| Register  | FAQ  | Search | Login 
It is currently Sat Oct 25, 2014 12:53 am

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4427 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77 ... 178  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2013 9:12 pm 
Offline
Level 7 Vegan
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:15 pm
Posts: 1533
Location: Seattle!
Mars wrote:
Jellyyyyy of the last bunch of posts like whut! Damn I thought I was moved on from these feelings of wanting instant partnership, I really hadn't felt this feeling for a while! But I'm just going to blame it on temporary brain-chemistry-related insanity. But all I can think about today is wanting my crush to text me and ask me to hang out. But we're so so new and also I think we seem like both very cautious people, I don't know. I wish I could find someone I wouldn't feel hesitant to do like what missdelaney's doing. But I always feel so hesitant at first! Question to you all; I mean, maybe this should be in the crush thread but it's not exactly off-topic as I'd like this to become a relationship. Anyhow; so, he asked me out in the first place. He was all paying for everything the first date and it felt so neat that I was the one who someone else was trying to make an impression on! Usually it's the other way around. He was the one who later was like "so, this is how I feel, hope you're interested as well, blah blah blah"... But yet, I still have been feeling like I have to cool my jets on how much I should text/initiate. I always feel that way with the people I date and do resist a lot of urges to text mostly. I always get into "play it cool" mantra, which sometimes I think... Maybe I shouldn't, to a certain degree? I mean, maybe they're thinking the same thing and they're hoping I'll text them too? Argh it's so confusing and stupid and hard.


To be fair, this is entirely 100% out of character for me. I am usually crazy-cautious, slow to get close, and, honestly, tend to do the phase-out thing while dating (or making friends, even). I've never met anyone I've so instantly bonded with (and to!), and I can hardly believe it's reciprocated. Not even friendships for me are like this. I'm still in that cautious "don't get your hopes up! assume the worst!" headspace I'm so good at, but, damnit, no! Not this time! I really forking like him!

_________________
"Its really hard to keep in shape, my prison of principles only has so much pacing space." - Shy Mox

The Oxford Imposition: http://theoxfordimposition.wordpress.com


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2013 9:13 pm 
Offline
Semen Strong
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 19105
Location: Cliffbar NJ
PPPP, I love your Trevor stories so much! I find it so inspiring that even without having a lot of love and kindness modeled for you in your family of origin, that you and T have been able to create this beautiful relationship, where you respect and adore one another and have so much joy in each other. It was really nice seeing you in person - because that love really shines through in your interactions.

Flavabean,I am sending you tons of hugs, and I hope that things get easier soon. <3 <3 <3

_________________
My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2013 9:16 pm 
Offline
Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:47 pm
Posts: 1810
Location: vancouver island
Yay, Tofulish! I'm glad you are getting what you need. That rocks.

_________________
when you realise how perfect everything is, you will tilt you head back and laugh at the sky. -buddha


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2013 9:28 pm 
Offline
Semen Strong
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 19105
Location: Cliffbar NJ
Awwww! Thanks! It does rock! I don't think I have ever had an easy relationship in my life and most of it is me getting in my own way, because I just have the hardest time letting my guard down and trusting people. I am kind of used to things being hard, and when they aren't I think sometimes I create turmoil inadvertently because I am just better at handling that. So even if Brett does a lot of really kind and loving things for me, I focus on the one thing he didn't do and then we fight because he feels unappreciated etc. We have both been focusing on building a lot of gratitude for the other and enjoying the moments we have with Leela. We both seem to have found a way to easily be our best selves with her, and are now extending that kindness and patience to one another. Its really easy for me to lose sight of the amazing person you share your life with, and so I love to hear the stories of those of you who have long and loving relationships, where you maintain your appreciation for your partners <3

_________________
My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2013 12:27 am 
Offline
Plays The Sims 2 religiously
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:20 pm
Posts: 7553
Location: Portland, OR
Oh I forgot to update y'all that he responded and it was cute what he said :}

_________________
i would schmear marmite on a moist scrotum for Mars. - interrobang?!
"Not everything." ~ mumbles (1973-2013) - mumbles


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2013 12:29 am 
Offline
Semen Strong
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 19105
Location: Cliffbar NJ
YAY! Huzzah for being yourself!

_________________
My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2013 9:48 am 
Offline
Trapped On A Desert Island With A Cow
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2010 11:24 am
Posts: 400
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Can I post about an NSA casual relationship that is happening to me right now? He's a good friend, a goofball, and it makes for some smiles because he's hilarious.
Too bad, alreeady doin it:

I was driving my car with him in the passenger seat to a church where I'm playing a wedding next month; I needed to pick up the music for the wedding. I'm driving pretty fast and miss the turn for the church so I step on the breaks hard to take the next turn, which is coming up fast. It worked, but under his breath he goes:

"Ooooohh myyyy goddddd.."
And I'm all like "WHAT NOW".
And he goes, "Oooh just remembering how awesome it is to ride with you all of sudden".

We get to the church and the windows to my car are open and he starts singing really loudly/obnoxiously "Our God is an Awesome God", where he only knows the first part of it. So he just kept repeating that part and singing it loudly while people were walking in and out of the church.

*disclaimer that he is not religious at all. I am stating pure fact here-this is what he did-and I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but I thought it was freaking hilarious*

_________________
MN Vegan blog-->http://www.mnvegan.blogspot.com

Now go eat some vegan food and don't complain about the world.
-Claire Galant, T.O.F.U Magazine


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 10:10 am 
Offline
Semen Strong
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 19105
Location: Cliffbar NJ
http://lifehacker.com/how-to-turn-an-ar ... 1171337265

Quote:
When you first get upset or angry with your significant other, there are almost always two problems: your emotions and the actual problem. For example, say you're frustrated with your partner for not doing the dishes. You now have two problems to solve: the dishes need to be done and you need to no longer be upset with your partner for not doing them.

In most other areas in life, we recognize that you need to prioritize your problems and deal with them separately. It only makes sense to do the same with your fights. Before you tell your loved one something along the lines of "For the love of crepe, could you please do the dishes for once?!" you may want to make sure you're not one of those irrational people that make productive discussions difficult.

When you're angry and aimed at your loved one, that's the worst time to start airing your grievances (save that for Festivus) :P

...Accepting that your emotions are a real thing that need to be dealt with and distinct from the subject of your actual argument sets the stage for resolution

_________________
My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 10:26 am 
Offline
Flat Chesty McNoBoobs
User avatar

Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2010 11:41 am
Posts: 7552
Location: Portland
I was really sick yesterday (fever, sick to my stomach, etc.), and D was so great. He got out of my hair for most of the day, so I could snooze and have quiet time, and then he went and got me pho and then went and got me ice cream. He checked my temperature and made sure I was drinking lots of water and that I was comfortable. It's not a huge thing, but man, it means a lot to me.

_________________
If you spit on my food I will blow your forking head off, you filthy shitdog. - Mumbles
Don't you know that vegan meat is the gateway drug to chicken addiction? Because GMO and trans-fats. - kaerlighed


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 10:56 am 
Offline
Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:30 pm
Posts: 4589
Location: zomgz dijk
jopa: that sounds so sweet! being taken care of when you feel like shiitake is the best.

_________________
ॐ लोकः समासतः सुखिनो भवन्तु
http://www.embracingtheworld.org


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 11:14 am 
Offline
Mispronounces Daiya
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:44 pm
Posts: 1394
Location: Boston, MA
jopa, that is super sweet of him! It's the little things are often the nicest.

More serious future talk is happening with my guy. We need to have an actual sit-down (or stroll by the river) to talk about it at some point, but we talk about it in passing as we are going about our lives. It's exciting but also means we might be depending on each other and helping each other in new ways. We've definitely settled into cohabiting very quickly and comfortably, it's been really nice!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 11:11 am 
Offline
Dying from Nooch Lung
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:50 pm
Posts: 3250
Location: The Bene
My bf and I were at the garden center today just browsing for ideas. While he was looking at pond materials, I was looking for a small watering can for indoors. I found one shaped like a rubber ducky, which I thought was adorable, and in all my goofiness walked towards him with the duck watering can going "quack quack quack". He didn't look up from what he was doing, so I kept repeating "quack quack quack" and making the duck bob in the air. Finally he looked up and started laughing. He's like "I didn't look up because I just thought you were up to your usual shenanegins."

Apparently he's so used to me quacking like a duck (or meowing, or barking) for no good reason that he takes it for granted as normal now.

_________________
Ain't no guarantees in life, and nothing that comes out of my vagina can change that. - Erika Soyf*cker

I'd rather have a cupcake and a matte stomach. - Desdemona


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 12:05 pm 
Offline
Inflexitarian
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2012 10:17 am
Posts: 756
Location: Toronto
Aaaahhhh. My partner and I are flying to my parents place to visit for a week. This will be the first time she'll be meeting my parents and seeing the area I grew up in. We might also get to see some relatives and a couple of old friends. It is exciting. Also a little bit scary? But mostly exciting!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 1:18 pm 
Offline
Smuggling Raisins
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2010 12:44 pm
Posts: 336
Location: Jungles of America
This thread has fallen from page 1. How's everyone doing? I feel like there is an honesty and depth to these important relationship issues that a lot of other topics lack (no offense to Miley). Also, some of the advice here is great.

You guys working out well lately AP? I'm getting married in a couple months and don't really have any big issues to add. It sucks being the only one making any money, but my SO just graduated school in May so I'm being patient with the job hunt. Wedding planning seems to be a full time job itself. I'm also one of those people who is social while my SO isn't, but we've been together for years and I think we're comfortable with me going out alone 90% of the time. I see some of the same issues everyone else has and sometimes just reading about them keeps me level-headed in my own relationship. I find this a healthy thread.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 1:30 pm 
Offline
Invented Vegan Meringue
User avatar

Joined: Sat Nov 06, 2010 3:25 pm
Posts: 3658
Location: Nashville, TN
Tigon wrote:
I'm also one of those people who is social while my SO isn't, but we've been together for years and I think we're comfortable with me going out alone 90% of the time.


I think this may end up being the direction my relationship goes. I enjoy my husband's company, but on the rare occasion I can get him out without feeling like I'm forcing him, he usually wants to leave earlier than I do, and I spend most of the night worrying about whether or not he's having fun.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 2:13 pm 
Offline
WELFARIST!
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:08 pm
Posts: 5026
Location: WV
Tigon wrote:

You guys working out well lately AP?


Actually, yes. I haven't updated in awhile because I felt a tad overwhelmed by the DTMFA brigade. You all know I value your advice, but it takes me awhile to think on things and I like to talk to people in my life that know me well (you only see my good side [ha]). I've spoken a lot with my parents, best friend, and good guy friend and have gotten lots of advice. The general consensus was to see if things look up, stay alert, and get out if things remain uncool/get worse, but that also some things are worth sticking out...I just have to decide if this is one of them. After the half truth that he told me, I was having some major trust issues. He wasn't doing or saying anything shady, but I was feeling majorly suspicious, because I've been cheated on before and don't want to go through that again. I was strongly resisting the urge to snoop. A tearful conversation with my parents about this (emphasizing that he has not been acting shady, and had actually been totally awesome as of late) ended with my decision to trust, take things at face value, and not look for shiitake where no shiitake was evident. Since then, I've been feeling a lot better. He's been far less grumpy, and even when he is, he's not taking it out on me like he was. I also happened to have a conversation with his best friend this morning that set me even more at ease.

So, things are actually going well. Don't worry, I'm keeping my eyes open, and I wouldn't stay if things were awful. I promise.

Oh! And congrats on your upcoming nuptials, Tigon!

_________________
But if one were to tickle Pluto, I suspect that it might very quietly laugh. - pandacookie

55k usd is like 4 cad or whatever equivalent in beavers you use on the island - joshua


Awesome. Vegan. Rad.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 3:39 pm 
Offline
Smuggling Raisins
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2010 12:44 pm
Posts: 336
Location: Jungles of America
allularpunk wrote:
Oh! And congrats on your upcoming nuptials, Tigon!

Thanks. What I've learned is that you should elope or do a destination wedding (which save a lot of planning and money). But I've got a complicated traditional wedding that just keeps getting bigger and bigger. I'm glad it's coming soon.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 10:38 am 
Offline
Inflexitarian
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2012 10:17 am
Posts: 756
Location: Toronto
Tea wrote:
Aaaahhhh. My partner and I are flying to my parents place to visit for a week. This will be the first time she'll be meeting my parents and seeing the area I grew up in. We might also get to see some relatives and a couple of old friends. It is exciting. Also a little bit scary? But mostly exciting!


The trip was awesome. We got to visit all of the places I used to love visiting, as well as seeing lots of family and old friends (and their cats! Across the many visits, 9 friendly cats were hung out with). My partner had a really good time and it felt good to be able to share some of the places and people that shaped me with her. Everyone we saw liked her, too! (though if they didn't, I probably wouldn't care)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 10:46 am 
Offline
WELFARIST!
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:08 pm
Posts: 5026
Location: WV
Glad it went well!

_________________
But if one were to tickle Pluto, I suspect that it might very quietly laugh. - pandacookie

55k usd is like 4 cad or whatever equivalent in beavers you use on the island - joshua


Awesome. Vegan. Rad.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 10:27 am 
Offline
Flat Chesty McNoBoobs
User avatar

Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2010 11:41 am
Posts: 7552
Location: Portland
D and I survived our first camping trip! We went for two nights to Waldo Lake, an alpine lake about 3.5 hours from Portland. We had his 66 Chevy pickup, borrowed tent and camp chairs, a dozen field roast franks, and two kinds of vegan marshmallows. We forgot both our newly-purchased camp stove and the coffee. The plan was to do a long mountain bike ride on our second day. Things went reasonably well until D ran into a hornet's nest in the middle of the trail roughly 8 miles by trail from anything. I froze up, so he ran back across the nest to grab my bike and me, and we ran back through the nest and managed to get to the other side with only 8 stings between us (2 for me, 6 for him). As frustrated as I'd been up to that point with being pretty far out of my bike comfort zone (which is, if I do say so myself, pretty huge), D is pretty much a hero in my book. We made it back to camp with plenty of time before dark, and all in all, it was a fun ride and fun day.

_________________
If you spit on my food I will blow your forking head off, you filthy shitdog. - Mumbles
Don't you know that vegan meat is the gateway drug to chicken addiction? Because GMO and trans-fats. - kaerlighed


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 12:35 pm 
Offline
Nailed to the V
User avatar

Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2010 5:19 pm
Posts: 533
Location: TN
^^^ oh that's such a great story! sorry about your hornet stings, though. that can be really terrifying. the only thing you really can do is run like hell when you run into those. car camping can be so awesome, especially when it's a home-base for lots of other outdoor activities.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 6:35 pm 
Offline
Plays The Sims 2 religiously
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:20 pm
Posts: 7553
Location: Portland, OR
So my well man-friend K... He and I have such AWESOME times when we're together, and I get really strong feedback from him about where this is going and how into me he is. Problem is... He's so frakking busy all the time. Works like 60 hours a week, maybe more. And he puts his cell phone away while at work so if I want to get in touch with him about something at like 9 am, it takes until 6:30pm for me to hear back. That's annoying me, a lot. Can he not check it during a break? Argh. Everytime we don't see each other for a few days I start thinking like "maybe I can't make this work"... But then I see him and it's freaking perfect. Damnit.

_________________
i would schmear marmite on a moist scrotum for Mars. - interrobang?!
"Not everything." ~ mumbles (1973-2013) - mumbles


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 7:16 pm 
Offline
Has gasoline in her veins
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:58 pm
Posts: 3333
Location: pdx
i had been (intentionally) single for so long that i've forgotten how to do this. aaagh what am i doing?!

oh, brain... get out of my heart's way.

_________________
"I rebuke this thread in the name of Jesus." -Jagadeesh


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 7:18 pm 
Offline
Drinks Wild Tofurkey
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 4:12 pm
Posts: 2666
Location: MKE
aw, Mars, I hate that! so annoying when people can't check their phones just to send a smile or whatever. he has to go to the bathroom sometime, right? also a good place to text. I'm glad you're enjoying the together time, though; together times are the best.

Long friend rant:
So my deal is not really about my relationship, per se. My partner and I planned this camping trip with both our friends (big deal for us, integrating friends) and reserved the campsite and invited people 4-5 months ago. We even sent out a reminder 2 weeks ago. People are RSVPing, it's looking great. My partner is super excited. Then last night he texted one of his really good friends to see about how much/type of beer/food to bring and his friend says he isn't coming because of a thing for C, a friend who died last year. Turns out, some of my partner's friends planned a memorial event for C last month and no one invited Mr. Fizzgig. So it turns out most of his friends are not coming, but no one told us that they weren't coming or that there was a memorial for his friend/former roommate. He's super bummed and I just don't know what to tell him. He's trying to play it off like it isn't a big deal, but I can tell he's upset. I'm not really sure what I'm looking for here, but since this is kind of friend-relationshipy, I thought I'd stick it in this thread. Also: how do you encourage your partner to hang out with their own friends without you/at all? He doesn't really see his friends much because they go Up North a lot and we don't.

TL;DR: My man's friends are not communicating with him and it makes me sad.

_________________
"I think I am going to turn into a chickpea." ~Dakini
Love is like a pineapple, sweet and undefinable ~ Piet Hein


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 9:12 pm 
Offline
Plays The Sims 2 religiously
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:20 pm
Posts: 7553
Location: Portland, OR
I would suggest flat out asking the friend who planned it why they didn't tell you guys. And I'd word it "why didn't you invite us" not "invite him", because then it's less like interfering on so some else's behalf. But it does totally concern you, too, and I think they should at least be asked just so they know its been noticed. It's shitty and I dont think it should slide.

_________________
i would schmear marmite on a moist scrotum for Mars. - interrobang?!
"Not everything." ~ mumbles (1973-2013) - mumbles


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4427 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77 ... 178  Next

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: EmJaeDee, Google [Bot], vijita and 4 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Template made by DEVPPL/ThatBigForum and fancied up by What Cheer