| Register  | FAQ  | Search | Login 
It is currently Sun Sep 21, 2014 7:16 am

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 10 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what?
PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 9:59 pm 
Offline
Not NOT A Furry
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:24 pm
Posts: 510
I have been volunteering at my local SPCA for the past year. I have grown quite fond of 2 women who volunteer the same shift as me. I'm inviting them to my house next week for vegan chili after our shift is over. I've only recently come out of the "vegan" closet to them, as food is typically not our focus point in conversations at the shelter. I don't suspect either of them are vegan or even vegetarian.

They offered to bring stuff to the dinner party (even though I told them it was unnecessary). One offered to bring wine and asked what I liked. I told her my favorite type. The other chimed in she would bring Christmas cookies and left it at that. When I left, I asked if either one of them had allergies to soy or wheat as there may be some of that in my chili (i.e. soy crumbles or wheat bulgur), thus reminding them that I am vegan. They both denied any allergies and thanked me for my thoughtfulness.

I'm suspecting the cookies brought over won't be vegan, but I was afraid to ask or demand that they be vegan. My husband is omni and at the very least the 3 of them would/could probably eat them. I don't want to seem like I'm telling anyone what ingredients to use, but also don't want to get all vegan-police on them if I have to inquire about them once they get to my house. I'm tempted just to say that I'm full after dinner or have my own vegan desserts already prepared and decline the cookies.

What to do PPK? I won't see these ladies again until the day of our planned dinner party. I could email before then, but don't want to seem ungrateful or overly picky either. Help!

_________________
Blog: Tuxedo Cat - My Vegan Life
Facebook: Tuxedo Cat: My Vegan Life
Twitter: @TuxedoCatVegan


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what
PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 10:04 pm 
Offline
No-pants hermit 4 lyfe
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 10:22 am
Posts: 3127
Location: BKLN
i would let them bring their cookies if they want to bring cookies. i mean, i would have first tried to convince them that they didn't need to bring anything, like you did, but i wouldn't make a thing out of it. it's not like they're going to contaminate other food. and i would have other (vegan) desserts available. you aren't obligated to eat food that a guest brings.

_________________
"rise from the ashes of douchebaggery like a fancy vegan phoenix" - amandabear
"I'm pretty sure the moral of this story is: fork pants." - cq


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what
PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 10:05 pm 
Offline
Crazy bat lady
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 8:59 pm
Posts: 507
I would have some vegan cookies to share, and when she offers her cookies to you, ask politely if they have eggs/milk/butter. I always just try to be gracious.

_________________
BoomBoomLegume


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what
PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 10:09 pm 
Offline
Vegan Since Before There Were Vegetables
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 8:43 pm
Posts: 10671
Location: Astoria, NY by way of San Diego, CA
what i've done in the past in almost the same situation is emailed the person and said something like "thank you so much for offering to bring cookies! i have a ton of awesome vegan recipes if you'd like one! can't wait till next week! (or whatever)"

_________________
I am not a troll. I am TELLING YOU THE ******GOD'S TRUTH****** AND YOU JUST DON'T WANT THE HEAR IT DO YOU?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what
PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 10:25 pm 
Offline
Flat Chesty McNoBoobs
User avatar

Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2010 11:41 am
Posts: 7505
Location: Portland
IJDI's idea is a good one.

I might say something like "let me know if you'd like some sure-fire vegan recipes. I know vegan baking can be a bit disorienting at first!"

The key is to keep it upbeat and unabashed. That way, even if things get a bit awkward, you can smile and get through it in a friendly way.

_________________
If you spit on my food I will blow your forking head off, you filthy shitdog. - Mumbles
Don't you know that vegan meat is the gateway drug to chicken addiction? Because GMO and trans-fats. - kaerlighed


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what
PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 10:30 pm 
Offline
Semen Strong
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 19040
Location: Cliffbar NJ
I'd use IDJI's suggestion as well.

Given that the person would be baking cookies to thank you for a nice dinner, it might be more awkward for her to make the cookies and have you not eat them than to offer a recipe that you could share in ahead of time. If you offer vegan recipes she can still say "you know, I'm going to make non-vegan cookies because that is what I'm familiar with," but you're not risking surprising her if you don't eat them.

_________________
My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what
PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 11:53 pm 
Offline
Has it on Blue Vinyl
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:40 pm
Posts: 2145
You could also email her and say that you just decided to make this fantastic dessert, and you're excited about it, and would she mind terribly bringing a green salad instead? And say if it's not convenient, not to worry, because there will be other vegetables?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what
PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 11:58 pm 
Offline
Queen Bitch of Self-Righteous Veganville
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 2:21 pm
Posts: 10527
Location: Illinoize
jordanpattern wrote:
IJDI's idea is a good one.

I might say something like "let me know if you'd like some sure-fire vegan recipes. I know vegan baking can be a bit disorienting at first!"



I would leave out the part about vegan baking being disorienting, because it goes from hinting to assuming, and some people get defensive reeeeeeally easy.


I am a kitten, so i'd have vegan cookies ready for myself just in case. If she does make vegan cookies, you can trade! If not, oh well, and hopefully she'll get the idea next time (and if not, i'd probably stop inviting her over).

_________________
"The Tree is His Penis"

The tree is his penis // it's very exciting // when held up to his mouth // the lights are all lighting // his eyes start a-bulging // in unbridled glee // the tree is his penis // its beauty, effulgent -amandabear


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what
PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:05 am 
Offline
Heart of Vegan Marshmallow
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:25 pm
Posts: 3096
Location: Sacramento
I would be sad if I brought cookies for someone who couldn't eat them for whatever reason. I'd want to know ahead of time about dietary restrictions. So, I think you should send an email, and offering to provide vegan recipes is a great idea. She may not even make the connection that the cookies she's planning to bring aren't vegan-friendly.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what
PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:21 am 
Offline
Inflexitarian
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 29, 2010 9:06 pm
Posts: 745
TuxedoCat wrote:
I don't want to seem like I'm telling anyone what ingredients to use, but also don't want to get all vegan-police on them if I have to inquire about them once they get to my house. I'm tempted just to say that I'm full after dinner or have my own vegan desserts already prepared and decline the cookies.

in this situation I usually say something like, "I don't eat dairy or eggs, should I have these?". No one could take offense, it would be similar to asking "I have a nut allergy, can I eat these?". This way you don't have to assume that they are not vegan.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 10 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: aelle, Google [Bot], rachell37, Yahoo [Bot] and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Template made by DEVPPL/ThatBigForum and fancied up by What Cheer