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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 2:33 am 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
Usually I work 2 days a week right now, but I decided to work a 3rd day because I have a deadline coming up next week that I'm really stressed out about and not sure I'll meet. The first 90% of my work day was pretty good, I actually made some progress on something I've been puzzling over all week, and I'm starting to feel like I might be ready for my Thursday deadline after all.

Then right before I was thinking I'd celebrate by logging out a little early, I got an email revealing that there's a problem with this other project I'm working on and have been working on for six months. It's not a big deal, it's a minor thing that needs fixing, but it means seriously 3 more weeks until this code can even potentially ship again. Have I mentioned this project is already 2 months overdue? Yeah. It's not good. (The 2 months overdue thing has been 99% out of my hands, but yeah. 3 more weeks on top of that? Not good.)

It's not the end of the world but now I feel shitty about my whole day and so forking stressed about how this reflects on me as an employee. I've only been here for six months, I just accepted a full-time offer with the group to start when I graduate, and I can't get my forking code out the door. I feel like I look like the biggest moron.


Yeah, but they just hired you, right? That means they know you are awesome, that stuff happens, and if heads roll, it won't be yours!

Every production place I ever worked (graphics, mostly), deadlines were missed sometimes. Not good, but what can you do when the Dehli office fails to get their stuff to DHL on time and the publishers in NJ are yelling at us in VA? Fun times, but everybody knew the drill.

It's not like any moron can walk into a good job, right? So they picked you because you were better than all their other applicants!

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 12:02 pm 
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Oh god. Everytime This comes up in the news again, I get flashbacks and chills.

The VA Supreme Court has overturned the ruling that Virginia Tech should have warned us after the first dorm shootings. The families lost their damages awarded.

I don't know what the fork the VA Supreme Court is smoking. vT decided to go with a suicude ruling prematurely and did not close campus as they had done on another instance after an officer was shot. They screwed up.

I love Tech, but they handled almost everything badly from Cook hiding Cho's records to not closing campus that morning. The VT security and police were amazing after, but administration should have paid, and they didn't. The VT community is very tight night and forgiving (they gave Cho a memorial stone next to his victims, not that I agree, but it says a lot about the Hokies)

Ugh. Now I'm crying. I hope my Russian prof friend doesn't see this right now, but he probably will.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 12:15 pm 
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Ok, I've calmed down a little. I know this was expected, but didn't really believe it. I also usually try not to read about it.

Can any legally minded people tell me what the basis of this decision was?

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 12:33 pm 
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Another reason I'm so upset: I'm not convinced they've even learned anything, and this ruling will reinforce that.

I worked at the (off campus) 24 hr math center. My first year or two, we had a police officer there from midnight to 8am (the shift I worked most often). After the massacre, we eventually lost the officer due to "budget cuts." After I graduated, I heard that they were robbed at gunpoint. Nobody was hurt, but that shouldn't happen.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 9:15 am 
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I'm one of those people who feel extremely sorry for themselves when they have a cold. That is exacerbated today by the fact that I have to be in school all day preparing for a seminar.

Reading lw's post above makes me feel like a bit of an idiot though.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 7:32 pm 
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Several close friends have had beloved animal companions pass away in the past couple of days, and I am feeling really, really sad about it. My four-legged children are as dear to me as my two-leeged ones, and just contemplating what my friends are suffering right now is incredibly difficult and upsetting.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:20 pm 
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LW, that is horrible. The problem seems to be that under Virginia law, there isn’t much of a duty to protect someone from third-party criminal acts, unless the criminal acts are foreseeable, and it wasn't foreseeable that Cho would act the way he did, so VTech wasn't negligent. The WashPo had a piece with more http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/va- ... ory_1.html

I am so sorry Desdemona. Sending you lots of hugs<3

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 1:08 am 
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Yeah, but they had concrete reason (two dead bodies with gunshot wounds and no gun at scene) to believe someone was running around campus with a gun and willingness to kill people. That's not prescience; that's common sense, AND, I'd argue, foreseeable.

Lots of people forked up with Cho, starting with his evil parents who shipped him off against strong advise of mental health professionals and the campus "mental health" center who hid his records then lied about it. I'm not even talking about that. I'd probably agree with the ruling then, sort of, but VT had a chance to possibly prevent this the morning it happened just by taking usual public place precautions.

Or, fork. If they'd made a bulletin that said: hey, missing gunman on campus, ago ahead and come to class anyway, we'd have stayed home, professors included.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 6:55 am 
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Desdemona wrote:
Several close friends have had beloved animal companions pass away in the past couple of days, and I am feeling really, really sad about it. My four-legged children are as dear to me as my two-leeged ones, and just contemplating what my friends are suffering right now is incredibly difficult and upsetting.


My in laws lost their dog this past weekend. I loved that dog. I know they are hurting and we offered to visit but they had some things they wanted yo do so we made tentative plans for next weekend.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 5:22 pm 
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My bottle of shampoo got open inside of my backpack, which was full with my gym clothes and some more or less important papers...


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 7:08 pm 
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My parents are visiting from out of the country in a couple weeks, and I thought they hadn't settled on a firm date. Actually, I'd just forgotten they did so I didn't ask for the right weekend off work. Now I have to find someone to cover for me on Saturday, and it's not looking too good. Ack!

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 7:13 pm 
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My brother and I had lunch plans for tomorrow. I planned it to be at the closest place to where he lives. He still called and cancelled and he sounded really bad. He has very severe agoraphobia and hasn't left the house in weeks. He said his head is a mess, worse than he could ever explain, and that he is suicidal but he won't act on it.

Everything I have done to help him has not been enough since he doesn't want the help. It just makes me feel so helpless and hopeless for him.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 7:28 pm 
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paprikapapaya wrote:
My brother and I had lunch plans for tomorrow. I planned it to be at the closest place to where he lives. He still called and cancelled and he sounded really bad. He has very severe agoraphobia and hasn't left the house in weeks. He said his head is a mess, worse than he could ever explain, and that he is suicidal but he won't act on it.

Everything I have done to help him has not been enough since he doesn't want the help. It just makes me feel so helpless and hopeless for him.
Ugh, I'm so sorry. I'm afraid I don't have any good advice, but this resonates strongly with me. My sister is borderline agoraphobic and hardly ever leaves the house except to see her psychiatrist or medical doctors (she also suffers from fibromyalgia and the associated depression), and holidays; it's basically impossible to see her unless I go over there, and even then she usually doesn't want visitors. It's upsetting, especially since she's also super Christian (where this came from I have no idea; our family was fundamentally irreligious) and will occasionally talk about stuff like leaving this world behind and seeing our parents again or Jesus coming back or whatever. I'm pretty sure she'd never do anything like that because she has a husband, daughter, and dog she loves very much and wouldn't want to upset, but it makes me so sad that she essentially seems to have decided not to participate in her own life and just wait for it to be over.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 7:47 pm 
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Desdemona wrote:
but it makes me so sad that she essentially seems to have decided not to participate in her own life and just wait for it to be over.


This is so much like my brother. Unfortunately, he started to be like this from a very early age, and has never even had the chance to have those early adulthood milestones - first job, first love. He is basically stunted in his social development at about an age 12 level. He also has really bad depression and what I'd call body dysmorphia; part of his reasoning for not leaving the house is because he feels everyone is laughing at how ugly he is. Being objective, I'd say he's above average attractive, not that it really matters because he has decided that he's a hideous troll. And that's just grown this horrible agoraphobia, to the point where the last time he left the house was weeks ago, and before that, probably months.

And he's only 23.

It hurts my heart, and I've tried so many things to help him - I even got him a psychologist once, booked him in (with his permission) and he went once before deciding no one could help him. I need to protect myself, but I can't stand seeing my brother suffer.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 8:00 pm 
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paprikapapaya wrote:
Desdemona wrote:
but it makes me so sad that she essentially seems to have decided not to participate in her own life and just wait for it to be over.


This is so much like my brother. Unfortunately, he started to be like this from a very early age, and has never even had the chance to have those early adulthood milestones - first job, first love. He is basically stunted in his social development at about an age 12 level. He also has really bad depression and what I'd call body dysmorphia; part of his reasoning for not leaving the house is because he feels everyone is laughing at how ugly he is. Being objective, I'd say he's above average attractive, not that it really matters because he has decided that he's a hideous troll. And that's just grown this horrible agoraphobia, to the point where the last time he left the house was weeks ago, and before that, probably months.

And he's only 23.

It hurts my heart, and I've tried so many things to help him - I even got him a psychologist once, booked him in (with his permission) and he went once before deciding no one could help him. I need to protect myself, but I can't stand seeing my brother suffer.
This is so sad; it must be so hard to see this happening and feel like you can't help. Does he live alone? Does he have any support network besides you? I am sending you such a big hug right now. XOXO

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 9:36 am 
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Thanks, D. Unfortunately, he lives with my mother, as he is completely unable to support himself. This is the primary reason I have any contact with my mother, because I would be unable to see my brother if I didn't. Living with her only exacerbates the problem, as she is the abuser that, in part, made him this way. She keeps him "down" as a way to make herself feel better. Today I feel like I want to kick her in the teeth.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 9:37 am 
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paprikapapaya wrote:
Thanks, D. Unfortunately, he lives with my mother, as he is completely unable to support himself. This is the primary reason I have any contact with my mother, because I would be unable to see my brother if I didn't. Living with her only exacerbates the problem, as she is the abuser that, in part, made him this way. She keeps him "down" as a way to make herself feel better. Today I feel like I want to kick her in the teeth.
Ugh. Worse and worse. I'm so sorry.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 9:46 am 
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I really try not to rant but I switched departments at work and my boss just pulled me aside because apparently people in the office have been talking about how I come in late (like 9:07 instead of 9:00) and leave early (like one day at 4:57 instead of 5:00). My past jobs have not been so to the minute so I had no idea it was a huge issue of the day. I never take a full lunch break (we get an hour), because I bring my lunch and eat at my desk, and of course I wouldn't mind working late if I need to, or coming in early if I need to. But this office is a union run one (at a university) and apparently it's super duper by the book and people freak out if anyone gets anything perceived as different treatment. I mean, in the first place I'm on salary, so I don't know why they act as if we're paid by the hour or something, I certainly don't get extra money if I stay late. And plus it's not even a big deal, I mean obviously I should be more on time, and from now on I'll be to the freaking dot on time (obviously no one mentioned any of the days I've come in 30 minutes early). But what REALLY peas me off is that now I have this basically really anxious feeling that everyone in the office has been talking shiitake about me. I already heard gossip that people were upset I got the job (because I'm young and it pays more than a lot of people in the department, but I'm a tech worker so it kind of makes sense, most of them are not). UGH, I mean, my old department had its problems but it wasn't catty like this. I really hate it, and I know it sounds totally immature but it almost just makes me want to cry. No one has been overly friendly to begin with, and it's just hard for me to keep being super sweet every day when in addition to talking shiitake about me upon my arrival, apparently everyone is clocking when I come and go and talking about that as well. I realize it's not the end of the world or anything, and the time thing isn't that big of a deal, it's really just different office/management styles, but now I feel like I should just play everything so close to my chest. It would be easier if I had at least one friend here but I really don't. Anyway, thanks for listening ppk.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 10:01 am 
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I am so sorry Indoorkid. Those kind of work situations are so hard, because you feel so worn down. I always feel like I could do anything for work and be happy if I was just working with respectful, kind people. Is there anyone you can go to, just to allay your own concerns?

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 12:04 pm 
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Hey! Thanks for the condolences :) I don't think there's really anything I can do about it except maybe change my own behavior and try to keep even more to myself. I just don't feel like making the effort if this kind of thing is still going to occur. I think maybe I won't feel so affected by it if I just focus inward more. Thanks for your response though, that helps a bit!

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 12:10 pm 
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My anxiety is making me physically ill.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 1:02 pm 
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paprikapapaya wrote:
I need to protect myself, but I can't stand seeing my brother suffer.


I'm sorry your brother is sort of another victim of your mom, and it's very sweet of you that you tried and still try to help him with his situation.

I don't know if it might be an option to call some kind of health care person that would visit him at home to check how suicidal he really is?

But I mostly want to say that it's perfectly fine and healthy to keep some distance and to think in such a way that you don't feel responsible for either the problem or the solution.
It sucks that he's not able to break away from the situation but in the end that's his decision and responsibility.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 4:28 pm 
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my boss was kind of on the warpath today. she's pretty much incapable of any sort of praise unless it comes with a "but..." and when anyone messes anything up, even the most minor thing, she's on top of it saying "how could you do that?" "why would you do that?" today was really bad. I came in an hour early and she just immediately started in on me. i wasn't even supposed to be there yet! then at the end of the day, she came into our office to ask for our productivity sheets (another super annoying thing), and i asked if we could have a miscellaneous line on the sheet because for example today i spent 45 minutes feeding one of my patients, and she says "are you trained in feeding?" (knowing full well that i am not and also that she has never mentioned needing to be trained in this). i said no, but that we're very understaffed on my unit and that if i hadn't fed her, she wouldn't have eaten and she gave me some more shiitake about it. then i asked if we could be trained in feeding to which her reply was a simple "no."

she was on everyone's back today. we all really try our best and it's a pretty difficult place to work. a compliment once in a while would be nice.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 4:32 pm 
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I think it's great that you fed your patient instead of following feeding training protocol and letting her not eat. I say good and smart job.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 4:39 pm 
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ketty1985 wrote:
8ball wrote:
My anxiety is making me physically ill.



You should not try to stay alone. It will grow more. Loneliness causes illness.


Thanks.
I've got company - Mr8 has been with me all day. We're both anxious as we have a not-very-nice job to do tomorrow evening which could lead to a confrontation, which we both dislike intensely.


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