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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 12:04 pm 
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whenever i've seen that, it's been in really friendly/chatty threads, and i'm sure it was just to make sure the named person knew the comment had been read and responded to. i guess it could be confrontational sometimes, though. i'd judge it by the context of the exchange.

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 12:39 pm 
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i guess i'm the type of person who needs explanation. (i like learning, and feel brushed off when i bring up something that seems really wrong, and am just told "Believe it or not, that's no typo, Carrie. :-)" sure, the smiley face is there, but it doesn't seem genuine with my name inserted in there.)

would you interpret "9,000-thousand-square-foot" as 9,000 square foot or 9,000,000 square foot. (9 million is castle-sized, correct? i am terrible with numbers, but 9 million just sounds exorbitantly large. it's supposed to be for a 3-storey building with factory attached.)

also, there have been many other instances that just appeared not to be lighthearted. (maybe it's because in a face-to-face conversation, or over the phone, or in an e-mail, or chat, people wouldn't use others' names like that. i don't know. i could totally see it being used non-confrontationally if there were a large group of people participating in the conversation, and at least one other person had used the word "typo". if it's clear who you're responding to, the name is totally unnecessary) meh.

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 1:33 pm 
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I added this person I've met at local goth events, and we have a lot of mutual friends already. Just realized that was like two weeks ago and it never got responded to, so I wanted to check up on it... person is either not on Facebook anymore or blocked me. Uuuuuuugh @ not knowing.


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 6:58 pm 
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supercarrot wrote:
i mean, i suppose they themselves might have turned off all notifications of all responses to posts not made on their own walls, so maybe that's their way of making sure you get the response (in case you also turned off those types of notifications), but it just seems... confrontational to me. i always read it as if danny mcbride was saying it.


ive always read it as they just want to make sure you know they are responding to you since stuff can get lost in the shuffle or it might look like you're responding to something directly above your comment.

or whatever...i dunno i never found it to be passive aggressive. i guess it would depend on the tone of what was being said

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 8:31 pm 
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I'm taking a Social Network Analysis course on Coursera and for my first piece of homework I had to visualize my FB network. Look how massive the PPK is:

Image

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:02 pm 
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We get to be green like kale :-)

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:08 pm 
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Ha, basically it came out that I have two large groups: vegans (green) and non-vegans (pink).

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:14 pm 
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acr wrote:
whenever i've seen that, it's been in really friendly/chatty threads, and i'm sure it was just to make sure the named person knew the comment had been read and responded to. i guess it could be confrontational sometimes, though. i'd judge it by the context of the exchange.

Yeah I've never read that as passive-aggressive, I think it's just intended to make sure you see that the comment is for you and everything.

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 10:49 pm 
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Banned from Vegan Freaks.
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Did everyone know that there is a hidden message folder or am I just bad at Facebook?


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 11:48 pm 
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The "other messages" inbox? I found out about it a few days ago.


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 1:17 am 
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I just found it a few days ago too. I wonder if it's new then. (but there were really old unread spam messages in it so I don't know how that works)

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 1:19 am 
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It's not that new, but I feel like a lot of people don't know about it.

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 1:19 am 
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I don't think it's new, I have messages in there from years ago (including some rather important bake sale related stuff... erf).


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 1:23 am 
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Odd that the three of us only found it a couple days ago! I just randomly noticed it, all: "what's this thing here? Huh?"

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 5:51 am 
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lobsteriffic wrote:
I'm taking a Social Network Analysis course on Coursera and for my first piece of homework I had to visualize my FB network. Look how massive the PPK is:

Image



That's so cool! Now I want to be able to do that with my FB network.

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 6:01 am 
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I did a similar thing awhile back. I had a couple of different clusters, but the two "big" ones are PPKers and Amma people. (Huzzah!)

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 8:10 am 
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aelle wrote:
The "other messages" inbox? I found out about it a few days ago.

Someone tried to flirt with me on Facebook, two years ago, and I never even got the message. It's like a missed connection, complete with misspelled words and no punctuation.


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 8:14 am 
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the "other" folder is definitely not new. they initially made it so pages' messages wouldn't bother you. now that pages can't send messages to people (unsolicited) the other folder ended up becoming unuseful, so they made it more difficult for people to send messages to people they're not already friends with, and managed to monetize it. (FB really sucks sometimes. there isn't even a setting that we can turn off now that pages are out of the equation. i get a message into my other folder maybe 2x a year these days, so i very rarely check it.)

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 8:38 am 
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lepelaar wrote:
lobsteriffic wrote:
I'm taking a Social Network Analysis course on Coursera and for my first piece of homework I had to visualize my FB network. Look how massive the PPK is:

Image



That's so cool! Now I want to be able to do that with my FB network.


The course just started on Coursera so there is definitely time to still join up!
https://www.coursera.org/course/sna

If you just want to look at your social network, you can go to http://snacourse.com/getnet to download a file you can read into Gephi (free, open-source social network analysis software you can use to change the layout, look at different things like connectedness among your network, etc.).

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 1:57 pm 
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you know, now that i think of it, the placement of the name makes a big difference. starting the comment with the name seems fine, but ending it with a name makes it easier to put a negative emphasis on it. (and, of course not doing that @link thing with the name also helps keep it from being construed negatively.)

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 2:10 pm 
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I just looked for this mysterious "other messages" thing. Apparently one of my uncles sent me a message in July and it went into the "other" folder. He probably thought I was being really rude and ignoring him. Whoops.


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 6:21 pm 
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so FB is mostly for my family, inlaws, and vegans. anybody who is Brazilian on my page is either family or work-related. lately, as more foreigners move to Brazil, i'm getting lots of contacts from people who have done a search and think that i can help them find a job through the expat network (or that i'll give them my translation clients). Occasionally I meet people face to face at events and add them but they usually end up asking me to help them find work (or set up a business, or help them with their incomprehensible problems).
i accepted this guy's friend request this morning, a guy i met at a work function a few months ago who seemed nice enough (and i met his wife and he met my family, just to rule out any funny business), and he has literally been shooting emails at me every 15 minutes for the last... 3 hours? "you there?" "where are you now?" "are you working now?" i am pretty sure my FB status is invisible. what would make you think that this sort of thing would be anything but annoying??? especially if you wanted something from the person?! might have been a bit hasty with that accept button.....

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 7:08 pm 
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wow what the fizzle is that "other" messages folder about?
mine is all ppk apparently!!!

now i feel like a giant crasshole.

sorry Torque, 8ball, and VeganMeredith. you guys all went into "other" and i never saw your messages til now :-(

although to be fair one came the day before my daughter was born and another on the day she was born so i was busy ;-)

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Fri Oct 11, 2013 8:35 am 
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Oh my dog, I have other messages too. I have Facebook settings set so that I get an email if someone sends me a regular messages so I rarely, if ever, go into my actual messages box on Facebook. I have at least three propositions from men in other countries telling me how beautiful and captivating my picture and profile are and I have only read a few messages so far. "You have special beauty. What is the secret?" Hahahahahha.

I had put "separated" as my relationship status and made it public after my husband and I separated so my vast numbers of far-flung relatives and somewhat-friends would know. I have since removed it but I guess that is a magnet for lonely middle-aged men.


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Fri Oct 11, 2013 9:52 am 
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I don't know what genius decided to have an other messages folder, but I don't think anyone finds out about it until there's at least one message in there that they now feel like a crasshole for not answering!

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