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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 12:10 am 
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why do you feel like you have to go? i've never gone to an office party; forced socialization is uncomfortable, and i avoid it. i've stayed at work, or i've just gone home. i never felt weird about it until i read this thread.

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:52 am 
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Quarantined wrote:
oh and just to make you feel better, I am bugging because I have to go on a forking teambuilding retreat for 4 whole days with my department and I can't stand the thought of it. Right now I would gladly trade a 5 hour party for that...but yeah it's all relative.


4 days?! Holy mother!

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 5:53 am 
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threads like this make me so happy i no longer work with other people.

if it would effect future employment with these people, i'd find a way to go and to suffer through it- think of England. If it isn't important, I'd be honest and say "it's not for me, sorry. besides, whenever i bowl it makes my carpal tunnel act up."

i would avoid the bar, because i know when i'm anxious and bored together, i can drink enough to make the carpool ride back to the office a nightmare.

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 6:34 am 
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acr wrote:
why do you feel like you have to go? i've never gone to an office party; forced socialization is uncomfortable, and i avoid it. i've stayed at work, or i've just gone home. i never felt weird about it until i read this thread.


Last year a coworker told me I would be perceived as very rude if I didn't attend some new year's shindig. I ultimately wrote the person that sent the invites saying 'if it's ok I'll only be at the reception, as you cannot provide me with anything for dinner'. No reply. So I just went to the reception. I broke off from the group whilst walking to the cafetaria, the guy that sent the invites was telling me he was sure there was enough food. Yes, but I don't want it, and I don't know how many times I still need to explain. Plus I do not desire to see about 20 people chowing down on animals, never mind the smell... The boss mentioned offering a veg* option this year but I bet he's forgotten.

Then, in the summer there was a barbecue which I awkwardly attended, trying to ignore everything. Otherwise I would've been here, as usual, alone and ignored while they were partying it up during the workday.

My boss also told me I isolate myself. I do not, I am pushed into isolation by my location and my inability to leave this location. Pretty sick & tired and not looking forward to any coming 'celebrations'.

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 7:10 am 
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I have an idea! Instead of carpooling, say that you have to drive by yourself because you have friends to visit afterward (or at a certain time) that live near there? Then you have a reason to leave and to drive alone!


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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 7:52 am 
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Ugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I feel your pain. I can't think of anything worse than having to share a hotel room with a colleague.


This is one time when being transgender comes in handy. Nobody will argue with "I'm transgender and so I need to have my own room for personal privacy reasons." I have pulled this off more times than I can count.

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:05 am 
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I don't understand why companies waste money on "forced fun". Doesn't everyone hate it? I like Meggs' idea.

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 12:35 pm 
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I've always hated it when companies trick you into going to the staff party because they hold them during work hours. I cut off all xmas parties at my last job, I was not going to put myself through that suffering anymore. One thing I've realized over the years, as much as people say they want you to attend events, most often no one will notice if you're not there.


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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 1:46 pm 
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Haha you guys are funny. I especially love the 'think of England' advice, bc I'm taking all my accrued off days over New Years and going there, to visit my bf.

As for the rest of the advice, I wish I could do what Meggs et al. said but I don't drive! Also I feel like I have to go bc I'm new (started in September) and sense that I'm still under a provisionary period or something. With that said, I should get off the PPK about now!

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 1:51 pm 
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I was considering going to mine because I do like a few people I work with, knowing the only option I would probably have would be salad until I emailed the person in charge of it a little while ago.

Me: Do you know if there are going to be any vegan options?
Her: I know there will be salad. If you went last year, I think it is the same buffet menu.
Me: Oh, I wasn't able to go last year, do you remember what the buffet had?
Her: I have no idea.

Wow. Thanks for even offering to look into it for me.........I've asked a few coworkers if they remember but everyone gets so wasted that they forget. Luckily, not only do they not have vegan options, I have to to be at the airport at 4:00 am the next morning to pick up my sister, so that alone is a good enough excuse to not go.

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:00 pm 
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I can really empathize with everyone who dislikes or is uncomfortable around their co-workers, because I spent years working alongside people I truly loathed. Now, I'm at a job where I love my co-workers so much that I spend all year looking forward to our Christmas party because it's the only time it's socially acceptable for me to hug them.
We're doing the company-wide party next Saturday. The buffet is going to have samosas; I'm hoping they're vegan because they're the only vegetarian thing on the menu other than plain baked potatoes.
Long lunch at bd's Mongolian Grill with only my department is scheduled for the Wednesday after.
After the departmental lunch, I have been tasked with arranging a departmental dinner, which is going to be tough because everyone's out on vacation. Last year's dinner was at Buca di Beppo, which was clearly not my first choice, but the waitstaff were really, really nice, and went out of their way to make me some plain spaghetti and garlicky green beans fried in olive oil instead of butter.

If my party was at a bowling alley, I'd skip the bowling and hang out in the arcade.

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:19 pm 
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One year my company had an evening christmas party with food, drinks, dancing, etc. It was free.

Catch?

No guests invited.

So... I'm supposed to go to an evening which includes dancing and no guests are invited?

I don't know anyone that went.

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:30 pm 
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linanil wrote:
One year my company had an evening christmas party with food, drinks, dancing, etc. It was free.

Catch?

No guests invited.

So... I'm supposed to go to an evening which includes dancing and no guests are invited?

I don't know anyone that went.

ew, you were supposed to dance with your colleagues?

I don't know why these companies would ever think I want to spend more that 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, with my colleagues. And I don't even want to spend that much time!

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:34 pm 
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VeganFoodRocks wrote:
I was considering going to mine because I do like a few people I work with, knowing the only option I would probably have would be salad until I emailed the person in charge of it a little while ago.

Me: Do you know if there are going to be any vegan options?
Her: I know there will be salad. If you went last year, I think it is the same buffet menu.
Me: Oh, I wasn't able to go last year, do you remember what the buffet had?
Her: I have no idea.

Wow. Thanks for even offering to look into it for me.........I've asked a few coworkers if they remember but everyone gets so wasted that they forget. Luckily, not only do they not have vegan options, I have to to be at the airport at 4:00 am the next morning to pick up my sister, so that alone is a good enough excuse to not go.

What the hell? I'm glad you don't have to go!

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:44 pm 
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That sounds rough, RandiJM! I don't think you should feel obligated to attend, even if you are fairly new to the company. Is there the possibility that this will last longer than a regular work day? You could say that you don't have the necessary transportation to get your there alone and that you don't want to withdraw anyone from the party to get you home.

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 3:02 pm 
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On the plus side, I don't mind spending a few hours with my coworkers. On the minus side, they're ordering pizza from a place with butter in the crust and beef broth in the sauce, so I'm being offered salad. Or I can work out something on my own and sneak it into the bowling alley where outside food (except this animal-tastic pizza) isn't allowed, then expense it. We'll see how that goes.

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 3:54 pm 
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I am beginning to become enraged at the constant misconception that salad = food. I don't even like salad (rare exceptions excepted). I juice salad greens (x10); I don't eat them. One sad little salad is not a meal. BAH.


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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 5:53 pm 
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Fee wrote:
I'd call in sick that day.


This would be my solution. This might be my solution.


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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 6:15 pm 
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Who has dancing but no guests??!! That is insane!

I talked to a woman I sit near today, asking if everyone usually goes or should go. She said no one even notices anyone or lets anything get awkward bc everyone gets drunk. Which is funny. She also said she and a few people took a cab last year and just left when they wanted to in a cab, so I feel a little better about it. Glad I don't have to dance with anyone there (I don't think...)

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 9:55 pm 
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RandiJM wrote:
I know, I know, I have to. But I am really uncomfortable just thinking about it! I have absolutely no one to talk to at this place, no one my age; the people I work closely with are 30-50 years older than me; I get really anxious in uncomfortable social situations; it's at a freaking bowling alley; I will have no one to talk to; it's like 5 hours of discomfort. K now I'm just complaining but dayum I really don't want to go. But obviously I have to bc guess what - it's on a weekday afternoon. So it's not like I can have other plans, bc the other plans for that day would be working in the office! Ughhhh.



Last year our office party my bosses assistant asked people for ideas about where to go for the holiday party- and I said that I didn't really care as long as there were some vegan options.

So of course it was at a steakhouse "don't worry suzy I am sure they will have some type of salad"

The food was served "family style", which meant that I got to spend 3 hours sitting next to (and smelling) a big plate piled with steaks while sitting across the table from one of the secretaries who is convinced that I "never eat".

I then didn't help matters by politely refusing the beer (I don't drink).

But the worst part was that I just don't know what to talk to my co-workers about.

Their kids?

I totally suck at making small talk especially when I don't want to be some place.

But Randi I have also had to go to office bowling parties- and coped by making up some story about having a bad back so that I could just sit there and pretend to watch.

I am just so much fun.

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 10:05 pm 
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Yeah what the fizzle do I talk to coworkers about!!! Most of the secretaries there keep asking me if I have kids or if I want them. And I'm like...really?? You don't even know my name and you're asking me this stuff?

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 10:11 pm 
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choirqueer wrote:
This is one time when being transgender comes in handy. Nobody will argue with "I'm transgender and so I need to have my own room for personal privacy reasons." I have pulled this off more times than I can count.

Pshaw! I am calling you on it next time. 'I have to share a room with someone who is transgender because we have to eat cookies and re-enact the battle cry from Henry V. Oh the English! Onward!'

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 10:21 pm 
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pandacookie wrote:
we have to eat cookies and re-enact the battle cry from Henry V. Oh the English! Onward!'


Sounds like THE BEST NIGHT EVER

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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 10:27 pm 
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i've never been to a work christmas party, but i imagine if i ever do go to one it would be awful. i am the worst in social situations! so i would probably just not go, and if anyone asked i would just either say i don't like parties or come up with some fake reason. or i would go just to show up then leave after 10 minutes.


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 Post subject: Re: Do I have to go to the office Christmas party?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 11:01 pm 
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the last office i worked in i called in sick to the office xmas party because i hated everyone there a lot! and then i got fired a month later!

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