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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 2:51 am 
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A co-worker of mine is a fictual personal trainer/health and fitness expert. He hands out dangerous nutritional advice to anyone within earshot, such as telling my colleague that she should have a high iodine diet instead of taking her prescibed hypothyroid medication. He preaches about diet while consuming 6 bowls of processed cereal a day and is currently sitting at his desk eating a bacon sandwich and doling out badly researched guff on the GI Diet. People in the office feel he's credible and listen to him because he sounds confident in what he says but it's the biggest load of Google-tripe I've heard. He's never attempted to give me advice, funnily enough.

It's pretty sad that he seems to be telling so many lies. He's so outwardly happy all the time that it appears fake.


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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 9:16 am 
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iodine might be able to help early on, but if she already had meds prescribed, it's probably too late.

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 12:10 pm 
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Colleagues interfering with my personal life. They are trying to turn the guy I am dating against me. I'm so upset today that I had to leave work early.

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 4:38 pm 
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There's a girl that I actually adore, but she's extremely busy. . Two jobs and a three-month old - you do the math. I can't blame her if she's "occasionally" late (and I'm being polite here). What I can blame, however, is the bosses who make the schedule. Should she have such necessary shifts if it's hard to know she'll be there when needed? Should she ever relieve another employee?

Like, I leave at three. Two people are coming in: one at 3:00 (her) and one at 3:15 (someone very reliable). Why not just. . . switch it? I don't get it.

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 4:55 pm 
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daisychain wrote:
Colleagues interfering with my personal life. They are trying to turn the guy I am dating against me. I'm so upset today that I had to leave work early.


That is some straight up bullshiitake. What business is it of theirs, anyway? I hope for your sake he told them where to put their opinions.

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 5:29 am 
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Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
daisychain wrote:
Colleagues interfering with my personal life. They are trying to turn the guy I am dating against me. I'm so upset today that I had to leave work early.


That is some straight up bullshiitake. What business is it of theirs, anyway? I hope for your sake he told them where to put their opinions.


It's escalated big time. The same people reported me for professional misconduct. Apparently I am following him around and making up all sorts of crepe about him.

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 6:35 am 
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I had a chat with the woman who was being nice to my face and mean behind my back. I think it went really well. It's a pretty big reality check when someone (me, in this case) has the nerve to call you on something that is just mean and counterproductive. I think I went up, not down, in her estimation, so hopefully she's over the little tirade to make me fall small and stupid. I actually really like her and nice people do mean things all the time, so I hope we can get past this!


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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 7:17 am 
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vijita wrote:
...
nice people do mean things all the time, so I hope we can get past this!

That's such a great attitude! Well done for turning this into something that sounds really productive.

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 2:17 pm 
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vijita.... you need to infect me with your sensibility!

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 3:28 pm 
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I am sorry things are so hard at work DC! You deserve good things in your life, and its rotten that your coworkers can't just let you have some happiness.

And vijita, such a great attitude!

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 4:49 pm 
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daisychain wrote:
Colleagues interfering with my personal life. They are trying to turn the guy I am dating against me. I'm so upset today that I had to leave work early.


What the very fork? I'm so sorry that they're being such arseholes!


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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 7:04 pm 
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There's a dude at my work who makes me uncomfortable with remarks and sometimes touching me on the shoulder, but I want him to leave me alone without me having to burn the bridge. I just want things to be normal. Is there any way to make that happen? Has anyone been through this before?

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 7:15 pm 
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Could you maybe say to him something like "hey, I don't really like being touched." like, maybe he'd think you just have a problem with being touched and it's not personal? It doesn't sound as bad as "it really creeps me out when you touch me!" i don't know if it would solve the weird comments though :(

I've had issues like this before and it's really hard when it's someone you have to see everyday! There's a guy who inappropriately touches a few of my coworkers at work and they won't say anything, but I really want to tell him to back the fork off. of course, i can't really do it against their wishes, but it sucks.

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 7:22 pm 
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As someone who generally hates to be touched, that is one of my least favorite things, julialegume. I usually try to maintain distance between myself and everyone, but it gets awkward if they come up behind you and do that like, hand on the shoulder thing. Thankfully it hasn't been an issue really. Is it someone who you make random conversation with? I think I would mention it randomly like you were just talking about yourself. This is all making me question my feminism. Grr. Men and anyone, it's not OK to randomly touch women (or anyone) without their explicit invitation.

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 7:40 pm 
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I hate being touched by people I work with (unless I know them really well/it's a special occasion and I can clearly see it coming.). I've had to deal with this and I've moved away as soon as possible and fairly obviously the first couple of times, if that doesn't get through to them I am prepared to tell them not to do it again. It really peas me off that it's generally seemed to be people in positions of power (male and female) suddenly invading personal space without warning. It feels like they're laying claim and I won't stand for it.

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Sun Jul 20, 2014 9:53 pm 
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Well, the results: this coworker is now passive aggressive and ignoring me. So, win?

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 1:12 am 
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Not trying to undermine your feelings, but as someone who is very comfortable with casual touch, I can see it from your annoying co-worker's POV. Of course, I don't know the context for the way you were touched, but for me, touch on the arm or shoulder is sometimes almost an extension of natural gesture, and an expression of being comfortable with someone. If someone in the moment stiffened up, or shrugged away, I would recognise tactile defensiveness and work hard to leave a physical gap. But if someone I thought was comfortable with my communication confronted me like that, I'd probably feel incredibly embarrassed and awkward, as if I were being accused of molestation, or as if there were an unpleasant significance or intention to my communication style. and perhaps go overboard the other direction to pull back on all the other parts of non-verbal communication, and that could look like ignoring.

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 5:09 am 
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If I invaded someone's personal space without meaning to and they asked me to stop, I would feel awful for makng them uncomfortable and probably go out of my way to be nice.

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 6:55 am 
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We have the Thai woman who does some work in the winery (she's married to the boss' father who lives on the property) and her English is pretty bad and a lot of the time she forgets she's trying to speak English and not French (to complicate things further, her husband is francophone and refuses to speak English to us) but anyway, she semi-molests the other girls on the bottling line--like rubs their bums when she is standing beside them or grabs at their breasts. One has come to just not care and let her do it, but the other girl is really uncomfortable with it and when she tries to communicate that, the molesting girl just laughs and does it more. I really wish someone here spoke Thai so they could explain it to her, because I know it's coming from an innocent and ignorant place, but it's super inappropriate! If she did it to me I don't really know what I'd do, but I would definitely not like it. I've been at this job for almost two months however and I still don't think she understands who I am and why I'm always around, and I confused her once by speaking French to her because she understands that language better, so now she thinks I'm francophone and told her husband to come talk to me and I couldn't understand a damn word he said because he speaks in a country Quebecois dialect that is so foreign to me.

It's...an interesting dynamic.


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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 7:50 am 
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Ugh. GROSS. I used to work for a jewelry company where there were two old Russian ladies, and one of them would always try to tickle us. That seems worse, though.

The guy I share my office with apparently takes a while to get warmed up in the mornings. He doesn't speak to me at all until he's good 'n ready, I guess. We've been sitting in here together for about 40 minutes and he's yet to say a word to me (despite my having spoken to him). I know he's not mad at me or anything -- this is pretty common. The awkward silence is killing me, though.


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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 10:00 am 
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yikes, vijita. i wonder if it'd be okay to ask the boss if they can explain to her that it's illegal. (it IS illegal, correct?) that way the girls on the floor won't be retaliated against. (i hope) are you a valued enough employee that you won't be retaliated against? if not, maybe send an anonymous letter?

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 10:51 am 
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Yes, sexual harassment is illegal and should be reported.

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 11:15 am 
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As you all know, my counterpart in the office is leaving at the end of the month. We had two great candidates lined up for final interviews this morning. They both cancelled. I am so mad. Like I get that they got other jobs. But I really don't want to deal with interviewing people today. And Bossman won't return my calls, and neither will my counter part. I can't schedule without talking to him.
To top it off, today is billing day and he didn't turn in the right paperwork.

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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 11:59 am 
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supercarrot wrote:
yikes, vijita. i wonder if it'd be okay to ask the boss if they can explain to her that it's illegal. (it IS illegal, correct?) that way the girls on the floor won't be retaliated against. (i hope) are you a valued enough employee that you won't be retaliated against? if not, maybe send an anonymous letter?

It's a very bizarre work situation. Very unlike most North American corporate environments. This doesn't justify anything, of course, but the PPK would probably be horrified by some of the operational practices, most of which I think are okay in our very very particular context. But I will talk to the owner again, so hopefully he can communicate in French to his dad so he can communicate in Thai to the woman. I honestly believe she thinks she is just being funny, and since it's only women she targets, they will find it funny too. Her humour is very crass and I think that's because the women in Canada she's befriended find that hilarious, so to an extent I really feel sorry for her because I think she is genuinely trying to bond with people she can't really talk to in ways that have been smiley and jokey in the past.

I'm not making up excuses, believe me. I know this particular situation is wrong and needs to be dealt with.


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 Post subject: Re: Annoying coworker situations
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 12:07 pm 
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julialegume wrote:
There's a dude at my work who makes me uncomfortable with remarks and sometimes touching me on the shoulder, but I want him to leave me alone without me having to burn the bridge. I just want things to be normal. Is there any way to make that happen? Has anyone been through this before?



You could politely tell him that touching staff is inappropriate and you do not wish to have to report him.

You are sure he means no offense but you are uncomfortable with it.

A manager where I worked once years ago used to come up behind me, put his hand on my shoulder ... it creeped me out and I finally told him ... he apologised and that was the end of it.

You best know the situation there ... good luck with whatever you decide ... but please do something.

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