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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 8:55 pm 
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Flat Chesty McNoBoobs
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Tofulish wrote:
Well, there could be a thousand reasons, but you probably will never know what they are, they probably don't have anything to do with you, and you could spend years going down the rabbit hole of wondering why this guy isn't treating you the way you want to be treated to. Or it could be as simple as looking at the way he is treating you, and deciding that you don't want to allow anyone to treat you that way.

I really feel your pain. I dated someone like that for 5 years off and on, and it was alternately wonderful when he would show up and be there and awful when he would blow me off at the last minute. And he was also dealing with a lot of mental health issues, so I cut him so much slack, because I wanted to be the one who would be there for him and help him figure things out, so I could end up with the amazing guy he was when he would actually show up. And I cannot tell you what a huge waste of energy and mental space that was. It was a huge wake up call for me, that it didn't matter why someone was treating me like crepe. I had two choices - tolerate it or refuse to tolerate it. Life is too short for shitty relationships, y'know?


All of this^.

It doesn't matter why he is the way he is and is treating you the way he is. You have no control over any of that, and understanding it isn't going to change it. What you get to control in this situation is how you respond to being treated poorly. Personally, I'd suggest you respond by telling K that he's not meeting your needs, and that you wish him well, but that you will no longer date him, and then by treating yourself to some booze and Back to Eden soft serve.

Also, for what it's worth, though I'm probably not the type you'd choose to hang around with normally, if you're lonely and need a bit of drinking and venting, I will buy you a beer. I warn you, though, I'm pushy and have a lot of pent up big sister impulses I don't get to exercise much because my siblings live in Canada. I'm also not really a hugger or cuddler, so if those are dealbreakers, I totally understand.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 9:27 pm 
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jordanpattern wrote:
Also, for what it's worth, though I'm probably not the type you'd choose to hang around with normally, if you're lonely and need a bit of drinking and venting, I will buy you a beer. I warn you, though, I'm pushy and have a lot of pent up big sister impulses I don't get to exercise much because my siblings live in Canada. I'm also not really a hugger or cuddler, so if those are dealbreakers, I totally understand.

Honestly the type of person I hang around with normally is a pretty dang wide spectrum, I don't imagine you'd fall out of it!

Also I love pushy, big sister types, and though I am a hugger/cuddler, I am only that way once I'm quite close to someone. So no problems in my book!

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 11:23 pm 
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Ya'll might be happy to know after perusing Meetup.com I've found a QUEER COUNTRY WESTERN DANCE GROUP that's meeting TOMORROW, and a vegan gay men's meet up group, that's meeting Wed! Going to both.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 1:44 am 
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Excellent, Mars!

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 4:41 am 
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Mars wrote:
Ya'll might be happy to know after perusing Meetup.com I've found a QUEER COUNTRY WESTERN DANCE GROUP that's meeting TOMORROW [...]


Can I come move to Portland?

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 7:05 am 
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lycophyte wrote:
papercuts wrote:

I think it's made worse by living in this place (conservative East Tennessee), where it's so difficult to find people with similar viewpoints/outlook as myself. I know I'm still months from being able to consider another relationship, but the thought of starting over is enough to send me into another tailspin. *sigh*


Ugh I have felt that way about my ex and I'm in Asheville which has to be way better than Knoxville (but its a smaller town so maybe not?). Either way, I can see that my ex is still a 94% match for me blahblahblah, I mean how can it be better, right? Now I felt that about my ex before that one, but the chances to meet *anotheranother* one?

But I'm sure it will happen if I actually want it to, right? blergh. It doesn't bother me as much as it used to though because I have hit my cynical not giving a crepe about anyone ever again stage, so that's good.

Mars, it sounds like you really will be better off. I mean, he obviously isn't going to ever totally meet your needs. So, unless you were gonna be polyamorous or something, you are gonna have to just do it!


Lycophyte--I know that when I was doing the online dating thing, it seemed like everyone I could ever really want to meet lived in Asheville (but I didn't message anyone from there, because really that is a crazy haul). In my imagination, it's the big queer/progressive mecca of Appalachia... but maybe the grass is always greener on the other side? As much as I don't want to be continually uprooting myself, I think that when I get out of grad school in a million years (or one and a half), I'm going to spend some time applying for jobs in Asheville.

Also, I'd give anything to be cynical again! Haha... it's so odd because I was really at that place 16 months ago... I was so certain that I would be alone forever, and honestly I really loved that idea. I did date some, but I mostly trying to find someone that I could settle for being around (hence the cynicism). Right now, I'm not even sure that I would be able to trust someone or to be open with them if they exist at all, even if my fairy godmother whispered in my ear "no, but really, sh/ze is the one and will treat you like gold!"

Mars--I'm glad it sounds like you have found some optimism! Have you used Meetup much? Oddly enough, I recently signed up on it. There is one (1!) LGBT group within 50 miles of me, but it looks like they do some fun things. I'm considering going, but a little nervous about it.


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 8:54 am 
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Imogen wrote:
Mars wrote:
Ya'll might be happy to know after perusing Meetup.com I've found a QUEER COUNTRY WESTERN DANCE GROUP that's meeting TOMORROW [...]


Can I come move to Portland?


Right?! I hope y'all do the Tush Push. That was always the one that I wanted to get down. I'm not too good for a little Boot Scoot though!

Many wishes of strength, Mars. It sounds like you know what you need to do.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 10:04 am 
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papercuts wrote:
Lycophyte--I know that when I was doing the online dating thing, it seemed like everyone I could ever really want to meet lived in Asheville (but I didn't message anyone from there, because really that is a crazy haul). In my imagination, it's the big queer/progressive mecca of Appalachia... but maybe the grass is always greener on the other side? As much as I don't want to be continually uprooting myself, I think that when I get out of grad school in a million years (or one and a half), I'm going to spend some time applying for jobs in Asheville.

Also, I'd give anything to be cynical again! Haha... it's so odd because I was really at that place 16 months ago... I was so certain that I would be alone forever, and honestly I really loved that idea. I did date some, but I mostly trying to find someone that I could settle for being around (hence the cynicism). Right now, I'm not even sure that I would be able to trust someone or to be open with them if they exist at all, even if my fairy godmother whispered in my ear "no, but really, sh/ze is the one and will treat you like gold!"


It took me a looooooong time after this breakup to even get to this cynical state. Like 5 months post breakup or something; usually I start out there, but the last 2 breakups I feel all confident and hopeful for a minute. So you might get there. The problem with it taking so long this time means I was actually out dating and someone got into me before I realized how icy-cold my heart is right now.
Asheville is a long hault, but its no longer than my haul was to Boone with my ex. I guess maybe its OKC and the pool is smaller. I should try real world dating and when I'm done with my grad school (has to be right about...now...) maybe I'll have time for that.

Mars- Queer Country dance groups have been around a LONG time. I think they have one here, but it might just be line dancing? I knew people in the group in Cleveland and my gay marching band group played for their Christmas party once and it was so fun!

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 10:38 am 
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Big hugs to those with heartache. Ya'll are in my thoughts.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 5:42 pm 
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papercuts wrote:
Mars--I'm glad it sounds like you have found some optimism! Have you used Meetup much? Oddly enough, I recently signed up on it. There is one (1!) LGBT group within 50 miles of me, but it looks like they do some fun things. I'm considering going, but a little nervous about it.

I've never used it before, but Tofulish has posted about it before so I thought I'd give it a shot. I think you should definitely give it a shot too!

I mean... I'm just doing the "fake it till you make it" kind of optimism. I'm pretty damn annoyed really. At least I didn't let myself get as tangled up as normal so I'm not broken hearted or anything. But I'm just so freaking disappointed, confused, lonely, and a little pissed! And really, I'll be honest with y'all, most of my hurt feelings come from the idea that I don't get to fork him again. Every forkin thing about him physically and sexually is exactly 100% what I want and desire.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 9:57 pm 
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I love meetup! I joined a bunch of hiking groups and found not only awesome hiking partners but good friends. And, I've seen several hookups among the singles even though we are all in it for serious hiking. It's been fun seeing romance bloom on the trails.

I love the meetup format, the idea that stuff starts on time (if you have a good leader) and that everyone is self sufficient and responsible for themselves.


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 10:46 pm 
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Well I just got back from the queer line dance group, and for the month of Oct they're learning the (simplified line-ish version) dance to MJ's Thriller! So I not only got to hang around queers who are into line dancing, but also listen to MJ and pretend to be a zombie.

Okay it's probably time I get back on topic!

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 1:07 am 
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Mars wrote:
Well I just got back from the queer line dance group, and for the month of Oct they're learning the (simplified line-ish version) dance to MJ's Thriller! So I not only got to hang around queers who are into line dancing, but also listen to MJ and pretend to be a zombie.

Okay it's probably time I get back on topic!

Mars, my darling, this exactly IS the topic! There's a wonderful, fun and love-filled life out there for you, and you don't have to settle for relationships that make you feel hurt and belittled. Yay for queer zombie line-dancers!

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 6:30 am 
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My ex refuses to talk to me for nearly two years, and then decides to break that just as I run into her unexpectedly after cycling four miles uphill and being really knackered, puffing and sweaty. Why at just that point? Argh.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 6:57 am 
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I feel a little bad. I went to bed before T last night and he said he'd be in shortly. But when I woke up at 4:30 in the morning, he was still up watching tv. That's not that big of a deal, we both have a really hard time sleeping, so it's not unusual for me to find him that way late at night. But I just could not fall back asleep. Usually, if I'm home and I wake up in the middle of the night, I read for a bit until I'm sleepy again, but I don't have a bedside table or lamp in his room, so there's only overhead light, which I hate and would keep me up. He wasn't in the mood for couch snuggling (sometimes this is a go, sometimes not, not a big deal), so there I was, just wide awake forever. If I wake up in the night and he's in bed with me, I don't have a problem falling back asleep, but having him in a different room was just making me more awake.

So I went home. I feel bad because he obviously didn't want me to leave, and I was trying to explain that I just couldn't sleep and didn't want to just lie there awake or reading with the overhead light on. I could tell he felt bad, like my not sleeping was his fault. Now I feel like I should have stayed. I came home and didn't sleep anyway, so what difference did it even make? I'm going to pick up a little lamp today and set up a bedside table (he has them, just not actually by my side of the bed at the moment) with a book and a glass of water and some melatonin for when it happens again, because I really didn't want to go, I was just feeling restless. I dunno, I just hope he's not that upset about it.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 7:53 am 
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I think that doing what you need to do to sleep more comfortably there will show him that it wasn't him and that you are trying to prevent that situation again instead of using it as an excuse to leave or whatever. I don't think he should be upset at you for trying to do what works for you...sleep is important!

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 8:02 am 
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So long as he doesn't mind your adding stuff to his bedroom, it sounds like a good solution to me, alullarpunk, especially if he already knows how both of you are about (lack of) sleep. (And if I read your post wrong and he doesn't know, now might be a good time to bring it up.)

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 8:17 am 
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Yeah, I think you guys are right. He hasn't minded my addition of some things to his house, so hopefully a lamp and moving a table around won't be that big of a deal. He does know that I'm a bad sleeper also. And he is at least annoyed because he isn't answering my texts. Probably confounded by the fact that he obviously didn't sleep much last night either. Now is the time for me to practice giving him space and not pester him while he's at work. Ugh, I hate that small things like this give me so much anxiety. It will be fine, but I hate feeling unsettled. I know from experience that he views leaving when things are less than awesome as some form of abandonment. We didn't have a fight or anything, but when we've had arguments before and I've wanted to leave (I just hate confrontation and my immediate reaction is flight, just because I want to get away from it), I've gotten the distinct idea that if I left it would make things a million times worse. I just hope he doesn't see it as some form of me wanting to get away from him or not wanting to be around him.

And as always, I am most likely overthinking all of it, and it will be fine once we talk. I'm just bad at being calm and patient in the meantime.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 8:27 am 
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just a thought, but nothing is quite like sleep deprivation for making things seem really forking miserable. make a joke about naptime later, and take one thing at a time. nobody is at their best when they're exhausted, know that they have to sleep or they'll feel even worse, and surely he will get that too.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 8:27 am 
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allularpunk wrote:
And as always, I am most likely overthinking all of it, and it will be fine once we talk. I'm just bad at being calm and patient in the meantime.



This is how it usually goes for me, too. NatureBoy has to constantly remind me not to over think things because he likes it when stuff is brought up and we get the chance to talk, even if it is just my own stuff. (Like, the fact that I'm sad to loose his cuddles for 3 weeks but stoked to be on my jumping-out-of-bed at 5am schedule again, since I apparently can't wake up and leave him here.)


If it would help you to not pester him, maybe write and re-write what you think the issues involved are, and what you think "a good resolution" might be?

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 8:56 am 
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torque, you're totally right. We've both had to take a step back on several occasions because one or the other of us hasn't had any sleep. And lutin, that is an excellent idea for when I'm over thinking things! I usually do that in my head, which makes me feel crazy, so it would definitely help to write it down.

At any rate, everything is fine. When I said that he was ignoring my texts, what really happened was that he was working and it took him around 30 minutes to get back to me. I'm so neurotic. (But really.)

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 9:11 am 
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The thing I like about actually writing it down on actual paper, is then I can fold it up and put it aside "to be considered later" (and then can get back to whatever actually needs doing).

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 11:52 am 
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+1 to Lutin's suggestion. I've been doing something similar, writing down how I feel, why I think I feel that way, and how I'd like to feel instead. For my current situation I've also been writing what I need from Wilson, what he is able to give me, and the resolution, and it's been helping me considerably. Things have actually been really good at home. While I miss my husband, he is an excellent friend and roommate, and we are settling into a new routine. And 'the other woman' blocked me on Facebook, which is probably the best thing that could have happened there. Wilson isn't even interested in her anymore, but she was seemingly stirring the pot. (I did learn a funny saying from my dad, "If they stir the shiitake, they should have to lick the spoon.")

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 11:59 am 
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The boyfriend and I finally had a talk on Saturday about how we're going to work out if he won't actually talk to me about what he wants. He quite literally freezes up and can't answer when I ask how he feels about x, or if he wants to try z. So I told him that it is absolutely a dealbreaker, and told him why. He told me that was how his last and only relationship ended- she finally got fed up of him not talking. Well! Somehow I got him to understand and get comfy talking about his feels, 'cause now he's sharing, and seems way less uncomfortable with how open I am about everything.

And! We're meeting at Babeland when he's off work to get some fun things for this weekend (we're going on a weekend trip to a cabin). Feelings and sex talk! I feel like I won the lottery.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 12:34 pm 
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I'm so glad he started to open up! You two have fun!!

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