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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Apr 05, 2015 4:10 pm 
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The post by the woman who was verbally abused at the drug store really bothers me. I don't think the age of the male was mentioned. Some would say it doesn't matter, but to me it does. If this individual is comfortable abusing a stranger in public, I can't help but wonder how he conducts himself in his own home, in the work place. I hope he is not in a position to hire others. I hope he never has a ill family member or child. How would they suddenly be treated?

But I also wonder how many people think things and never say anything. That matters also. Because if someone thinks it but won't overtly say it, it can still come out in their actions. Like the guy who was probably well into his 30's who removed me from the table at a vegan event to replace my spot with some tween age looking girl. Probably his daughter. Now there is a good lesson for her on how to treat people.

I also wonder how many people would have caught the vegans should be advocates by their "appearance" comment that I endured at a vegan event. (a place I'll never be able to return to) The speaker wasn't talking about hair color.

It can be tough out there when you don't have the right appearance. I've even tried to stop not using animal products and I can't. (it's been over 9 years and almost 4 with no support) So now I feel stuck in something I can garner no support from. Any other self identified fat people feel that way?

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Apr 05, 2015 4:48 pm 
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Teresa wrote:
It can be tough out there when you don't have the right appearance. I've even tried to stop not using animal products and I can't. (it's been over 9 years and almost 4 with no support) So now I feel stuck in something I can garner no support from. Any other self identified fat people feel that way?


Hi Teresa, I just wanted to jump in and offer my support. While I don't self-identify as "fat", I understand to an extent the feeling of not fitting in with the mainstream vegan movement. I am very sorry that you were treated so badly by vegans, ignorant people like that don't represent me or how I live my vegan life. Have you ever read the Fat Girl Posing blog? It is written by a fat-identifying vegan who discusses the intersections between fat identity and veganism.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 6:54 am 
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I'm a nearly 40 year old, morbidly obese women and I'll say the ppk has kept me sane for years. The ppk seems to have a variety of people on it and definitely a lot of us on the chunky side. I see ppkers multiple times per year. I am going to Asheville NC in July to meet up with ppkers around the US, as we camp out for the weekend. It probably won't be the only time I see ppkers this year though.

I've felt weird some other times being around vegans I didn't know. I just figure there are so many types of vegans, I just had to find my type. I also had a great time at our local farm sanctuary thanksgiving the one year I went. But I haven't been back because it was a little hectic at the size it was and it has only gotten bigger.

Have you tried to meet up with any ppkers locally to you?

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 2:40 pm 
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linanil wrote:
I've felt weird some other times being around vegans I didn't know. I just figure there are so many types of vegans, I just had to find my type.


That is one thing I have learned, vegans are just ordinary people, no better, worse or different to anybody else. Just because someone is a vegan doesn't automatically mean that you will like them or have much in common with them.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 1:10 pm 
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Teresa wrote:

But I also wonder how many people think things and never say anything. That matters also. Because if someone thinks it but won't overtly say it, it can still come out in their actions. Like the guy who was probably well into his 30's who removed me from the table at a vegan event to replace my spot with some tween age looking girl. Probably his daughter. Now there is a good lesson for her on how to treat people.

I also wonder how many people would have caught the vegans should be advocates by their "appearance" comment that I endured at a vegan event. (a place I'll never be able to return to) The speaker wasn't talking about hair color.

It can be tough out there when you don't have the right appearance. I've even tried to stop not using animal products and I can't. (it's been over 9 years and almost 4 with no support) So now I feel stuck in something I can garner no support from. Any other self identified fat people feel that way?


Teresa, i'm sorry that happened to you but you've brought up this exact event multiple times. I think perhaps it's time to let it go and move on instead of constantly rehashing something. You can't go back and change it and it's not productive. I challenge you to make your next five posts about only positive things that have happened.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 2:27 pm 
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Teresa wrote:
The post by the woman who was verbally abused at the drug store really bothers me. I don't think the age of the male was mentioned. Some would say it doesn't matter, but to me it does. If this individual is comfortable abusing a stranger in public, I can't help but wonder how he conducts himself in his own home, in the work place. I hope he is not in a position to hire others. I hope he never has a ill family member or child. How would they suddenly be treated?


I didn't mention it because it doesn't matter. I also left out any description of him because it also doesn't matter, but my impression is that he actually didn't have a home or workplace - he had all the hallmarks of someone who has been on the streets for a long time. But I don't know that for sure, so I didn't mention it. And I didn't want to further the stigmatization of - and cliched thinking around - either street people or people with possible mental illness. While I have been attacked, accosted, and belittled by seemingly "normal" people - although how stable are you if you're verbally abusing strangers? - this man appeared to have a host of problems, and mentioning them was unnecessary and arguably unkind.

Teresa, I've read many posts about the terrible experience you had at the Farm Sanctuary event. I'm so sorry that happened to you. It seems to have affected you deeply, and it's so sad that it still haunts you and that you feel it has robbed you of something you once cherished. And it's true that there are a lot of vegans - prominent ones - who engage in fat-bashing, size-shaming, and body-policing. And that's incredibly hard to deal with. Gary Francione has said some vicious, ugly things about bodies of size, and he's still an idol in the movement. And that's too bad, but it's not veganism's fault, and it's not the animals' fault. I've had vegans tell me, to my face, that I'm "doing veganism wrong" because I'm fat. And that's really, really forked up. But that's not about me. That's about them, and society, and culturally acceptable hatred and abuse. And the best way I know to fight that shiitake is to keep being present, visible, and fiercely vocal. I have every right to be in public, to be a vocal vegan activist, to live without abuse. And I'm going to keep living my life out loud - really fat, really big, really happy, really passionate - until things change.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 5:55 pm 
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I'm pretty over my female colleagues talking about body size and fatness around me.

Colleage 1: "UGH I HAVE to lose some weight before vacation because if I went out in shorts like this, I'd look like such a disgusting fat pig" (she is much smaller than I am)
Colleague 2: "Ew seriously. Fat people in shorts."
Me: "Ummm, I'm fat and I wear shorts."
Colleague 1: "You are SO not fat!" (Yes I am)
Colleague 2: "Don't be so mean to yourself, you aren't fat!"

What the fork ever.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 5:58 pm 
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Mine do that too. They are also much smaller than I am. I'm not sure if there is an element of humble bragging or not, but I know they both wear size 2, and I'm not really sure who goes around yelling out their clothing size at work.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 6:11 pm 
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One of my friends recently lost a lot of weight, and seems to not be doing very well. So I just asked a very neutral, how are you doing? And she said great and mentioned that she'd lost a lot of weight doing yoga. So I said "oh wow, that's awesome! I've been doing yoga too. What style were you doing, because mine isn't very calorie intensive!" And she said "The kind that involves not eating." She attributed the not eating to stress.

I know she has a history of ED, and don't really know what to do, besides just be non-judgmental, but I wonder if I should be saying something. I'm feeling a bit shocked right now. And I'm aware of my own history of messed up eating patterns, so I'm trying to support her but not get triggered myself. I'm going to talk to my therapist about it, but if anyone has better ideas on how to handle this, I'd really appreciate it!

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 6:14 pm 
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I would stay out of it unless she specifically asks for support in some way.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 7:37 pm 
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From the interaction you had with her already it doesn't sound like she wants to talk about it with you, at least for now.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 8:50 pm 
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paprikapapaya wrote:
Colleague 2: "Don't be so mean to yourself, you aren't fat!"


Ugh that sentence. Like you saying "I'm fat" is fishing for a compliment rather than pointing out their shitty judgmental attitude.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 9:20 pm 
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Thanks for the gut check. I appreciate that. I wasn't sure whether her mentioning that she wasn't eating much was her wanting me to ask more about it. I know she is superstressed right now, so I'm just going to reach out in friendship generally and not broach the subject.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 9:42 am 
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I work in an open concept office and a couple of ladies that sit near me are ALWAYS on about calories and being "good" or "bad" with food, how they need to lose weight, etc. And they're both quite small and fit. About once a month, one of them loudly announces that she's completely giving up sugar for the next 30 days. I don't think it lasts too long because the next month she makes the same announcement. AND she keeps a bowl of caramels on her desk for passers by to grab. She ends up eating some and then complaining about how bad she was for eating sugar while on her sugar ban or whatever.

I've come to the conclusion that she must just like to complain about these things? I'm not sure. I try to tune it out but some days it's hard.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2015 2:25 am 
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So it turns out greeting cards are really forking body shaming. I was getting a card for a coworker who is leaving and some weirdo lady wanted to share a laugh with me over all the fat shaming cards. They're all along the lines of, think your birthday is bad? Well this is worse! Har har. And the lady. Jesus. I won't write what she said but it was just so awful and mean and dehumanizing.

I said I thought those cards were mean spirited and walked off but I wish I'd had the guts to address her hatefulness. I'm kind of wondering if complaining to the card company (or maybe Target?) about their shitty cards would be useful. What do you guys think?

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2015 2:31 am 
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I think complaining to Target is not a bad idea.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2015 2:32 am 
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couroupita wrote:
... I'm kind of wondering if complaining to the card company (or maybe Target?) about their shitty cards would be useful. What do you guys think?

I've seen a couple of instances recently where companies apologised and said they would make changes when taken to task (a fabric company which left off the female heroes, a supermarket who had a sign for "boys toys" which were things any child would like to play with), so it probably is worth letting them know you found them mean-spirited and asking for more positive cards instead.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 17, 2015 11:50 am 
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This could easily go here or the privilege thread. I don't follow sports so I don't know who she is but I want to shake the livingfuck out of her.

Britt McHenry video: ESPN reporter makes fun of parking lot attendant; apologizes, gets suspended

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2015 11:58 am 
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I love this so much.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2015 9:25 pm 
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couroupita wrote:
I'm kind of wondering if complaining to the card company (or maybe Target?) about their shitty cards would be useful. What do you guys think?

You can actually complain to two different companies! The people who handle the greeting cards in Target stores are actually a third party company that Target has nothing to do with really. So you can complain to Target headquarters and the the third party company (which is probably Hallmark since they own pretty much every greeting card company).

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2015 9:29 am 
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UGH. People who post pictures of a muffin or a scone or other desirable foodstuff with hashtags like #worththeextragymtime or #noguilt. Just eat your food and get on with your life - there's no moral value (besides the obvious vegan one) to a damned sandwich.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 11:29 pm 
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You know, I detest Chris Christie as much as the next Jersey girl, but can we please stop making fun of his body? Can't we pay more attention to all the nepotism, mismanagement and general cronyism that corrupt, arrogant, egomaniac is doing and the way he is raiding NJ like a piggy bank?

http://dlisted.com/2015/06/04/behold-ch ... n-between/

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Jun 07, 2015 5:42 pm 
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Right? He is a terrible, terrible person and his physical appearance has nothing to do with that. So frustrating.

The only sort of funny line in that whole bit is where they describe it as a "situation that could stop traffic on a bridge." Because, oh, that's an example of one of those bad things he did, a thing that ACTUALLY AFFECTED PEOPLE and maybe we can focus on that kind of shiitake instead of how he looks in pants. Gah.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Jun 07, 2015 5:54 pm 
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EXACTLY!!!!!

This is someone who took Federal funds for Sandy relief and spent them on projects to benefit his cronies in areas where Sandy had no impact. Someone who worked really hard to make sure that agencies were making it extra hard for black and poor families in South Jersey to get any relief, while doling it out liberally to wealthy families in Ocean County, who donate to his election fund. Someone who raised millions for a Sandy charity and never disbursed it, but used it to pay salaries for his cronies.

This is a US AG who spent his time in office persecuting Democrats right as they were running in elections, to affect their credibility. This is a man who disbursed millions of state no bid contracts to his friends and stocked key agencies with his cronies to make sure that he could keep on bleeding the state dry. This is man who stole millions of settlements from environmental abusers to use in the state's general fund to balance his budgets. Someone who has an annual habit of striking all funding from healthcare for low income women and children, even though it means rejecting Federal matching funds. Someone who has attacked teachers and refused to fund pensions but still tries to make political hay out of his opposition to Common Core, while still supporting testing and no one calls him out for how that makes no sense. http://www.northjersey.com/news/educati ... -1.1348138 And someone who has created a transportation and infrastructure funding crisis that puts everyone who commutes on the state's roads, bridges, trains etc at risk. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/29/nyreg ... .html?_r=0

And we have to make fun of him for being overweight? He should be removed from office and prosecuted.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2015 4:55 pm 
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I had the most wonderful breakthrough of a day today! Last week, I bought a bikini. I never thought I could wear one because I don't fit society's standards for body size and whatnot. A friend helped me realize just how much bullshiitake that is, so I hunted down a bra-sized bikini top that fits like a dream. And today I went to the beach for the first time ever in a bikini. It was the most glorious, freeing feeling I've had in a very long time! I feel so confident and sexy and amazing right now, and I couldn't possibly care less if other people were judging me based on standards that I no longer care to conform to. I'm totally riding a body-positive high right now.

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