| Register  | FAQ  | Search | Login 
It is currently Mon Oct 20, 2014 9:14 pm

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 102 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 11:52 pm 
Offline
Addicted to B12 Enemas
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2012 12:31 am
Posts: 240
My husband ate an entire durian fruit and was letting off durian farts the next day for hours. Which was actually really bad, considering he was on a nine hour flight.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 12:06 am 
Offline
Addicted to B12 Enemas
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2012 12:31 am
Posts: 240
So my husband and I lived together from day one. I was crashing at his place on my overseas trip and then we, you know, ended up married and stuff. Anyway, I had flown around the world and had a seriously bad case of constipation. I hadn't pooped in eight days and I could feel a soccerball of hard poop in my butt. So I limped down to a pharmacy and asked for constipation medication. Luckily the pharmacist spoke English. He gave me a packet and said "take 8 of these tablets, you will need to go to the toilet about 6 hours after that". No problem, I gulped them down right there and limped back home.

Anyway, husband got home and we were lying on the couch watching tv as you do, and my arse started rumbling. Mind you, this was only two hours after I took the tablets. I ran to the loo, and people, when I tell you I could not control my bowels I mean I could NOT control it. You know how you have to suck a fart back up so bad? I had no control of anti-fart muscle. Not only that, they were so loud and violent that I thought my butt was hanging out of my butt. I was horrified because I was sure husband (well, not back then) could hear me so I did the fake coughing cover up thing. And then I pooped half a toilet worth. All I can say about that moment was a) thank God I was not on your American toilets and b) thank God I was not on a German toilet. This was an Australian style toilet.

So I was cleaned out and thinking omg, how am I going to go out there and face him? So I was all fake cheery like "sorry if you had to hear that" and he was all "what? I didn't hear a thing". Except now he tells people it was so bad he thought I had a powertool in there and he had to put the tv up to the max volume and he still couldn't hear his show.

Oh, and when I learned to speak the local language I translated the constipation medication packet and it said "do not take more than two tablets"...


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 102 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: BossyLhassi, Fizzgig, poopiebitch and 8 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Template made by DEVPPL/ThatBigForum and fancied up by What Cheer