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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 7:40 am 
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BAD PASS
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Location: NW Indiana/Chicago
I am so tired. I can't sleep because I'm so worried about Mavis and the vet bills* and, just money in general. Counting the days until payday, wondering how much more the next treatment is going to cost, worried she'll get too excited by squirrels or the neighbors' constantly barking dogs while I'm at work and die. Seriously -- I think I'm the only one in a two block radius who thinks it's inappropriate to let your dog just sit out in the yard and bark non-stop. They were out on two sides of us this morning before daylight, and Mavis runs from one window to the other, looking for them, when she's supposed to have zero activity. She's not allowed any excitement or physical activity at all, ...and she's actually doing pretty well for such an active dog.

But I am not. I am a wreck. I want to take a little more time off to stay with her, but I'm saving my days off for when she goes in for round two on the 14th. So now I'm sitting at work with a bunch of ridiculous emails that matter so little that I don't know how to respond to them, and an officemate who hasn't spoken to me in two weeks (?), but constantly mutters to himself and whistles all day, not a tune, just a very high-pitched shrill sound. I just want to go home and snuggle with Mave.

*I requested a replacement credit card, since when I paid it off, I cut it in half and threw it away. I will feel better knowing I have that just in case I need it for the vet bills.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 10:18 am 
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Flat Chesty McNoBoobs
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I'm sorry, Holly. That sounds really stressful.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 11:43 am 
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I'm really sorry Hollie. That must be so rough. :(

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 11:56 am 
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Sorry, Hollie.

Is there any chance you could work from home at least an hour or two a day? Maybe paperwork and emails? Your bosses sound like they really value you, so maybe they would be willing to be flexible for a while?

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 12:52 pm 
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Thanks, everyone.

I can't really do much work from home, other than answering emails and possibly ordering stuff, but I am able to go home at lunch. I went to check on her, and of course she was fine. She went out to pee and came right back in, then I gave her some frozen wet food crammed inside a marrow bone's cram-hole.

I also found a Roku channel called something like "The Dog Relaxation Channel," ...it was playing Mozart and showing pictures of puppies in teacups. I left it on when I came back to work. I'm sure she's super into it. haha.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 6:29 pm 
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Hollie, I don't remember if this came up when you adopted her, but is she crate trained? If so you might want to crate her when you're not home to be sure she's not bouncing around too much. It really, really sucks to do but in the long run can keep her safe.

If she's not good in a crate them disregard this public service announcement.

Also, that all really really sucks and I'm sorry you're having to go through all of this.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 7:14 pm 
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Unfortunately, she likens the crate with pure torture and flips out if I put her in it. It's currently just the toy/bone storage. I should probably just get a little basket for that stuff and put the crate in the basement, really.

I did start leaving my bedroom door open so she can chill on my bed, which she's usually not allowed to do when I'm not home (she sometimes decides to eat my shoes, and remove/hide my pillowcases). She loves the new mattress and is down to sleep on it whenever she can.

Thanks Casper!


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 7:57 pm 
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Ah, then crate in the basement it is!

I guess *everyone* loves Casper mattresses. Does she listen to podcasts too?

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2016 3:47 pm 
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I had to call up my city's offices and let them know that my dog for whom they're sending a license renewal passed away in July. :(

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2016 4:28 pm 
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I'm sorry. Dealing with that sort of thing is a special kind of hell.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 10:06 am 
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My oven has decided to stop working. Which in most cases is just a pesky little thing. But right now, vyapti is studying for a big test, Shorty is working in two productions and I am working over 60 hours a week. So no one has time to address this.

And of course because I'm so stressed, I am now convinced that the house will catch fire. (It's totally anxiety brain, I understand that)

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 2:22 pm 
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I've been in Memphis for four days and it's time to go home.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 11:14 am 
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I was looking at dumb things on the innerwebz before going to sleep, as you do, and found a page with of bunch of articles about dogs. Most of them were cute but then one of them was about a groomer at a chain pet store who'd been charged with animal cruelty after a dog in his care died. It just made me feel so awful and I hate to wake up my dogs to squeeze them tightly and banish thoughts of them being hurt by a stranger from my head. They were kinda grumpy about that, I'M SORRY GUYS BUT I NEEDED TO SQUEEZE YOU. So then I had to stay up later and watch stupid cartoons to try and stop thinking about it.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 11:25 am 
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It took me nearly 2 hours to drive 17 miles to work today. And I was 30 minutes late for a meeting that I'm frequently late to because of unpredictable traffic. What with multi million dollar shitty tract homes we can't afford and hours long commutes I'm thinking I might want to leave the area. I don't really want to move but I feel like our quality of life really sucks and we have the resources to move so maybe we just should.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 2:23 pm 
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My partner's work clashed with mine so I had to rearrange my lesson... Only I couldn't get through to them by phone so had to send an email. They've just replied to tell me they don't want to hire me any more because I was also ill last week. I hate it when my partner's work makes me unreliable, but someone has to look after our son.

My partner is super super late so I'm going to be over 2 hours late for this social thing I'm going to with other postgrads at my uni, where I don't forking know anyone so I'm going to feel really awkward. Even more awkward than if I'd been able to show up on damn time.

Because of the above I just burst into tears and cried for a while.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 5:05 pm 
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Student who hasn't showered in weeks. I can't say more, but it's a serious situation and we are begging for help. We aren't going to get it; none of the other interventions have ever been successful.

I feel like a crasshole because I don't want to go near this student, who is a sweet kid. He isn't able to work independently at all. Apparently he really likes us and as a result is coming to school much more than ever before.

I am not a good, noble person. I can't work someone who smells like feces and urine and more. I know my own shortcomings. I will always treat people kindly, I hope, and I am truly glad this student likes us and feels welcomed by us, but I can't overcome my personal feelings of revulsion to give this student all the close attention he needs.

Someone like my mom would be an angel and sincere, but all I can do is pretend.

The real worst part is just how angry I am that this kid is being failed on so many levels. I am scared for his future. He isn't low enough for the moderate/severe programs and not high enough for the other programs, so nobody wants to deal with him. Including me because I'm a crasshole.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 5:17 pm 
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lavawitch wrote:
Student who hasn't showered in weeks.


That's a really sad and awful situation for everyone involved. I understand your conflicting emotions, as I have similar encounters where I work. It's difficult to balance compassion and self-preservation, and the fact that you feel guilty about your revulsion (which is not something to feel guilty about, it's a perfectly natural response as a result of millions of years of evolution for survival) only underlines that you have compassion for the situation.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 5:32 pm 
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Thanks for the support. I always feel compassion shouldn't be conditional; I'm know I'm not living up to that here.

Usually with hygiene cases, we can help with gift cards, supplies, services, so it's temporary. This is just getting harder to deal with by the day.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 10:23 pm 
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LW, you aren't super woman and you can't be expected to be able to deal perfectly with every situation that comes to you. It is truly terrible that the student can't get any assistance because he isn't quite bad enough. Just awful. I think as long as you acknowledge to yourself that you're doing the best you can under the circumstances, that's all you can do. A lot of other people would probably just kick him out or make him feel bad about himself. You are not doing that so you are already doing wonderful things for him.

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Dwarf-tossing for God: A Story of Hope - Invictus
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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2016 11:14 pm 
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Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
It's difficult to balance compassion and self-preservation


So much this. I think it's like the call to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you try and help someone else. It doesn't help anyone if you burn out as a teacher and a helper - better for you to create some boundaries to be able to remain strong for all those people you help. You're awesome and you do great work, and you truly care about people. Don't hold yourself to a superhuman standard, especially not if it ends up with you not taking care of yourself. http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/03/ ... -on-first/

Sending many good thoughts and hoping the system steps up to help the student

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2016 12:21 am 
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aw, LW, i experience stuff like that all the time at work. there was a patient i had been visiting in my off hours because we have a lot of similar interests, but then during work he started exhibiting some severe psychological issues that i'm just not equipped to deal with and i haven't been spending extra time with him anymore because I'm nervous to be around him. I feel awful about that. I'm super sensitive to smells too, so if I go in to talk to a smelly person if there's nothing WRONG that a nurse should be dealing with, I usually talk faster and try to get out of there rather than spending my normal amount of time assessing them. It sounds like you're doing external stuff to try to get him for him....so don't beat yourself up about not doing EVERYTHING. You're doing something even if it's not helping immediately and that's probably a lot more than he's experienced from other people.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2016 6:16 am 
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Agreed. And if it's a serious loophole in the system, and you have the energy, write President Obama or your state legislature.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2016 9:49 am 
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It's not so much a loophole as that any real solution would involve removing him from the home and a parent unable to provide adequate care due to disabilities of their own that are similar.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2016 1:00 pm 
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Moving To Sheepshead Bay
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It sounds like student and parent both need support from the state / non-profit, and some serious TLC. All the feels, lw.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2016 3:02 pm 
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Lavawitch, I also feel guilty when I don't offer all I feel I should. In my case, I have trouble being more than superficially friendly with a family member affected by mental illness. Over the years, I've had to learn to accept my limits, protect myself and just keep making small efforts when I feel up to it.

Today I quit my second job in three weeks. This time because the job made the tendinitis in my fingers worse (I've had the problem for a year, so not much hope of getting rid of it, and it gets harder to think what type of job I could do). The first time because I was required to lie to allergic (and/or vegan) customers about an (animal) allergen in a small company's products. (I'm not giving details, I wish to avoid trouble - another instance in which I could be more heroic, but I am not).

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