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 Post subject: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:58 pm 
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In my lovely, quiet, mostly adult-filled new apartment building, a young couple has moved in next to me. A young couple that loves gaming, complete with surround sound and the most amazing bass vibrations you've ever heard. Or at least I do. All night. To the point where I get anxiety, have to take Benadryl and put in earplugs to try to fall asleep. Background noise doesn't dampen the bass vibrations at all.

I talked to the building manager, as the neighbors game all day and all night. In a dream world, I'd love for them to use headphones when they're gaming but I know that will never happen. The manager said she would speak with them, but realistically I know the vibrations are not going to stop. Any ideas of what I can do to help with the noise, short of moving?


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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 1:12 pm 
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we had similar issues and we just kept telling on him to the management company until it finally stopped. i think his was more music than games, but all we could hear was bass. i feel like that's unacceptable behavior for an apartment complex. they are perfectly capable of turning down their video games or getting different speakers and saving those surround sound ones for when they buy a house.

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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 2:11 pm 
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Ugh, I am so sorry. That is really inconsiderate! Maybe they don't realize how loud it is? Have you had a word with them? If someone told me something I was doing was bothering them, I'd find a way to stop it having an impact on them. I seriously hope most people aren't crassholes, but I might be wrong.

I live next to a family who don't care that their barbecue smoke goes right into our house and makes it impossible for me to breathe though. They refuse to move their grill to the other side of their yard. But I think that kind of jerkishness is rare.

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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 2:16 pm 
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I don't know...I see more and more evidence of us living in an entitled society. I live in an area where homes are incredibly expensive, so many people will never be able to afford their own 4 walls (including me, if I end up staying here). I think people often do things according to their own preferences, and if others don't like it, then too bad. I'm sorry you have to deal with that tofulish. I don't like the world we live in today very much.


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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 4:12 pm 
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That is such a disturbing thought. I've always had such nice neighbors when I lived in apartments.

But there is definitely an aspect of entitlement that I see - especially while driving. It scares me how many people are really angry at others on the road and how many are deeply engrossed in texting etc (there were 14 accidents around my house last weekend, many from distracted driving).

I hope that you find a good solution and can go back to enjoying your home. It's awful to not feel peace in your own home, and you shouldn't have to be sleeping in headsets or taking Benadryl to get rest. Sending you many good thoughts!

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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 4:23 pm 
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SD, I have the same experience with entitled, loud neighbors. I have complained to management multiple time and they refuse to take action. I would say talk to your neighbors, but if I'm being honest I'm too chicken shiitake to do it myself, so I won't suggest it to anyone else! Basically here to commiserate with you! <3

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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 9:05 am 
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Have you talked to them? What did they say?

They can probably just turn the bass down and keep the volume loud to reduce issues.


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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 12:26 pm 
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I didn't approach them as I don't know them and how they'd react. They were at it again this morning. I could hear it when I got home from work at 330am and I couldn't fall asleep until 5 am because all I could hear were the vibrations. I'd literally be just about asleep and then be awoken by it. I am one cranky bisque today. The talk with the manager obviously did nothing.


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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:04 pm 
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I would keep bothering the manager until it stops. I would also ask them to turn it down (I know it's hard because you don't know how they'll react) and if they don't then I would call the police. There's no reason it should be that loud. My apartment is tiny and the three of us are all gamers and we're able to play at all sorts of times without disturbing each other.

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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:13 pm 
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I know confrontation can be nerve-wracking, but if you were doing something that bothered your neighbor, would you prefer they come over and politely explain the problem or that your scary landlord/manager show up at your door with an 'anonymous' complaint? If you talk to them and they're jerks about it, then by all means go through management. But I don't see why you should be escalating the problem if you haven't tried the simplest, most neighborly thing to do first. Maybe by meeting you as a person they're more likely to think about your presence on the other side of the wall as a concrete reality rather than an abstract concept.

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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:25 pm 
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Yeah, people often aren't aware of how much noise can go through walls. While I try not to be create massive amounts of noise in my apartment, I also assume that the noise level is fine unless someone tells me something different--I have no idea how much noise my neighbors can hear, or if the wall we share is their bedroom wall or something else, or what their sleep schedules are like, or how easily annoyed by noise they are. If someone complained to the management before just knocking on my door I would be pretty pissed.

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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:31 pm 
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My sympathies. I've had roommates abuse their bass and now the sound makes me froth at the mouth. With neighbours I've usually just kept escalating to management because it was usually music, usually loud obnoxious parties and I didn't feel safe dealing with drunks, but maybe if it's just a couple who are oblivious to how much noise they are making, it would be easier just to explain to them how much they are disturbing you and putting a face on the problem.

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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 4:15 pm 
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If you talk to the manager again, stress what time this occurs-- it's totally unreasonable to have speakers blaring in the middle of the night. That is probably violating local noise ordinances.


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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 6:48 pm 
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Add me to the people who would be peeved if my neighbor didn't come (politely) talk to me before complaining to the manager or landlord. It seems like you're making a lot of negative assumptions about this couple, and that's not really fair. Also you have no idea if or how your management company is dealing with this.


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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 7:14 pm 
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For whatever reason in my apartment complex they stress that they just want you to come to them rather than talking to your neighbors. I guess because they've had issues in the past. When I had this issue, I was going to talk to the neighbor, but by talking to them first, I found out someone else had already complained and they were taking care of it. Anyway, I ended up having to talk to them 3 times, but it eventually worked. Honestly, there's just no reason they NEED to have booming bass surround sound in an apartment, so hopefully the management (or the neighbors if you go directly to them) will take you more seriously this time and ask them again to stop it.

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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 7:15 pm 
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I always assume the best of people but they really may not realize how annoying and impactful the bass is, since your stereo doesn't have to be loud for your subwoofer to be working hard.

I've definitely been a complainer about bass vibrations in the past and the people producing it really didn't realize how much it carried.

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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 7:23 pm 
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I think it's perfectly fine to go through management, it's part of why they are there. I would never knock on someone's door and ask them to be aware of how they effect me. Who doesn't know bass is loud? And at 3:30 in the morning! They know and don't care and just hope they can keep getting away with it. Of course people pretend they don't know when confronted, what else would they say?

If the situation was reversed, I would also rather hear something like that from my landlord. I don't like being approached by people unless it's sunshine and roses but landlords exist to be pains in the arse. And I want to follow the rules of the complex, not just a neighbors preference. If that makes sense.

I really hope you get resolution soon. Fingers crossed!


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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 8:03 pm 
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Alin wrote:
Who doesn't know bass is loud? And at 3:30 in the morning! They know and don't care and just hope they can keep getting away with it. Of course people pretend they don't know when confronted, what else would they say?


Well, that's quite the assumption/rosy view of humanity.

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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 8:23 pm 
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Yikes. I didn't mean to open such a can of worms. Thank you all for the advice. I'll let you know if there's a resolution.


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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 9:40 am 
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ijustdiedinside wrote:
For whatever reason in my apartment complex they stress that they just want you to come to them rather than talking to your neighbors.

Same with my property management. They want us to call them for any complaints and not go directly to our neighbors about it. I think it has to do with issues flaring up between residents they want to be the neutral mediator sort of thing. I, personally, am not offended if management comes to me to complain about anything before a neighbor would--I understand that could be an awkward situation and it's okay by me for a neutral party who is hired to look after these things does so.

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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 10:20 am 
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There are incredibly thin walls at my place. It's quite likely someone wouldn't know how well sound travels where I live. I would go to the office, if that didn't work speak to them directly, and if that didn't work call the cops. Because I doubt the office will get it done and I wouldn't call the cops before speaking to them directly. But the cops will stop it if they're called more than once. I'm pretty sure the fines or criminal charges would discourage someone from waking their neighbors up with noise at 3am again.


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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 7:46 pm 
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jordanpattern wrote:
Alin wrote:
Who doesn't know bass is loud? And at 3:30 in the morning! They know and don't care and just hope they can keep getting away with it. Of course people pretend they don't know when confronted, what else would they say?


Well, that's quite the assumption/rosy view of humanity.


I have a hard time believing anyone is clueless enough to not know it's unacceptable to play bass at 3:30 in the morning. That view seems pretty presumptive and dark as well. My experience is people aren't totally unaware. *shrugs*

I think management wants you to go through them to avoid unpleasant confrontations and like someone else said, if more than one person complains that is a real issue. I bet it's tough to have a tenant who tried everything on their own and wants results. They still have a process they have to follow, might as well have that be the first step.


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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 8:17 pm 
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Huh, it's so interesting (and I mean that literally, it's not some sort of knock) that people would rather be contacted by their management company. I think my reaction to a neighbor saying I was doing something to bother them would be to apologize profusely, offer a plan to stop bothering them (and ask for feedback as to whether or not it works) and probably invite them in for a beer or a coffee, if time/circumstances allowed. To me, going to the landlord (or whatever authority figure) first has a tattle-taley feel, like you're trying to get me in trouble, rather than solve a problem. I'm also a renter in an area where I will probably never be able to afford a house, and I've been at the mercy of various levels of shitty landlord most of my adult life. Generally, I feel like the less I have to do with them, the better (I certainly don't want them to view me as any sort of problem tenant) - whereas I want to have a good relationship with neighbors.

As for not being aware if your noise travels to other apartments - I think that's totally possible. For example - SD mentions that this is a young couple - maybe they have little or no experience living in apartments.

But regardless of what others have said in this thread, I still think the best chance for getting what you want in any situation is to first ask the person or people you want that thing from. That way there's less room for miscommunication.


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 Post subject: Re: Neighbors and gaming noise
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 2:22 pm 
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Not that this is what the op was asking about but I personally wouldn't care if the neighbor or management came to me. I've mostly lived in really shitty areas though with really terrible people around so going to management would be for my safety, etc. If I was on the receiving end I wouldn't mind management coming to me because I understand why someone would do that.

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