Who challenges your feminism in your life?

Tofulish · **Posted:** Tue Jul 10, 2012 9:35 pm

Ugh rape jokes. Ugh. From Pharyngula about Daniel Tosh's joke that an audience member should be gang-raped: "It’s just odd that people can have a sense of shame about racism, but it’s still considered hilarious to laugh at the idea of women being gang-raped or that joking about prison rape is good for a laugh."

http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/ ... edy-to-me/

SassyOh · **Posted:** Tue Jul 10, 2012 9:48 pm

strawberryrock wrote:

SassyOh wrote:

Lately, I find myself unable to practice what I preach about positive body image. A friend of mine is really struggling with it, and recently told me that our conversations about weight loss, feminism, and body acceptance have helped her gain some perspective and stop engaging in the disordered eating patterns that were emerging in her diet. I'm happy about that, but I still can't seem to get over my own self-loathing and fat-phobia. I feel like a hypocrite and a poor example of a feminist.

I have a lot of thoughts about that! This is a very condensed version of them.

When you look at a woman with body image issues, do you think that she must not be feminist enough? Or do you think she is struggling with something because we live in a culture where we are taught so much to hate our bodies that we can't necessarily undo it with some critical thinking? I bet if you're a feminist your thoughts are more aligned with the latter. I should hope that when you look at a woman with body image issues you would feel some compassion and not judge her for feeling that way, right?

So maybe extend that compassion to yourself?

If feminism made you immune from feeling bad about your body that would be awesome, but I don't think that's how it works.

Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
In my meditation group, we talk a lot about extending the same compassion to ourselves that we would extend to others, and nearly all of us have a great deal of difficulty doing so. You said it very well: I can't undo all the negativity I've learned with critical thinking. It's just so frustrating. It's helpful to find support here, so thank you all.

Niev · **Posted:** Wed Jul 11, 2012 12:16 am

Everyone doing the summer program at my university challenges my feminism, apparently.

There's a rumor going around that I'm gay because everyone knows I'm a feminist and because I wore a CLEARLY Planned Parenthood shirt that said "The Vagina Experts". Like, seriously? I already know that a shocking amount of people think all feminists are gay, but at WashU? It's really disappointing. Also, I'm angry that anyone thinks they have the right to assume my sexuality and then talk about it.

quark · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2010 7:31 am **Posts:** 642

Niev wrote:

Everyone doing the summer program at my university challenges my feminism, apparently.

There's a rumor going around that I'm gay because everyone knows I'm a feminist and because I wore a CLEARLY Planned Parenthood shirt that said "The Vagina Experts". Like, seriously? I already know that a shocking amount of people think all feminists are gay, but at WashU? It's really disappointing. Also, I'm angry that anyone thinks they have the right to assume my sexuality and then talk about it.

This sucks.

Also, I went to WashU! Sadly, this doesn't surprise me that much... there's a lot of messed up frat culture there.

Mr. Shankly · **Posted:** Wed Jul 11, 2012 3:49 pm

****TRIGGER WARNING*****

Quote:

"The interactive "Beat Up Anita Sarkeesian" game: This one is so incredible I had trouble believing it existed. It's an interactive game, inviting players to "beat up Anita Sarkeesian". As you click the screen, bruises and welts appear on her face. I find this fairly disturbing - the idea that somewhere out there is a man - a 25-year-old from Sault Ste Marie, a city in Ontario, Canada, who was offended enough by Sarkeesian's Kickstarter project that he made this.

http://www.newstatesman.com/blogs/inter ... ment-looks

Tofulish · **Posted:** Wed Jul 11, 2012 4:31 pm

That is so messed up. I think it underscores the point of the Pharyngula article I posted above - why is it funny to beat up or rape a woman (or rape a man if he is in jail) but we all agree its not funny to beat on someone for their race? I think the two should be considered equally distasteful, and I am so saddened that anyone would make a game like this and that others would find it fun and play it.

Mr. Shankly · **Posted:** Wed Jul 11, 2012 4:38 pm

In this case I don't know how much they care about race, either, since they've made a lot of anti-Jewish and Holocaust "jokes"/statements about her.

rachell37 · **Posted:** Wed Jul 11, 2012 4:56 pm

This article about the man who squirted his girlfriend with brown sauce for reading 50 Shades of Grey. People seem to think it's funny that this dude went to his gf's house and assaulted her for reading a book he disapproved of. Regardless of what substance he used, his intention was to shame her for her choice of reading material. Possibly more problematic is that she claims he smacked her first, and the article kinda glosses over it as if it gets in the way of their funny story.

elouise · **Posted:** Wed Jul 11, 2012 6:45 pm

I really wish people would understand that making rape "jokes" doesn't make a comedian edgy or boundary pushing. Rape culture is the status quo - there's nothing edgy about perpetuating the status quo! That's the opposite of edgy! Aside from being problematic and hurtful, that shiitake is just lazy and unoriginal.

Erika Soyf*cker · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 11:17 am

elouise wrote:

I really wish people would understand that making rape "jokes" doesn't make a comedian edgy or boundary pushing. Rape culture is the status quo - there's nothing edgy about perpetuating the status quo! That's the opposite of edgy! Aside from being problematic and hurtful, that shiitake is just lazy and unoriginal.

Word.

My friend and I were discussing this Douche.0 stuff and he reminded me of this great quote from W. Kamau Bell in Mother Jones: "I have a friend who described how comedy should work using a picture: It was a cartoon bald eagle swooping down from the sky on a mouse, and the mouse is giving the eagle the finger. That's funny! But when it's the eagle giving the mouse the finger as he's coming down to eat it..."

Mr. Shankly · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 1:40 pm

I can't believe people are defending this....guy. This is a really good, short article explaining why some of the defenses/excuses that people are coming out with aren't acceptable: http://thinkprogress.org/alyssa/2012/07 ... arassment/

elouise · **Posted:** Thu Jul 12, 2012 7:27 pm

I just came across this quote on Tumblr, and it seems fitting:

Quote:

Dude, you’re so edgy and politically incorrect. It’s totally ironic and satirical how you regurgitated those ancient and threadbare stereotypes. It reminds me of my great great great great grandpa, Cracker von Patriarch, who also challenged the status quo by embracing it with loving tenderness.

"Cracker von Patriarch" makes me laugh and laugh.

Shy Mox · **Posted:** Fri Jul 13, 2012 12:33 am

elouise wrote:

I just came across this quote on Tumblr, and it seems fitting:

Quote:

Dude, you’re so edgy and politically incorrect. It’s totally ironic and satirical how you regurgitated those ancient and threadbare stereotypes. It reminds me of my great great great great grandpa, Cracker von Patriarch, who also challenged the status quo by embracing it with loving tenderness.

"Cracker von Patriarch" makes me laugh and laugh.

Hahahaha, when I checked this thread earlier I thought I should find that quote!

Kittykins · **Posted:** Mon Jul 16, 2012 3:48 am

I am doing a course at the moment to improve my confidence. This guy on my course is super sexist and it is really pissing me off. If me or the other women on the course answer a question, he questions if they are right. He told me I was a good woman for doing 3 huge sinks of dishes because I couldn't stand the mess anymore. He has also shushed his wife in front the entire class when she was answering the tutor's question. Thank god I only have two more weeks to go.

Gulliver · **Posted:** Mon Jul 16, 2012 10:23 am

Kittykins wrote:

I am doing a course at the moment to improve my confidence. This guy on my course is super sexist and it is really pissing me off. If me or the other women on the course answer a question, he questions if they are right. He told me I was a good woman for doing 3 huge sinks of dishes because I couldn't stand the mess anymore. He has also shushed his wife in front the entire class when she was answering the tutor's question. Thank god I only have two more weeks to go.

Complain, complain, complain, complain. Complain to the organisers. Complain now. Complain hard. It is not acceptable to have someone acting like that on a course for improving confidence.

Desdemona · **Posted:** Mon Jul 16, 2012 10:29 am

elouise wrote:

I just came across this quote on Tumblr, and it seems fitting:

Quote:

Dude, you’re so edgy and politically incorrect. It’s totally ironic and satirical how you regurgitated those ancient and threadbare stereotypes. It reminds me of my great great great great grandpa, Cracker von Patriarch, who also challenged the status quo by embracing it with loving tenderness.

"Cracker von Patriarch" makes me laugh and laugh.

This is my new go-to shorthand for...well, Cracker von Patriarch!

jogirl · **Posted:** Mon Jul 16, 2012 3:02 pm

Gulliver wrote:

Kittykins wrote:

I am doing a course at the moment to improve my confidence. This guy on my course is super sexist and it is really pissing me off. If me or the other women on the course answer a question, he questions if they are right. He told me I was a good woman for doing 3 huge sinks of dishes because I couldn't stand the mess anymore. He has also shushed his wife in front the entire class when she was answering the tutor's question. Thank god I only have two more weeks to go.

Complain, complain, complain, complain. Complain to the organisers. Complain now. Complain hard. It is not acceptable to have someone acting like that on a course for improving confidence.

What Gulliver said, a billion times. This is totally unacceptable. the tutor needs to take control of the group.

b.vicious · **Posted:** Tue Jul 17, 2012 8:55 am

some crasshole on facebook wrote:

Tattoos, though they may have a personal association with the person that they are on, if they are on display then are not private. It is on public display.

The moment someone equates existing in public to putting your body/parts of your body on "public display" I lose all ability to write coherently.

SassyOh · **Posted:** Tue Jul 17, 2012 10:07 am

Teaching preschool I run into a lot of outmoded ideas and challenges to feminism. I've been told on several occasions by several parents that I'll never know or understand love if I don't have a child, that fathers/husbands/presumably men in general are incompetent dullards who CAN'T properly care for children, that boys are 'different' or 'easier' than girls, that girls are vicious gossips by nature (keep in mind we're speaking of one- to five-year-olds here), and that boys need to be more active than girls. Yesterday I overheard a parent bemoaning 'those women who wanted equal rights' who 'should have kept their mouths shut' because this parent is 'forced' to work and do all the housework and grocery shopping. There's more, but that's the upshot of it. I wanted to scream.

jordanpattern · **Posted:** Tue Jul 17, 2012 2:24 pm

Amen, SassyOh. That sounds really frustrating.

I am sick to death of ads and blogs and media targeted at women hocking food you "don't have to feel guilty about." I am so goddamn sick of the assumption that all women want to lose weight and have forked up relationships with food. Screw YOU, patriarchy.

Shy Mox · **Posted:** Wed Jul 18, 2012 12:23 pm

A feminist I volunteer with and really like and respect posted something that really bothered me on our facebook group, and I stayed up late writing up a response, sleeping on it, and finishing it up today, and sweating and considering not saying anything more than I already did. Its really easy for me to call out strangers and even acquaintances and class mates out on white privilege, but its really really hard when its a person like this. I couldn't sleep last night and my anxiety is bad.

Mr. Shankly · **Posted:** Wed Jul 18, 2012 12:50 pm

Someone on Facebook just posted a link to a feminist blog and wrote, "This is why I can't take "feminism" seriously." fork you.

primesaut · **Posted:** Wed Jul 18, 2012 3:12 pm

(I could have sworn there was a thread about the heinous legislation that would require women to undergo a transvaginal ultrasound before having an abortion, but I couldn't find it. I hope this isn't too unrelated to post here...)

We've all heard about the alarming number of ways in which American women's right to choose is being targeted. It's not comedy material by any means, but this brilliant piece was posted by amazing author Libba Bray, and I dare you not to laugh (only as long as you can forget that it's all true).

kilgore trout · **Posted:** Sun Jul 22, 2012 11:28 pm

"Yeah! When are they going to make rape illegal?"--My cousin in response to this image:

I am doing my damnedest to reply in a firm but non-hostile manner, because he's one of the only cousins I'm on friendly terms with, but god DAMN. I don't even know where to start.

Jigglypuff · **Posted:** Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:47 am

This blogger says she's not going to college because she wants to live under her father's rule until he gives her away to a husband. Barrrrrf.
http://trueloveskissblog.blogspot.com/2 ... llege.html

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