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 Post subject: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2015 8:27 pm 
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Christians often come to my door and they want to pray for me or join their church or God knows what else (ha literally)

Despite just regular old get off my lawn feelings this drives me bananas for two main reasons.
1) I have *three* beagles. When the doorbell rings my house erupts in barking pandemonium for quite a while
2) they know to always bring a small child with them so you can't tell them off.

Over the years I've thought of making them feel unwelcome through signage like "Christians will be shot on site" (we have a lot of those shot on site signs in Texas) or whatever but I don't want to offend friends that might be Christian or, like, my handyman.

It's a pickle! What could I do?

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2015 8:45 pm 
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"Please no prosletyzers or solicitors."


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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2015 9:19 pm 
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I remember someone saying once that they would say they'd listen to the spiel if the people would first listen to them talk about veganism. You could even keep some pamphlets handy. I rarely get people at the door where I live now, but I kind of like that tactic. Of course, that doesn't help with the beagle situation. So I guess maybe a sign? Ariann's wording is perfect.


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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2015 9:59 pm 
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I have this on our door. It works pretty well for us! Occasionally we do get some dense solicitor who knocks and I'll just glare at them and say "This feels an awful lot like a solicitation."

Most parents I know have signs up to the effect of "Don't you dare ring this doorbell and wake up our baby or I will set our dogs on you and you will never see the light of day again." That seems to work well too. Yours could be "Unless you are expected, do not ring bell -- dogs will go crazy!"


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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2015 10:14 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2015 10:19 pm 
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I enjoy butterbobbins' advice. Or "no Christians" and your Christian friends should just understand it. It'd be off-putting enough to the evangelicals that they would probably avoid your house from then on. . .

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2015 10:57 pm 
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I've wanted one of these for awhile.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/MatthewFlansburg

We mostly get people wanting to sell us private electricity or cable or lawn care or roofing. I think it's because our neighborhood is mostly old people.

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2015 11:05 pm 
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Keep a copy of The God Delusion by the door ... wave it in their face then politely close the door.

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2015 11:18 pm 
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Door-to-door Biblers drive me absolutely nuts. The arrogance! I know the meaning of life—just give me a minute to tell you!

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 12:00 am 
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A sign should hopefully do the trick, but if they do end up ringing the bell anyway, I recommend getting very serious and reciting an exorcism incantation. I've found it to be very effective.

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 12:16 am 
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I want something for my front gate, cause my dogs start to freak out as soon as they hear that, before anyone has the chance to get to the door. I don't really get many salespeople, and only the rare (twice a year?) Jehovah's Witnesses (no other religions want me I guess). What really drives me up the wall is the menus. NONSTOP MENUS. So much pizza, so many Buffalo wings, so many noodles with no MSG.

ETA: My ex's dad once invited two young Mormon elders on their mission inside and had an hour-long discussion, at the end of which one of the elders was crying in frustration. It was absolutely nothing malicious, the dad is a very kind soul but simply wanted to have an honest discussion regarding their faith and an hour of his earnest logic pretty much called this poor kid's entire world into question.

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 12:29 am 
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erika - i totally did the same thing (as your ex's dad) in university to these people from the campus christian club who would walk around the food court and ask people if they 'wanted to talk about spirituality' or if they 'heard of jesus.' afterwards, i felt bad, but also, they have to expect random people in a food court could say anything really. i don't talk about religion anymore!


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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 12:41 am 
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I used to live near a Mormon temple, and I had them coming around all the time. I got a stack of "Why Vegan" pamphlets and said that I'd be happy to talk with them about their religion if they would then spend an equivalent amount of time talking to me about veganism. They never took me up on it, and the stream of door-knockers gradually dried up.

For what it's worth, I meant it. I wasn't mean, and I absolutely would have listened to them if they had agreed to my terms.

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:43 am 
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jordanpattern wrote:
I used to live near a Mormon temple, and I had them coming around all the time. I got a stack of "Why Vegan" pamphlets and said that I'd be happy to talk with them about their religion if they would then spend an equivalent amount of time talking to me about veganism. They never took me up on it, and the stream of door-knockers gradually dried up.

For what it's worth, I meant it. I wasn't mean, and I absolutely would have listened to them if they had agreed to my terms.

This is a good plan.

I also once got fed up and answered the door in my unmentionables. Which also seemed to work, that or get bigger dogs.

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:46 am 
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Dogs work really well around here. We also live in Mormon central and my mean dog earns his kibble.

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 8:26 am 
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But seriously. Can you even imagine going to a stranger's house, ringing the bell, and saying, "Hi, I'd like to talk to you about the foods you eat and the things you buy and your attitudes about nonhuman animals. Could I come inside to tell you what you're doing wrong?" I mean, I guess I respect their enthusiasm, but... No, I won't even go that far.

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 9:28 am 
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[maybe we're doing this all wrong??]

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 9:36 am 
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Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
I want something for my front gate, cause my dogs start to freak out as soon as they hear that, before anyone has the chance to get to the door. I don't really get many salespeople, and only the rare (twice a year?) Jehovah's Witnesses (no other religions want me I guess). What really drives me up the wall is the menus. NONSTOP MENUS. So much pizza, so many Buffalo wings, so many noodles with no MSG.

ETA: My ex's dad once invited two young Mormon elders on their mission inside and had an hour-long discussion, at the end of which one of the elders was crying in frustration. It was absolutely nothing malicious, the dad is a very kind soul but simply wanted to have an honest discussion regarding their faith and an hour of his earnest logic pretty much called this poor kid's entire world into question.


My partner did this once with a pair of Jehovah's Witnesses. He didn't let them in, but stood in the doorway talking with them for a good long while, patiently explaining how he came to his atheism using logic and rational thinking and he said by the end, the younger fellow seemed to be less sure about what he was selling.

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 9:40 am 
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Ariann wrote:
"Please no prosletyzers or solicitors."

This is so much more calm than our latest idea which is

"Ring doorbell if you accept Satan into your heart"

I don't want to talk to them, I really just don't want them to ring the bell. Maybe I'll just deactivate it.

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 9:54 am 
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"Will Not Open for Religious Knockers".

I will freely admit that I have on occasion been party to knocking on doors... most recently to invite people to my friend's vegan cooking class. I would honestly much rather just leave cards with info at the door and let people look at it in their own time and not disturb them, though. If there are no soliciting signs, I respect that and don't go to those houses.

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 11:33 am 
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To be honest, I don't want people knocking on my door to invite me to things of any kind, but inviting someone to something is nowhere near as arrogant and obnoxious as offering to come into their home to explain The Truth to them.

And "Would you like to attend a cooking class?" is also (to my mind) inherently less problematic than "Would you like to attend my church?" The former assumes a potential interest. The latter assumes a potential flaw.

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 11:39 am 
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Around here, regular churches send people around. I'm used to JWs and Mormons but seems odd to have a pair of old people carrying a bible inviting me to their church. JWs have left pamphlets before, my favorite was the one that advertised the JW app (available via the apple store).

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 11:42 am 
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FootFace wrote:
To be honest, I don't want people knocking on my door to invite me to things of any kind, but inviting someone to something is nowhere near as arrogant and obnoxious as offering to come into their home to explain The Truth to them.

And "Would you like to attend a cooking class?" is also (to my mind) inherently less problematic than "Would you like to attend my church?" The former assumes a potential interest. The latter assumes a potential flaw.

Yesterday they asked if they could pray for me and I said "no" and shut the door.

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 11:52 am 
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"Beagles sleeping. Do not ring doorbell."

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 Post subject: Re: Get rid of evangelicals
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 11:54 am 
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I have put up a "Do no disturb" sign. Of course around here, I have also had people look at my signs, shrug their shoulders and knock or ring the bell anyway.

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