| Register  | FAQ  | Search | Login 
It is currently Fri Dec 19, 2014 8:54 am

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 2128 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69 ... 86  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 10:59 am 
Offline
Who's Ted Leo?
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:44 pm
Posts: 7221
Location: Modesto, CA
next time someone hands a baby over to be gushed at i will be like 'no thanks! i'm vegan'! ;)

_________________
The Stay At Home Girlfriend: A zine that focuses on
vegan recipes, cat love and living with OCD.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/missmuffcake


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 8:19 am 
Offline
So Totally Yiffy
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2014 3:33 pm
Posts: 39
Location: Massachusetts
Kind of relevant: next Friday I'm going to finally get a sterilization! I'm so excited, but kind of nervous.

I could never imagine having kids. I don't see any reason to have them, but I see plenty of reasons why I shouldn't have them...

Some kids are okay. A few are even pretty cool. But with most kids I have no idea how to react to. They have yet to figure out how to act in society...


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 10:35 am 
Offline
Chip Strong
User avatar

Joined: Thu May 30, 2013 5:31 pm
Posts: 951
Oooh, that's just a week away. I'd be excited and nervous too. I'm sorry if this is too personal a question, but what method of sterilization are you having done? I understand there's more than one way to tie a tube these days.

I've been toying with the idea, but at my age (44 very soon) it seems a bit silly, since I may not even be ovulating anymore. My husband had intended to have a vasectomy last year, but has since lost his nerve. For now we are using condoms, as I had no end of trouble with hormonal birth control. I would be nice to be free of bc altogether.It's too bad there wasn't a simple test and the doctor could tell me, "yeah, you're done", but it's contraception 'til menopause.

I wish you best of luck with the procedure Raven, hope it goes swimmingly. :)

_________________
"Well, don't give the chickens cookies, then" -one SassyOh customer, to another SassyOh customer.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 10:55 am 
Offline
TOTALLY CRADICAL
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:42 am
Posts: 4360
Location: Smugville, CA
Awesome, Raven! Wishing you the best of luck with your procedure and I'm so happy to know that you found a medical team willing to take your wishes seriously and give you a safe procedure. I know that can be a problem with a lot of us electively child-free women, especially when we are still in younger 'child-bearing' years. If it's not too personal I'd also like to know what method/procedure you chose.

I myself got Essure about 4 years ago. It's still pretty new and there was some scaremongering on Jezebel a few months ago because some women have had complications (proportionate to the number of patients experiencing complications from any number of other outpatient procedures). That said, I was in and out in a number of hours, within 3 months I knew definitively I could not get pregnant, and I haven't had any problems or regrets since!

_________________
Crazy rating: Double plus crazytown bananapants ~Jordanpattern
"It's, you know, your typical Portland restaurant; bowls." ~Kittee
Sews Before Bros


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 11:11 am 
Offline
Dying from Nooch Lung
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:50 pm
Posts: 3313
Location: The Bene
Jean, I was about 44 when I got sterilized. I waited that long because until then I hadn't really been in a long term relationship and wasn't having regular sex, so I had always had to use condoms anyway. I also thought it was a little silly this close to menopause, but my mom started menopause around 53, so I figured, hey, I can get at least nine years of pleasure out of this. Nowadays, it's really a no-muss, no fuss kind of procedure (both traditional ligation and Essure - long story, but I've actually had both procedures done) that it might be worth looking into if you don't feel like fussing with condoms anymore.

_________________
Ain't no guarantees in life, and nothing that comes out of my vagina can change that. - Erika Soyf*cker

I'd rather have a cupcake and a matte stomach. - Desdemona


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 11:17 am 
Offline
Chip Strong
User avatar

Joined: Thu May 30, 2013 5:31 pm
Posts: 951
Thanks lepelaar. For some reason I thought you had your procedure much younger.

You make a good point , my mom also had a late menopause. I'll bring it up again with my husband, but last time he was not at all keen. To his mind it's me having major surgery, and it frightens him. To be honest I'm a little afraid of the heavy periods that so many women I know have ended up with.

_________________
"Well, don't give the chickens cookies, then" -one SassyOh customer, to another SassyOh customer.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 11:42 am 
Offline
Just Loathin' Around!
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 8:17 pm
Posts: 7384
Location: bindlestiff
Well, if your surgery frightens him, the vasectomy for him is a fairly quick and easy procedure. Less than an hour for the surgery, healing in a week, and an easy check back to make sure the sperm are dead. 2 days off work max if you can do it over a double day off. He might reconsider that.

_________________
I sure do love beige food covered in gravy. -the wise rachell37

Panda With Cookie


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 12:55 pm 
Offline
TOTALLY CRADICAL
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:42 am
Posts: 4360
Location: Smugville, CA
Yeah, I understand his concern for you, but he needs to either deal or go under the knife himself. Can't have it both ways!

_________________
Crazy rating: Double plus crazytown bananapants ~Jordanpattern
"It's, you know, your typical Portland restaurant; bowls." ~Kittee
Sews Before Bros


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 1:17 pm 
Offline
WRETCHED
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:54 pm
Posts: 8929
Location: Maryland/DC area
My husband and I looked at vasectomies a few years ago and it seemed pretty straight forward. We also know a lot of men who have had them previously. We actually didn't fall through with it even though we were close to do so. I think partially because it was my idea and I would've felt better if it had been his and then I had a few 'what ifs' come up in my mind. Like I know we won't have kids, I can say that pretty confidently but I think we are ok with our current methods.

_________________
You are all a disgrace to vegans. Go f*ck yourselves, especially linanil.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 1:28 pm 
Offline
Chip Strong
User avatar

Joined: Thu May 30, 2013 5:31 pm
Posts: 951
Ah you guys are wonderful, and I know you're just looking out for me. Two of my previous partners have had vasectomies, so I know the simplicity of it . Dh's job is actually quite physical so it would be a week's pay he would lose - he has had a consult with a urologist. They're much more cautious these days about declaring sterility, and will tell you that there has to be at least 24 ejaculations or 6 months before they consider you possibly spermless and will test. This is a bit personal, but we just don't have sex that often. and my husband's wanking days are over, he's just too tired and likes to save what energy he has for the real deal. Our sex life is great, just not overly frequent these days. He works a hard job and he's bloody tired most of the time. Based on the info the urologist gave us, we were looking at a year plus after the procedure before we'd be sperm-free. Using condoms it not that big of deal for us, I just wistfully imagine not using them at all each time I read or hear of a sterilization. It's very rare my husband can take a week off work, and I'd rather he not spend it laid up with a bag of frozen peas on his scrotum - if you know what I mean. In other words, the vasectomy seemed like more of a hassle for both of us than the condoms, so we'll probably stick with what's simpler for us.

It's a good discussion though, sterilization that is, and I'm happy to contribute our little bit of information if it helps anyone else.

_________________
"Well, don't give the chickens cookies, then" -one SassyOh customer, to another SassyOh customer.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 2:11 pm 
Offline
Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:46 pm
Posts: 4497
Location: 5 mi east of philly
but they say OR 6 months. you could also probably be more frisky and do other things to speed it along if you want.

we were initially waiting around for vasalgel, but there have been so many hold-ups that they're not even looking at human trials until 2015 or possibly later. mr carrot seems forlorn that we can't do it all that often. (we're relying mainly on FAM and the occasional condom if we're in the danger zone, which i don't really feel comfortable with, cause if a condom was going to fail, that'd be the "best" time for it to fail. "luckily" it reduces enough sensation that we end up naturally doubling up, adding the withdrawal method on top of the condom and i finish him off manually.) all that to say, he's been looking into getting a vasectomy, and we're lucky that there's a specialist up in north jersey. i'm sad that vasalgel has been taking so long, but it's a socially funded grassroots thing, so that's to be expected.

_________________
I solved it for once and for all -- and for everyone -- by intentionally leaving behind some 9-lives burritos... ~Lorelei4mc
supercarrot.com, vegan groupony things, vegan coupons


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 3:52 pm 
Offline
Spent a night at the Bates Motel
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:31 pm
Posts: 2141
Location: detroit, mi
I'm enjoying reading about everyone's methods of birth control, permanent and otherwise. I've been on the pill for a few years now because it also helps with my PCOS symptoms. I just got health insurance a week ago and I'm looking more seriously into Implanon, the birth control implant. It isn't permanent like Essure but it lasts for three years and is a very minor, noninvasive procedure. Between the pill and my psych meds, my sex drive is less than zero, so I'm hoping the libido loss with the implant is less than the pill.

_________________
I'm still buddhist & I still love cupcakes.
My crochet blog! http://threadbythreadzen.blogspot.com


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 6:16 am 
Offline
Ninja Master
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:00 pm
Posts: 4652
Location: Surrey, UK
My 4 week old nephew is beautiful and I love cuddles with him but living in a house with a new baby has reinforced to me how much I don't want one of my own. Every time I hold him my dad says "you need one now". I thought once my bro gave them a gran child that shiitake would stop but it hasn't.

_________________
I sure do love pumpkins, Cotton.

Make up blog: http://love-lipstick.blogspot.com
Food blog: http://alienontoast.blogspot.com
FB Page for both blogs: http://www.facebook.com/lipstickontoast


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 2:12 pm 
Offline
TOTALLY CRADICAL
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:42 am
Posts: 4360
Location: Smugville, CA
baps wrote:
Every time I hold him my dad says "you need one now".


I tried to imagine this from your first-person perspective and my ovaries screamed and shriveled up into miniscule raisins and fell out into my underwear.

_________________
Crazy rating: Double plus crazytown bananapants ~Jordanpattern
"It's, you know, your typical Portland restaurant; bowls." ~Kittee
Sews Before Bros


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 5:41 pm 
Offline
Chip Strong
User avatar

Joined: Thu May 30, 2013 5:31 pm
Posts: 951
Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
baps wrote:

I tried to imagine this from your first-person perspective and my ovaries screamed and shriveled up into miniscule raisins and fell out into my underwear.



I think I've read this 4 or 5 times now, and it never gets old. I hope somebody sigs it, because it's feckin' funny as hell.

_________________
"Well, don't give the chickens cookies, then" -one SassyOh customer, to another SassyOh customer.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 8:48 pm 
Offline
Lubes With Earth Balance
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:15 pm
Posts: 1620
Location: Seattle!
Sigh. A friend and I went to have a picnic lunch at a local lake/park. It wasn't terribly busy, So we chose an empty spot on the fringe of a huge (I mean huge!) grassy area. This family walks by, and the kids (four) start playing four or five feet away from us. Mind you, we're having a wildly inappropriate conversation filled with cursing and references to sex, something I doubt parents would want their young kids to hear. I kind of throw the kids a sidelong look and the mom looks at me and says, "What, have you never seen kids before?" I stared at her and said, "we're having a very adult conversation and I have a very young puppy here. Five and three year olds aren't really known for treating little animals with perfect behavior. There is plenty of space here; they don't need to be four feet from us." She rolled her eyes and said, "oh god, I'm so sorry my children are interfering with your animal. It must be nice being in college." I did actually tell her to fork off at that point- not my finest moment, but my response to her rudeness was polite as could be, so I was uninterested in being polite again to someone who didn't bother showing an ounce of respect.
Seriously lady? Don't make an assumption based on what you perceive my age to be, don't get angry with me for being in a public space first, and don't insult my companion animal, who is teething and ready to bite anything that moves for relief (to boot, she was way better behaved than her children, and she's only nine weeks). I was so floored. Most parents I interact with are so understanding of space and that not everyone is patient and accepting of kids, that this was so gobsmacking to me.

_________________
"Its really hard to keep in shape, my prison of principles only has so much pacing space." - Shy Mox

The Oxford Imposition: http://theoxfordimposition.wordpress.com


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 10:10 pm 
Offline
Flounceiad 2011
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:26 pm
Posts: 5768
Location: A New England
missdelaney wrote:
Sigh. A friend and I went to have a picnic lunch at a local lake/park. It wasn't terribly busy, So we chose an empty spot on the fringe of a huge (I mean huge!) grassy area. This family walks by, and the kids (four) start playing four or five feet away from us. Mind you, we're having a wildly inappropriate conversation filled with cursing and references to sex, something I doubt parents would want their young kids to hear. I kind of throw the kids a sidelong look and the mom looks at me and says, "What, have you never seen kids before?" I stared at her and said, "we're having a very adult conversation and I have a very young puppy here. Five and three year olds aren't really known for treating little animals with perfect behavior. There is plenty of space here; they don't need to be four feet from us." She rolled her eyes and said, "oh god, I'm so sorry my children are interfering with your animal. It must be nice being in college." I did actually tell her to fork off at that point- not my finest moment, but my response to her rudeness was polite as could be, so I was uninterested in being polite again to someone who didn't bother showing an ounce of respect.
Seriously lady? Don't make an assumption based on what you perceive my age to be, don't get angry with me for being in a public space first, and don't insult my companion animal, who is teething and ready to bite anything that moves for relief (to boot, she was way better behaved than her children, and she's only nine weeks). I was so floored. Most parents I interact with are so understanding of space and that not everyone is patient and accepting of kids, that this was so gobsmacking to me.
I'm sorry, but the impression I got from reading your post was that you were the one who initiated the rudeness by giving the kids "a sidelong look" and implying they had no right to be there by virtue of a conversation you chose to have in a public space open to other people. As you point out, the park is a public space, and that woman and her family had every bit as much right to be there as you did, and as much right to respond to your implication that they should go elsewhere to accommodate your conversation and your puppy as you did to expect they'd be "understanding of space and that not everyone is patient and accepting of kids." (Or to suggest she f*ck off, for that matter.)

_________________
I will read all sorts of tripe and am great at suspension of disbelief, but when characters start getting the hots for serial killer ghosts, I'm out. ~ lavawitch
http://elizaveganpage.blogspot.com
http://earlymoderntimes.blogspot.com


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 10:14 pm 
Offline
Lubes With Earth Balance
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:15 pm
Posts: 1620
Location: Seattle!
Don't get me wrong- I get that's it's a public place. I do. And usually, I have zero problem sharing it with children. I didn't give a nasty look- just a glance over to say, "hey, maybe this isn't the best place to pause when there is so much space." However, part of public space is that children and families need to share and respect non-families just as much as I am required to be accepting and respecting of them. That was my issue here.

I did spend four hours calming talking to respectful, polite families and kids as they asked to pet my very patient dog. It isn't like I'm a curmudgeonly bisque out hollering at all families- just the disrespectful ones. I wouldn't go four feet away from anyone who had already staked a place out, especially with so much available space! It just generally seems like a rude thing to do.

_________________
"Its really hard to keep in shape, my prison of principles only has so much pacing space." - Shy Mox

The Oxford Imposition: http://theoxfordimposition.wordpress.com


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 10:50 pm 
Offline
Queen Bitch of Self-Righteous Veganville
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 2:21 pm
Posts: 10872
Location: Illinoize
Honestly, it sounds like you were both rude to each other and the easiest thing you could've done is moved a little bit so you could say shiitake and fork and whatever it is you were saying. I've been in a similar situation before, where I just wasn't up to being next to a group of kids and neither was the person (who actually did have kids) I was with, so we asked our waitress to move us.

_________________
"The Tree is His Penis"

The tree is his penis // it's very exciting // when held up to his mouth // the lights are all lighting // his eyes start a-bulging // in unbridled glee // the tree is his penis // its beauty, effulgent -amandabear


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2014 5:07 am 
Offline
Vegan Since Before There Were Vegetables
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:30 pm
Posts: 10632
Location: Wolfville, Nova Scotia
The new thing people (complete strangers!) are trying on me is "well, you're not going to have anyone to take care of you when you're old!" I swear, it's like illegal to not want kids where we live now. Jay's getting sucked in again: he says he'll have no one to pass on all these collectibles he inherited (old hockey cards, coin collections, nothing worth more than a couple hundred bucks) to, and to that I say "sell them and put the money toward our future cat sanctuary!"

Also, I don't understand why people don't listen to me when I explain that I can't even afford to pay my student loans, let alone pay for baby stuff. I get the "you'll manage" crepe all the time, but what if I don't want to manage? What if I want to save that tiny bit of money I might make and spend it on travel? And a cat sanctuary? And giving to those in need? To people who don't really have the choice to avoid having children? I dunno, if I'm selfish then so be it.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2014 7:34 am 
Offline
Ninja Master
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:00 pm
Posts: 4652
Location: Surrey, UK
Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
baps wrote:
Every time I hold him my dad says "you need one now".


I tried to imagine this from your first-person perspective and my ovaries screamed and shriveled up into miniscule raisins and fell out into my underwear.

hahahah yep that is pretty much how I feel about it too!

_________________
I sure do love pumpkins, Cotton.

Make up blog: http://love-lipstick.blogspot.com
Food blog: http://alienontoast.blogspot.com
FB Page for both blogs: http://www.facebook.com/lipstickontoast


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2014 8:00 am 
Offline
Impressive boner
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:57 pm
Posts: 4181
Location: Nottingham.
dakini wrote:
I'm enjoying reading about everyone's methods of birth control, permanent and otherwise. I've been on the pill for a few years now because it also helps with my PCOS symptoms. I just got health insurance a week ago and I'm looking more seriously into Implanon, the birth control implant. It isn't permanent like Essure but it lasts for three years and is a very minor, noninvasive procedure. Between the pill and my psych meds, my sex drive is less than zero, so I'm hoping the libido loss with the implant is less than the pill.


I had great results with Implanon. My libido didn't suffer at all, my periods stopped and it was sooo convenient and easy.

Sadly in the UK Implanon has now become Nexplanon with barium added to it. When it was time for my impant to be changed out it was replaced with Nexplanon and I started suffering increasing chronic fatigue symptoms, but they were gone within two weeks of it being removed.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2014 2:55 am 
Offline
Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:05 pm
Posts: 1965
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
vijita wrote:
The new thing people (complete strangers!) are trying on me is "well, you're not going to have anyone to take care of you when you're old!"


GREAT ARGUMENT, FOLKS. Seriously, where are these magical children who live to take care of their elderly parents? I sure don't know anyone who spends enough time with their elderly parents to actually help them out much. I think that if you want to make sure that you are being taken care of when you get older, you need to start saving some money. If it's a loneliness issue, people need to realize that if you haven't killed all of your friendships because hanging out with people without children is simply just impossible!, you will probably have friends forever. And even if you live until you're 110 and everyone you know has died, old people can make new friends too.
There is no rule that people without children will have miserable lives when they get older. Just like there is no rule that people with children end up super happy. It's just not an exact science.

On another note, I've had a pretty interesting discussion with quite a few people in the past few years. Here, you are offered a nuchal scan at 14 weeks, in order to test if your child has a big chance of having Down Syndrome. If there is a big chance, you get offered a test to check the chromosomes of the child, so you can make sure and make a decision of whether you want to continue the pregnancy or not. I see this as a great way to make an informed decision that will effect your life immensely. I've met quite a lot of people who find this very ethically wrong. At 18-20 weeks you get offered to check for malformations in the fetus.
Even though the usual limit for abortions is 12 weeks here, that is only if there are no problems with the fetus. If the fetus is tested positive for malformations or Downs, you get the chance to terminate.

The terminology some people use when discussing this is quite appalling. I do not get that people equal "fetus" with "baby". And I do not get that people think that we should just let "nature decide how a child should turn out". Right, because nature is never cruel and we should never use since to our advantage. It's not like it's easy to have a child with Down Syndrome. Yes, people with Down Syndrome can have great lives. Of course you will love your child no matter what. But people with DS also often have very bad heart problems. And it is definitely hard and takes a lot of energy to have a child that may need a lot of help for the rest of their lives. I know for a fact that if I decided that I wanted a child and then I was told my child would have DS, I would terminate. Because it is NOT a baby, it's a fetus with genetic chromosomal defects.
The "best" part is when you're discussing this with parents. Then there is always the argument that "you don't know what it's like, you don't have a child". Right, because I should not have the right to make an informed decision, because I haven't felt the mother-child bond? Also, that argument is definitely not valid; before the test got approved, 60 children were born each year with DS. After, the general # is 23 a year. I doubt that it's only first time mothers making that decision. And even if it was, whatever. People get to decide stuff like this for themselves.

ETA: The WORST is when people compare it to eugenics. UGH. Giving people the right to decide whether they want to terminate a pregnancy where the fetus is not healthy is NOT eugenics.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2014 5:39 am 
Offline
Vegan Since Before There Were Vegetables
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:30 pm
Posts: 10632
Location: Wolfville, Nova Scotia
smoothie wrote:
vijita wrote:
The new thing people (complete strangers!) are trying on me is "well, you're not going to have anyone to take care of you when you're old!"


GREAT ARGUMENT, FOLKS. Seriously, where are these magical children who live to take care of their elderly parents? I sure don't know anyone who spends enough time with their elderly parents to actually help them out much. I think that if you want to make sure that you are being taken care of when you get older, you need to start saving some money. If it's a loneliness issue, people need to realize that if you haven't killed all of your friendships because hanging out with people without children is simply just impossible!, you will probably have friends forever. And even if you live until you're 110 and everyone you know has died, old people can make new friends too.
There is no rule that people without children will have miserable lives when they get older. Just like there is no rule that people with children end up super happy. It's just not an exact science.

I feel you, but it kind of hurts when people try that card on me because my husband and I really did take care of his parents when they were dying, and I intend to do everything I can for my parents. But I don't really give crepe if anyone takes care of me? Is that weird? All I ask is that someone takes care of my animals when I die. You read that here, PPK. If my husband and I die before Lenny and Puddy, they move into a PPK family!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2014 7:30 am 
Offline
WRETCHED
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:54 pm
Posts: 8929
Location: Maryland/DC area
vijita wrote:
smoothie wrote:
vijita wrote:
The new thing people (complete strangers!) are trying on me is "well, you're not going to have anyone to take care of you when you're old!"


GREAT ARGUMENT, FOLKS. Seriously, where are these magical children who live to take care of their elderly parents? I sure don't know anyone who spends enough time with their elderly parents to actually help them out much. I think that if you want to make sure that you are being taken care of when you get older, you need to start saving some money. If it's a loneliness issue, people need to realize that if you haven't killed all of your friendships because hanging out with people without children is simply just impossible!, you will probably have friends forever. And even if you live until you're 110 and everyone you know has died, old people can make new friends too.
There is no rule that people without children will have miserable lives when they get older. Just like there is no rule that people with children end up super happy. It's just not an exact science.

I feel you, but it kind of hurts when people try that card on me because my husband and I really did take care of his parents when they were dying, and I intend to do everything I can for my parents. But I don't really give crepe if anyone takes care of me? Is that weird? All I ask is that someone takes care of my animals when I die. You read that here, PPK. If my husband and I die before Lenny and Puddy, they move into a PPK family!


I don't think it is weird but I figure my husband and I will figure it out. Kids are people with their own lives and own intentions and you never know if they will live just as long as you do or not. My aunt moved in with my grandmother to take care of her and that is usually what happens on my mother's side of the family. I'm sure there will be a point where I'll have to figure out how we take care of both my husband's parents and my parents. My husband has siblings but he is the oldest and I'm the only child.

_________________
You are all a disgrace to vegans. Go f*ck yourselves, especially linanil.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 2128 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69 ... 86  Next

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: dropscone and 10 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Template made by DEVPPL/ThatBigForum and fancied up by What Cheer