Post Punk Kitchen Forum

I was crouching to set down some equipment I was carrying, and I heard a pop, and I knew immediately that my pants had split. They're regular, black, work slacks. They're not new pants, but they're not exactly tight-fitting, and they're the only pair I have with me. I'm 40 miles from home, and I have three more hours before the end of the work day.

I don't even know where to start. It's not a little tear either, they forking exploded.

LMFAO!!!!

One day at work I spilt coffee grinds all over myself. It looked like I had pooped all over my top. It was only 10am and like you I lived faaaaaaar away from work. And I had a meeting to go to. The only option was to run out and buy a new top.

dude! staples? duct tape? can you tie your shirt around your waist and run down the street to a target? can you send a friend to fetch you new pants? will i ever stop laughing?

Do you have any glue? Duct tape (which you would apply on the inside)? Don't suppose you are wearing a long shirt (a button down you could untuck?) or a tshirt you could stretch out a bit?

This is pretty much my ultimate nightmare so my heart goes out to you. Good luck guy!

Pictures?

I kid, I kid. Do you have a spare shirt or sweatshirt or something at work? You can always employ the old "I got my period unexpectedly at school and bled through my pants but don't want anybody to know" trick of tying a sweatshirt around your waist to cover your asparagus. At least long enough to walk down the street and buy a needle/thread or some new pants.

Target's a fair distance away but my boss is understanding. I have a stapler, but I'm serious about how extensive the damage is. I have a gaping hole from my mid-ass all the way to the taint.

I also have a cardigan that I can wrap around.

I'd probably duct tape from the inside and tie the cardigan. Good luck! I am terrified of things like that happening and would have no idea what to do, so you have my sympathies.

cardigan = viable solution, methinks. but you'll have to tell your boss about the hole in order to step out for a replacement garment, right? so i'm still laughing pretty hard.

Sigh.

Oh good, you do have your cardigan! Now you'll know what it's like to get your period in the middle of school.

This is what I get for lifting with my knees rather than my back.

I managed not to laugh at Brian until I read this.

It's okay to laugh at me. That's why I posted this.

If you really want us to laugh, the picture thing would help.

I vote we heckle until we have photos.

Yeah, I think we need pics so that we can properly address the situation. And this is another reason why more companies need to allow their employees to wear jeans.

It's pretty much impossible for me to get a picture here. I work in an office! I have like a half-wall cubicle. And the bathroom always has people in it. Oh well, here I go.

Nope, not happening. I got in there, and three other dudes walked in after me.

I would also like pictures of you taking the picture of yourself. I'm sure a coworker won't mind helping.

Let's all just hope he's wearing his sexy underpants.

We can assume that all three guys in the bathroom were laughing too though.

Even though it is nothing to do with splitting pants I am reminded off this......

If I wasn't still at work i'd bring you pants.