Post Punk Kitchen Forum

Hello friends! I am so excited that you are here and are choosing to improve your very existence by attending my house party! I have a variety of products that I just know your friends will love as much as I do! I've been waiting for that sales force to sell my Panda With Cookie panda items so that I may do less work. There are some great incentivized incentives for your sales figures and I just know we'll have innovative innovations by the metric tonne!
Gather 'round! Be amazed by the KAPOPAN™!

Perhaps a PandaDiffusion™. Small wax tarts melt above a lightbulb and bring that fresh panda smell directly to your nose. Mmm, wet fur! My favourite! For every one we sell, a second is sent to a small child in a poor black nation that has no access to a good scent. It is really a tragedy and I like to think that I help where I can.

can i use KAPOPAN™ on the stove and in the oven? is it autoclave safe? does it make a perfect crust every time? no more fuss or muss?

Hello there, acr! You sure do look nice this afternoon. I am so glad you are interested in the KAPOPAN™! It is not for use on either stove or oven but functions best when used in the PandaHot™, out patented technological breakthrough that ensures even heating throughout! There's never any fuss or muss with the KAPOPAN™! You just set it and forget it until the smoke alarm goes off!

this sounds a lot like what i do now with my regular pans. tell me more about what sets KAPOPAN™ apart.

Oh my goodness. What doesn't set it apart? It has a special name with a ™ after it. It makes the best darn KAPOP you ever did see. And the PandaHot™ takes up minimal counter space so it will fit nicely into your small Brooklyn kitchen provided you have very high cabinets, a separate outlet, and need no counter space for prep work. But who needs to do prep work when you can toss everything in to the PandaMix™?

Don't confuse the PandaMix™ with the PandaMixx™, which is our patented mix tape music experience so you can jive along to your favourite 8 tracks!

PandaPyramidScheme™! Sweet! Is it possible to listen to the PandaMixx™ while using the PandaMix™, or do I need a special player? Also, is there a PandaMixxx™ for when your kitchen gets extra dirty?

I require a Pampered Panda non-stick three and one eighths measuring spoon with built in pizza stone. Please advise.

Is there perhaps a Passionate Panda line of fun and non-threatening marital aids? Something I can purchase in the comfortable home party environment while sipping Pandatinis made from a pouch and wizzed to frothy deliciousness in a PandaMix?

Do you have PandaMakeup to give that characteristic black-eye look? And if I sell enough of it, do I get the PinkPandaMobile?

Oh, and I would love PandaLivingAtHome dishes and Panda-leeKlean EkoWash to clean them with.

(okay, panda dishes actually DO sound amazing!)

It's times like this when I appreciate that we're now allowed to lol.

Perhaps, a Panda-Moany-Yum?

I'm so glad to see so much interest in my excellent products!
It is absolutely possible to listen to the PandaMixx™ while using the PandaMix™, provided you are wired for 1400 cc amps of power per outlet.
We do have PandaKlean™, the sham wow with a panda head embroidered on it. Wow! PandaKlean™!

Hello Steph! The three and one eighths measuring spoon with built in pizza stone, the ComboPanda™, is one of our more popular items. You get a real workout using the 40 pound Tuscan marble stone with each wee scoop of the measuring spoon.

For ladies only! The all pink all private PassionPanda™ line! Don't tell the men! It's ladies night.

While I can't offer you any cars, we do have the PandaPop™! A wee miniature spring loaded boxing glove that pops out to punch you in the eye. We can't sacrifice enough for beauty! It's very steampunk, which all the kids are into these days.

Look lady, I already have a full line of highest quality KapopOil products, all of which were instantly drop shipped by the metric tonne to my front door. All I'm saying is, I'm intrigued, but how do your products and customer service compare to that?

Hello there! We have excellent customer service here! You order through your personal consultant and who then processes your order through their consultant and so on and so forth. In just 8-10 weeks you have your items with free shipping! Just a minimum processing charge for each order. Can't be beat!

Send me free samples! I will review the products on my blog and tell everyone how great your house party was. I can run ads on my blog, too. And if you send me a free pan, I'll tell everyone to make my recipes only with that pan. We can earn tons of money! I can also develop kapop recipes. Kapop brownies! Pancakes! Kapop kale chips! Fat free kapop cheesecake!