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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Jul 05, 2014 11:40 pm 
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Semen Strong
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I am networking him nonstop and have a few leads. He's going to short term foster on Monday, while we figure out if someone can take him. I am able to get transport out of state now, so if anyone can take him, please let me know and I can arrange transport to you.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2014 12:30 am 
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Got an early call this morning ... 5 a.m. from a distraught colleague ... her 56 year old mother died about 6 months ago. Two months ago her maternal grandmother died. Last evening her uncle (mother's brother) killed himself.
Can you imagine? I hope not .... She rang because we were going to meet up early tomorrow before town becomes too peculiar due to the Tour de France cycling through ...

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2014 2:26 pm 
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I am leaving tomorrow for 4 weeks in Italy, which is nice, but our oldest cat Yummers has been sick lately - barely any appetite, hiding under the bed, acting weird. We took him to the vet a few days ago, did loads of tests, and nothing came back obvious. It's so hard to leave for so long when he isn't doing well. At least my hubs is staying home, and Yummers won't be with a pet sitter.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:41 am 
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Some forking dick cheese set off fireworks tonight, on the forking sixth, and it happened to be right as I was letting my dog Ginny out to use the bathroom. She forking bolted and I could not find her for a solid 30 minutes. She ended up running up to me from one of our open gates as I was doing my third check of our backyard. I don't know if she went to the street or what, but she's panting like I've never seen before. I'm hoping it's just fear and she is physically okay. She *appears* okay physically... but I'm still really worried because this panting is not stopping and normally when she's acting scared of fireworks, she shakes and tries to sit really close to me. She not shaking or wanting to be close. Just paying down and panting.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 2:04 am 
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Well, she's totally passed out and breathing normally now. I gave her some of the sedatives I keep for her stressful times, so if she is hurt somewhere, I'm not going to know until tomorrow. I'm probably overreacting thinking she'd be hurt though, as she's a small 13lb dog, if she got hit, I'm pretty sure it'd be obvious. Her fur is totally normal and I've massaged her body, it all feels normal enough to my hands.

I think she was having a panic attack. Like totally unfocused eyes, darting around not really looking/focusing, panting so heavy, indecision over drinking water... My poor sweet muffin. :(

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 2:53 am 
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Nooch of Earl
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This morning the month-old baby got a piece of my hair very tightly wrapped around a couple of fingers somehow in a figure-8…and then when I tried to unwrap it she was flipping out and pulling her hand away. Finally putting something under the hair and pulling it up enough to cut worked, but not without a lot of screams and me kind of freaking out.

For a while I was debating whether I should go to the emergency room so they could sedate her, and if I tried to handle it myself first if I was putting her at risk for, I don't know, a finger amputation or something. Which is not the most serious or insurmountable of disabilities, I'll admit, but it doesn't seem like a stellar beginning to parenting after a month, you know?

Anyway, she seems fine now, and the whole thing seems a little silly in retrospect, but I wouldn't call it a great start to the morning.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 3:40 am 
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I keep thinking about all the messages here about Tofulish and her cat, the majority of which say "Don't kill him" even when Tofulish has made it really clear that her asthma is bad enough that his being at home could kill her. I get where those posters are coming from. At the same time, it sounds like exactly the kind of behavior Tofulish described in other people she knows. ...Asthma is terrifying. I've seen friends with asthma as bad (or worse) as what Tofulish describes, and had one year where it was that bad for myself. I am floored by how responsible she is trying to be about her cat. When my asthma was that bad, I could not be in the same room as a cat owner because my asthma would be set off, and was mean in a way I'd never been before about making sure I had zero contact with cats (staying at home with family who would grocery shop made that possible). It is terrifying to be continuously on red alert and struggling to breathe. Considering that that's what Tofulish's life sounds like right now, I think we should rather applaud her for trying to do the right thing for Vito than (repeatedly) say don't kill the cat when (duh) she has repeatedly said that she is already trying not to and has made several posts about her failed attempts to rehome him.

Tofulish: I hope you get an actual, permanent home for both of your cats soon. It sucks to not breathe, and sucks even more to have medicine/lifestyle changes which used to work suddenly fail you.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 3:51 am 
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lutin wrote:
I think we


No. You can applaud anyone you want for anything, but don't expect other people to get behind the idea of euthanizing a perfectly healthy cat.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:00 am 
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Didn't say applauding euthanizing; I said applauding Tofulish for trying to make a responsible choice.
Point taken about "we" vs. "I" statements though.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:06 am 
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Lutin, I agree--this hasn't been sitting well with me either. I didn't really interpret her statement as one of intention, just a fear that she's running out of palatable options. I think there's a big gap between showing some empathy for Tofulish, who sounds like she's going through an incredibly shiitake situation and trying to do the most responsible thing, and getting behind the idea of euthanizing a healthy cat.

I don't know very many people who do as much to help animals find and keep good homes as T'lish does, or who shows as much compassion in everyday life. I don't think she's going through any of this lightly. I'm content to give her the benefit of the doubt that she's doing everything she can to find him a good home.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:23 am 
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What doesn't sit well with me is that Tofulish has been really unkind to people in similarly desperate situations with pets in the past, but now she expects sympathy.

I know I'm not the only one who's thinking it. I'm sorry if that upsets anyone, but I think it needs to be said.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 6:09 am 
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Yeah, I am with Dr A on this.

Mat.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 6:36 am 
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mrsbadmouth wrote:
lutin wrote:
I think we


No. You can applaud anyone you want for anything, but don't expect other people to get behind the idea of euthanizing a perfectly healthy cat.


I am going to go with this. I also think that if you want to take your cat to your vet/shelter wherever to have them kill your cat, you can obviously do that but that doesn't mean you have to talk about it on a vegan message board.

I've been in a similar situation in the past where I had a severe allergy to an animal, no health insurance, what medicine the doctor did give me didn't work and was young/naive and didn't know what to do. The internet also wasn't what it is today. There was no google and information wasn't readily available. Luckily was able to rehome the pet after finding a temporary place to stay. I understand the frustration but I just really disagree with talking about ending his life here.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 8:52 am 
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annak wrote:
it doesn't seem like a stellar beginning to parenting after a month, you know?

oh no!! what a bizarre thing! i can distinctly recall several trips to the ER where I thought, you know, this is proof that I really shouldn't be a parent. yet we seem to have done okay. [bet you're glad your MIL wasn't there for this, am i allowed to say that out loud? smack me if it's too early]

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 8:58 am 
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lutin wrote:
I keep thinking about all the messages here about Tofulish and her cat, the majority of which say "Don't kill him" even when Tofulish has made it really clear that her asthma is bad enough that his being at home could kill her. I get where those posters are coming from. At the same time, it sounds like exactly the kind of behavior Tofulish described in other people she knows. ...Asthma is terrifying. I've seen friends with asthma as bad (or worse) as what Tofulish describes, and had one year where it was that bad for myself. I am floored by how responsible she is trying to be about her cat. When my asthma was that bad, I could not be in the same room as a cat owner because my asthma would be set off, and was mean in a way I'd never been before about making sure I had zero contact with cats (staying at home with family who would grocery shop made that possible). It is terrifying to be continuously on red alert and struggling to breathe. Considering that that's what Tofulish's life sounds like right now, I think we should rather applaud her for trying to do the right thing for Vito than (repeatedly) say don't kill the cat when (duh) she has repeatedly said that she is already trying not to and has made several posts about her failed attempts to rehome him.

Tofulish: I hope you get an actual, permanent home for both of your cats soon. It sucks to not breathe, and sucks even more to have medicine/lifestyle changes which used to work suddenly fail you.


I would like to respond to this also. Tofulish is obviously in a difficult situation, and that sucks. However, a vegan forum is simply not the place to discuss euthanizing your cat for any reason other than ending its suffering from terminal disease. Period.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 9:16 am 
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Semen Strong
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My statements were taken out of context. I would NEVER euthanize my cat or even leave him at a shelter (kill or no kill).

I was frustrated because I rehomed him with a great adopter - did everything right, vet checks, references etc - and my husband drove 4 hours to take him to his new home, and we gave her clear directions about how to acclimatize him and made sure she understood. And she didn't follow our directions and decided he wasn't for her after a day. She refused to work with our behaviorist or her vet, just wanted him gone. And I cancelled all my plans for the weekend to get him a new foster by Monday.

He has a new foster and I am networking him like crazy. He is going to go to a great new home and I am absolutely gutted that I cannot keep him. But since he has been gone, I can breathe and I don't feel like I am going to die every day. And yes, I have learned a lot about how hard asthma can be. I definitely am sorry for being harsh with anyone who had to rehome. Maybe this is Karma biting me in the asparagus, and I deserve it.

Thank you for all the kind messages and the offers to help network and rehome him. I really appreciate the support. And to everyone here, I apologize for upsetting anyone.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 10:47 am 
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I don't see how your statements were taken out of context. You said that you may have to take him to a shelter and wondered if it'd be kinder to euthanize him. I don't think anyone here would ever think it'do be kinder to euthanize him and many found it a questionable thing to post.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 11:11 am 
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I appreciate the input. I think there is a difference between saying that in a worse case scenario I might have to take him to a shelter and wondering what the kindest option is, and saying that I am going to euthanize my cat. I was feeling like Veto isn't very adoptable and worried that a life in a cage would be horrible for him. And I'm not going to either take him to a shelter or have him in any situation where he might either be in a cage or be euthanized. He is going to be responsibly rehomed to a place where he can be part of a family as a well loved and cared for indoor cat.

Again, apologies for upsetting people.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 11:33 am 
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Please stop trying to explain this, people get it.

What you should have said:

Tofulish wrote:
Again, apologies for upsetting people.


Can we please move on now?

Thanks

Mat.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 11:43 am 
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Of course. My apologies again. Thank you mat.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:21 pm 
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I can't stop having panic attacks long enough to do anything. I need to apply for jobs, but trying to update my resume either makes me throw up or dry heave (since I've been throwing up) and I can't stop shaking.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:38 pm 
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LW, please PM me if you need some support. I wish I weren't, but I am a bit of an expert on having panic attacks and if you need some support, please let me know.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:40 pm 
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I'm sorry LW, that sucks. Certain things send me in to full blown panic and resume updating is one of them. Hugs hugs hugs.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:54 pm 
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P.S.; Ginny seems 100% okay today.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:56 pm 
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That's good to hear. Poor girl; glad she is no worse for her little misadventure.

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