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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 2:47 pm 
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Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
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anxiety issues + parents not understanding how i need my space. i wish they would listen to me.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 2:57 pm 
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Big big hugs and snuggles right back at you, D <3 <3

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 3:20 pm 
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Location: Ireland
Hugs to everyone xxx

My uncle called me yesterday. He really wants me to come out for Christmas dinner. I had to decline because right now I am so angry with everyone else that will be there and they all hate me and refuse to talk to me so there is zero point in putting us all through awkwardness. It will be their first Christmas without their mother and they need to save their energy into being sad about that rather than putting all their energy into hating me.

Who knows...... maybe they might actually get around to start processing their grief.

But for me I get to be all by myself, hopefully with a bottle of wine and definitely with lots of food. At least I will have the mutt to shower me with love.

Oh, and forgot to mention that every Christmas I start getting flashbacks of the year that my darling father beat me up and held his hands around my neck so tight that I passed out then left me locked in my bedroom for the entire Christmas period. I was barred from even reading a book. I was caught at one stage reading a book and it was taken off of me. I had to sit there staring into space the whole time and I was so petrified of him that I wouldn't dare do otherwise. My cousins (the nice ones) still bring it up anytime they have had too much to drink that he called around to visit them and bragged about what he had done to me.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 3:35 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Yikes Daisychain, that is horrendous! I wish you a peaceful and easy holiday season, with lots of mutty love.

Hugs to PPPP and everyone else in the thread.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 3:48 pm 
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Thank you dear. The thing is, for the first time in my life I am getting angry about all the shiitake that my parents put me through but apparently that is healthy and it is something that I need to go through so I stop the punishment cycle on myself or something along that line. But most importantly it makes me not want to be around my cousins who have fallen for my mothers sob stories about what an awful child I was.

But on a positive.... tomorrow night it will be 2 years since Lexi arrived in my house.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 6:31 pm 
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daisychain wrote:
But on a positive.... tomorrow night it will be 2 years since Lexi arrived in my house.


Awwww :) Happy Anniversary.

What does my family not understand? I'm 29, married and own a home. We are able to manage making dinner for 6!

I do not need potato salad, very not vegan cake, or some weird "stroganoff" to go on my delicious vegan pierogies. I appreciate that you want to help, but I GOT THIS.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 6:48 pm 
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Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
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daisychain wrote:
The thing is, for the first time in my life I am getting angry about all the shiitake that my parents put me through but apparently that is healthy and it is something that I need to go through so I stop the punishment cycle on myself or something along that line.



I am angry about my parents too, I am trying not to yell at them. My mom keeps telling me to basically get over my ocd to be with them and my dad is giving me a sob story about being alone (which he is not - my mom is going over there).
My mother was not concerned with christmas plans when she left our family to be with my stepfather. I still remember that first christmas when we did not really have gifts, or a tree but we had good ol' dad calling us whores as he came off from a drug binge...

My parents tell me how I mean everything to them, they keep telling me they only live for me and so on. They do not understand my ocd/anxiety issues, they will not let me cope with things in my own terms, giving me the space I need so I do not have a major freak out...

I have been scared to tell them I can't go to see them till this weekend. I need my space, my mom is already getting into me, in email & phone calls. I pushed my anxiety over the weekend - leaving the house for more than 24 hours, staying in a hotel, those things really challenged me. My chest is broken out & I have shingles coming on...but my mom will not leave me alone.

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https://www.etsy.com/shop/missmuffcake


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 9:50 am 
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My stepfather started early last night.

As soon as we saw them, he started talking about how he wanted to take us to the casino. I dislike the casinos plus they are smoky. Also, he likes to eat at the buffets which hardly have anything for us. Plus it was nearly 7pm (10pm eastern) and I was already feeling tired. So his plan was to take us to the casinos via a drive that'd take an hour, stay there for a few hours then drive home. I said we could go another day but not today.

Then he says he'll take us to his favorite restaurant where they put lard in the beans and chicken broth in the rice which basically leaves us with nothing to eat. I reminded him of that and he knew. Then he starts talking about how we are going to go to Sea World, which is a conversation we've had many, many times. We are not going to Sea World. Then he starts talking about killing deer (he is not a hunter) which apparently was my fault because I got an email from Mr Nil's mom about baby deer in their front yard.

It just went on and on and on... finally we got home, where I was able to shower and go to bed. I have 9 more days.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 11:08 am 
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Location: Las Vegas, NV
Ah, hugs to everyone. Stay strong!

I'm kind of not looking forward to it either? I am tired of my mother not.listening.to.anything.I.say. The latest: I mentioned elsewhere that I was having kidney issues. I have mentioned it directly, I have talked about repeated doctor appts, etc. It goes completely unacknowledged and she launches from one topic to the next. And this is a 1 on 1 in person conversation, not a crowded bar or something. The other night when we were on the phone, boring story even more boring, she says "why have you not said anything about this?" It was all I could do to not scream. I just am not looking forward to being talked at all day, sorry if that makes me a shitty daughter.


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 11:41 am 
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Mispronounces Daiya
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Location: Rochester & Albany, NY
One of my cousins just posted something to this effect on Facebook:

"Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you are with family and (blah blah blah, Jesus, blah, blah)."

Um, not all of us have a family, so fork you very much for pointing it out and making me feel less than because of it.


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 11:55 am 
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Should Write a Goddam Book Already
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couroupita wrote:
Oh. My. God. I haven't seen my step MIL in a year and first thing she does is try to rile me up with sound bites from fox news. I needed a bingo card for sure:

duck dynasty. Free speech!
we should give old southern people who say racist/homophobic shiitake a pass because it's how they grew up and they dont know any better. They have good hearts!
obama (she got right in my face and out of nowhere says, "do you like obama? I hate him!!!")
Trayvon martin and how we never hear about black people shooting whites unjustly. Reverse racism!
Oprah said all bigots should die! (Not what oprah said)
and to finish it up, a nice logical fallacy that because she's lived longer than me, she's right because shes "seen more". Ok insulated middle class white lady suburban housewife who knows nothing about my life.

it took so much willpower to keep my mouth shut but she wasn't worth my time. Maybe I'll make a donation to some social justice charity in her name.



Omg, I didn't know we were related!


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 12:54 pm 
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Location: Ireland
Sounds like we all have amazingly supportive families. NOT!

Missmuffcake: I can totally understand the need to be in your own space. If I am away from home for any prolonged period of time I get panicky and my symptoms increase really quickly. It only needs to be a bit longer than a day at work. I get a bulk of my work done in the morning because I know come late afternoon I will start getting preoccupied about the dog and the house. People just don't understand that staying away from my house overnight means I won't get to sleep at all because I am so worried and will be convinced that the house will be burnt down because I left something plugged in that shouldn't be plugged in.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 2:39 pm 
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Dying from Nooch Lung
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I'm having an argument with my mother about me not going to see my dad's family tonight. I have a bad cold and I just do not want to deal with them. Three years in a row, I went out of state on xmas eve specifically to avoid having to see these people. My mom says that we all HAVE to go, because that's what families DO. Sorry, I don't want to waste my xmas eve being miserable with people who don't even like me that much. I don't think me sitting silently in a corner the entire time, thinking, "I want to go home, for fork's sake, I just want to go home," really adds much to the festivities anyway.


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 2:48 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Sorry RC! I think its your holiday and you should spend it with whomever you want. That is why I don't see my MIL. A few hours on my phone wishing I could just go home being as pleasant as I can to someone I dislike isn't Christmas for me.

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But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 3:15 pm 
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One cousin wants to flee the state because we have food at our houses and she can't be around food because "it's like putting a crackhead in a crack house" and I guess under normal circumstances we could dwell on this problem but my grandma is dying and it's really sudden and no one is in good spirits. She's just in a lot of pain and everyone is just forking miserable, it's like the worst time for food drama.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 3:23 pm 
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Dying from Nooch Lung
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I'm sorry about your grandma, Fee. Sounds like a stressful holiday all around.


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 3:46 pm 
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So sorry to hear your grandma is so unwell xx

RC..... if you are sick and it is Christmas then you that gives you right to be in pjs in front of the fire at all times. Visiting family that are not bearable while you are ill at Christmas is possibly totally illegal.

I have my first ever loaf of seitan made for my dinner tomorrow. So proud and looking forward to having it all to myself!

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 4:30 pm 
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I'll preface this by saying that I actually adore T.'s grandmother. She's 93, and since becoming a widow she has set out to travel the world and get her masters. She has done both, and is as smart as a whip. The thing is...she's also such a gossip! My sister-in-law was just over here and telling us all the things grammie has been gossiping about. I would hope that people would stop doing that as they age, but I guess not! Apparently now that I have a new job, grammie thinks we should start a family and that we will regret it if we don't. And if we don't now, when will we? We aren't getting any younger. I hope that doesn't come up when I'm present.

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Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumbles
Is this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 4:32 pm 
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PP, I didn't know that you had gotten a job. Congrats! So happy for you.


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 4:34 pm 
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Congrats on the new job!!

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 5:52 pm 
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daisychain wrote:
RC..... if you are sick and it is Christmas then you that gives you right to be in pjs in front of the fire at all times. Visiting family that are not bearable while you are ill at Christmas is possibly totally illegal.

Yes, I think you are right. Plus I wouldn't want the dogs to be alone on christmas eve! I'm so not sad to miss the plate of plain green beans I get served every year, or the stories about killing animals that my relatives just have to tell, loudly, whenever I am in the room. I'll just stay here under a pile of blankets and snuggle with my puppy.


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 6:22 pm 
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Thanks, guys! I am very happy about it.

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Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumbles
Is this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 7:20 pm 
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THERE ARE TOO MANY PEOPLE IN MY HOUSEEEE! get outtttttttt

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 7:28 pm 
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My mother has mental health issues and spends most the day crying. As much as I am looking forward to 12 days off work (seeing my sister & new neice) I think I might end up drinking myself into unconsciousness every day

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday Support Thread 2013
PostPosted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 7:55 pm 
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My sister-in-law who USED TO BE VEGAN is playing so dumb about veganism! And she is making this making of banana bread that she just HAD TO DO TONIGHT so complicated as a result. She's got me dissecting her banana bread recipe and trying to veganize it. Just make it not vegan I don't care.

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Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumbles
Is this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface


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