| Register  | FAQ  | Search | Login 
It is currently Tue Oct 21, 2014 10:31 pm

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 102 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 10:04 pm 
Offline
Top of the food chain & doesn't need to prove it
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 11:37 am
Posts: 630
Location: Ontario
MrSneakers just said that he would like to bomb her house... with a bok choy bomb.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 10:05 pm 
Offline
Nailed to the V
User avatar

Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2010 5:19 pm
Posts: 533
Location: TN
I love to fart while I swim laps. I've no idea if people can hear them, especially if it feels like a loud one. Maybe that's why the lifeguards give me funny looks sometimes.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 11:49 pm 
Offline
Trapped On A Desert Island With A Cow
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:49 pm
Posts: 422
Location: Los Angeles
How bout my latest non-fart story? I haven't been farting lately! No idea why, I usually do way too much. This does not bother me.

_________________
I've got a raging clue


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 1:33 am 
Offline
Loves Carrots (in the biblical sense)
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 12:03 am
Posts: 77
On Sunday I took the train from DC to Colombia, SC and for whatever reason, amtrak decided to start assigning seats. the lady next to me farted the entire 10 hours, and they SMELLED. the old people behind me were horrified. I couldn't go anywhere to escape either, I had to keep coming back to said assigned seat.

_________________
You're all like, "ahh, I have too much superoxidedismutase! Initiate programmed cell death!" -Sra. Nooch


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 6:58 am 
Offline
stop: can't. won't. don't.
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 5:11 pm
Posts: 1865
Location: NYC nosebleeds.
the other day i got suuuuper dizzy during one of my night classes and simultaneously felt like i was bloated with gas. the dizziness is (i think) from stress, but i did find that when i could eke out a fart, i felt a little better. so i sat there with my coat on my lap (because space is precious in this room), tooting away as much as i could. i was so worried that when i stood up all my collected farts would be released, but it didn't seem to be so bad...


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 9:55 am 
Offline
Emotionally Allergic to Dairy
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 11:28 pm
Posts: 3178
Location: San Francisco
GUYS

I gave my students a list of vocab words, and their homework was to write sentences using them. One of the words was inconspicuous.

One of the girls submitted this sentence: "I thought that my fart was inconspicuous, but then the smell started to linger."

The most exciting part is that I'm using sentences that they submitted to make the vocab test, and anyone who gets a sentence used on the test gets extra credit, so I can totally award her extra credit for writing about farts.

This job is so rewarding!

_________________
Your heart is a muscle the size of a fist
Keep loving, keep fighting

Be the trouble you want to see in the world.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 10:09 am 
Offline
Drinks Wild Tofurkey
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2010 11:53 am
Posts: 2680
Location: Florida
it would be this morning....and not my own fart.

but my boyfriends lol.

it went on for atleast a good minute it seemed...get quiet and loud...but never stopped really...

it was rather epic...

_________________
All of the little things.

Bananas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH5ay10RTGY


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 4:19 pm 
Offline
Naked Under Apron
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:17 pm
Posts: 1690
Location: Ravenclaw Tower
I farted just now, and it smells exactly like the Amy's no-chicken noodle soup I had for lunch today. Part of me is like, mmmm that kinda smells good, and part of me is NO! EW! It's a fart a FART!

_________________
And we all learn a lesson - don't taste mystery batter off the floor - it could be toxic. -Petunia


Writing Praying Vegan


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 6:16 pm 
Offline
Huffs Nooch
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 1:41 pm
Posts: 142
Location: The North
My boyfriend has woken me up with the stench of his farts. I think we'd had turnips.


When I'm at work I just go in a bay of patients and trump. If it smells I blame it on them.

"I think Doris might need a freshen up..."


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 10:10 pm 
Offline
Can ride a bike, drink a Blue Sky, and eat some Stonewall's all the same time (bad ass)
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:08 pm
Posts: 101
Location: Hollywood, CA
My favorite thing that happens is when me or my boyfriend farts while sleeping and you wake yourself up it's so loud.

I work in a gift shop, and I let one out when no customers were in. Right now my farts are really bad, like I have to run away from them they're that bad. So I sprayed some stuff and tried to get the place smelling nice again but to me it just smelled like floral smelling farts. Well, in walks a customer an says "mmmm, it smells so nice in here!"

Bahaha!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 11:47 pm 
Offline
Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2010 4:57 pm
Posts: 6516
Location: Boston, MA
Oh Shiitake wrote:
My favorite thing that happens is when me or my boyfriend farts while sleeping and you wake yourself up it's so loud.


I kind of love this. Or when I'll be mostly asleep but feel the fart slip out and half wake up. At first I feel embarassed, but then I'm back asleep and don't care.

Last night my husband actually woke me up to tell me how bad my farts smelled. He told me to stop eating vegetables! I brought it up this morning, and he was like, oh my god! It just kept getting worse! Don't eat so many vegetables!

_________________
I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 1:21 am 
Offline
Has gasoline in her veins
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:58 pm
Posts: 3333
Location: pdx
One of the dogs farted, now the whole living room smells. =(

_________________
"I rebuke this thread in the name of Jesus." -Jagadeesh


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 12:00 pm 
Offline
Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2010 4:57 pm
Posts: 6516
Location: Boston, MA
Also, I forgot to add, my husband and I were sitting in bed while I was reading this thread, and I start laughing, and he's like, what is that? I'm like, a thread about farts. His response? I can't believe you. Give me the computer.

_________________
I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 12:10 pm 
Offline
The Real Hamburger Helper
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 10:01 pm
Posts: 2213
Location: Maryland
I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning, and apparently the person I live with decided a good way to get me to move so he could pee was to fart near me instead of just saying "Excuse me."

_________________
"Noooo! Karyn, you have to stop posting old Jensen pics. He looks way too smooth in those pics, like if I touch his face it'll feel like silk or bosoms or something."-mixmaster_mo
It's Raining Kale


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 1:24 pm 
Offline
Naked Under Apron
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:17 pm
Posts: 1690
Location: Ravenclaw Tower
designedtobekind wrote:
I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning, and apparently the person I live with decided a good way to get me to move so he could pee was to fart near me instead of just saying "Excuse me."

Efficient.

_________________
And we all learn a lesson - don't taste mystery batter off the floor - it could be toxic. -Petunia


Writing Praying Vegan


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 5:39 pm 
Offline
Huffs Nooch
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 1:41 pm
Posts: 142
Location: The North
I made over-spicy buffalo tempeh and my insides melted.

But that's more of a poop story...


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 5:42 pm 
Offline
Naked Under Apron
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:17 pm
Posts: 1690
Location: Ravenclaw Tower
cidersmurfette wrote:
I made over-spicy buffalo tempeh and my insides melted.

But that's more of a poop story...

There is a poop thread in the Spa, if you dare to care to check it out.

_________________
And we all learn a lesson - don't taste mystery batter off the floor - it could be toxic. -Petunia


Writing Praying Vegan


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 6:02 pm 
Offline
A gift from the crasshole god.

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 11:57 am
Posts: 2523
I can't stop watching videos by that woman!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 6:04 pm 
Offline
Semen Strong
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 19105
Location: Cliffbar NJ
designedtobekind wrote:
I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning, and apparently the person I live with decided a good way to get me to move so he could pee was to fart near me instead of just saying "Excuse me."


Keeper!!!!!

_________________
My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:38 pm 
Online
And you never will.
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:41 pm
Posts: 4475
Location: Memphis
Oh my gosh you guys, my husband just came into the living room to discuss what we were going to have for dinner, and he farted a fart so putrid it made him run back to the bedroom to escape it. Thanks a lot.

_________________
Sometimes I think, it's really my lack of cybernetic implants that keeps me from being truly human. - Mars
One vegan baker to another: "Dude, do you even sift?" - FootFace


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:42 pm 
Offline
Not NOT A Furry
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:29 pm
Posts: 509
Location: Merryland
Turmeric= Super Death Bombs that stay in the room well after the offender has left. Use this information wisely, as it can come back to bite you in the asparagus, if used for evil!

_________________
Go gentle unto the night, children. For the flouncin' hat is sure to unflatter even the finest face ~ Pandacookie
Get with the times, nameless fourth banana ~Tofulish


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:47 pm 
Offline
Semen Strong
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 19105
Location: Cliffbar NJ
Dog farts were terrible today. And of course he wanted to snuggle.

_________________
My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:49 pm 
Offline
Not NOT A Furry
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:29 pm
Posts: 509
Location: Merryland
Two summers ago, my husband gambled and lost while he was driving down state. It wasn't a big accident, but it smelled like hell. He had to stop at an outlet mall to try to clean up in a bathroom and then walk into the Adidas store with poopie pants, to get a new outfit. He said that the sales guy kept giving him hateful/sort of hurt glances while he was helping him, as if to say "Why, why are you doing this to me?". Every time he wears the outfit that he bought there, I say he looks like "the shiitake". No one can figure out why I think "he looks so great" in this outfit. TMI? Maybe so, but I care not!

_________________
Go gentle unto the night, children. For the flouncin' hat is sure to unflatter even the finest face ~ Pandacookie
Get with the times, nameless fourth banana ~Tofulish


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 7:36 pm 
Online
And you never will.
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:41 pm
Posts: 4475
Location: Memphis
mel wrote:
Two summers ago, my husband gambled and lost while he was driving down state...

Best. Story. Of. The. Thread.

_________________
Sometimes I think, it's really my lack of cybernetic implants that keeps me from being truly human. - Mars
One vegan baker to another: "Dude, do you even sift?" - FootFace


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Post your latest fart story!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 5:26 am 
Offline
Has it on Blue Vinyl
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:23 pm
Posts: 2005
Win!

_________________
When it comes to, you know, modern technology, think of me somewhere in the Middle Ages, training my hedgehog friends to knit socks. ~Phoenix


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 102 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Exabot [Bot], kfad and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Template made by DEVPPL/ThatBigForum and fancied up by What Cheer