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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 10:43 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Mauled cat at the vet, car in the shop, baby in the E.R.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 11:02 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
Mauled cat at the vet, car in the shop, baby in the E.R.

That is quite the shitstorm! I hope it all ends up okay!

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 11:17 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Thanks! It was exhausting, but the cat and kid are both recovering (and on abx) and the car has been fixed. It was really just a shitstorm.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 11:57 pm 
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Oh no, Tofulish, that sounds like a horrible day. I'm glad everything turned out okay!


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 6:41 am 
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what was a normal, uneventful Obama Address (i mean really, nothing that wasn't already chewed over on the news, lots of unpleasant images but sadly that is what happens when people use chemical and also conventional weapons on citizenry) spawned a total alternate-universe Chicken Little event in my house. The usual suspect watched it (first mistake) and consequently understood that [i need to italicize this so you can understand how bizarre my life is] Obama was publicly bullying Russia and as a result the address was a read-between-the-lines announcement that we are going to go to war with Russia to celebrate 9/11. At least one hour last night was required to convince said unnamed person that we are not all going to get nuked and that we didn't have to go out to buy gas masks and iodine pills.
Politically, I am a negative-nellie. They're all liars and manipulative crooks, as far as i see it. I like Obama but I don't have any illusions about the teeny little bit of power he has. I am pessimistic and perhaps elitist in my views of how the average citizen really doesn't know or care what the government does. but it really got me last night to see that an unemployed person suffering directly from illnesses she can't treat because of our convoluted healthcare system, even after thinking that the president was leading us into nuclear war over a place she had never heard of, would still maintain that america is the best place on earth, the government has the purest of intentions, and that everybody else is pretty much just a bunch of subhumans.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 11:14 am 
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poopiebitch wrote:
Mars wrote:
Ugh is this what sexual harassment feels like?

I'm really sorry, but yes. I would definitely consider that behavior "unwelcome verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature". It's a really shitty situation, but since it is affecting you in such a negative way I would definitely either talk to her about it (if that's something you feel comfortable doing), or talk to a superior about it.

((((((HUGS)))))))


Yup.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 11:43 am 
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I just came down after waking up very late (cramps) to find my front door open. I checked it before bed and thought it was locked, but maybe I was wrong. No one would even get in the front door (but apparently the postman was able to leave a package) without the dogs making a huge fuss and since my computer is still here and so is my wallet, I don't think anyone actually came in the house but it still really weirds me out. WHY WAS THE DOOR OPEN.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 11:44 am 
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Luckily I don't see her often but next time she acts familiar with me I'll definitely bring it up. I almost did last week after that last thing, but by the time I was finished standing there really confused for a minute she was off in the back stock somewhere and I didn't see her again that day. So weird!

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 11:50 am 
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My father is an alcoholic and last week was the first week he tried to be sober. He ended up drinking again, my mother smelling it on him and him saying he didn't want to stop because he could always stop anyway since his blood levels are fine and he can go days without drinking if he wants. And since he could always stop he won't.

Such a bullshiitake. As a former druggie the lies are so obvious and I feel such a mixed bag of emotions of shame, sadness, betrayal, fear.

I sometimes really think I need to stop being in contact with him but I could never do this to my mother :(

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 1:00 pm 
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More dealing with my sisters tumor. She is refusing the pre-op counseling that is required. Which may mean that there is no surgery.

Dealing with my poor mother who takes my sisters wrath. Reminding my mom that she is not alone. And that my sister is a grown woman. Her cognitive abilities are not affected and she can make decisions we don't like.

Two hours on the phone this morning and limited resolution. Breath in and breath out.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 2:02 am 
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That sounds really hard, kfad. (So many hugs!)

Mom wrote and wants me to fly to CA asap (for grandma -- whom, honestly, I think I would miss seeing alive again, even if I were on the earliest flight out of A'dam today -- and for mom/sister, who need support). I don't want to go. I really, really do not want to fly. If it were even 8 hours by train, 18, fine, whatever. I don't want to fly, I have done too many long haul trips in the past 3 years. I don't feel pressured about having to go. I'm thinking, rather, about how support is easier in person, and how my mom/sister need community grieving and talking and etc. to process this kind of stuff (which I'd rather do alone), and thinking that I am missing the chance to help them with that sucks (but I still don't want to fly).

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 8:58 am 
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Semen Strong
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My Dad can make me feel like shiitake in under a minute. And they are coming to stay with us in 2.5 weeks.

He got annoyed with me on his birthday (I hadn't sent a card because I thought he was in the hospital in a coma, and no one bothered to tell me he was home) and hung up on me telling me that I didn't care about him. So I didn't call him again for 6 weeks - in part because life got stressful. So today he calls and leaves a nasty message that I am selfish and don't care about him. He called while I was trying to wash my cat, give him antibiotics and hand feed him in the aftermath of him being attacked by two dogs, while at the same time dealing with my daughter who had just slipped and smashed her lip on a chair and is just getting over a UTI. So of course, I couldn't answer the phone.

He is going to be in NYC tomorrow, and I am going to have to see him and deal with a mountain of whining. And then he and his wife are going on a cruise after which they will stay with us for 5 days to meet their grand-daughter, during which time I am sure they will make sure to tell me everything I am doing wrong. He is 78 and in poor health, and I know he is going to die soon, so I want to have some attempt at saying goodbyes, but I am finding it really stressful to constantly feel like I am a terrible person for not catering to his needs, when he has not been a major part of my life for 25 years at this point.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 9:47 am 
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That is the kind of crepe that made me cut off contact with my biological father although I am more cold hearted. I felt sorry for him for a few years so kept in contact but then I was done.

As far as my worst thing, I discovered what a true migraine feels like and I have to say I almost thought I was dying.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 9:56 am 
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I don't think you're more cold-hearted linanil! We had different relationships with our Dads. It sounds from what I remember like your Dad was never a big or positive part of your life - like your mom pretty much raised you alone. And he also used your telephone number (if I remember correctly) so creditors contacted you about his debts, which seems like a major boundary violation.

My Dad was a great Dad and my one loving parent for my whole childhood. My mom pretty much was horrible to me for as long as I can remember, and my Dad was the source of all my good memories (I can't think of a single one with just my mother). I think that is why I feel like I love and miss him and want to have a relationship, because there used to be something there that was wonderful. And he made me feel loved and safe, and I am sad that at the end of his life, he feels alone and unloved and doesn't seem to realize that his wife is setting the whole thing up because she controls all access to him. Its just easier to blame me for being an uncaring bisque who took what I could from him and now gives nothing back to her poor old father, who needs her.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 9:59 am 
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I hear you Tofulish. *hugs.


linanil wrote:
That is the kind of crepe that made me cut off contact with my biological father although I am more cold hearted. I felt sorry for him for a few years so kept in contact but then I was done.


This is my situation too. Although I'm not cold hearted (doubt you are either linanil), I had remove myself from the abuse, for self preservation. It's strange how no one would expect us to stay with an abusive spouse, yet so many (including ourselves) expect us to put up with and even defer to abusive parents and siblings for the rest of our natural lives. Everyone thinks they will outlive their abuser and life will be good again. I've seen far too many abusers live a very long, and in several cases, abusers outlive their victims.

Maybe the abuse I suffered was more extreme than average.

I certainly understand your need to have some sort of good bye with your dad Tofulish, I hope it brings you some peace and is not too horrible. In my case it would be extremely self destructive if I were to do so.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 10:31 am 
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I totally understand Tofulish how your father was there for you and you have good memories and I know it is hard to break away from it and obviously you want to continue a relationship with him. It just seems that you aren't the one benefitting from the relationship and he seems to benefit by guilting you? I don't know. It is a rough situation and parental issues are always tough.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 11:51 am 
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My foster kitty who was returned after having a home for a year died today. She was depressed after being returned and was eating properly and got hepatic lipidosis. She was at the vet almost two weeks.

I wish people understood how hard it is for animals to be returned like that.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 11:54 am 
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I'm sorry for your pain, Tofulish. Frankly, he doesn't deserve you and I know it's painful. Lawd, do I know how parental issues can be painful. Keep your boundaries up if you can.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 1:14 pm 
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Blondiefk, hugs. So sorry for the kitty. :-(

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 1:20 pm 
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blondiefk wrote:
My foster kitty who was returned after having a home for a year died today. She was depressed after being returned and was eating properly and got hepatic lipidosis. She was at the vet almost two weeks.

I wish people understood how hard it is for animals to be returned like that.


:( That is so horrible. I'm so sorry that the sweet baby didn't know love aside from when she was with you.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 1:30 pm 
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paprikapapaya wrote:
blondiefk wrote:
My foster kitty who was returned after having a home for a year died today. She was depressed after being returned and was eating properly and got hepatic lipidosis. She was at the vet almost two weeks.

I wish people understood how hard it is for animals to be returned like that.


:( That is so horrible. I'm so sorry that the sweet baby didn't know love aside from when she was with you.


I echo what PP said. That's heart-breaking. :(

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 1:38 pm 
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blondiefk wrote:
My foster kitty who was returned after having a home for a year died today. She was depressed after being returned and was eating properly and got hepatic lipidosis. She was at the vet almost two weeks.

I wish people understood how hard it is for animals to be returned like that.



Oh this is very sad. I agree, I wish people understood that they often don't bounce back. Very sad indeed.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 2:06 pm 
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That is so sad, blondiefk. I think its so good she at least got some love from you at the end, but its just heartbreaking that her loving nature didn't get the respect it needed.

I do think we have this myth that animals are somehow less intelligent and sensitive than we are, and so they don't need love, care, respect and kindness any more than a table or chairs does. Every time I've met an animal, I've been blown away by how much personality they have and how much they crave love and kindness. When we go to for the Animals sanctuary, I see the very tight bonds that the animals have and how complicated their interactions are, and I've seen the pigs pull pranks and the cows grieve and its an amazing reminder that their feelings aren't that different from ours.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 3:39 pm 
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Tofulish, I can only hope that your father and stepmother end up on the same cruise as my mother and sister. And that they all get some completely harmless but horribly annoying case of something. like fuego booty.
[big hugs. i understand wanting to love someone even though every step is a smack in your face.]

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 3:46 pm 
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Chip Strong
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blondiefk wrote:
My foster kitty who was returned after having a home for a year died today. She was depressed after being returned and was eating properly and got hepatic lipidosis. She was at the vet almost two weeks.

I wish people understood how hard it is for animals to be returned like that.


That's so awful - I'm so sorry.

When I was taking my kitties for their annual checkup at the vet this week, I saw a poster on the noticeboard from someone who was looking to rehome their two cats, who are 15 and 17. I really can't imagine how anyone could want to give up two such old cats who have probably been with them for years to strangers; it made me so sad.

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