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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2016 11:31 am 
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Dislikes Rick Santorum
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i have a question about privacy settings.

if you have your profile set to private what can other people see that arent your friends? just your profile pic?

i made a new mom friend at one of the things both of our kids were in and we actually have a lot of similarities (both vegan crazily enough!) and our kids struggle with similar issues and we try to get together once a week or ever so often.

anyways the last time i made a new friend i was in college and it was the 90s so i have no idea how this works.

i found her on fb and i have far too much anxiety over this. when do you friend request a new friend? what's the etiquette?
this is so weird!
i found her on fb and the only thing i could see was she changed her profile pic like 2 years ago so i figured she just didnt really us fb so i decided not to send her a friend request and then lately she keeps popping up in my "people you might know" on fb im guessing either because she's in my contacts or because i looked her up.

anyways i noticed she changed her profile pic hte other day so i wonder if maybe that's all i can see if im not her friend?

i dont even know what my profile is set to and obviously i cant see what my own profile looks like to people who arent my friend.

this is weird

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2016 12:20 pm 
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LisaPunk wrote:
i dont even know what my profile is set to and obviously i cant see what my own profile looks like to people who arent my friend.


You can, actually. Go to your profile page, then click on the three dots towards the top (next to "message") and select "view as".


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2016 12:50 pm 
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LisaPunk wrote:
anyways the last time i made a new friend i was in college and it was the 90s so i have no idea how this works.

i found her on fb and i have far too much anxiety over this. when do you friend request a new friend? what's the etiquette?
this is so weird!
i found her on fb and the only thing i could see was she changed her profile pic like 2 years ago so i figured she just didnt really us fb so i decided not to send her a friend request and then lately she keeps popping up in my "people you might know" on fb im guessing either because she's in my contacts or because i looked her up.

anyways i noticed she changed her profile pic hte other day so i wonder if maybe that's all i can see if im not her friend?

i dont even know what my profile is set to and obviously i cant see what my own profile looks like to people who arent my friend.

this is weird


What I've done (as a fairly awkward person) is look at Facebook when I was with a new person and just randomly comment (verbally, like start a convo with them about it) on an article someone posted, or show a cute picture or gif or something, and then it usually comes up "Oh, why aren't we FB friends?!" ...and then we add each other.


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2016 1:50 pm 
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Tzippy wrote:
LisaPunk wrote:
i dont even know what my profile is set to and obviously i cant see what my own profile looks like to people who arent my friend.


You can, actually. Go to your profile page, then click on the three dots towards the top (next to "message") and select "view as".


i did not know this! thanks!
i will go do that. i dont even know what my settings are. i know ive been on fb for a long time and originally i didnt see the point of having everything as private but then when it became like the THING EVERYONE HAS i think i changed my profile to private.

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2016 1:53 pm 
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nifty! that answered my question. i must have mine set to private and all i can see is my profile pic changes.

thanks!

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Tue Jul 19, 2016 2:30 am 
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LisaPunk wrote:
i found her on fb and i have far too much anxiety over this. when do you friend request a new friend? what's the etiquette?
this is so weird!

I was friend requesting a bunch of people today - and I was repeating to myself: "Facebook is a tool - it's not weird to friend request people!"

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Tue Jul 19, 2016 9:41 am 
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This is just me whining.
I have a friend who is the most contradictory person. BUT! only in messenger. Which is how we communicate the most.
It's so weird. She has to negate most of what I say.

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:25 pm 
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My friend was sold a lemon and she has been venting on Facebook about it (and rightfully so!). She has a lawyer helping her out now with this mess. Anyway, all of her posts about this have been friends only posts. Well one of her Facebook friends contacted the dealership and told them everything. So when my friend talked to the general manager for the billionth time, he knew stuff that they had no way of knowing (stuff that she had posted on Facebook) and they won't cooperate at all with her. She knows who contacted them at least. Ugh. Just..
Grr. Facebook is dangerous.


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:32 pm 
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wow, what a dick move! i wonder what that person thought they were going to gain by going to the dealer.

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:53 pm 
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bastah wrote:
My friend was sold a lemon and she has been venting on Facebook about it (and rightfully so!). She has a lawyer helping her out now with this mess. Anyway, all of her posts about this have been friends only posts. Well one of her Facebook friends contacted the dealership and told them everything. So when my friend talked to the general manager for the billionth time, he knew stuff that they had no way of knowing (stuff that she had posted on Facebook) and they won't cooperate at all with her. She knows who contacted them at least. Ugh. Just..
Grr. Facebook is dangerous.

I've been car shopping for a month. I mostly look at really old cars with no warranties, so I've been really cautious. If I buy a lemon I'm SOL, but I've been lucky in the past (never bought myself a new car).


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:59 pm 
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i honestly dont understand what would possess a person to do that?
other than outright vindictiveness?

im confused

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2016 4:47 pm 
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I was added to a FB group for a family reunion, my mom's side.

My mom died when I was in high school, and I haven't seen most of her side of the family in almost 20 years. They're posting all these pictures from previous reunions, though, and it's awesome. Some of them are much younger and don't know who the people are, and I didn't think I would, but just seeing the pictures, I was able to tell them who almost everyone was. And I remember being at that hall where the reunion was held. Such 70s decorating (even though it was the 80s)!

Now a bunch of them have sent me friend requests I felt obligated to accept, and I've had to just immediately hide them because of the stuff they post. Did you know, for example, there wouldn't be any shootings of police officers (no mention of black people being murdered by officers) had Romney won the election? Also that all Hillary voters have their heads up other peoples' asparagi (crude "political cartoon" included)? And you know what's more offensive than the confederate flag? Saggy jeans. Am I rite, guise? Those saggy jeans, man. Super offensive to me in my life.


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:07 pm 
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My friend made another post about the car, and it was vague, but I think she was saying that no info was leaked to the dealer and she felt bad for accusing? She had just read something wrong? That is how I interpreted it. I hope that is the case!


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:52 pm 
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Your friend should stop posting about the car thing on FB, it sounds like. This goes double if she's going to file suit.

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2016 7:09 pm 
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A friend just posted the following:

Quote:
Dear facebook: Any ideas where I can go to milk a cow? And keep the milk? HIPSTERS WILL PAY BIG MONEY FOR THIS. No but seriously - I want to.


No. Why.


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2016 8:02 pm 
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Hollie wrote:
Now a bunch of them have sent me friend requests I felt obligated to accept, and I've had to just immediately hide them because of the stuff they post.


this happened to me after i had a kid. relatives come out of the woodwork. random distant relatives. friends of my mom, my BIL's girlfriend's crazy mother....

all post horribly offensive crap-o-la

that's pretty random about the Romney comment. ive heard tons of people say Obama shouldnt have won but i havent heard anyone talk about Mitt Romney in like 4 years except when he came on TV to talk shiitake about Trump and i entered a weird parallel universe in which i agree with Mitt Romney on something and i felt weird and gross

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Sat Jul 23, 2016 2:58 pm 
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Trying to coordinate events on FB is so annoying.

Me: Anyone want to do X? We could shoot for This Date
Response: OMG we really want to go! We can't do This Date though



Seriously? Don't you know how counteroffers work? I say how about X, then you say "Oh how about Y" And then we find something together!

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2016 7:11 am 
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This is a small thing, but it made me roll my eyes. Someone posted a picture of the album cover of Eleventeen by Daisy Chainsaw for some chain thing, and I posted an innocuous comment lamenting that I'd bought it on itunes years ago and it was on my old hard drive, but itunes deliberately sell music in awkward formats. Cue two guys tripping over themselves to mansplain to me that audio converters exist and I should download some codecs to play the files. I responded saying I could probably figure out how to play them, I'm just lazy and my hard drive is in a drawer somewhere. The unsolicited advice continued. Then I posted something about not being completely computer illiterate, pointed out I'm running ubuntu and can usually make things work and suddenly they stopped replying. I hate it when people assume I don't know things!


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 9:09 pm 
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So there's a family member who I really only talk with on FB right now, for a variety of reasons, and I am one of the few family members she talks to at all. Among the reasons for that is she has three baby thru toddler age children who she does not care for and her parental rights are probably going to be terminated within the next few weeks. Figuring out who will parent her kids and how (and how we will all support the primary caregivers) has been a huge source of stress. The kids are very much loved and living a good life, but it's required a lot of people changing a lot of BIG stuff about their own lives.

So, on the FB today, she's posting all kinds of mommy memes - and I feel for her, I know she's in a really rough, sad place. However.... She posts a meme that's basically like "When people tell me to stop having kids it makes me want to have more kids" (I paraphrase, but you get it.) Now I'm not one to tell a person what to do with their reproductive organs... But it's not a funny joke given the circumstances, and it actually makes me want to drive a car for an hour and a half and yell at her while ripping out my hair and crying. Except I don't have a current address for her.... And it wouldn't help.


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 10:55 pm 
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Sorry Olives, that sounds hard and exhausting. I hope you find a good solution for your family member.

My Trump supporting neighbor just friend requested me. He's a nice guy, but he's a Latino who supports Trump and he would not fit in on my wall. I just want this election to be over

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2016 11:30 pm 
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Ugh. So back to complain about another family member (this time, my mom. Who is an awesome person who I love very, very much. And who did a really good job parenting in a lot of respects, but...)

Background: I am slogging through some depression right now. I have definitely felt worse in the past, but it's the sort of thing where I am constantly exhausted and mostly want to stare at the ceiling every hour I am not at work (technically, it's what I want to do while I'm at work, but I go to work and do the thing because ceilings don't come cheap in this town anymore.). Trust me when I say I have reasons my mom is not a person I talk about this with. At the same time, she is asking me to do some major problem solving that I feel ethically bound to help with. So while I am calling her back/answering e-mails, I'm not super fast at it, because I feel wrung out and exhausted.

Anyhow, about a month ago, she did a FB flounce, where she emailed her friends - including me - and said she wasn't going to use fb anymore. About 10 seconds before that, she had sent me a PM on FB, which I tried to respond to, but it said her account was deactivated. So I unfriended her. BECAUSE WHAT DOES IT MATTER? Apparently, she decided to use facebook again. And tried to post a message on my wall tonight, and sent me a tantrum-y PM about how apparently she wasn't hip enough to be allowed to post on my wall. Seriously? I just.... I responded with my explanation as to what happened, and said I was sorry if I hurt her feelings, but it was really difficult when she gets snide and accusatory.


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Wed Sep 07, 2016 3:37 pm 
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Keeping my mouth shut... keeping my mouth shut...

So I may be on the verge of blocking another one of my mom's cousins on FB. She had posted something about marijuana curing cancer. I ignored it. Well apparently I missed other posts because she made a post saying 'you may wonder why I keep posting about marijuana' and no, I didn't but go on. And then she starts to say that cannabis oil cures cancer and to go check out some youtube videos. It should be said that my great uncle, her father is dying of cancer. So yeah I can understand you are desperate but he isn't ignoring his treatment and he is in his 90s so there is that too. But no, it won't cure his liver cancer.

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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2016 4:02 am 
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Posting derogatory names for the vulva and making "jokes" that are about one step away from a rape joke is a bit an indication of the kind of person I don't want to know.


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2016 8:11 am 
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One of my aunts posted that video If Meat Eaters Acted Like Vegans and it pains me. I never post anything vegan except the sweetest gentlest videos or links to positive and reputable articles, never talk about being vegan at family events, and I know she wasn't doing it as a slight against me, but was distasteful.

I am so glad there was no Facebook when we were an unschooling family and I was breastfeeding a 4-year-old. It's better not to know what the judgmental really think when it's none of their business.


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 Post subject: Re: Facebook Awkwardness
PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2016 7:47 pm 
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A Christian friend just messaged me a really offensive, to me, the non-Christian, bible verse she wants as a tattoo. I eye rolled so hard I got a headache.

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