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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 9:18 pm 
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Heeeerrrrree's JACKY!
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Jean, my heart is with you now.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 10:09 pm 
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Thank you so much everyone for your sympathies and kind words.

R.O. I'm sorry you've experienced a similar loss, your offer was very thoughtful.

Thanks everyone, I'm really touched. I feel a bit crummy for dumping this, she was after all not a relative or even a close friend outside of work - but it still feels like such a terrible loss.

*hugs everyone.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 9:40 am 
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Huge hugs, jean. And remember, you are allowed to feel the way you feel. It's ok if you weren't close. It's shocking and tragic. Please take extra care of yourself right now.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 9:49 am 
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ndpittman wrote:
Huge hugs, jean. And remember, you are allowed to feel the way you feel. It's ok if you weren't close. It's shocking and tragic. Please take extra care of yourself right now.



Agreed. On every count. (hugs)

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 4:41 pm 
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My mom has a bad habit of saying things in a manner that are really insensitive to my feelings. Today she visited briefly while in the area having lunch with a friend, and was talking about taking a trip with my dad, who was diagnosed with the early stages of Alzheimer's a few months ago. I cannot believe she actually said this: "we want to get it done while your father still has brain cells left." I immediately said, "hey, that's a really nice way to talk about my father." She dismissed it and I added, "I'm just saying, I'm his daughter, keep that in mind when you're picking the language you use."

She muttered something under her breath about a "delicate flower."

fork you too, mom. I know I'm a horrible monster person for suppressing YOUR feelings about how YOU feel about YOUR husband's illness impacting YOUR life. Yes, it's a real tragedy what my dad's chronic and ultimately fatal illness is doing to YOU.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 5:27 pm 
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Ugh, apparently my beagle is a mouser. He caught his second mouse (it was outside) within a couple months. I'll spare details but I wish he was more of an observer.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 6:26 pm 
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torque wrote:
the way i read was that the employee might have to "pay" by dealing with a grumpy boss, or having to find a solution, not actually pay with money or any equivalent.

running a business involves risk. mistakes happen and have to be written off. luckily your mistake was just a financial loss to the company and not a loss of life or limb (these mistakes also happen as part of work, people feel terrible, but they're still honest mistakes, like you said). The boss will chew you out, and you will remember and hopefully never make the same mistake again.
i also think that you paying it back, in any way, is not a fair solution. [and remember: there may be some solution to this problem that you haven't considered. suggested reading by de Maupassant: http://www.bartleby.com/195/20.html ]
I can only hope that you accidentally ordered $500 worth of animal onesies that can't be returned.

I wish that were it! I work at a mortgage company. I placed an order for an appraisal that ended up being performed by someone who was on our (new) investor bank's blacklist. I should have checked that before placing the order, but I didn't because this appraiser has completed several appraisals for my company so far this year (submitted to different investors), and it didn't even occur to me that he might be blacklisted. So they wouldn't accept that appraisal after it had already been completed, and we had to order a new one.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 10:49 pm 
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Worst thing is tied up with my best. Thing that I sawed so much wood for ended up turning into a really frustrating thing where my manager is now really doubting this idea we had together. After I've spent about $150, not including the saw, on. And after I've cut almost double the amount of wood, because it was going to double the depth, but in her last-minute doubting I came to a compromise on the dimensions. I am totally fine with the new depth, but ugh my back is wishing I had came to that compromise before cutting all the wood.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 3:24 am 
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I had a dream that I was a contestant on Big Brother but managed to escape from the house and almost instantly my personal details were all over the Daily Fail's website and later I found a thread on a London sub-forum on the PPK where people were saying awful things about me.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 9:57 am 
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Had an interview at a place I really really wanted a job at, and I feel like I bombed it. I was so nervous that I stumbled and sounded so stupid as I was explaining my portfolio, and the entire contents of my purse dumped out when I set it down on the chair and it fell. Also it's hot outside so I showed up sweaty and gross. I'd be very surprised if I heard anything back. :(

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 10:39 am 
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I trimmed the goat hooves this morning. Which is great, except that my hands are going to smell pooey for the rest of the day.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 11:50 am 
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I went to animal control this morning (in and of itself always depressing) and saw the new cat adoption room. They've gone from around 50 cages to 24 (there is another room they haven't renovated yet but it's smaller and it will be renovated.) Which means fewer cats in adoptions which means more cats in holding that will have to be moved elsewhere and that elsewhere usually isn't good.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 12:25 pm 
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Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
My mom has a bad habit of saying things in a manner that are really insensitive to my feelings. Today she visited briefly while in the area having lunch with a friend, and was talking about taking a trip with my dad, who was diagnosed with the early stages of Alzheimer's a few months ago. I cannot believe she actually said this: "we want to get it done while your father still has brain cells left." I immediately said, "hey, that's a really nice way to talk about my father." She dismissed it and I added, "I'm just saying, I'm his daughter, keep that in mind when you're picking the language you use."

She muttered something under her breath about a "delicate flower."

fork you too, mom. I know I'm a horrible monster person for suppressing YOUR feelings about how YOU feel about YOUR husband's illness impacting YOUR life. Yes, it's a real tragedy what my dad's chronic and ultimately fatal illness is doing to YOU.
Yow; that's really tough. You're astute to recognize that your mother's brusque, insensitive language reflects the degree to which it's all about her, but based on my own experience I'm guessing that she's also whistling in the dark because she doesn't want to face her scarier feelings about the situation. My mother was exactly like that; in fact, I can actually hear her making that "delicate flower" remark. Her inability to face/process/analyze her own issues about things often manifested itself in the type of language and behavior you describe. (Seriously, based on some of your stories I'd think we were sisters if she hadn't passed away 3 years ago!) Years of therapy enabled me to recognize and identify her behavior as a reflection of her own anxieties, insecurities, and perceived inadequacies, and even to understand (to some extent) why she said such things, but that understanding still didn't take away her behavior's capacity to hurt my feelings. Knowing that someone is about to push your buttons doesn't necessarily equate to an ability to resist twitching, or remove the hurt and confusion we feel at them wanting to push those buttons in the first place. One way I found of coping with it was just to remind myself that she would probably change the day after the world ends, so the best I could do was tell her in simple, declarative, non-snarky sentences when I found something hurtful or offensive. If she dropped a "delicate flower" comment in reply, I'd simply reiterate that what she'd said wasn't okay, and that I didn't have to listen to it, and if she wanted the conversation to continue she'd have to cut the shiitake (I'm paraphrasing), especially in my home. I loved my mother, but she could be a very difficult and challenging person, and the fact that she happened to have raised me didn't make her any easier to deal with.

Anyway, I'm very sorry about your father, and that your family is looking down the barrel of what I know is a difficult time; I hope you can find ways of looking after yourself emotionally and dealing effectively with your mom as the situation progresses. Please know that I'm thinking of you.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 4:43 pm 
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ashley wrote:
torque wrote:
the way i read was that the employee might have to "pay" by dealing with a grumpy boss, or having to find a solution, not actually pay with money or any equivalent.

running a business involves risk. mistakes happen and have to be written off. luckily your mistake was just a financial loss to the company and not a loss of life or limb (these mistakes also happen as part of work, people feel terrible, but they're still honest mistakes, like you said). The boss will chew you out, and you will remember and hopefully never make the same mistake again.
i also think that you paying it back, in any way, is not a fair solution. [and remember: there may be some solution to this problem that you haven't considered. suggested reading by de Maupassant: http://www.bartleby.com/195/20.html ]
I can only hope that you accidentally ordered $500 worth of animal onesies that can't be returned.

I wish that were it! I work at a mortgage company. I placed an order for an appraisal that ended up being performed by someone who was on our (new) investor bank's blacklist. I should have checked that before placing the order, but I didn't because this appraiser has completed several appraisals for my company so far this year (submitted to different investors), and it didn't even occur to me that he might be blacklisted. So they wouldn't accept that appraisal after it had already been completed, and we had to order a new one.

Update on this: my boss was super pissed, but not at me. I took responsibility but he still insisted it was the investor's fault. Not the case. He called our rep and chewed her out anyway while I was in the room. So now I'm feeling bad about that.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 4:49 pm 
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Well, you did what you could. You can't be responsible for other people's reactions. You apologized and took responsibility, not much else to do. Glad it played out this way and not worse.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 1:45 am 
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my headache is getting progressively worse. it's almost at the point where I really can't justify doing longer/harder bike rides, as it completely destroys the rest of my day. which, for so many reasons, completely sucks. no end in sight, either :/

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 3:37 am 
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Either both of my old macbooks are broken or both of my cables are. Or all of the 4. Even a cable is 50 euros, urgh.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 10:02 am 
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Hearts James Cromwell
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My boyfriend has until the 1st of September to have everything out of his apartment and into the new one, so we have been taking our time moving his stuff this month. Yesterday we went to his old apartment he is moving out of and they had thrown all his stuff that was still there away. They also had been running his air conditioner and had all of his lights on (which he still has to pay for). The apartment had been ripped apart. He got no notice of this. What the fork should we do? He had 5 days left there before he had to be out.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 10:19 am 
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junkyardblues wrote:
My boyfriend has until the 1st of September to have everything out of his apartment and into the new one, so we have been taking our time moving his stuff this month. Yesterday we went to his old apartment he is moving out of and they had thrown all his stuff that was still there away. They also had been running his air conditioner and had all of his lights on (which he still has to pay for). The apartment had been ripped apart. He got no notice of this. What the fork should we do? He had 5 days left there before he had to be out.


It depends. Who did the tearing up and using? If it was the landlord... document everything. And if there was stuff of value, maybe call the police. If he still had possession of the apartment and they (the landlords if that is who did it) it could be theft.

I really have no patience for crappy landlords.

The story is a little different if there were roommates.
But start with photographing and documenting EVERYTHING.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 10:21 am 
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joshua wrote:
my headache is getting progressively worse. it's almost at the point where I really can't justify doing longer/harder bike rides, as it completely destroys the rest of my day. which, for so many reasons, completely sucks. no end in sight, either :/


Uch, I'm sorry dude, that really does suck.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 12:03 pm 
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Hearts James Cromwell
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kfad wrote:
junkyardblues wrote:
My boyfriend has until the 1st of September to have everything out of his apartment and into the new one, so we have been taking our time moving his stuff this month. Yesterday we went to his old apartment he is moving out of and they had thrown all his stuff that was still there away. They also had been running his air conditioner and had all of his lights on (which he still has to pay for). The apartment had been ripped apart. He got no notice of this. What the fork should we do? He had 5 days left there before he had to be out.


It depends. Who did the tearing up and using? If it was the landlord... document everything. And if there was stuff of value, maybe call the police. If he still had possession of the apartment and they (the landlords if that is who did it) it could be theft.

I really have no patience for crappy landlords.

The story is a little different if there were roommates.
But start with photographing and documenting EVERYTHING.

It was definitely the landlord who did all of this. Well, they hired the maintenance men to do it. We took photographs of the apartment yesterday. He is going up to the office to talk to the landlords today.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 3:18 pm 
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I lost the rosary beads that my aunt gave me for my First Communion. I usually sleep with them since she died and then days were I'm feeling extra low I carry them around and they comfort me. Today was one of those days because of stuff that happened last night. At the end of my day at work I was at the bank machine getting money and when I put my hand in my pocket to hold them they were gone. So upset.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 6:08 pm 
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daisychain - I'm really sorry you lost something so important to you. When I lost a necklace my mother gave me I cried so hard and was basically irreconcilable for 24 hours. Do you think there's any chance you still might find them?


I have so many things right now. I am way behind on two projects at work and the deadlines are looming, on top of that my husband and I have to be moved into our new apartment two days before the work deadlines. We've barely started packing. I'm laid up from running with an injury, and barely have time for yoga, which I really should make time for since it makes me feel less stressed and anxious. Oh, and I woke up terrible pain in my chest, and symptoms of an ulcer! So now I'm always hungry and not exercising. Ha.

Then on top of feeling the above, I get a hospital bill for over $1000 today for that time I went to the hospital for not-appendicitis. I am just so forking frustrated right now and I feel like stuff keeps piling on. I know that everything will be okay, but I've just completely had it and really need the next few weeks to be over.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 6:14 pm 
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(((hugs))) daisychain. You might still find them?

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 7:29 pm 
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My granny just got diagnosed with multiple myeloma (cancer of the plasma cells).

She had surgery for lung cancer four years ago, is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's, and is 87 years old. I feel really guilty for wishing she could just pass on, but right now she is miserable and her mind is gone, and it's been so hard for my mom to take care of her (my parents built her a house next to theirs a few years ago). She's my mom's only living family member, but in a way my granny is already gone and taking care of her in her current state is almost worse than being able to just get on and grieve the loss.

This just sucks.

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