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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 10:08 pm 
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j-dub wrote:
strawberryrock wrote:
My neck/shoulder/upper back have been in so much pain since Thursday that it is hard to focus on anything else and I have no idea what to do about it.

Can you get a heating pad? I found them really helpful for shoulder/neck pain.


I have a heating pad but I would feel weird using it at work, where I am now...it hasn't been helping much at home either.

And I'm sorry to all the people who are experiencing way more intense stuff than I am!

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 4:32 am 
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Veg_Eric wrote:
mittenmacher wrote:
They told him he probably has 6 months left. I have to figure out what I want to say to him before he dies, or if it would even be worth trying, because I don't think he can really hear me as a person and understand what I'm saying.


Always try to say what you want to say, or write a letter perhaps?

Better to have tried and failed, than to live with "maybe I should have said" after he passed away.

Yes, this. At least you won't regret not trying.

hugs x

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 4:09 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 11:39 am 
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This was a few days ago worst thing...so I think it was Tuesday morning I got up and I'd just been having a dream about this guy I went to school with. I didn't know him well at all but I knew who he was, sort of thing, in passing. I was curious as to why I would dream about him since he was someone I only vaguely remembered and I don't think I've ever had a conversation with, even. Of course, when I got up I googled his name and his obituary came up first hit. He died in July. Very sad. Very strange, too.

My dream involved my one encounter with him in life circa 1984-85 that I remember where he and his friend (his friend was driving and I knew his friend better than he) saw me waiting at a bus stop and they stopped to give me a lift. I didn't go with them, I can't remember the reason. I think I was out of the way for where they were going or something inconsequential but yeah, that was it. Weird that I would dream of him now and he happened to have died recently. Then I seldom use FB but I went on his FB page to see if I could find information and there was nothing other than he was in the ICU for a week before he died, unconscious and he died "suddenly" according to his obituary. Very sad.

Also, I reuinited with another friend from high school back in 2009 and she was talking about keeping up with high school friends on FB and she asked me "do you remember so-and-so?" and I said "yeah, but I don't know him" and she said something to the effect that he was sad and had a hard time and was lonely. Awww.... Strange how things turn out. He was pretty popular in high school as I remember and had lots of friends. I hope he had a good life overall. Kind of face to face with my own mortality sort of awakening for me, when someone you went to high school with dies...

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 12:09 pm 
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A friend of mine died yesterday. I just found out from Facebook right now and I have no idea what happened. I have a client coming in like 2 minutes so I kinda need to hold my shiitake together.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 1:38 pm 
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choirqueer wrote:
A friend of mine died yesterday. I just found out from Facebook right now and I have no idea what happened. I have a client coming in like 2 minutes so I kinda need to hold my shiitake together.

I'm so sorry for your loss CQ.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 1:40 pm 
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I'm so sorry CQ

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 1:42 pm 
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choirqueer wrote:
A friend of mine died yesterday. I just found out from Facebook right now and I have no idea what happened. I have a client coming in like 2 minutes so I kinda need to hold my shiitake together.


I'm so sorry to hear that (its such an awful way to find out as well). I was going to post in this thread myself but my day doesn't seem so bad now.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 2:02 pm 
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I'm so sorry for your loss CQ xxxx

No motivation to do anything even at work so that just made me feel so useless.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 2:14 pm 
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I'm so sorry, CQ. And seitanicverses. Being faced with mortality never really gets easier (for me, at least).

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 3:38 pm 
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mittenmacher wrote:
Found out today that my dad has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I'm not even sure what my feelings are yet. It's complicated, for reasons I don't feel comfortable sharing on a public forum. They told him he probably has 6 months left. I have to figure out what I want to say to him before he dies, or if it would even be worth trying, because I don't think he can really hear me as a person and understand what I'm saying.
That is terrible news, and sounds like a difficult situation; I'm sorry for you and your family that this is happening.
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choirqueer wrote:
A friend of mine died yesterday. I just found out from Facebook right now and I have no idea what happened. I have a client coming in like 2 minutes so I kinda need to hold my shiitake together.
I'm so sorry to hear that (its such an awful way to find out as well).
Ugh, how awful (and yes, what a rotten way to hear the news).

Virtual hugs and bowls of hot soup to everyone in this thread.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 2:11 am 
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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 3:17 am 
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Mom called to say grandma's (now past) care facility is evicting her [for various reasons, all of which sound reasonable to me] and that since she still hasn't given mom power of attorney, hospice is sending her down the road to a hospital-like center where she will be in a shared room and required to stay in bed which means, effectively, that she will be drugged on morphine and valium all the time, because there's no way it'll work otherwise [again, eliding details].

Mom called in a panic when I was in the woods yesterday, and we talked for an hour and I managed to make her laugh quite a lot, but dudes, this situation SUCKS BALLS. I hope grandma dies before more suck-y decisions have to be made on her behalf. Etc., etc.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 3:31 am 
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I am so sorry, lutin, what a sucky situation for everyone. I remember when my beloved granny was dying how conflicted my emotions were, even though she kept telling us she was ready to go and was obviously in a lot of pain. I didn't want her to go on one hand, but then on the other I did so she didn't have to suffer and we didn't have to worry.

Massive hugs to you.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 4:07 am 
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Oh, I'm so sorry CQ. What a horrible way to find out such sad news.

((((lutin)))) How awful. Sending you lots of hugs.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 5:16 am 
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I went out for drinks with coworkers tonight. One of them I was sitting next to saw a prescription bottle in my purse, reached in and grabbed it, and then read the label. Being chemists, he recognized the drug name and made some really judgmental comments. Yeah, I'm taking an antidepressant to help me cope with a lot of crappy things going on in my life right now, so...way to kick me when I'm down, dude. :-/

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 5:25 am 
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What a jerk, couroupita.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 6:01 am 
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That's really horrid of your coworker, couroupita, I'm sorry that happened.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 7:57 am 
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mittenmacher wrote:
Found out today that my dad has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I'm not even sure what my feelings are yet. It's complicated, for reasons I don't feel comfortable sharing on a public forum. They told him he probably has 6 months left. I have to figure out what I want to say to him before he dies, or if it would even be worth trying, because I don't think he can really hear me as a person and understand what I'm saying.



mittenmacher, I am so sorry to read this. I remember so clearly when I found out my dear father was dying.

Perhaps it is not so much what you want to say to him that you need to concentrate on ... you could write what you want to say to him then give it him. It may be of more use / comfort if you concentrate on questions ... I can think of a dozen things I wish I had asked my father.

Ask questions ... he may be willing to talk about the past ...

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 8:33 am 
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couroupita wrote:
I went out for drinks with coworkers tonight. One of them I was sitting next to saw a prescription bottle in my purse, reached in and grabbed it, and then read the label. Being chemists, he recognized the drug name and made some really judgmental comments. Yeah, I'm taking an antidepressant to help me cope with a lot of crappy things going on in my life right now, so...way to kick me when I'm down, dude. :-/


Can you make a complaint about this person? That is totally unacceptable behaviour, especially from a colleague.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 8:43 am 
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I am so sorry for your grief and pain mittenmacher. I hope you can find the time and peace to sort out what you want to have him hear. I love the idea of asking questions and having a dialogue, and I hope that you can be heard and get the closure you want. I think most of us hope for a reconciliation or forgiveness etc when a parent is dying, but sadly, sometimes, even when someone is close to death they can still be difficult.

I hoped that when my mother died, we would be able to put some of our difficulties behind us. I just wanted her to say that she loved and forgave me and for me to say the same, so we could put the past behind us. But she didn't want to do that - and basically told me that there was no upside for her in forgiving me so she wasn't going to do it. So I just did the best I could to be a loving daughter to her, before she died, not for her but for me. She told people in the hospice that I was a bad person etc, but I still went and sat with her, and would leave if she fought with me. I was there holding her hand when she was in a coma and by her bed when she died. I don't know if it made anything easier or harder for me, but at least I feel like I tried to say what I had to say and I showed her love as best I could. Her death has been really hard on me, in part because I know I'm never going to have the relationship I hoped for with her.

I hope that you can find resources to support you during this time, and I am sending you lots of good thoughts <3

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 9:34 am 
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couroupita wrote:
I went out for drinks with coworkers tonight. One of them I was sitting next to saw a prescription bottle in my purse, reached in and grabbed it, and then read the label. Being chemists, he recognized the drug name and made some really judgmental comments. Yeah, I'm taking an antidepressant to help me cope with a lot of crappy things going on in my life right now, so...way to kick me when I'm down, dude. :-/

Holy shiitake, this is so wildly inappropriate. Is there a higher-up you can talk to about it?

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 9:36 am 
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Wow couroupita, how incredibly shitty and invasive. I can't imagine anyone thinking its okay to just grab things out of another person's purse.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 1:21 pm 
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Tearful day. I feel such a sense of loss, like a relationship has ended or someone has died, even though neither has happened.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 1:59 pm 
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My stepmother has a tumor. She will be having surgery on Monday to remove it, and then it will be biopsied to see if it is cancerous. One of my dad's girlfriend's died of breast cancer when I was younger, so I'm very worried about him having to go through this again, and just very worried for them in general.

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