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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 7:39 am 
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Mars wrote:
Olives wrote:
Is it bad that every time I see this thread I'm like "Body shaming? Goodness, no I can never get enough of body shaming!"

Hah, ever time I see it my mind instantly says: "No! Never!" I think it's just something about the way it's worded makes me want to be contrarian for no reason!
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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 11:05 am 
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Shy Mox wrote:
kimba wrote:
UNM's response to the fat phd thing: http://news.unm.edu/2013/06/unm-respons ... ey-miller/


Part of a research project? seriously?


It's definitely more entertaining, but also kind of sad, when they scramble. Just own it and apologize, duder.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 9:13 pm 
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Mars wrote:
Olives wrote:
Is it bad that every time I see this thread I'm like "Body shaming? Goodness, no I can never get enough of body shaming!"

Hah, ever time I see it my mind instantly says: "No! Never!" I think it's just something about the way it's worded makes me want to be contrarian for no reason!



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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 9:24 pm 
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lilyyw wrote:
Mars wrote:
Olives wrote:
Is it bad that every time I see this thread I'm like "Body shaming? Goodness, no I can never get enough of body shaming!"

Hah, ever time I see it my mind instantly says: "No! Never!" I think it's just something about the way it's worded makes me want to be contrarian for no reason!




This was oddly appropriate and made me laugh but also made me realize I've never seen that music video! How is that possible?

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 12:30 pm 
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I do have a few issues with this piece. For one thing, the author's continual use of the term "beauty" is problematic, and her assertion that "society...defines a standard of beauty that is perpetually out of our reach" only serves to reify that standard, since the implication is that if we "could" reach it, everything would be okay. But it's still worth a read, and as I said when I saw it posted on FB, it made me cry, and made me thankful (yet again) that I don't have any female children to be made to withstand the sociocultural torture inflicted on women, and/or to whom I might inadvertently pass on my own issues. The sad fact is that, ns much as I love the idea of radical self-acceptance as an act of personal and political resistance, it's amazing how much emotional and psychological pain this stuff still dredges up.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/wellb ... s-shes-fat

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 1:24 pm 
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Mr. Shankly wrote:
I don't mean to be rude and I know you're concerned but it's not really anyone's business what another person eats. If she wants to be an Oreo and chips vegan then by all means, be one!


It is if she gets faint at work! I'm not preachy about food at all, but she asked me about eating vegan and I don't want her to be ill(er).


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 2:50 pm 
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Desdemona wrote:
I do have a few issues with this piece. For one thing, the author's continual use of the term "beauty" is problematic, and her assertion that "society...defines a standard of beauty that is perpetually out of our reach" only serves to reify that standard, since the implication is that if we "could" reach it, everything would be okay. But it's still worth a read, and as I said when I saw it posted on FB, it made me cry, and made me thankful (yet again) that I don't have any female children to be made to withstand the sociocultural torture inflicted on women, and/or to whom I might inadvertently pass on my own issues. The sad fact is that, ns much as I love the idea of radical self-acceptance as an act of personal and political resistance, it's amazing how much emotional and psychological pain this stuff still dredges up.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/wellb ... s-shes-fat


I have tears for this story too. My body issues have been kicking my asparagus recently, but this has made me think about my relationship with my mother and with my niece.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 3:42 pm 
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cornflowers wrote:
Mr. Shankly wrote:
I don't mean to be rude and I know you're concerned but it's not really anyone's business what another person eats. If she wants to be an Oreo and chips vegan then by all means, be one!


It is if she gets faint at work! I'm not preachy about food at all, but she asked me about eating vegan and I don't want her to be ill(er).

This could be a medical issue--some people have low blood pressure (particularly thin young women) and should eat salty foods (potato chips could be an example) along with fluids throughout the day to try and keep their blood pressure up. If you are friendly with her, you might express your concern, as she should get checked out by a doctor if she hasn't already.

As far as her interest in becoming vegan, you can of course point her toward resources for healthy, balanced vegan diets (veganhealth.org, theveganrd.com), encourage her to take a B12 supplement and answer her questions. It is her choice what to do with that information, of course.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 5:15 pm 
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Just chiming in to say that I have very low blood pressure. It has been an issue as long as I can remember, and it can be really scary. Standing for long periods of time can make it worse. I used to work as a cashier, and more than once I completely lost my vision and had to be led to a bench so I could sit down. Something about all my blood pooling in my legs or something? I think some people use compression socks to help with that.

As far as I know, it has nothing to do with my diet. It was a problem when I was a crappy vegetarian who ate mostly cheese and ramen, and it's a problem now that I eat a much healthier vegan diet.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 1:15 am 
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http://neil-gaiman.tumblr.com/post/5242 ... s-with-tea

And Amanda F Palmer's (and everyone involved)'s response to this: http://amandapalmer.tumblr.com/

Is pretty much the best thing I've seen online in ever.
WE ARE THE MEDIA, WE ARE BEAUTIFUL

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 9:56 am 
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Wow, some of the after-photoshop pictures are ridiculous. The waist of the last girl in the black is about the size of her thigh.
This is really relevant to How Art History Made Me a Feminist. Depictions of women in ancient cultures- Greeks, specifically- show women with tight, form fitting clothing that accentuates their female parts. Stretchy fabric had not yet been invented, so the media was giving women a standard of desirable appearance that was literally impossible. I used to not think much about how the media affects people, but after seeing the connection between Greek vase painting and media now, i was a bit disgusted. It really opened my eyes as to how the media projects a standard of beauty that is unobtainable, and how that effects people's body image.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 11:50 am 
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Helyx wrote:
http://neil-gaiman.tumblr.com/post/52421690536/fefeferi-fighting-for-fitness-with-tea

And Amanda F Palmer's (and everyone involved)'s response to this: http://amandapalmer.tumblr.com/




Are those... real? Like real before and afters? I realize this is certainly a rhetorical question, but that is infuriating!!


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 5:27 pm 
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I sometimes wonder what the benefit of Photoshopping people like that is. Seriously, who stands to benefit? Cosmetic companies? Plastic surgeons? Or are we just so self-loathing that we like to create impossible beauty standards for us to surely fall short of?

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 12:40 am 
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8ball wrote:
Desdemona wrote:
I do have a few issues with this piece. For one thing, the author's continual use of the term "beauty" is problematic, and her assertion that "society...defines a standard of beauty that is perpetually out of our reach" only serves to reify that standard, since the implication is that if we "could" reach it, everything would be okay. But it's still worth a read, and as I said when I saw it posted on FB, it made me cry, and made me thankful (yet again) that I don't have any female children to be made to withstand the sociocultural torture inflicted on women, and/or to whom I might inadvertently pass on my own issues. The sad fact is that, ns much as I love the idea of radical self-acceptance as an act of personal and political resistance, it's amazing how much emotional and psychological pain this stuff still dredges up.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/wellb ... s-shes-fat


I have tears for this story too. My body issues have been kicking my asparagus recently, but this has made me think about my relationship with my mother and with my niece.


wow....thank you for sharing, it really touched me.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 7:40 am 
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shiitake, Desdemona. I got just a few sentences in and I started tearing up. I'll have to save this for later.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 7:41 am 
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Horrible, horrible body-hating thoughts lately. I'd love very much to move past this and get back to loving myself.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 8:49 am 
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I hate it when people use pseudo-science to blame people who are overweight for their medical problems. It sounds like science, but there is no correlation or evidence to contextualize or back up the claims or the faux-statistics, which I am pretty sure are pulled out of someone's butt. And fat serves an important function - its not the enemy!

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 11:50 am 
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The sleep apnea statistic is pretty much true.

I think that a lot of graphics like that may come from gastric bypass or other wls studies and end up misused. But, the thing there is that insurance will usually only cover if people have the conditions that are likely to be resolved with extreme weight loss, so the patients are specifically selected to have good results. This would make those sorts of statistics mostly true, but only for a certain selected segment of the population.

I'm just guessing here because you see similar a lot in the wls literature.

For example: nobody expected that my surgery and weight loss would do much for my sleep apnea (weird jaw shape) so it wasn't even considered as a comorbidity by my medical team.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 1:37 pm 
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paprikapapaya wrote:
Horrible, horrible body-hating thoughts lately. I'd love very much to move past this and get back to loving myself.


Me too. Hugs to you PP xxx


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 1:52 pm 
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I just watched a Fox News clip where a contributor said that she would look fabulous and be so skinny if she had to live off of food stamps. Obviously what's most offensive about this is her reckless disregard for hungry Americans, but I think it's so crazy that we live in a culture where being thin because you're STARVING is glamorous to upper-class people.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 3:26 pm 
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I have been trying to wear the wrong sizes for years. I got so fed up with how I thought I looked terrible in everything and was un-clothe-able because "my size" looked awful on me, that for the last year I have worn nothing but sweats and yoga pants and old hoodies and tees.

I went shopping. I tried on larger sizes. I found the appropriate size. I look hot as all hell in basically everything, and pants with zippers (!!!!) are not instruments of depression! They can be comfortable!

I am really sad that I have spent the last year being so sad about my appearance that I dressed slobby every day, and that I have been trying to lose weight because I thought the problem was with me.

Which it was, but in a different way. If I try something on and it doesn't fit, if it doesn't come in a big enough size for me, that is not a failure on my part. That is a failure on the part of clothing manufacturers to provide clothes that can encompass all the different shapes people come in.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 3:30 pm 
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DrakeRedcrest wrote:
f I try something on and it doesn't fit, if it doesn't come in a big enough size for me, that is not a failure on my part. That is a failure on the part of clothing manufacturers to provide clothes that can encompass all the different shapes people come in.


You are so right!

I've been in a 'sloppy dressing' phase, always wearing dark clothes so I don't get noticed, but am really tired of it and want to wear pretty clothes in lovely colours. I've got a Lady V London dress and some new sewing patterns in mind.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:18 pm 
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It was problematic in a lot of ways, but one thing I liked about the show "What Not to Wear" is that they did seem to emphasize not looking at the clothing size on the label because it doesn't matter, and whenever people would start body shaming themselves the hosts would assure them that the problem wasn't their bodies, it was clothes that didn't fit right.

It still put forward a certain acceptable standard and appearance judging, but I liked that aspect of the show. They never presented weight loss as a solution or encouraged "the fantasy of being thin."


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 5:05 pm 
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I am feeling pretty low right now, on the plane going home from a visit with my father. I am quite heavy but have lost 65 pounds since October. (Am still a little over 300) the whole time I was there, constant comments any time I ate anything, and it culminated in us going to a Colonial-Williamsburg type place with a LOT of walking, and ended up the vast majority of the day him and my stepmom walking about 30 feet ahead of me because they could not be bothered to walk slow enough that I could keep up (I'm only 35, but I have bad foot pain from plantar fascitis as well as a jacked up hip, cracking knees). It was so humiliating. when I said something he just got mad at me and acted disgusted.
Yes. It is my fault that I am fat. But I can't just magically stop being fat in time for my visit.
The whole time I was there I was deep into my binge eating and sneak eating habits. I couldnt ever eat in peace without shame. Stepmom says he is just worried about you. But all that shiitake did was make me want to stay fat to forking spite him.
Not where I want to be.
Combine it with the fact that my boyfriend unexpectedly couldn't pick me up from the airport and that I'm going to be walking back into my job on Monday to psycho boss hell that my friend/coworker kept calling me about all vacation. I feel like complete crepe.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 5:11 pm 
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I feel you, I dread visiting my family. My mom is the worst about commenting on other people's weight.

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