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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2015 10:48 pm 
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That is pretty awful, 'fulish. That person would get along swimmingly with my old douchey boss-dude:

Him: When are you due?
Her: I... had my son 11 weeks ago.
[they move on to talking business but after a few minutes...]
Him: Are you sure you're not still pregnant?
Her: ...

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2015 11:20 pm 
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monkeytoes wrote:
That is pretty awful, 'fulish. That person would get along swimmingly with my old douchey boss-dude:

Him: When are you due?
Her: I... had my son 11 weeks ago.
[they move on to talking business but after a few minutes...]
Him: Are you sure you're not still pregnant?
Her: ...


I had a customer ask me when I was due when my son was nine months old. In his (flimsy) defense, I was wearing a babydoll dress - because it was 1994 and that's what we did - and I was probably a size 18 at the time. I was so taken aback when he asked, though, that I said the first thing that popped into my head: "Uh, nine months ago."

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2015 11:42 pm 
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monkeytoes wrote:
That is pretty awful, 'fulish. That person would get along swimmingly with my old douchey boss-dude:

Him: When are you due?
Her: I... had my son 11 weeks ago.
[they move on to talking business but after a few minutes...]
Him: Are you sure you're not still pregnant?
Her: ...


I've heard of Double Stuffed but this is ridiculous

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2015 5:07 am 
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Ouch! My friend, when working in a bar, was once asked by a man "Are you in the family way?" to which she replied "Nope, I'm just fat" then flipped the bird at him.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 31, 2015 3:25 pm 
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Yeah, that is my standard response: Nope, just fat!
Although I usually say it in a friendly manner and don't flip people off.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 3:25 am 
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I'm wearing a super cute strappy dress with a cardigan over it. I felt really good about how I looked today. Then I went in to ask someone a question, and the other person in the room said, "I don't mean to be rude but it looks like your boobs are about to fall out". I wasn't bent over - I was standing completely upright - I just happen to have big boobs that weren't entirely concealed. I told her that they were completely contained. But thanks for making me feel like shiitake*!

*I didn't actually say this to her, but I kinda get the feeling that she's the type of person who would want me to feel like shiitake but pretend that I took it the wrong way if I had said anything.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 3:43 am 
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rachell37 wrote:
I'm wearing a super cute strappy dress with a cardigan over it. I felt really good about how I looked today. Then I went in to ask someone a question, and the other person in the room said, "I don't mean to be rude but it looks like your boobs are about to fall out". I wasn't bent over - I was standing completely upright - I just happen to have big boobs that weren't entirely concealed. I told her that they were completely contained. But thanks for making me feel like shiitake*!

*I didn't actually say this to her, but I kinda get the feeling that she's the type of person who would want me to feel like shiitake but pretend that I took it the wrong way if I had said anything.


I'm sure you looked awesome and she was just being an arse. Along those lines, "I don't mean to be rude but ..." always makes me think of this:
Dumbledore wrote:
“Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often. Best to say nothing at all, my dear man.”

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2015 12:08 pm 
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I overheard two Dutch (I'm only saying they're Dutch because this meant they probably didn't think I'd understand them) teenage girls talking rudely about my body, how they'd never let themselves go like this and how I'd probably be one of these people who complains about not losing weight even though I just eat too much, etc. It was really bizarre. And then they said how people who are fat just have no self control, etc. I just don't understand how people think talking about people like this is ok. I really wanted to go up there and tell them they have no idea what they are talking about. Everyone has the right to look like they want, but no, being the weight I am now is no choice. After a decade of bulimia i realized the only way to stop this was to eat "normally" even though I had a horrible metabolism thanks to my autoimmune disease. Now I'm fat and while I'm trying to lose weight it's so hard not to fall back into eating disordered behaviour of whatever kind.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2015 1:03 pm 
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I'm so sorry that happened to you vib :( what nasty little girls. That would be upsetting for anyone let alone someone who has suffered with an ED. People can be so cruel.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2015 1:15 pm 
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I guess I just don't understand what people get out of body shaming others? Feeling less insecure about themselves?

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2015 1:19 pm 
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A projection of their own lack of confidence perhaps?

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2015 1:21 pm 
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This would explain why most people who say shiitake like this to me are teenage girls in groups... I mean, there are a lot of guys who say creepy stuff to me but the straight "oh gosh, thank god I'm not like this!" always comes from girls.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2015 1:40 pm 
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I'm so sorry that happened to you VeganInBerlin. Children and teens can be so insensitive.

I know when I was 15 (1985) the greatest fear most of us girls had was becoming fat. And I think we thought we could keep that at bay if we just maintained a steady fear and revulsion. I'm so sorry to learn how very little has changed.

I am at present an obese woman, due to psych meds and depression and a tendency to emotionally overeat, but I've been fortunate that I've not really experienced much fat shaming. I think if I was younger it would be a different story though. I think being a woman under 35 and not meeting the conventional norms in appearance would be difficult at times.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2015 1:51 pm 
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VeganinBerlin wrote:
I guess I just don't understand what people get out of body shaming others? Feeling less insecure about themselves?


I think this is an enormous part of it. My mom is a perfect example- she has some serious body issues and has even had major surgery to try and correct some of them. She walks with a noticeable limp and generally attracts stares from uncouth people for looking slightly different.

And yet she can be one of the most judgmental, shallow people I know (she was strangely obsessed with Jessica Simpson a few years ago, I found a People magazine with snide comments about her post-baby body written in the margin). I know it's a defense mechanism, and it comes from deep hurt and pain about her own body issues, but it's still shitty to make yourself feel better at someone else's expense.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 07, 2015 11:09 pm 
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So, how about that horrid fat-shaming video by a youtube attention hors d'oeuvre?

One of my fb friends (who is a personal trainer) posted it with a comment basically agreeing with the video. I hadn't heard anything about it, and watched about 45 seconds before stopping the video and unfriending the person who thought it was something worth agreeing with. I haven't been so disgusted in a long time.

(eta: I don't want to link anything or even mention her name, because I don't want to add a single click more traffic to her pages. If you haven't seen it or heard about it, just be glad.)

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2015 4:09 am 
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A few pages I follow on FB have shared that video. I was going to watch it but I don't really want to give her anymore views.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2015 5:08 am 
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I saw that. It's really bringing the unexpected nasties out of the woodwork, ugh.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2015 5:22 am 
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If you look at this article, you'll see Whitney Way Thore's response which is very positive. Also, the original person says their video is 'satire'? huh? what?

http://www.people.com/article/nicole-ar ... tube-video

There is also this, which is Amber Rogers from GoKaleo, giving a short snippet about her thoughts. Basically, negative people will be gone in a second, positive people are around forever.
https://video-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hvideo-xlf1/v/t42.1790-2/11971883_906341489450196_170443621_n.mp4?efg=eyJybHIiOjU1OSwicmxhIjoyMTMyfQ%3D%3D&rl=559&vabr=311&oh=7bc0d40266584a4645d97f2ac9c40d85&oe=55EED0B9

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2015 9:49 pm 
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Whitney's response was pretty good (althought she had a touch of body shaming in there herself).

And as far as the "satire" aspect goes... if you have to explain to people that you're a comedian, then you aren't. Some comedians are jaded, bitter, angry people (who are also really funny), but not all jaded, bitter, angry people are comedians.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2015 10:23 pm 
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My mother. Fat shaming people who wear shorts (when it's hot as balls outside). My head--and heart--hurts.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Sep 09, 2015 10:41 am 
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I accidentally read one of the comments on the rebuttal to that video. It was some person insisting that everyone who is fat is fat because they eat a ton of junk food and never exercise. And that is the biggest pile of horse shiitake ever. But I keep stewing about it, like, wanting to respond, but knowing that person doesn't deserve the time.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 11, 2015 7:51 pm 
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Meghan Tonjes' (two!) videos in reply to that Trash Video are pretty great. I'm just saying.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 12, 2015 10:46 am 
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I keep going to watch the video to see what all of the fuss is about but every time I stop because I don't want to get angry and hate the world.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Sep 13, 2015 3:02 pm 
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I watched it. Nasty piece of work that woman, with her faux concern for other people's health. I can't understand why anyone would find it funny, even if they were not offended by it.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Sep 13, 2015 11:45 pm 
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Wow. I have been (successfully) using OK Cupid for almost 2 years. This week is the first time that someone sent me a message expressly to fat shame me (mind you, I've gotten fetishizing/objectifying messages the sender probably thought were flattering before). And it was so weird and dumb and childish, I just can't muster many feelings other than mild irritation and eye rolls.


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