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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 2:32 pm 
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Wow, this video has been going around my office and it's a pretty good example of a woman who should have chosen not to have kids. NOBODY HAND THIS WOMAN ANY BABIES.



Warning- this could be really upsetting to anyone with common sense.

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 2:48 pm 
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That is one of the most horrific things I've ever seen. I just, no. Just no. And the 'rebirthing'? No. All of it. I don't know shiitake about babies, but I know not to do that.

Actually my rules for babies are keep them upright, dry, clean, safe, full.

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 2:53 pm 
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It looks like she completely twisted the baby's arm, like 360°.

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 3:00 pm 
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That is horrifying!! I had to stop watching!!!! How on earth could that be deemed safe?!

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 11:48 pm 
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what in the WORLD.

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 4:42 am 
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I guess she doesn't know what an unhappy cry sounds like. he kinda sounded terrified. (I guess I would too)

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 6:46 am 
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That's incredibly disturbing. I couldn't watch past the one minute mark. Who is this woman and why is she doing this and why has no one stepped in and stopped her? WT ever-loving F?

When the video started, with that first scene on the beach, I was sure that was a dummy and not a real baby. But in the next scene it's clearly a real baby.

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 7:36 am 
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lepelaar wrote:
When the video started, with that first scene on the beach, I was sure that was a dummy and not a real baby. But in the next scene it's clearly a real baby.


yeah. i thought that as well, then once i realized it was real i had to turn it off. unbelievable.


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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 8:17 am 
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I like how she guarantees its safe. I couldn't guarantee that I could hold on to an eggplant while throwing it around, let alone a baby

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 8:36 am 
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I watched enough to see mothers watch her and then hand their baby to her. Please don't hand your baby to that lady.

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 3:11 pm 
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I...what did I just see? I can't even formulate a response to this; I had to stop watching when she flipped the baby over her head. How has this woman not been arrested for child endangerment at the very least??

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 3:21 pm 
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I quit watching it when you could clearly hear the baby crying. Horrible!


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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sun Aug 11, 2013 9:27 pm 
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Did anyone read the recent Time article about women choosing not to have kids? it's pretty great to see a mainstream magazine publishing about this topic. 10 years ago it wouldn't have happened. The more it gets talked about, hopefully the less we'll have to be asked why we don't have kids. They mention some of the recent articles posted in this thread but do a decent job of showing things from different angles and talking to people from different backgrounds about what it means to buck conventionality. A great quote that really hits it was "The decision to have a child or not is a private one, but it takes place, in America at least, in a culture that often equates womanhood with motherhood".

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sun Aug 11, 2013 9:58 pm 
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My husband and I talked about having kids in general today because we went to visit my new baby niece. It was nice to visit with his sister and her kids (son and now daughter). Like sometimes I think, are we making the right decision? But I don't have doubts anymore. I really like kids, but I can't imagine having my own and my husband can't either. I know some people like holding babies and although both my husband and myself held our niece while she slept, I figured it was more to give my sister in law a break than anything. There is no pull for me toward having a baby and for that, I'm grateful since my emotional feelings and logical thought process seem to align.

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sun Aug 11, 2013 10:25 pm 
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pandacookie wrote:
Did anyone read the recent Time article about women choosing not to have kids?

I did read some of the articles, but maybe not all of them. I need to take another look. Most of it seemed fair and well written, although, one thing that maybe I missed, is that just because I am not a mother doesn't mean I am not a caregiver, and I find that annoying.

Hence:
Quote:
A great quote that really hits it was "The decision to have a child or not is a private one, but it takes place, in America at least, in a culture that often equates womanhood with motherhood".


Exactly! It can feel like a very lonely (alienating?) decision many a times, in that lonely-in-a-crowd sort of way.

I have absolutely no regrets, but life without children isn't all sunbathing and picnics.


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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 12:46 am 
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That yoga child abuse video made me feel queasy. I couldn't watch it.

I was happy to see the Time article. Not happy to see that cover pic. I'm not sure what they were going for--offensive, ironic, tongue in cheek? It didn't work for me.

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 12:01 pm 
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So, all is well. I was able to talk to the boyfriend in a better setting and we both clarified what we want. I think he realized that I was worried about how his desire to be around kids would affect our relationship, because after about 20 minutes of talking he said "I want to be with you. You're my dream girl."

Basically he just wants an opportunity in his life to interact with kids- whether that means becoming a teacher, or a donor to another woman looking to have a baby, or fostering several years down the line. I am totally okay with all of that, especially as he is not in as big a rush to do it as he made it sound earlier in the week. (After we'd both been drinking)

BTW, have I mentioned that I have the best boyfriend? Because I do. He is smart and funny and really cute and rocks my world.

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 12:06 pm 
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What a relief, Erika Soyf*cker! I know that can be super scary. That was one of the issues Wilson and I had to work through. Actually, the more time he spent around kids, the more he realized that he's done having them! (He has a daughter from his previous marriage, and initially wanted to have more kids.) So maybe if your boyfriend can be a Big Brother or something, he can wear himself out and be thankful that he gets to come home to no children.

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 12:22 pm 
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couroupita wrote:
That yoga child abuse video made me feel queasy. I couldn't watch it.
"Yoga Child Abuse." The fitness craze that's sweeping the nation: combating love handles and overpopulation in one fell swoop of a baby over your head!

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 12:54 pm 
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couroupita wrote:
I was happy to see the Time article. Not happy to see that cover pic. I'm not sure what they were going for--offensive, ironic, tongue in cheek? It didn't work for me.


"People have incredible misconceptions about people who choose to remain child-free!" Like that they spend all their time lazing about sunbathing and eating bonbons. (Bonbons not pictured.) Seriously Time.

Erika, that is such a relief about your guy, and so good that you two got a chance to talk it through.

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 1:39 pm 
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I'm getting scared because I feel like maybe I want a kid? GASP! This has never been me. I worked this wedding last night and it was mostly kids (not the couple, obvs), and they were just so sweet and hilarious and well-behaved and were playing fun games like giant Connect-4 and being silly on the dance floor and it was so refreshing because my life lately has been so serious and rather depressing. It is really refreshing to be around young, silly, creative minds. I feel like my husband and I would make a really rad kid.

Oh god no. I need to read We Have To Talk About Kevin again. Also, I don't like babies. At all.


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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:04 pm 
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Erika, so happy to hear it all got worked out!!

Vijita, I've been there too! For me the feeling passes pretty quickly, but when it happens it can be really overwhelming.

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:25 pm 
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vijita wrote:
Oh god no. I need to read We Have To Talk About Kevin again. Also, I don't like babies. At all.


That is kind of us. We love kids but kids are fun, babies don't seem like fun. That is why when our talks before included adopting, especially a slightly older kid. My sister in law offered to send over her baby to us and I know she was joking but I said it'd have to wait a few years until she was older. For us though, we know we can enjoy kids without having our own.

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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:35 pm 
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YAHOOO ERIKA! This is a great outcome! So happy for you and your best boyfriend!


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 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:40 pm 
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Blergh, my best friend is having a baby in Sept. and is going a little nutty. When I talk to her on the phone, it's baby time. When I see her in person, it's baby time. When she visited me a few weeks ago she would interrupt a conversation with me to text her husband that the baby kicked (she's been kicking for a while now, this is not new!) or how she was feeling. Like every 10 minutes for 3 days she was sending a text!! At our book club yesterday it was half book talk, half baby talk. When I logged into in pinterest last night my whole feed was covered in corny pics of posing babies -- like the stuff where the newborn is asleep and smooshed into a weird position wearing a knit turtle shell on their back, naked newborns with giant flowers pinned to the side of their heads, Anne Geddes stuff, the thing where the mom and dad make their hands into a heart shape around the baby's feet. It's a little much for someone who is just not that into talking about babies 24/7.

I guess I don't understand why some folks think everybody should be as interested in their pregnancy as they are. Maybe it's a weird American tunnel vision thing. Does this happen in other countries?

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