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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2015 5:16 pm 
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My boyfriend's boss told me that he thinks Katie Compton could stand to lose 20 pounds. Katie Compton looks like this:
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In the cycling community I hate how people think it's fair game to comment on anyone's body or looks. Rachel Atherthon gets shiitake on a lot because people think she isn't pretty enough. It's pretty discouraging.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2015 7:06 pm 
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fupapack wrote:
In the cycling community Everywhere in the world I hate how people think it's fair game to comment on anyone's body or looks. Rachel Atherthon gets shiitake on a lot because people think she isn't pretty enough. It's pretty discouraging.


FTFY :(

ETA: I didn't mean to sound glib, I'm sorry if I did. I agree and think it's disgusting bullshiitake (and also, whaaaaaa? because the only thing that woman looks to me is seriously badass to me and I assume that, twenty "extra" pounds or no, she still killed it all the way to the finish line), it just made me sad/temporarily hopeful that it could be confined to one tiny area of the world. Alas.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2015 8:13 pm 
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yeah, you're right. :(


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Sep 29, 2015 9:32 am 
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fupapack wrote:
My boyfriend's boss told me that he thinks Katie Compton could stand to lose 20 pounds.


UGH. I mean, the way she looks is beside the point even. She is a MONSTER athlete who has been at the top of her game for, like, a decade!

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Sep 29, 2015 10:00 am 
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Yeah i think they don't understand that body weight is less important for women cyclist than it is for guys.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Nov 14, 2015 1:25 pm 
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I noticed something really interesting this last month or so. For background, I have lost 55 pounds. Which puts me at 160 (from 215). These numbers matter because what I have noticed is, if I tell people that I need to lose 30 more pounds they usually tell me that would make be very thin. But if I say I'm down to 160 they tell me something like "Oh so you have another 40 or 50 to go".
If I give the actual weight of me, it seems to change how they see me.
It isn't so much body shaming as it is what we have been taught to think is the "right" weight.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Nov 14, 2015 2:11 pm 
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Kfad, I agree that there seems to be an obsession with a certain weigh. Size also (clothing wise), bizzare as that is because every shop is different size wise. But as someone a fair bit taller than average, I've noticed that if people find out my weight or clothing size, they say "Oh, well you don't look it,you look (15-20lb) lighter!" Clothing wise, people will say "no, I'm sure you're not that size" as if reassuring me that I'm not a "too big" size or something. I mean I'm several inches taller than most, of course I weigh more, am a bigger size etc. And even if I wasn't taller, would it matter?

My dad is the same - for years he bought my mum (same height as me) clothes two sizes too small, because he said she is skinny so can't possibly wear the size she actually is.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2015 7:09 am 
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I shame myself all the time with my body. I look in the mirror and it is really really hard to see anything I like. It isn't even about weight, though at smaller weights it is more bearable. It is the shape of my body. I have a very very short waist but very long legs and a large butt, nonexistent chest/breasts/upper body. I have very strong muscular legs but arms that look like toothpicks no matter how heavy and hard I lift weights. I don't fit the coveted body type most people seem to have an image of. And finding clothes that fit is a nightmare. Shirts for women always seem to be too short for me, and pants too (and I am not especially tall, I am 5'5.5"), and they are made for women with tiny thighs and no butt but a larger waist than I have. I'll often wear very little to no clothes at home because I don't feel so restricted in them. I am also told that I am too thin by some people or too chubby by others, and people outright ask me how much I weigh as if this is ok to ask. I will usually respond with "I'll tell you if you are comfortable telling me how much you weigh".

I wish I could get beyond the negative voice in my head and the humiliation I always feel in public when anyone looks at me, especially at the gym. I feel like a piece of meat being judged all the time, but I am sure a lot of it is my own self hate too. I was underweight, sometimes severely, for six years and finally pushed through recovery to a normal weight in early 2014. I am still a low normal weight but every day is a battle not to want to pare off the curves that accentuate my imperfect body. I can't figure out how much of this is how I was brought up and the negative impact of others comments and treatment of my Mom who is obese, or deep rooted cultural influence. Or maybe it is just a reflection of how I feel about myself in general as someone who is very introverted, quiet, shy, passive, nonviolent, and suffers with avoidant personality disorder...also traits that are not appreciated in the culture I live in.

There is also the comments from people on Facebook and at the gym that if you aren't lifting a certain amount of weight or putting in x number hours of training or cardio etc then you aren't working hard enough or you are lazy or whatever. I work very very hard everyday, but I am not interested in being an athlete and there is nothing wrong with exercising for the pure enjoyment of it, or because I want to have more energy and be healthy. I don't have to impress or compete with anyone. And yet I always feel like I have to prove myself somehow. It goes the same with work and my career, or with being vegan, or anything. Unconditional love and acceptance evades my world.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2015 7:28 am 
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I'm sorry you struggle Robin. I've always struggled myself but from the other side of it, being obese since I was a child and being told by others I wasn't good enough my entire life.

For me, it was a bit of a fake it until you make it thing. Meaning I force myself to write down positive things about myself because it doesn't come naturally to me. Like "hell yeah I lifted that weight" or I'm just grateful that I can go outside for a walk and enjoy nature.

I really wish I could hug you and tell you that you are amazing because you are.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2015 7:31 am 
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linanil wrote:
I really wish I could hug you and tell you that you are amazing because you are.


Quoted for truth!

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2015 8:01 am 
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One thing I was thinking about is how invisible being fat makes you and it has been a huge security blanket for me all my life. When I got down to the overweight range vs obese, I started to become less invisible and I didn't know how to deal with it. And then the sneaking into regular sized clothing to stores was always scary because I figured that someone would realize I didn't belong and tell me to go to the plus size section. I remember skirting the misses section in a department store and grabbing things as the edge and then walking to the plus size section to try them on.

At this point, I am not focusing on my weight but rather my habits. So exercising, eating well, not using food as a crutch, etc are all things I'm working on. I also work on my mental health by reinforcing that I am a worthwhile human being.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2015 8:36 am 
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linanil wrote:
I'm sorry you struggle Robin. I've always struggled myself but from the other side of it, being obese since I was a child and being told by others I wasn't good enough my entire life.

For me, it was a bit of a fake it until you make it thing. Meaning I force myself to write down positive things about myself because it doesn't come naturally to me. Like "hell yeah I lifted that weight" or I'm just grateful that I can go outside for a walk and enjoy nature.

I really wish I could hug you and tell you that you are amazing because you are.


Thanks so much! I'm sorry you struggle so much too! I agree that it is really hard to focus on the positive stuff. But I will try to do more of that.

I remember this girl I was in an ED treatment with. She was a normal weight but bulimic. But she carried herself so well and she always had this inviting shine about her. She didn't seem insecure at all and she was so beautiful, and I think a lot of that was simply how she carried herself and the confidence she held. Or maybe she was practicing the fake it til you make it too to an extent. I would love to someday be there, to a point where I carry my head high and walk with confidence in whatever body I have.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2015 12:13 pm 
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I'm super conflicted right now. I just saw an article Bustle ran article about things you think aren't fat shaming but definitely are, and the picture accompanying the headline has hit me in the feels. When I saw it I thought "that person's build is really hot" then looked again and thought "....that could be me..." and now I feel all icky and anxious. Body shaming can leave some pretty deep running marks.


Last edited by 8ball on Mon Dec 07, 2015 12:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2015 12:16 pm 
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Why do they accompany these articles with body photos?

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2015 12:18 pm 
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Theyre not even full person photos for the most part.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 8:07 pm 
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Bump.

There's this guy I see at my gym sometimes that I went to college with. In college, he made it well known he had a crush on me. He is very, very conventionally attractive (like...it's insane) and every time I see him I get filled with all sorts of awful feelings about how I look now.

I used to be really thin. I had an eating disorder and hated myself, but boy was I lean and had a conventionally attractive body type. This is when this guy knew me. I'm fat now -- I'm happy, but I'm on antidepressants and they've made me fat by any standard. And whenever I see this guy, my brain goes: "You used to look good enough that you could have HIS attention. Now look at you." I know he's seen me and recognized me, but I can't bear to not run out in shame whenever he's there. I've actually stopped my workouts and snuck out when I've seen him.

I like to believe I am okay with myself most of the time, but for some reason I get so many ugly feelings about myself when I'm confronted by the fact that this total babeman used to have a crush on me and I can guarantee he wouldn't now. I don't even care, I mean I'm very very happily married. And how dumb must it look to basically run away whenever I see him? What the hell is wrong with me?

ETA: Also how forked up is it that my brain defines my self-worth by the opinions of dudes who literally are not even in my life? WHY BRAIN WHY

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2016 7:24 pm 
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I've been browsing around different news sites trying to kill the last ten minutes of my day, and I'm really disappointed by how so many outlets are treating David Letterman's "new look." Luckily the first one I saw was pretty supportive and positive, and the headline was something along the lines of "David Letterman is bald and bearded and happy" and how retirement agreed with him. And he really did look happy in the photo! I thought it was great. But every other site is like "You'll NEVER BELIEVE how David Letterman looks now!" and it's very obviously meant to be shaming or laughter-inducing.

Obviously women get it a million times worse. But it just goes to show that men can't escape this bullshiitake either. It makes me sad in either case.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 11:52 am 
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New Zealand hotel cafe bars cyclists in Lycra shorts

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2016 11:52 am 
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Oh jesus.

One of the things I really like about spandex is that it kind of forces people to deal with bodies. In the riding and racing community here, there are people of all shapes and sizes, and they wear spandex, and you can see everything, and it's just not A Thing.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2016 12:41 pm 
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I find it really bizzare that they use the "elderly" as an excuse...that apparently old people don't need to find out that people have bodies under their clothes...erm...don't they realise that the elderly probably have far more experience with bodies than younger people do, simply because they've been alive longer?! It's like people who are embarrassed if their nan mentions sex, how do you think you exist if your grandparents are perpetually celibate?

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2016 3:17 pm 
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jordanpattern wrote:
One of the things I really like about spandex is that it kind of forces people to deal with bodies. In the riding and racing community here, there are people of all shapes and sizes, and they wear spandex, and you can see everything, and it's just not A Thing.


I love that, too.

And bah, the joke is on them. So many cyclists are: 1. Hungry. 2. Thirsty 3. Have disposable income!

Maybe April Fools day is different is NZ.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2016 11:56 am 
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I was following someone on FB called Strength Sensei. He posted a picture of a fat person in the mall and talked about her expressing her fat genes by overeating. A lot of people were critical of the post but many were not and talked about her McDonald's and donut eating habits. I unfollowed the person but I just can't imagine someone, especially someone who thinks they are a fitness guru, taking a picture of someone and posting it on their public business page.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2016 2:58 pm 
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This week I have been shamed for where I shop and it has everything to do with my size. I have been wearing a pair of earrings from H&M that I have been getting a lot of compliments on. When people ask where I got them, I tell them. It is always, every single time, followed by a "I don't shop there, they have nothing for people with "real" bodies". Often with a whole lot of anger in my general direction.
What?
I am not a waif, I have boobs and hips. But I have worked damn hard to get healthy. Healthy!
It's incredibly frustrating that I got shamed for being big and now for being smaller (not small).

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2016 3:31 pm 
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That's miserable! Too many people can't just be happy for other people's accomplishments.

Next time, tell them you shop the Barbie aisle at Toys 'R Us.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2016 3:57 pm 
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kfad wrote:
This week I have been shamed for where I shop and it has everything to do with my size. I have been wearing a pair of earrings from H&M that I have been getting a lot of compliments on. When people ask where I got them, I tell them. It is always, every single time, followed by a "I don't shop there, they have nothing for people with "real" bodies". Often with a whole lot of anger in my general direction.
What?
I am not a waif, I have boobs and hips. But I have worked damn hard to get healthy. Healthy!
It's incredibly frustrating that I got shamed for being big and now for being smaller (not small).


I'm 5'1" and a size (uk) 16/18 atm, I got a lovely dress to fit me there a couple of months ago. In the UK, at least, they cater for a range of sizes.

I heard a local dj here lamenting last week that someone had suggested a cut off age for wearing a bikini, the show then descended into basically, age doesn't matter, size does. I was seething, I was going to email them but I couldn't do it without calling her an arsehole. My weight goes up and down, depending on health, I've been everything from a size 8 to a size 20, I've never felt comfortable enough to wear a bikini, more power to anyone who does, no matter what shape they are.


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