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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 5:47 pm 
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Graciakai, I see that hidden compliment in there! Thank you. I'm the biggest I've been and coincedentally the happiest, so there's that.

The fashion industry makes me want to VOMIT. The whole thing is so laughable. In my brief (I cringe just thinking about finishing this sentence...) stint as a model, I so quickly because absolutely disgusted by every part of that industry. To this day I have a visceral gut reaction of hate to any designer label...that industry is so deeply rooted in body hate that it makes me sick.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 12:07 am 
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paprikapapaya wrote:
To this day I have a visceral gut reaction of hate to any designer label...that industry is so deeply rooted in body hate that it makes me sick.


Hey, that's my reaction to fashion school!

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 12:59 am 
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Fashion is fun on the surface, but I can't imagine getting sucked into living in that cycle.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 8:58 am 
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I found out recently that one side of my family is organizing a family reunion, the day after I arrive. Although I've seen parts of that side of the family, we haven't had a big family get together in nearly 20 years since my great grandmother died. Although I weigh less now than I did 20 years ago... I've still gained weight in the last year so I cringe at the idea of seeing so much family. Weight, weight loss, diet, etc is always a topic with any of my family. And not only that, but I'm a giant at 5'7 compared to the rest of the females in my family that hover around 5'.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 11:30 am 
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I hope it's ok and you have fun, Linanil.

My dads mother and two sisters once had a loud conversation in front/ around me about how nobody in the family is ever fat. That was lovely (and laughably untrue). I would never have gone back for any reason had I not lost weight. Horrible people. Not much nicer to my dad either, so it's just a matter of them looking go a wedge to use in order to inflict the most pain.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 11:36 am 
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Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
paprikapapaya wrote:
To this day I have a visceral gut reaction of hate to any designer label...that industry is so deeply rooted in body hate that it makes me sick.


Hey, that's my reaction to fashion school!


lavawitch wrote:
Fashion is fun on the surface, but I can't imagine getting sucked into living in that cycle.


The best fashion comes from the streets anyway; which big name fashion houses copy (or are "inspired by"), use some expensive fabrics and cut them to fit only 1% of the population. Loooosers.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 11:41 am 
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linanil I do hope your reunion is enjoyable.

Last time I was at a big family gathering I was quite slim and my Aunt said, without being asked of course, "You look so good! The last time I saw you you were as big as a house!" Holy backhanded compliment Batman! I'm still fuming about that. The previous time she had seen me when I was apparently enormous was about a month after I'd given birth... so yeah.

I'm sure your gathering will be free of such annoyances but your comment reminded me. Grrrr


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 10:05 pm 
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I love this thread and everyone who has posted so far.

I'll post my own thoughts and experiences once I'm feeling more articulate. Let's just say I've had a few hours of the women around me hating their bodies.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 2:06 pm 
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Women, sort yourselves out!
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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 2:18 pm 
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I just had a really nice experience. I was talking to two coworkers about power/weight ratio and bike weight in cycling, and about why it feels different to lose 5 pounds of body weight versus buying a bike that weighs 5 pounds less. One coworker said something to the effect of it being easier to lose 5 pounds than to spend an extra $1500 on a super light bike. I sort of nodded, and the other coworker said, "please don't lose 5 pounds!" to me. I wasn't offended and took it in the jokey way in which it was intended.

However, 5 minutes later, she came to my office to apologize for the remark, saying that even if it was a joke, she would be mad if someone remarked to her that she shouldn't gain 5 pounds, and that that thought made her realize that it was really no different to say to someone small like me that I shouldn't lose 5 pounds, and that we shouldn't comment on other people's bodies that way. It totally wasn't necessary to apologize, but I have to say, I really appreciated her thoughtfulness and willingness to come and talk to me that way. It kind of made my day, and I wish more people (myself included) could be that self aware and thoughtful.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 2:21 pm 
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jordanpattern wrote:
I just had a really nice experience. I was talking to two coworkers about power/weight ratio and bike weight in cycling, and about why it feels different to lose 5 pounds of body weight versus buying a bike that weighs 5 pounds less. One coworker said something to the effect of it being easier to lose 5 pounds than to spend an extra $1500 on a super light bike. I sort of nodded, and the other coworker said, "please don't lose 5 pounds!" to me. I wasn't offended and took it in the jokey way in which it was intended.

However, 5 minutes later, she came to my office to apologize for the remark, saying that even if it was a joke, she would be mad if someone remarked to her that she shouldn't gain 5 pounds, and that that thought made her realize that it was really no different to say to someone small like me that I shouldn't lose 5 pounds, and that we shouldn't comment on other people's bodies that way. It totally wasn't necessary to apologize, but I have to say, I really appreciated her thoughtfulness and willingness to come and talk to me that way. It kind of made my day, and I wish more people (myself included) could be that self aware and thoughtful.


That is awesome! I love that she was so aware and was kind enough to talk with you about it rather than hoping you would forget it.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 2:28 pm 
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I've had interesting experiences with people commenting on my food at lunch. "Something healthy again, eh?" In the past they've said "you don't need that!" As if I don't want to eat a delicious quinoa and roasted veggie salad with lime vinaigrette and avocado! It was so good and I would love eating it no matter my size. I get self conscious when I eat anything other than the obligatory PB&J because I feel like sometimes others see it as open season to comment on my food choices, size, etc.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 2:35 pm 
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pickledtreats wrote:
I've had interesting experiences with people commenting on my food at lunch. "Something healthy again, eh?" In the past they've said "you don't need that!" As if I don't want to eat a delicious quinoa and roasted veggie salad with lime vinaigrette and avocado! It was so good and I would love eating it no matter my size. I get self conscious when I eat anything other than the obligatory PB&J because I feel like sometimes others see it as open season to comment on my food choices, size, etc.

That doesn't make sense at all. That sounds like a delicious meal no matter what! I would expect them to be jealous of your lunch if anything.

I used to feel like shiitake going through the drive through and ordering fast food when I was pregan and heavier. Like the people selling Burger King were judging me or something. And in the back of my mind I was ready to say "It's not all for me!" when it really was. But this was also all in my head. I was the only one shaming me not anyone else.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 5:56 pm 
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I worry about going home to see my parents because my mum spends most of the time telling me to lose weight. Sometimes when I visit, I am actively trying to do so; but either way I don't want to constantly be told I'm fat. It's like 'yeah, I know, and...?' but pretty upsetting too.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 7:50 pm 
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Desdemona wrote:
Women, sort yourselves out!
Men! Shave and get drunk, because you’re already brilliant!


damn, that is so fricking accurate.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 9:10 am 
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EmperorTomatoKetchup wrote:
Desdemona wrote:
Women, sort yourselves out!
Men! Shave and get drunk, because you’re already brilliant!


damn, that is so fricking accurate.
I know. It doesn't even really qualify as satire!

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 5:54 am 
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This woman ROCKS!


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 11:23 am 
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Ugh. I'm currently working at a summer holiday playscheme for children and we're using some rooms in a primary school. The school's staffroom is a child-free zone where we keep sensitive paperwork and have end of day meetings etc. On the wall is a fairly large display about calorie counting, with a chart, which I think the teachers from the school must have put up. The central image is one of those motivational posters with a picture of several overweight women (in swimwear or underwear, I think) and the caption "Chocolate is bad for you." They also have pictures of bikinis and food related quotes.
I hate having to go in and see this every day. I keep thinking that chocolate isn't bad for you, unless you happen to be allergic to cocoa or very sensitive to caffiene. And just... arrgh.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 12:06 pm 
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EmperorTomatoKetchup wrote:
Desdemona wrote:
Women, sort yourselves out!
Men! Shave and get drunk, because you’re already brilliant!
damn, that is so fricking accurate.


So funny yet so true and depressing


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 12:11 pm 
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lepelaar wrote:
This woman ROCKS!


Thank you for linking me to this inspiring woman!


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 6:21 pm 
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A friend posted "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" on her FB wall, and I want to explain to her how forked up that is, but I don't have the energy.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 8:27 pm 
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I accidentally watched The View yesterday, all about "being fat". They actually called it "Fat Show". Just, wow.

http://theview.abc.go.com/category/tags/fat-show


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 9:25 pm 
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limwen wrote:
I worry about going home to see my parents because my mum spends most of the time telling me to lose weight. Sometimes when I visit, I am actively trying to do so; but either way I don't want to constantly be told I'm fat. It's like 'yeah, I know, and...?' but pretty upsetting too.

One of the best things I've ever done for myself is to tell my mother my weight is not up for discussion and stick to it. The first mention gets an "I'm not discussing this." The second gets a "goodbye" or leaving the room. She thinks I'm pissy and difficult because "all women talk about weight," but I'm happy being pissy, difficult, and comfortable in my body any day.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 11:51 pm 
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I'm getting pretty anxious. 2 days until I see my family. And clothes shopping today was not helpful. Sometimes a 3 way mirror is not what you want to see.

On the plus side, I think I could take up waitressing and use my booty shelf for the use of serving drinks.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 9:55 am 
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GOOD LARD YES.

[I haven't been on the PPK in like two years and I come back today and suddenly I remember why much I love the PPK with this post and smack myself upside the head for not being on it for the past two years - they've been rough and the PPK atmosphere probably could've helped!]

So, re: body shaming: I just don't GET it. Someone's subjective unattractiveness does not affect you personally. They do not force you to perceive them unfavorably. They do not force you to be disgusted with them. The arrogance involved with telling people all the things wrong with their body blows my forking mind. Who are you to tell someone that?! I'm skinny, and I constantly get people telling me I'm anorexic or suggesting I'm bulimic, suggesting that I'm vegan because I want to lose weight, etc. Which just makes me not wanna eat in front of people, which just fuels the fire even more. I've had guys (I'm in high school) tell me my opinion on __________ doesn't matter because I have "small tits". I'm sorry, what the fork is the relevance?! To make me feel inferior obviously. And the "no boobs" thing. Women with small breasts do not actually have "no boobs". We have SMALL boobs. That's like saying a man with a small penis has "no penis" -- see how that's misleading? And who cares if they're small or large? It's not like they are supposed to be large and all breasts are large and anyone who doesn't have large breasts has a defect. I also don't get the ginger hate. People take that shiitake pretty seriously. It's a freakin' HAIR COLOR.

The thing that bothers me most is people's (usually thoughtless, sometimes intentionally cruel) comments about my back. When I was 12 I had a major back surgery to correct my scoliosis. If I hadn't had it, I would've died before I turned 13. So I've got a scar from the top of my neck to right above my butt, and because of the rods fused to my vertebral column, I sit really straight. Of course, sometimes people are complimentary. Like they'll say they think my scar is cool or they think I'm a dancer if they don't know (from the posture). But you would not believe some of the thoughtless crepe people will say! "Oh, well it totally sucks that you can't wear backless dresses or whatever." "Ewwwww!" IN FACT, someone once said EWWWW and CRINGED while HUGGING ME. Because I have bony shoulderblades. Which goes back to the skinny thing too, I guess. Seriously, who does that?! Pre-surgery, there were a few crassholes who called me the Hunchback of Notre Dame but post-surgery there are people that tell me I'm a bisque or a prude because of how straight I sit. HOW can one infer such a thing from one's posture? My god! Such ignorance.

Basically, you just can't infer a damn thing about a person from his/her body alone, and that's why you should get to know a PERSON not a BODY. Aaand you can't assume your perceptions of a person's body are their own perceptions. For example, you think they're too skinny or too fat, but they may think they're beautiful. And who are you to tell them differently? To anyone who has ever had anyone be a total dick about your body, you are forking beautiful.

P.S. Is there a thread floating around here somewhere, like a "Things I Love About Myself" thread? Because I think that would be pretty awesome.

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