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 Post subject: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:31 pm 
A Bad Person
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I was crouching to set down some equipment I was carrying, and I heard a pop, and I knew immediately that my pants had split. They're regular, black, work slacks. They're not new pants, but they're not exactly tight-fitting, and they're the only pair I have with me. I'm 40 miles from home, and I have three more hours before the end of the work day.

I don't even know where to start. It's not a little tear either, they forking exploded.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:33 pm 
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LMFAO!!!!

One day at work I spilt coffee grinds all over myself. It looked like I had pooped all over my top. It was only 10am and like you I lived faaaaaaar away from work. And I had a meeting to go to. The only option was to run out and buy a new top.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:33 pm 
No-pants hermit 4 lyfe
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dude! staples? duct tape? can you tie your shirt around your waist and run down the street to a target? can you send a friend to fetch you new pants? will i ever stop laughing?

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:35 pm 
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Do you have any glue? Duct tape (which you would apply on the inside)? Don't suppose you are wearing a long shirt (a button down you could untuck?) or a tshirt you could stretch out a bit?

This is pretty much my ultimate nightmare so my heart goes out to you. Good luck guy!

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:36 pm 
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Pictures?

I kid, I kid. Do you have a spare shirt or sweatshirt or something at work? You can always employ the old "I got my period unexpectedly at school and bled through my pants but don't want anybody to know" trick of tying a sweatshirt around your waist to cover your asparagus. At least long enough to walk down the street and buy a needle/thread or some new pants.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:36 pm 
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Target's a fair distance away but my boss is understanding. I have a stapler, but I'm serious about how extensive the damage is. I have a gaping hole from my mid-ass all the way to the taint.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:37 pm 
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I also have a cardigan that I can wrap around.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:40 pm 
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Limone wrote:
Pictures?


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:40 pm 
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I'd probably duct tape from the inside and tie the cardigan. Good luck! I am terrified of things like that happening and would have no idea what to do, so you have my sympathies.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:40 pm 
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cardigan = viable solution, methinks. but you'll have to tell your boss about the hole in order to step out for a replacement garment, right? so i'm still laughing pretty hard.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:40 pm 
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Sigh.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:41 pm 
Queen Bitch of Self-Righteous Veganville
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Oh good, you do have your cardigan! Now you'll know what it's like to get your period in the middle of school.

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The tree is his penis // it's very exciting // when held up to his mouth // the lights are all lighting // his eyes start a-bulging // in unbridled glee // the tree is his penis // its beauty, effulgent -amandabear


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:42 pm 
A Bad Person
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This is what I get for lifting with my knees rather than my back.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:44 pm 
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mrsbadmouth wrote:
Oh good, you do have your cardigan! Now you'll know what it's like to get your period in the middle of school.


I managed not to laugh at Brian until I read this.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:45 pm 
A Bad Person
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It's okay to laugh at me. That's why I posted this.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:46 pm 
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If you really want us to laugh, the picture thing would help.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:48 pm 
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Kelly wrote:
If you really want us to laugh, the picture thing would help.


I vote we heckle until we have photos.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:51 pm 
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Yeah, I think we need pics so that we can properly address the situation. And this is another reason why more companies need to allow their employees to wear jeans.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:52 pm 
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It's pretty much impossible for me to get a picture here. I work in an office! I have like a half-wall cubicle. And the bathroom always has people in it. Oh well, here I go.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:58 pm 
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Nope, not happening. I got in there, and three other dudes walked in after me.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:58 pm 
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I would also like pictures of you taking the picture of yourself. I'm sure a coworker won't mind helping.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:59 pm 
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Let's all just hope he's wearing his sexy underpants.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:01 pm 
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We can assume that all three guys in the bathroom were laughing too though.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:06 pm 
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Even though it is nothing to do with splitting pants I am reminded off this......


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 Post subject: Re: I'm at work and I just split my pants.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:23 pm 
Queen Bitch of Self-Righteous Veganville
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If I wasn't still at work i'd bring you pants.

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The tree is his penis // it's very exciting // when held up to his mouth // the lights are all lighting // his eyes start a-bulging // in unbridled glee // the tree is his penis // its beauty, effulgent -amandabear


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