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 Post subject: How would you help a friend?
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 6:16 am 
Saggy Butt
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So, my band just came back from a weekend tour, during which the 16 passenger van (which belonged to our trumpet player) completely died. He had just bought it three months before, and it was the nicest van he's ever owned- just under 100k miles (you can drive them like 500k), only a few years old, the biggest van he's ever had. Obviously it sucked being stuck in the middle of the wilderness of Ohio and trying to figure out how to get 9 people and all our gear home, but it was the worst for him because he's now out of a van and will likely get screwed with how much $ he gets for scrapping the van.

Even worse, bands hire him to drive them on their tours and he has a monthlong gig set up that starts in a few weeks. He obviously feels totally helpless because he doesn't have a van at all, and had just bought that one in cash and it was pretty much all the money he had.

I just don't know how to help him out and i feel like i have to do something. I have enough money saved up that I could lend him to buy a new van and have him pay me back, but i don't really know his finances so intimately that i know how long he'd take to pay me back- my car will likely die within the next year and i want to be able to afford a new one. I'm considering approaching my dad to ask him to set up a small business to business loan for him, but i don't know if my dad would go for it or if my friend would feel comfortable doing so.

Ugh, this is the worst possible situation. He confided more about what was going on in his head to me than to anyone else in the band so I feel like I want to go over and above for him, but I don't know what I could possibly do and I know logically that it is not my responsibility to buy him a new van. blah.


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 Post subject: Re: How would you help a friend?
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 7:28 am 
Semen Strong
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If it were me, I wouldn't lend money to anyone, if you need to be able to get that money back. If you could write it off as a gift if you lose it, then it would be a nice gesture. And I would be very hesitant to involve your Dad.

My personal experience with lending money has not been good. I've gotten the money back from some people, with things getting really weird in the process, as they dodge me or try and come up with excuses etc. And from easily half the people, I just never got the money back. Once a friend insisted I take collateral and gave me a fake piece of jewelry and then disappeared. I know that isn't the case for everyone, but that has been my experience.

You can suggest that your friend sue the seller for the value of the van or try and find a low interest car loan. And if you want to be super-nice then gift him some money towards a down payment.

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 Post subject: Re: How would you help a friend?
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 8:05 am 
WRETCHED
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I'm going to agree with Tofulish, if you ever give money to a friend, consider it a gift if you care about the friendship. You could give it in a pretense of loaning but I wouldn't expect any of the money back. Can your friend get a loan? Does he have any mechanic friends to ask about it? Some mechanics may be willing to do a payment plan, that is definitely something I'd look into if I were him.

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 Post subject: Re: How would you help a friend?
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 8:13 am 
Nailed to the V
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Maybe your band could set up a fundraising event to help him pay for part of it/a down payment.


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 Post subject: Re: How would you help a friend?
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 8:15 am 
Invented Vegan Meringue
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electric_claire wrote:
Maybe your band could set up a fundraising event to help him pay for part of it/a down payment.


I like this idea.

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 Post subject: Re: How would you help a friend?
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 8:59 am 
Trapped On A Desert Island With A Cow
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I was just wondering if the van was bought "as is", from a person or a dealer, was there any kind of warranty, and so on...I don't know how Lemon Laws work, but if the van was still supposed to be good for a while, isn't there some kind of recourse? Or maybe I watch too much Judge Judy..


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 Post subject: Re: How would you help a friend?
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 11:14 am 
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What exactly is wrong with the van? I mean, I've revived my car from a whole host of things (the latest included breaking down in the middle of the freeway during rush hour)...so is it really lost? Just because it broke down doesn't mean it's dead forever. If the repairs are manageable, set up a fund to help him pay for it- if your band has ten people and they regularly use his van, you all should feel inclined to kick in something. That's just polite, as he's always hauling you all around.

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 Post subject: Re: How would you help a friend?
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 6:22 pm 
Saggy Butt
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Basically the van was not salvagable and it was neither the fault of the seller nor anything covered under warranty. While another member was driving, he accidentally knocked it out of drive into second gear and drove for about 2 minutes without noticing. The van was totally overheated, melted pretty much all the electrical stuff and destroyed the entire transmission. When we popped the hood, the coolant was literally boiling and spewing out of the container. It was mostly this guy's fault, but obviously he didn't do it on purpose and didn't mean to, and he feels like the biggest jackass in the world (as is appropriate).
This is the first time this band has actually gone out of town in this van (we went once before in his last van), and we actually pay him for driving time, wear and tear and gas money just like any other band that he drives around.

I also like the idea of a benefit show. i hadn't thought of that.


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 Post subject: Re: How would you help a friend?
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 8:21 pm 
Semen Strong
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Yikes! That is awful. I had no idea that that could happen.

I think the benefit idea is brilliant. Poor guy - what a way to lose your van!

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 Post subject: Re: How would you help a friend?
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 10:10 pm 
Hearts James Cromwell
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benefit show.

you can also consider a kickstarter project. if he's friendly with a lot of different bands, there could be a really wide spectrum of rewards, plus if every band publicizes it, that would help.


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 Post subject: Re: How would you help a friend?
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 10:55 pm 
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I recommend not the kickstart route. They take a cut of money as does amazon and you don't want to put money into the incentives.

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