| Register  | FAQ  | Search | Login 
It is currently Thu Dec 18, 2014 4:54 pm

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 93 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 12:33 pm 
Offline
Lubes With Earth Balance
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:38 am
Posts: 1622
Location: Rochester & Albany, NY
I thought it might be helpful to have a thread to amalgamate all the holiday related woes, stresses, and the like. Whether you're having a challenging time with your family, are generally disgusted at the consumerism of the season, or something else - here's a place to get it all out.

For me, it's an extremely lonely time. I've spent the last few years wishing I could just fall into a coma until January.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 1:35 pm 
Offline
Bathes in Braggs
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 7:03 am
Posts: 1335
Location: Nova Scotia
Nicole, I think the forced jollity and inescapability of the ridiculously long "holiday season" causes a lot of people pain, and while this year is not bad for me I can empathize with you from past years.

I am fed up completely with the consumerism. I rejected gifts for adults when I became an adult myself 25+ years ago (other than some food gifts for certain people sometimes). I work in a large office and people are obsessed with buying stuff and equally obsessed with complaining about it. I don't want to hear it!

Speaking of hearing things, it was a glorious day when I realized I should out my earbuds in and use my MP3 player/phone to block out the Christmas music when I absolutely have to go in a store (usually just grocery stores).


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 3:07 pm 
Offline
Who's Ted Leo?
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:44 pm
Posts: 7218
Location: Modesto, CA
this holiday will be so depressing without my best friend mar.

_________________
The Stay At Home Girlfriend: A zine that focuses on
vegan recipes, cat love and living with OCD.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/missmuffcake


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 3:12 pm 
Offline
Bought a used copy of Natural Harvest
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:29 pm
Posts: 6239
Location: Land of Maple and Beavers
I'll surely be in here lots, grumbling over various holiday-related annoyances.
The consumerism really bothers me. Also having to see my family actually makes me feel pretty lonely because it's like a forced reminder of how forked up my biological family is.
But it's mostly the consumerism and the notion that you have to buy cheap Made In China crepe. I just flat out refuse to play that game, but that has bitten me in the butt before. Some people think handmade stuff is crappy, and I was made fun of pretty badly last year (by my father-in-law...he was drunk and I don't know what this otherwise nice man was thinking) for not contributing some crappy gift basket of non-vegan chocolate or other trinkety crepe to a Secret Santa. Instead, I curated a little selection of USEFUL things for around the home. It wasn't wrapped in a million bows or gaudy paper. I got chewed out right good for that one.

I'm still deciding whether I want to even bother giving them a zine that I made this year, because they probably would think it was cheap or stupid, since it wasn't purchased in a mall.

I like the idea of ensuring your iPod is locked and loaded for going out into public spaces. The xmas music is already driving me bonkers and we haven't even entered December yet.

_________________
Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumbles
Is this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 3:21 pm 
Offline
Dr Bronners, MD
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2010 4:49 pm
Posts: 4699
Location: Toronto, ON
paprikapapaya wrote:
I'll surely be in here lots, grumbling over various holiday-related annoyances.
The consumerism really bothers me. Also having to see my family actually makes me feel pretty lonely because it's like a forced reminder of how forked up my biological family is.
But it's mostly the consumerism and the notion that you have to buy cheap Made In China crepe. I just flat out refuse to play that game, but that has bitten me in the butt before. Some people think handmade stuff is crappy, and I was made fun of pretty badly last year (by my father-in-law...he was drunk and I don't know what this otherwise nice man was thinking) for not contributing some crappy gift basket of non-vegan chocolate or other trinkety crepe to a Secret Santa. Instead, I curated a little selection of USEFUL things for around the home. It wasn't wrapped in a million bows or gaudy paper. I got chewed out right good for that one.

I'm still deciding whether I want to even bother giving them a zine that I made this year, because they probably would think it was cheap or stupid, since it wasn't purchased in a mall.

I like the idea of ensuring your iPod is locked and loaded for going out into public spaces. The xmas music is already driving me bonkers and we haven't even entered December yet.


I just don't give presents anymore. I used to give homemade things, but those weren't appreciated as much as some piece of useless plastic junk bought at the mall. Last year for a few people in my immediate family I donated money to a local animal sanctuary and gave them cards from the sanctuary that said a donation had been made in their name.

_________________
I like my bagels like I like my men - big and covered with earth balance & nooch. - Bunniee

http://veganforthewin.wordpress.com


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 4:18 pm 
Offline
Dying from Nooch Lung

Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 3:37 pm
Posts: 3301
Location: Ireland
Ah, the time of year I wish I could just disappear until about mid to late January.

_________________
Meowchickameow meow! - Tofulish


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 4:54 pm 
Offline
Lubes With Earth Balance
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:38 am
Posts: 1622
Location: Rochester & Albany, NY
The iPod trick is invaluable!

I haven't had any luck getting my family to stop exchanging gifts. It sucks. I'd prefer it if we just had a game nigh or something but my mom still won't give it up.

I am going to Ireland in a week and a half, which I think will help. It's still tough because as a kid I used to love going to my grandparents house for thanksgiving and I really miss them. Plus it's rough when it seems like 98% of the people I know are all married and happy and have/are expecting adorable kiddos. Bah forking humbug.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 4:56 pm 
Offline
Calls "cavemen" on that
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 10:53 pm
Posts: 2415
I kind of really hate the holidays. And my man is sick today, and I'm not feeling too hot either.

BUT mystery science theater 3000 annual turkey day marathon is on!

I'm going to have a glass of wine, enjoy Cave Dwellers, and try to forget what today is.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 4:59 pm 
Offline
Dead by dawn
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:54 pm
Posts: 8019
Location: Seattle
The consumerism is my only big gripe with the holidays. JCPenney is running a Black Friday (which now, of course, includes today) ad to the tune of Deck the Halls, with the chorus as "Go, go, go, go, shop, shop, shop, SHOP!" and it kind of encapsulates the crassness of the whole Black Friday frenzy. I have to shop tomorrow... for apples, cauliflower, shallots and chickpeas. But usually I try to just stay home and stay away from the psycho shoppers.

_________________
facebook
"The PPK: Come for the pie; stay for the croissants." - tinglepants!
"Cockblocked by Richard Branson- again!" - Erika Soyf*cker


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 5:31 pm 
Offline
Bought a used copy of Natural Harvest
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:29 pm
Posts: 6239
Location: Land of Maple and Beavers
Yeah, Black Friday is crazy! And it's not even a thing here, but some malls are trying to make it so by opening early and having Black Friday "sales". Dudes, it's not even the day after a holiday here! And I live close enough to the border that I've known people who carpool and go to the states for shopping on Black Friday. Why, just so you can buy crepe you wouldn't otherwise buy if it weren't on sale?

_________________
Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumbles
Is this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 5:39 pm 
Offline
Calls "cavemen" on that
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 10:53 pm
Posts: 2415
People have been camped out at best buy's around here since Sunday.

Because apparently, the best way to enjoy the December holidays, is by completely missing the November ones so you can get the best presents.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 9:34 am 
Offline
Kitchens Planning Manchester
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:28 pm
Posts: 2536
Location: Connecticut
Yeah the whole consumerism thing really bothers me. This is only my second Black Friday since I quit retail and I really feel for the poor cashiers and salespeople dealing with that shiitake today.

Also, this time of year just kinda sucks for me. The past three years I've had a breakup right around Christmas, the year before that my godmother died on New Year's Eve after a very short battle with lung cancer, and I just...am not super happy and jolly, is all. I miss her and I keep expecting bad things to happen and that kind of cuts in on the holiday spirit.

_________________
"I never do anything you say, Isa. When I cook from VWAV and it says to add one cup of flour, I add three cups of olive oil! Now who wants some forking muffins??"-ExpiredSanity
Tumblr
Cast Iron & Cupcakes
I guess I have a Twitter now


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 10:21 am 
Offline
WRETCHED
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:54 pm
Posts: 8928
Location: Maryland/DC area
I called my mom last night (around 6:30pm her time) and she said they were going to go out shopping in a while. My aunt's boyfriend never went to TG dinner with my family (he always does, they have been together for 9 years) because he was standing in line at Target. Target was supposed to open at 8pm. My family usually has dinner around 2pm on TG so... yeah.

I'm lucky because no one expects us to buy gifts when we visit next month and I don't expect any gifts from them. I told my mom last night that I wanted to go to the Frida Kahlo exhibit when I visit and she was down for that, so as long as I get to do that, I'm happy.

_________________
You are all a disgrace to vegans. Go f*ck yourselves, especially linanil.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 10:39 am 
Online
Flounceiad 2011
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:26 pm
Posts: 5768
Location: A New England
We hosted what turned out to be quite a nice Thanksgiving yesterday (10 people - mostly family and one friend from school - and two extra dogs, which is fun for our dog but so much for our cats, who get anxious and have to be shut away). The food was good, no one misbehaved (much), we have the perfect quantity of leftovers, and I even got to bed at a reasonable hour. But now comes Giftmas, and frankly I am already tired of the whole holiday clusterf*ck. I guess it would be one thing if I had unlimited free time, money, and nothing of any actual importance to do, but as it is I have a ton of schoolwork (in both my student and teacher capacities), a writing project I've been neglecting/ignoring, a son applying to colleges, a partner in the midst of a very hectic semester (he's assistant chair, and is heading a job search that brought in nearly 200 applications), and all the myriad mundane, time-and-resource-consuming stuff that comes with running a family, a household, and what I laughingly refer to as "real life." I mean, I like the tree, the nog, some of the more traditional & less noisome music, and the random TV specials, but a few magic powers sure would come in handy to make it all happen. As it is, I really don't have the time, energy, money, or enthusiasm for the annual round off enforced happy horseshit that's about to grab us by the collective throat, whether we like it or not. Bah. Humbug!

Image

_________________
I will read all sorts of tripe and am great at suspension of disbelief, but when characters start getting the hots for serial killer ghosts, I'm out. ~ lavawitch
http://elizaveganpage.blogspot.com
http://earlymoderntimes.blogspot.com


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 11:29 am 
Offline
Can't Dance, Isn't Part of Revolution

Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2012 12:41 pm
Posts: 146
Thank you so much for starting this thread. I always feel like I'm the only one that wants to hibernate between TG and Xmas. I get a double whammy of being appalled at consumerism and feeling very lonely this time of year. My grandmother, who was my legal guardian, passed away at TG years ago and it has never been the same. She was my family (my parents are gone and any remaining family members are not the kind of people I want to spend time with). My friends try to include me in their celebrations, but it honestly makes me feel worse. This year I started seeing Xmas stuff in the stores at the end of October! The consumerist gluttony is just overwhelming to me and I feel like a such an alien because I don't want any part of it. I get so sick of looking at the decorations. My family would bring a tree in and have a decorating party around Dec 20th (no earlier than the 15th). Everyone thinks I'm a Scrooge because I don't celebrate the holidays. Eh, well, maybe I am. Sorry for the rambling rant.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 11:32 am 
Offline
Should Write a Goddam Book Already
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 4:28 pm
Posts: 1017
My daughter and father traveled to my nephews for Thanksgiving dinner but I couldn't leave the dogs alone for 13 + hours (didn't have time to get a pet sitter in) so I spent yesterday all alone, sporking on the couch with one of my pups Marvin, watching a 30 Rock marathon and had cinnamon raisin toast for dinner. It was amazballs. I did not miss the carcass on the table, or annoying family. I hope this will be my new holiday tradition.

As for the other holiday coming up, ugh. I don't decorate, put up a tree or exchange gifts. All my money goes to charity this time of year. Everyone else can just suck it.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 11:38 am 
Offline
Calls "cavemen" on that
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 10:53 pm
Posts: 2415
A few years ago i said fork it, I'm not doing presents anymore! The pressure to get perfect shiitake for semi distant family members was getting to me, emotionally and financially. The last year I did the whole presents thing, I spent close to $2K!

Also, I am not Christian....so it started to seem silly to celebrate, at least with the presents.

It's a lot better now that I don't have the pressure of buying presents. But the holidays will always suck. My parents, and my partners parents are all dead. Sometimes we have nice holiday with my siblings and their families, but more often it sucks, since I won't eat ham, or buy extravagant gifts.

I should lighten up a bit, and not miss my mom so much. Today my siblings are doing a leftovers party with games and stuff....and they invited me, but I'm afraid I'll just be Debbie Downer. Told them I might be working today to give myself an out.

Sorry for my depressing confusing post. I'm so conflicted on the holidays. I want to enjoy them, but so much stuff upsets me: the consumerism, religion, the food thing, missing my dead family. Blah. Is it dec 26 yet?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 11:57 am 
Online
Flounceiad 2011
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:26 pm
Posts: 5768
Location: A New England
It's striking how much pain this time of year seems to dredge up. The constant barrage of "Rah-rah! Aren't you happy? Why aren't you happy? It's the holidays, BE HAPPY, DAMMIT!!!!" and the accretive pressure to participate in (or at least give lip-service to) the enforced ersatz jollity only underscores how weirdly freighted the period from Halloween to New Year is in our culture. BE HAPPY OR FAIL AT LIFE!!!

_________________
I will read all sorts of tripe and am great at suspension of disbelief, but when characters start getting the hots for serial killer ghosts, I'm out. ~ lavawitch
http://elizaveganpage.blogspot.com
http://earlymoderntimes.blogspot.com


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 12:03 pm 
Offline
Angrily Posting on Facebook
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:25 pm
Posts: 3190
Location: Sacramento
My mom wants to hit a couple of Goodwills for 50% off day today, which sounds kind of fun in theory, but just the thought of the crowds is giving me crazy anxiety already. I predict we will show up, get overwhelmed by the people, and leave without buying anything.

I think for xmas this year, I'm going to donate to a charity in everyone's name. I really cannot be bothered to shop. Just can't. Local people will probably also get cookies or something else easy to make.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 12:36 pm 
Offline
Lubes With Earth Balance
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:38 am
Posts: 1622
Location: Rochester & Albany, NY
Chicki wrote:
Sorry for my depressing confusing post. I'm so conflicted on the holidays. I want to enjoy them, but so much stuff upsets me: the consumerism, religion, the food thing, missing my dead family. Blah. Is it dec 26 yet?

Don't apologize! That's what this thread is for. I feel the same way.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 12:42 pm 
Offline
Kitchens Planning Manchester
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:28 pm
Posts: 2536
Location: Connecticut
Desdemona wrote:
It's striking how much pain this time of year seems to dredge up. The constant barrage of "Rah-rah! Aren't you happy? Why aren't you happy? It's the holidays, BE HAPPY, DAMMIT!!!!" and the accretive pressure to participate in (or at least give lip-service to) the enforced ersatz jollity only underscores how weirdly freighted the period from Halloween to New Year is in our culture. BE HAPPY OR FAIL AT LIFE!!!

Exactly! There's this weird sense of guilt for not really being in the "holiday spirit," like you're ruining everyone else's holiday by being sad.

_________________
"I never do anything you say, Isa. When I cook from VWAV and it says to add one cup of flour, I add three cups of olive oil! Now who wants some forking muffins??"-ExpiredSanity
Tumblr
Cast Iron & Cupcakes
I guess I have a Twitter now


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 1:35 pm 
Online
TOTALLY CRADICAL
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:42 am
Posts: 4356
Location: Smugville, CA
A few months ago, I believe I mentioned something to my mother and how it would be a great Xmas gift for my dad. Her response: "we've decided against doing Christmas gifts anymore." Awesome, I think to myself. Then yesterday, after dinner, she asks me "so I need some Christmas hints." Siiiiigh... We agreed on doing stockings only, which is how it's been for the last couple of years.

We had a mostly lovely, mostly vegan Thanksgiving. I say "mostly" in both instances because my aunts and some pork loin were there.

_________________
Crazy rating: Double plus crazytown bananapants ~Jordanpattern
"It's, you know, your typical Portland restaurant; bowls." ~Kittee
Sews Before Bros


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 2:33 pm 
Offline
Top of the food chain & doesn't need to prove it
User avatar

Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2010 3:46 pm
Posts: 641
Location: Anderson, South Carolina
I went to my family's holiday feast yesterday and my mother was very pleasant and didn't complain at all this year about my veganism. We veganized the stuffing, the gravy, the sweetpotato casserole, and the zucchini casserole and since I didn't have ANY money to spend, she bought me Tofurkey deli slices that I also covered in said gravy (my 2 second turkey solution). Her pies are basically vegan except the non-vegan margarine, so she used Earth Balance and no one could tell the difference.

Despite all that good mojo and really enjoying my family for the day, I still felt like I was going to a funeral viewing where everyone else ate the corpse! I think it had just been a while since I spent the holiday as the only vegan. Not a terrible day, but I did cringe a little.

_________________
Well hello mister fancy scrubs!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 2:35 pm 
Offline
Lactose Intolerant...Literally
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 22, 2013 5:33 pm
Posts: 718
Location: Reno
I generally like the holidays, but I make barely more than minimum wage. . . This year is the second time I could "afford" it in my adult life. My budget is a measly five bucks a person, and it's hard to find gifts people won't turn their noses up at. My brother and boyfriend are golden - it's the rest of my snobby family I'm worried about. How do you get five dollar gifts that aren't home-made or thrifted? YOU DON'T. Or you shop Black Friday. Which I can't.

Plus my guy and my family don't get along, so I'm caught between two worlds aaaand I'm about to explode. I used to love Christmas. This year blows.

_________________
Blog: Reno Vegan


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 2:48 pm 
Offline
Married to the wolfman
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:49 pm
Posts: 6018
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
I just miss my family a lot. I haven't seen any of them except my dad in person since 2009. (He visited for a couple of days a year later.) Thanksgiving is worse for me than Christmas in that regard, because Christmas brings out the worst in pretty much all of them.... But after not going home for Christmas for the past 9 years, I even miss that drama storm.

Next year I'll probably be able to afford to go back for a visit but that is still so far away.

_________________
"Hummus; a gentleman's vice." -- Mars

coldandsleepy cooks, THE BLOG!


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 93 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: anna bee, Desdemona, Wallace22, Xocolatl, zinnia and 8 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Template made by DEVPPL/ThatBigForum and fancied up by What Cheer