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 Post subject: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 4:55 pm 
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I just left the table in tears because the conversation kept dragging on, and on, and on about hunting and killing deer and ducks. I can't stop crying. And no one seems to notice that I have to leave the table every forking time my brother in law eats at our house. This guy is programmed to only talk about hunting and meat.

Thanksgiving is already a tough day for me because I spend most of the time thinking about all the Turkeys who had to die. This just set me over the forking edge.

Who else is dealing with family members who are either clueless or just plain crassholes?

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 4:59 pm 
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I'm sorry, that sounds sucky & horrible. I often avoid talking to my brother because of this kinda shiitake & his constant need to refer to women as fat.

Try to remember all the happy turkeys at Farm Sanctuary & think about all the awesome people you know who are eating vegan today & every day.

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 5:07 pm 
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well, i donated to Farm Sanctuary earlier today and I just donated some more money to FARM. My soul still doesn't feel cleansed. I'm already dreading Christmas.

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 5:08 pm 
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.

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 5:10 pm 
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Hugs! I've been there before.... I'm sorry people can't stop acting like murderous crassholes for even one day of the year!


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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 5:11 pm 
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Nebraskalaska wrote:
well, i donated to Farm Sanctuary earlier today and I just donated some more money to FARM. My soul still doesn't feel cleansed. I'm already dreading Christmas.


Yay! I don't have a job at the moment but I've asked for a Farm Sanctuary turkey for Xmas!

I'm secretly hoping to host vegan Xmas at our place next year but this year it's Xmas with my husbands family who are lovely and awesome but it's going to be hard because it's the first year without my husbands mum who passed away earlier this year & I always find looking at that damn carcass gross, off-putting & sad.

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 5:41 pm 
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jojo wrote:
Nebraskalaska wrote:
well, i donated to Farm Sanctuary earlier today and I just donated some more money to FARM. My soul still doesn't feel cleansed. I'm already dreading Christmas.


Yay! I don't have a job at the moment but I've asked for a Farm Sanctuary turkey for Xmas!

I'm secretly hoping to host vegan Xmas at our place next year but this year it's Xmas with my husbands family who are lovely and awesome but it's going to be hard because it's the first year without my husbands mum who passed away earlier this year & I always find looking at that damn carcass gross, off-putting & sad.

I would love to have a vegan holiday meal. Actually, last year I wasn't able to go home so we had a vegan potluck with friends. It was amazing.

Every holiday with my family I cook everything, so everything is vegan but the turkey and one of the gravies. Everyone tells me how good my food is when they're not talking about hunting.

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 5:51 pm 
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Nebrakalaska, Have you tried talking to him and saying how much it hurts you to hear him talk like that? Maybe if you sit him down and tell him he'll refrain from talking about it. It's possible he's just dense and doesn't realize it bothers you.

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 7:36 pm 
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The worst part here was when people were talking about getting cheated by the arabs and only buying their veggies from italians. and then some....

I never really know what to say when stuff gets like this. bleh. I could say "its more getting cheated by crasshole veggie stand people" and not their nationality. i bet you have dealt with meant crassholes of other ethnicities too, but you are programmed by this country to only remember this one for being angry at.

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 7:53 pm 
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Nebraskalaska wrote:
And no one seems to notice that I have to leave the table every forking time my brother in law eats at our house. This guy is programmed to only talk about hunting and meat.


He sounds like an excellent conversationalist! I hope you get the chance to do something really nice for yourself this weekend, because that sounds horribly stressful.


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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 8:49 pm 
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I'm sad because I realized about 30 minutes before my yummy vegan meal was done that I really wish I had invited people over to my house to eat it with me. Too late!

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 9:18 pm 
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Ohhhh, I have so been there Nebraska- do we have the same family? Are we long list vegan soul sisters?? Hugs.

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 12:25 am 
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Sarah wrote:
Nebrakalaska, Have you tried talking to him and saying how much it hurts you to hear him talk like that? Maybe if you sit him down and tell him he'll refrain from talking about it. It's possible he's just dense and doesn't realize it bothers you.

probably the mature and adult thing to do...it's just weird because I never see the guy except for a few hours on holidays. Apparently he'll be around for the whole weekend at Christmas. Neat.

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 12:30 am 
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dakini wrote:
Ohhhh, I have so been there Nebraska- do we have the same family?

for your sake, I hope not!


thanks for the support everyone. i got to spend the rest of the evening watching harry potter, knitting and eating pumpkin cheesecake, not bad!

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 9:32 am 
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I am so sorry Nebraska-if it helps at all I am another one who has been there which is why this year I happily spent Thanksgiving with my antibiotics, nausea, crackers, seltzer and my cats.

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 11:04 am 
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My first Thanksgiving with my boyfriend's family. Ate dinner at a table below a giant stuffed deer head (I ate about 3 bites of bread and carrots). Then smiled while they talked about hunting. They are super amazing wonderful people, but since I'm still new to the "family" and don't want to upset anyone, I keep my mouth shut and say a little prayer for all the animals they murdered.

I then came home and ate half a tray of peanut butter blondies.


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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 2:47 pm 
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I just put this in another thread, but I was forced to face off with my uncle the vet. He says its much harder on him to eat the turkey than it is for me. And noone seems to understand that while eating an egg or some cheese isnt directly eating a dead animal, youre still directly contributing to deaths (where do all the boys go!!!!). poop.


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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 2:54 pm 
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i wish everyone lived in b-town so all of us could hang out and have scones and play cards. i'm so sorry that people are like that. when i can't take the conversation, i do just that--walk away. for me, it's best to not discuss eating politics while eating. some omni's are unaware they are being jerks. some people live for those flesh fairs to see if they can rile up the vegan. it's kind of pathetic and sad.

i had a summer dinner with family and there was a big ol' plate of steaks. i was told that they would have vegan food for me at the dinner, so like a dumb asparagus, i didn't bring anything. the "meal"? baked beans and iceberg lettuce. i wanted to cry, but i made the best of it and didn't even look like i was put out by it. lesson learned. after the dinner my spouse, told me how impressed he was by the way i handled it. and that was after multiple jabs by my marie barrone like aunt-in-law that talked about how good steak is for people. i was so focused on another conversation i didn't even pull the other end of her line.

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 3:01 pm 
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rocklobster wrote:
I just put this in another thread, but I was forced to face off with my uncle the vet. He says its much harder on him to eat the turkey than it is for me. And noone seems to understand that while eating an egg or some cheese isnt directly eating a dead animal, youre still directly contributing to deaths (where do all the boys go!!!!). poop.


why is it harder on him to eat the turkey than it is on you? what does that even mean?

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 3:22 pm 
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I cooked all day and the dude my boyfriend invited over stopped eating his pot pie when he learned there was fake chicken inside :(

Also, he and the friend I invited over kept referring to the meal as just "dinner" and not "Thanksgiving dinner" because there wasn't any turkey. I really don't give a crepe about holidays, but I know that they DO, so I totally took this as an insult even though it probably wasn't meant that way.

I just say whatever. I made kickass stuffing from plain old bread for the first time. And my pumpkin cheesecake expirement turned out awesome too. So eff them.

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 3:37 pm 
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cstadt wrote:
I cooked all day and the dude my boyfriend invited over stopped eating his pot pie when he learned there was fake chicken inside :(

Also, he and the friend I invited over kept referring to the meal as just "dinner" and not "Thanksgiving dinner" because there wasn't any turkey. I really don't give a crepe about holidays, but I know that they DO, so I totally took this as an insult even though it probably wasn't meant that way.

I just say whatever. I made kickass stuffing from plain old bread for the first time. And my pumpkin cheesecake expirement turned out awesome too. So eff them.

Not cool! They sound like lousy dinner guests who don't deserve your awesome cooking.

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 5:09 pm 
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ijustdiedinside wrote:
rocklobster wrote:
I just put this in another thread, but I was forced to face off with my uncle the vet. He says its much harder on him to eat the turkey than it is for me. And noone seems to understand that while eating an egg or some cheese isnt directly eating a dead animal, youre still directly contributing to deaths (where do all the boys go!!!!). poop.


why is it harder on him to eat the turkey than it is on you? what does that even mean?

because he knows what all the parts do! he talked about the bones and muscles and how he knows how they work so it makes him sick to eat it. he once went on and on about cow mastitis and the horrible things hes seen but somehow the story ended with "and thats why you always milk your cow". oof. my gma wants me to go to the furrier tomorrow to pick up her new coats...im trying to explain that donating to the spca and the humane society doesnt make up for this.


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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 5:28 pm 
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I am sorry Nebraskalaska, that sounds awful. I decided a while ago that its my Thanksgiving and Christmas, so I wasn't going to do anything that wasn't fun for me. Which means we spend it only with people who respect my veganism and that I enjoy being with. I would ask my sister how best to appoach her husband about it. Maybe he just doesn't realize you're having a hard time (though seriously how does anyone not see you crying?). Do you want to spend Christmas with your family? Is there something else that would be more fun?

SuzyHB wrote:
I am so sorry Nebraska-if it helps at all I am another one who has been there which is why this year I happily spent Thanksgiving with my antibiotics, nausea, crackers, seltzer and my cats.


Sorry Suzy! Hope you feel better soon!

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:01 pm 
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Ugh, sounds awful. It's probably at least worth a try to just ask nicely if hunting can be a topic not covered over holiday dinners.

I was supposed to go to my aunt's, which would have been lovely, but there was too much snow (she lives out in the sticks.) Instead I had FootFace and Glue Gun and my mom over here, which was also lovely. I turned down an invitation to my sister's in-laws because that would not have been lovely in the least. Her brothers-in-law talked about hunting all day, including how her 8 year old nephew "got" two ducks yesterday morning (seriously, if you kill animals for fun, at least own up to it and don't calling it "getting.") Then her Glenn Beck-watching mother-in-law went off about how all terrorism is caused by Muslims and how Muslims are never happy ("Have you ever seen a Muslim laugh?" - note that she doesn't know any Muslims) and that Russians all come to the US and plot and scheme to make a buck "because they're socialists" (huh?) and how wonderful Sarah Palin is. I'm not sorry I missed that at all!

((hugs)) to all the people who have to suffer their relatives on the holidays. It reminds me to be thankful that I genuinely like pretty much everyone I'm related to.

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 Post subject: Re: the emergency Thanksgiving support thread.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 9:45 pm 
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I used to be stuck having Thanksgiving with deer hunting relatives, so I feel your pain. This year, I got to deal with my immediate family (with the addition of my sister's "food snob" boyfriend) making fun of me for sponsoring a Farm Sanctuary turkey, and just got through with being lectured by Mr. Food Snob about why I should consume dairy. (Apparently I look like I need to "eat more saturated fat" and I'll never know the supposed greatness of "goat cheese that's been made the same way for 500 years." All of this while I was trying to eat dinner. Excuse me while I gag.)

So yes, hang in there! This is one weekend that I can't wait to end.


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