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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 11:06 pm 
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annak wrote:
I went to a bonfire once and a woman brought her 14 year old daughter who had apparently insisted on getting a brow wax on the way. I guess I'm behind the times because I couldn't believe it! I went to a nerd high school where nobody even wore makeup.

."


I went to the kind of high school where girls got brow, leg, pit, and bikini waxes. Where I had friends who had never shaved their legs and went straight to the waxing. And came in full makeup on a daily basis. These were the same girls who took AP classes with me and became engineers, lawyers, doctors, etc. it was just what was expected and it wasn't just the "silly" girls. I super did not fit in! My mother was appalled when I started shaving my legs at 11, but I was the last hairy girl in school and it had become an unbearable social situation.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 1:06 am 
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My mom wouldn't let me shave until long after I was bullied mercilessly. (Kids and my dad's mother too) I still kind of resent her for that because it helped cause a lot of body image issues since my only defense was wearing long pants and long sleeves, regardless of weather. Before that started, I uses to like wearing cute skirts. In 7th grade, I passed out during 90 degree field day beacause I was wearing heavy sweats. For band when we had to wear skirts and hose, I had to wear the super opaque granny hose, but then I was laughed at for that too. I'm super pale with dark hair, and a lot of it everywhere. If I don't shave my arms and legs, no skin is visible.

My mom just kept telling me she had dark hair at my age and it faded when she was an adult. Thanks, mom.

She meant well. She didn't want me wearing makeup or worrying about any of that stuff at that age. It just made everything so much worse. We moved from an area where 6thgrade was elementary to one where 7th was with the high school and the girls all wore full makeup, mini skirts, and backless dresses to school, all with a cliquish small town mentality. I didn't fit in anyway and with my dad's family as well as the kids (and some of the teachers) bullying me (this town didn't like new people), I didn't have a chance.

Then when she did let me shave, I got teased about that too.

I'd actually love to get laser treatments, but I can't stand to let the hair grow long enough.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 7:37 am 
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When we moved to England I was bullied a lot for not shaving my legs/wearing a bra (I was a ballet dancer and had absolutely no chest to speak of), etc. I just wanted to be a kid still!

I don't shave anything other than my pits now (I don't like the itch) and no one ever notices. I do have incredibly fine and fair body hair though.

The bra thing really haunted me though. I would actually make fake sports bras out of my old dance leotards so the boys sitting behind me wouldn't make jokes about how I didn't have bra lines underneath my shirt. When I got home from school I'd sneak into the garden to take it off because I was too embarrassed that my mum might notice. I hid the fake bra under my pillow. Out of necessity for fear of being mercilessly teased at ballet school, I stole my older sister's bra. My god we live in a weird world.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 10:31 am 
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My mom was pretty protective over when I got to start shaving and wearing makeup as well. I think it's because those things aren't that important to her. I remember her being so pissed when she walked in on me shaving in the bath when I was in middle school and also telling me far into high school that certain shades of eyeshadow were only for whores. Yet she always told me to wear blush because I looked too pale and my hair was stringy and my clothes were 'jakey'. It's super weird to me now that she wanted me to look more girly, but only via wearing dresses (and not with boots, the way I wore them) and blush and curling my hair. My appearance was a constant source of misery in high school, for both of us.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 9:49 pm 
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What does "jakey" mean?


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 10:39 pm 
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Ariann wrote:
What does "jakey" mean?


I'm curious too. The closest I can get is "jinkies!" A la Scooby Doo. And I doubt she meant your clothes were a mild expletive while monster hunting.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 3:43 am 
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I started plucking my eyebrows at 11 or 12 - at 14 I was having sex and going to parties in cities an hour away from my home. I definitely wasn't a kid anymore at 14, I was a full blown independent teenager!


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 4:31 am 
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I think jakey might be a type for janky?

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 4:36 am 
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Mars wrote:
I think jakey might be a type for janky?


That makes me none the wiser.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 7:54 am 
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Ah, jakey means...like...unkempt? Sloppy? Unladylike? At least, that was the context my mom said it in. I know at least one other PPKer has heard this before, because we've talked about it. I don't remember who, though!

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 8:22 am 
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allularpunk wrote:
Ah, jakey means...like...unkempt? Sloppy? Unladylike? At least, that was the context my mom said it in. I know at least one other PPKer has heard this before, because we've talked about it. I don't remember who, though!
From then context I assumed it might mean laddish or unladylike; then again, a "jakes" is an outhouse. Anyway, here's what the urban dictionary has to say:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jakey

Looks like it has some awesome Scottish roots, and no one - but no one - does profanity like the Scots. They have elevated filthy language to a fine art form.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 10:34 am 
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Yeah, I looked on UD to see if any of the definitions met what it seemed like my mother meant, and none of them quite fit the bill. But unladylike is definitely part of it.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 2:05 pm 
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Was just making polite conversation with my co-worker and mentioned the news which I just read about Plan B not being very effective for women over 165 lbs. and not effective at all for women over 176 lbs. Here I am talking about a shocking medical discovery which affects hundreds of thousands of US women. My co-worker's response was "well, you don't have to worry about that because you don't weigh that much. If anything, you're underweight."

Why, WHY do you feel the need to say that?

I don't have to worry about it because I have Essure and therefore have removed myself from the childbearing/accidental pregnancy equation altogether. NOT THAT IT'S RELEVANT, because I am not concerned for my own benefit but for the aforementioned HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF WOMEN who this affects. Not to mention, hey, fork you, I have the body type I have and after a literal lifetime of struggling with body self-consciousness, I am at a size and shape I am very happy with. I have skinny bits and I have fat bits and I'm fine with all of them. So stfu with your "underweight" shiitake, because two years ago all I heard was how my BMI made me borderline obese and it really wasn't such a huge leap from there to here. IT'S ALL ARBITRARY bullshiitake, I FEEL GREAT SO STFU.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 2:16 pm 
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Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
Was just making polite conversation with my co-worker and mentioned the news which I just read about Plan B not being very effective for women over 165 lbs. and not effective at all for women over 176 lbs. Here I am talking about a shocking medical discovery which affects hundreds of thousands of US women. My co-worker's response was "well, you don't have to worry about that because you don't weigh that much. If anything, you're underweight."

Why, WHY do you feel the need to say that?

I don't have to worry about it because I have Essure and therefore have removed myself from the childbearing/accidental pregnancy equation altogether. NOT THAT IT'S RELEVANT, because I am not concerned for my own benefit but for the aforementioned HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF WOMEN who this affects. Not to mention, hey, fork you, I have the body type I have and after a literal lifetime of struggling with body self-consciousness, I am at a size and shape I am very happy with. I have skinny bits and I have fat bits and I'm fine with all of them. So stfu with your "underweight" shiitake, because two years ago all I heard was how my BMI made me borderline obese and it really wasn't such a huge leap from there to here. IT'S ALL ARBITRARY bullshiitake, I FEEL GREAT SO STFU.
BLECH. I'm always amazed at when people say stuff like this, because it illustrates that they see every single issue in terms of themselves ("Hmm, how much do I weigh? Oh, not within those numbers. So who gives a damn, since I'm not directly affected?"), and assume that everyone else's worldview is equally myopic.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 2:27 pm 
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Desdemona wrote:
Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
Was just making polite conversation with my co-worker and mentioned the news which I just read about Plan B not being very effective for women over 165 lbs. and not effective at all for women over 176 lbs. Here I am talking about a shocking medical discovery which affects hundreds of thousands of US women. My co-worker's response was "well, you don't have to worry about that because you don't weigh that much. If anything, you're underweight."

Why, WHY do you feel the need to say that?

I don't have to worry about it because I have Essure and therefore have removed myself from the childbearing/accidental pregnancy equation altogether. NOT THAT IT'S RELEVANT, because I am not concerned for my own benefit but for the aforementioned HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF WOMEN who this affects. Not to mention, hey, fork you, I have the body type I have and after a literal lifetime of struggling with body self-consciousness, I am at a size and shape I am very happy with. I have skinny bits and I have fat bits and I'm fine with all of them. So stfu with your "underweight" shiitake, because two years ago all I heard was how my BMI made me borderline obese and it really wasn't such a huge leap from there to here. IT'S ALL ARBITRARY bullshiitake, I FEEL GREAT SO STFU.
BLECH. I'm always amazed at when people say stuff like this, because it illustrates that they see every single issue in terms of themselves ("Hmm, how much do I weigh? Oh, not within those numbers. So who gives a damn, since I'm not directly affected?"), and assume that everyone else's worldview is equally myopic.

I cosign all of the above. I also think it's funny when people make pronouncements on other people's weight because as a culture we have NO FORKING IDEA what women weigh.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 2:38 pm 
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j-dub wrote:
Desdemona wrote:
Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
Was just making polite conversation with my co-worker and mentioned the news which I just read about Plan B not being very effective for women over 165 lbs. and not effective at all for women over 176 lbs. Here I am talking about a shocking medical discovery which affects hundreds of thousands of US women. My co-worker's response was "well, you don't have to worry about that because you don't weigh that much. If anything, you're underweight."

Why, WHY do you feel the need to say that?

I don't have to worry about it because I have Essure and therefore have removed myself from the childbearing/accidental pregnancy equation altogether. NOT THAT IT'S RELEVANT, because I am not concerned for my own benefit but for the aforementioned HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF WOMEN who this affects. Not to mention, hey, fork you, I have the body type I have and after a literal lifetime of struggling with body self-consciousness, I am at a size and shape I am very happy with. I have skinny bits and I have fat bits and I'm fine with all of them. So stfu with your "underweight" shiitake, because two years ago all I heard was how my BMI made me borderline obese and it really wasn't such a huge leap from there to here. IT'S ALL ARBITRARY bullshiitake, I FEEL GREAT SO STFU.
BLECH. I'm always amazed at when people say stuff like this, because it illustrates that they see every single issue in terms of themselves ("Hmm, how much do I weigh? Oh, not within those numbers. So who gives a damn, since I'm not directly affected?"), and assume that everyone else's worldview is equally myopic.

I cosign all of the above. I also think it's funny when people make pronouncements on other people's weight because as a culture we have NO FORKING IDEA what women weigh.


AMEN. I am tall, which means that most people's perception of what I weigh or what dress size I wear is usually way off. NOT THAT IT'S THEIR BUSINESS TO BEGIN WITH.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 2:58 pm 
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My whole family has all sorts of body shaming and diet talk at all times but I was really upset recently about a story my sister told me. She is hypersensitive to body talk, she used to be plus size but she hasn't been now for at least 10 years. Anyway, she took off her coat and my Dad said, "I guess you haven't been going to the gym". Now she is on a crazy diet and told me though she was mad at Dad, at least it kickstarted her into full on dieting mode. It makes me so angry. She is a very healthy eater, she teaches yoga, she rides her bike, she's super active & he just has no right! I want to say something. Or send him some articles but I'm so mad, and this has been going on our whole lives so it's hard to do without rage.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 4:26 pm 
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LazySmurf wrote:
My whole family has all sorts of body shaming and diet talk at all times but I was really upset recently about a story my sister told me. She is hypersensitive to body talk, she used to be plus size but she hasn't been now for at least 10 years. Anyway, she took off her coat and my Dad said, "I guess you haven't been going to the gym". Now she is on a crazy diet and told me though she was mad at Dad, at least it kickstarted her into full on dieting mode. It makes me so angry. She is a very healthy eater, she teaches yoga, she rides her bike, she's super active & he just has no right! I want to say something. Or send him some articles but I'm so mad, and this has been going on our whole lives so it's hard to do without rage.
Just reading this made my pre-existing headache worse. Why can't people just STFU about other people's bodies? Like there's nothing else to talk about, right? Like…how's your job? Seen any good movies? Politics? Art? THE WEATHER? Anything but unsolicited commentary on someone else's dress size/dietary habits/exercise routine (or lack thereof)/weight, etc.? I mean, aside from being incomprehensibly rude and potentially hurtful and destructive, it is boring as hell.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 7:29 am 
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http://www.news10.net/news/local/articl ... pt=us_bn10

Quote:
The popular and unrelenting support received to those who are borderline obese (not just 30-40lbs overweight) frustrates me as a fitness advocate who intimately understands how poor health negatively effects a family, a community and a nation


Wait.....is this......an excuse?

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 7:55 am 
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Its interesting to get an update on Maria Kang, the "Hot Mom" that Desdemona and others posted about up thread! Thanks craiger_ny, for the link.

It sounds like FB shut down her account and removed her comments quoted above and
about being "little peeved because I think that we're normalizing obesity in our society," as hate speech, because FB users reported it. It sounds like FB is saying that its an accident, and her comment, while judgmental really doesn't seem to rise to "hate speech."

And, it looks like her comment wasn't an excuse, which makes it kind of worse! If she were trying to get out of the hole after the initial "What's Your Excuse" photo, that would be one thing, and maybe it was a clumsy justification. This was a comment she made after seeing pictures of obese women in lingerie on FB, talking about loving your body no matter what the size. Because in her view, we should all be shamed and isolated until we look the right way,I guess.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 8:30 am 
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not anything to do with the specific case you talk about (because i know less than nothing about it), but i was just thinking (in my pre-caffeine daze) wouldn't it be nice if all the hate speech on FB were reported and shut the fork down? also, there would be nothing left. facebook will eat itself.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 9:41 am 
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craiger_ny wrote:
http://www.news10.net/news/local/article/264373/2/Hot-Mom-Maria-Kang-banned-from-Facebook-for-hate-speech?hpt=us_bn10

Quote:
The popular and unrelenting support received to those who are borderline obese (not just 30-40lbs overweight) frustrates me as a fitness advocate who intimately understands how poor health negatively effects a family, a community and a nation


Wait.....is this......an excuse?


When people complain about "We've become a politically correct society," that just means they want to make racist/homophobic/sizest/misogynist comments and somehow not get called out. It makes me so mad! If I was supreme ruler of the universe they would all be forced into sensitivity training immediately after uttering the phrase "politically correct". She also mentioned that her right to free speech was infringed about so after sensitivity training she should probably take a government class.

Too bad she thinks having a hard body is more important than not being a crasshole.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 10:27 am 
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craiger_ny wrote:
http://www.news10.net/news/local/article/264373/2/Hot-Mom-Maria-Kang-banned-from-Facebook-for-hate-speech?hpt=us_bn10

Quote:
The popular and unrelenting support received to those who are borderline obese (not just 30-40lbs overweight) frustrates me as a fitness advocate who intimately understands how poor health negatively effects a family, a community and a nation


Wait.....is this......an excuse?

Because people who are obese have no personal understanding of how that affects their own bodies?


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 10:58 am 
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mollyjade wrote:
craiger_ny wrote:
http://www.news10.net/news/local/article/264373/2/Hot-Mom-Maria-Kang-banned-from-Facebook-for-hate-speech?hpt=us_bn10

Quote:
The popular and unrelenting support received to those who are borderline obese (not just 30-40lbs overweight) frustrates me as a fitness advocate who intimately understands how poor health negatively effects a family, a community and a nation


Wait.....is this......an excuse?

Because people who are obese have no personal understanding of how that affects their own bodies?


Let alone the whole goddamned nation. Apparently. You'd think that after wrecking a family and then a community one would take action. Now the nation is at risk.

Some Facebook posts will save us though.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 11:35 am 
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Kang seems like a crasshole, but that sucks that they booted her for "hate speech." Her views and statements are offensive, surely, and misguided, ignorant, hurtful, and stupid, but they're simply NOT hate speech, and it peas me off to see that term watered down in this way.

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