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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 12:54 pm 
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Ugh, CQ, I am so sorry. I think people don't realize how easy it is to become homeless, you know? Not to make excuses about it by any means. I've been thinking about it a lot because some kind of campaign person/poll taker came to my door last night and asked what I thought was the most important issue for Boston mayoral candidates, and I said making sure people have shelter and food! It's ridiculous that people do not have access to these very basic needs, and it's just incredibly myopic and cruel to say 'nasty shiitake' about someone who is homeless.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 1:10 pm 
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My b-i-l always says horrid things about the homeless and I always have to remind him that I was. It breaks my heart that we do not care for our own.
Edited to add that I mean we do not care for our citizens in the way we should.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 1:12 pm 
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Whoops, managed to quote myself instead of editing. I think I need a snack. Just hugs to everyone.

ETA: I meant to quote to say that 'not to make excuses' was referring to me not wanting to make excuses for those people who are saying rotten things. I am failing at the internet today.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 2:45 pm 
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ndpittman wrote:
Ugh, CQ, I am so sorry. I think people don't realize how easy it is to become homeless, you know? Not to make excuses about it by any means. I've been thinking about it a lot because some kind of campaign person/poll taker came to my door last night and asked what I thought was the most important issue for Boston mayoral candidates, and I said making sure people have shelter and food! It's ridiculous that people do not have access to these very basic needs, and it's just incredibly myopic and cruel to say 'nasty shiitake' about someone who is homeless.


I think people just don't think about what they're saying sometimes. They hear certain things said, or they learn certain stereotypes, and then nobody ever corrects the misinformation for them so they never think to question why they think in certain ways. I am sure if I asked any of these people "do you think it's okay to make fun of homeless people?" they would all say "of course not". It's just so common to say certain things like "that person looks homeless" or "not one of those crazy hobos" without really thinking about what it really means to say those things.

I'm not trying to make excuses for it either, of course...just sort of trying to explain to myself why people who I know are really good people say things like that. I know I'm just as capable of saying offensive things if I don't make the connection between what I'm saying and what it really means, too.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 1:33 pm 
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choirqueer wrote:
ndpittman wrote:
Ugh, CQ, I am so sorry. I think people don't realize how easy it is to become homeless, you know? Not to make excuses about it by any means. I've been thinking about it a lot because some kind of campaign person/poll taker came to my door last night and asked what I thought was the most important issue for Boston mayoral candidates, and I said making sure people have shelter and food! It's ridiculous that people do not have access to these very basic needs, and it's just incredibly myopic and cruel to say 'nasty shiitake' about someone who is homeless.


I think people just don't think about what they're saying sometimes. They hear certain things said, or they learn certain stereotypes, and then nobody ever corrects the misinformation for them so they never think to question why they think in certain ways. I am sure if I asked any of these people "do you think it's okay to make fun of homeless people?" they would all say "of course not". It's just so common to say certain things like "that person looks homeless" or "not one of those crazy hobos" without really thinking about what it really means to say those things.
It's like the whole rhetoric of "If you need food stamps you shouldn't have a car/TV/cellphone/insert-random-signifier-of-supposed-prosperity" (and the loathsome internet memes that have sprung up to reinforce it). People just mindlessly repeat and repost these cavalier statements without stopping to think of their broader implications, which can be incredibly hurtful and unkind. I usually try to point these things out when I can, but it's often difficult to get people to challenge ideas they've accepted as "truth" - especially since it's so much easier for them to just keep mouthing the same ignorant garbage and getting the same chorus of agreement and FB "likes" in response.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 3:59 pm 
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In relation to that discussion, I thought this was an interesting piece on XOJane today. http://www.xojane.com/issues/unpopular-opinion-situational-poverty-is-a-very-real-problem

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 4:10 pm 
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I've realized I've been getting more depressed again when I kept wondering "why am I more shiitake than usual lately?". It then hit me that it's more likely that my perception is changing again. Which sucks a lot. I also forgot my psychogolist appointment which is never a good sign for me. And I called her and left a message and felt so stupid for what I was saying.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 11:33 pm 
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I had a minor breakdown yesterday over all the shiitake I have to do to apply to grad schools and ended up overwhelmed and crying on the phone to Best Ever History Prof while cowering behind a giant spherical stuffed dog. Which turned into Best Ever History Prof having to walk me through my day today step by step via text message to prevent further breakdown and still barely managing to keep it together. And then I had to call campus security on my friend because of suicidal ideation in my general direction. And she's not in immediate danger anymore but her life sucks and I can't fix it. Everything is bad can I have a do-over?

Edit: wow hi PPK it's been over a week here have a stream of misery

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 2:03 am 
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I have spent seriously over 20 hours between Monday and today working on my master's thesis. You see, my project is in a bad place and I really need to get it out of a bad place, because for various reasons, I absolutely have to graduate in spring. So I wanted to do a big push and get to... somewhere. Those 20 hours were what I could squeeze around going to classes and working and you know seeing my family and stuff.

I just discovered that the thing I've been working on for 14 of those 20 hours isn't going to work. Basically I was setting up a virtual machine to compile a thing that I can't compile directly on my mac. (Long story.) Getting everything set up to compile seriously took that long. Then I went to compile and got a weird error message. So I googled the error message. And the problem is that this software needs to be compiled on a 64-bit architecture and my VM is 32-bit. Which is like the third thing in the documentation for this software, which I have read about six thousand times and I guess just didn't put together.

I promised my advisor I'd have a result on something that is seriously THREE LINES OF CODE tomorrow because on Monday it seemed impossible that I wouldn't have my THREE LINES OF CODE in but now it can't possibly be done in the remaining time I have left and I am so tired and I have worked so hard on this and I have nothing to show and I am going to have to go tell a roomful of people this tomorrow and I need a hug.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 2:13 am 
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if you need a hand hackin' on the codes, give me a shout! happy to help if I can.

in the meantime: hugs!

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 12:22 pm 
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A friend of mine had a cyst removed from her uterus (or ovary, fork, I can't remember now) a few weeks ago. She just found out last night that it's cancerous. Now she has to deal with the whole more surgery and radiation thing. I'm still waiting on details. I only found out because a mutual friend who is much closer to her needed to talk about it. J is one of the sweetest, kindest, most amazing people I've ever met, and she's already been through a shitty year. It's the epitome of Not Fair.

I've been avoiding talking about much (largely because I don't want to freak myself out), but I'm going through something similar, and hearing about J rattled me. My thyroid levels were way off last time I went to the endocrinologist, so now I have to have a body scan to see if there's any latent tissue or anything else weird going on. I was already concerned because I've been through this relapse shiitake once before, and I don't know if I'm mentally strong enough right now to go through it all again.

Fork cancer. Fuckitfuckitfuckit. It is the worst of the worsts.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 12:30 pm 
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:(

relapse scares are the forking worst. I'm juggling that at the moment, but it's more my paranoia than actual results on paper. swollen lymph nodes without any sickness, but they don't feeeeel like they would if it were anything bad. buh.

fingers crossed for you and your friend.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 12:17 pm 
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I'm sorry, josh and kara :(( All fingers crossed for both of you.

Mine....ugh. A school bus driver shouted at my coworker and me very aggressively this morning about not being able to "control" the kids in our care. The kid in question is special needs but doesn't appear at first glance to have a disability. It was really clear from the way that he was acting that he only thought it was okay to treat us like that because we're young women (both around 23) and don't deserve to be treated with respect/will react passively to verbal abuse. I can't imagine he would've spoken to my boss or one of my male coworkers that way. I'm really sad and angry right now and I'm going to talk to my supervisor about filing a formal complaint about it. I really wish I could've spoken to him about how his behavior was entirely inappropriate but we were on a bus full of kids and the bus had to leave immediately after we got our kids into the school. Also I probably would have used a lot of swears.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 6:29 am 
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my day yesterday was so bad, SO BAD, that i just don't even know where to start. the worst of the worst was that i completely screwed up the kid's halloween costume, i bit off way more than i could chew. ugh.
and i should have known, when i called Mr T to vent, of course we got into a fight. Over what profound matter? the difference between a down coat and a long coat (Mr T's english seems to have gone down the shitter). Ugh.
Luckily that day is OVER and today is going to be awesome. i hope.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 6:34 am 
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joshua and kara kara, i can't imagine how scary that must be. sending good thoughts for both of you that it's not a relapse.

my worst thing: i dislocated my shoulder. again.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 7:00 am 
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Oh no, that sounds like a drag. Hope you're not in too much pain, lepelaar?

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 7:21 am 
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naw, it hurts like a mofo while it's still out of the socket, but once they pop it back in, the pain is basically just a dull ache. it's a pain in the asparagus though because i can't use the arm for at least a week or it could easily pop out again. hence the no-caps, hunt-and-peck typing.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 8:33 am 
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oh man lepelaar, i hope it never ever pops out again.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 8:51 am 
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thanks, torque. this is the second time. the first time was about four years ago and they warned me then that once you've dislocated a shoulder, you're more susceptible too dislocating it again. now i believe them. i hope i don't end up like my friend who now can dislocate it just by taking his sweater off too carelessly.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 9:35 am 
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oh my god. i have a knee that dislocates easily (i have some weird formation of bone and cartilage that apparently isn't very structurally sound, and in childhood it happened every month or so...), and it gives me the shivers to think about that happening to my shoulder.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:43 am 
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Desdemona wrote:
choirqueer wrote:
ndpittman wrote:
Ugh, CQ, I am so sorry. I think people don't realize how easy it is to become homeless, you know? Not to make excuses about it by any means. I've been thinking about it a lot because some kind of campaign person/poll taker came to my door last night and asked what I thought was the most important issue for Boston mayoral candidates, and I said making sure people have shelter and food! It's ridiculous that people do not have access to these very basic needs, and it's just incredibly myopic and cruel to say 'nasty shiitake' about someone who is homeless.


I think people just don't think about what they're saying sometimes. They hear certain things said, or they learn certain stereotypes, and then nobody ever corrects the misinformation for them so they never think to question why they think in certain ways. I am sure if I asked any of these people "do you think it's okay to make fun of homeless people?" they would all say "of course not". It's just so common to say certain things like "that person looks homeless" or "not one of those crazy hobos" without really thinking about what it really means to say those things.
It's like the whole rhetoric of "If you need food stamps you shouldn't have a car/TV/cellphone/insert-random-signifier-of-supposed-prosperity" (and the loathsome internet memes that have sprung up to reinforce it). People just mindlessly repeat and repost these cavalier statements without stopping to think of their broader implications, which can be incredibly hurtful and unkind. I usually try to point these things out when I can, but it's often difficult to get people to challenge ideas they've accepted as "truth" - especially since it's so much easier for them to just keep mouthing the same ignorant garbage and getting the same chorus of agreement and FB "likes" in response.


This kind of shiitake has always bothered me, but now it hits me in a personal way. We were in NYC last weekend, yes, because we worked hard all last year to squirrel money away for a trip to Europe which never came to fruition because I lost my job and T. makes little more than minimum wage. So with what we had saved up, we tried to make the best of what has been a shit-tastic year and go on a weekend trip. It was to be the thing on the horizon that we could look forward to, since our whole year got turned to absolute garbage.

To contrast that, we can't afford to eat this week. It's not as serious as it could be, but we were able to buy a can of tomatoes this week and that's it. The rest is whatever we can scrounge in the pantry.

I can feel people's silent judgments about how we shouldn't have taken a trip since we're struggling so much. But the people who are thinking that have no idea what it's like to have almost nothing to live for right now. We promised each other that we would NOT let that hard-earned measly savings go to bills during this depressing time. I'd rather eat nothing for a few weeks and have had a weekend away where I could forget about how shitty things are. Maybe that's not logical, but there it is. People who make judgments about those choices have clearly never had to make them.

In other news, we were supposed to be in Europe right now, me leaving the continent for the first time ever...and...yeah. Clearly that wasn't in the cards.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:52 am 
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People can be so mindblowingly insensitive about poverty, especially when it comes to people on government assistance having "nice things." For instance, I heard a classmate who cashiers talking about how she'll have customers pay with EBT, but she can see an iPhone in their pocket. What is that person supposed to do? Sell their iPhone on ebay? Cancel their phone plan (and possibly lose their only connection to the internet/phone for prospective employers to call back) and pay the cancellation fee? Who knows how long they've been on assistance? Maybe they bought the phone a while ago and lost their job recently, maybe they're a student who receives no parental support, lives off campus, and works part time. You don't know-and more importantly, why on earth does it matter?

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 2:59 pm 
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kilgore trout wrote:
People can be so mindblowingly insensitive about poverty, especially when it comes to people on government assistance having "nice things." For instance, I heard a classmate who cashiers talking about how she'll have customers pay with EBT, but she can see an iPhone in their pocket. What is that person supposed to do? Sell their iPhone on ebay? Cancel their phone plan (and possibly lose their only connection to the internet/phone for prospective employers to call back) and pay the cancellation fee? Who knows how long they've been on assistance? Maybe they bought the phone a while ago and lost their job recently, maybe they're a student who receives no parental support, lives off campus, and works part time. You don't know-and more importantly, why on earth does it matter?

What I find especially interesting is how some some forms of government assistance are demonized and others aren't. I have a pretty sizable grant for college because my mom doesn't make a lot of money. The part of my public university education that isn't paid for in tuition and fees is subsidized by California taxpayers - another "handout." Nobody ever asks why I need financial aid if I can afford a nice phone. I never see dumb memes about how people like me should be sterilized. Gee, I wonder why that is!

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 4:52 pm 
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PP, big hugs to you.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 7:11 pm 
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paprikapapaya wrote:
We promised each other that we would NOT let that hard-earned measly savings go to bills during this depressing time. I'd rather eat nothing for a few weeks and have had a weekend away where I could forget about how shitty things are. Maybe that's not logical, but there it is.

never a better time to ever say it: yolo!

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