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 Post subject: Re: DOMA struck down
PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 11:26 am 
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mollyjade wrote:
linanil wrote:
So various articles I've read said that federal benefits only apply if your resident state recognizes same-sex marriage. The articles aren't lawyers so they could be wrong but does anyone have something that says different?

I think it's a gray area and will probably be the source of the next big gay rights supreme court case. It sounds like for tax purposes it will depend on where you live. But if you're in the military, you should get military rights no matter where you live (ability to live on base, get health care, get childcare, be notified in case of death).


I did find this which mentioned that military seemed the one exception which is a good surprise
http://www.npr.org/2013/06/26/195956178 ... ed-couples

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 Post subject: Re: DOMA struck down
PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 11:57 am 
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Efcliz wrote:
matwinser wrote:
Hurrah! Although I do miss Elaine V talking bullshiitake constantly.

Mat.


Changed that for you.


Better and still true!

Mat.

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 Post subject: Re: DOMA struck down
PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 2:02 pm 
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Was ElaineV anti-gay? I only sort of remember her.

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 Post subject: Re: DOMA struck down
PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 2:45 pm 
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She was against same-sex couples being able to adopt because all of them* only want to adopt brand new white babies.


*yes, all of them. She knows.

(I guess I'm just imagining my friends who adopted an African-American brother and sister as toddlers out of the city foster system)

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 Post subject: Re: DOMA struck down
PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 3:09 pm 
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And poor white her was stuck with a black baby...

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 Post subject: Re: DOMA struck down
PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 7:03 pm 
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The 9th circuit lifted the injunction on gay marriage in California! Couples have already started getting married.

Looking at photos of the weddings taking place today is a surefire way to make me cry and cry and cry.

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 Post subject: Re: DOMA struck down
PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 12:14 am 
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I'm going to the Castro tomorrow night in my No on 8 shirt. It's gonna be insaaaaane.

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 Post subject: Re: DOMA struck down
PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 8:19 am 
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Yes, this is huge for military. To everyone* who pooh poohs this by saying it's classist, assumes marriage is what everyone wants, doesn't help the most vulnerable LGBT members etc - yes I admit that most people aren't worrying about $400k tax bills but for the military this is effing huge. There are so many things from outright pay differences (housing allowance for being married goes up, plus partners can now live in base housing) to being able to be stationed overseas with a partner without visa papers (part of why husband & I had to shiitake or get off the pot with marriage was that it made it much easier for me to go to language school and move to Amsterdam with him).

* Not necessarily on the ppk, but I've seen it as a critique of the marriage movement in general. I will freely admit that it's not the only struggle.


ETA: on a mildly related note, I'm getting sick of people posting shiitake like this on facebook ( http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/a-30 ... rc=fanpage ) because I feel like I have a lot to learn and sort out in case I need to point servicemember families to resources. If it affects our command, it affects us. And of course I feel like our command (though not every one) would have always welcomed LGBT partners of sailors, since we make a point to include girlfriends or anyone the sailor considers family, but I need to be able to be a resource to people if needed so yes, this affects us. It's also good to know if there's going to be a mad dash to the pass & id office or other unusual patterns on base so everybody can work around that..


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 Post subject: Re: DOMA struck down
PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 6:56 pm 
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Yeah, that kind of diminishment makes me go nuts. Class is most definitely not an element in being able to be at your partner's bedside during a medical emergency or maintaining the legal right to reside in their home if they pass away.

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 Post subject: Re: DOMA struck down
PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 8:20 pm 
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annak wrote:
Yes, this is huge for military. To everyone* who pooh poohs this by saying it's classist, assumes marriage is what everyone wants, doesn't help the most vulnerable LGBT members etc - yes I admit that most people aren't worrying about $400k tax bills but for the military this is effing huge. There are so many things from outright pay differences (housing allowance for being married goes up, plus partners can now live in base housing) to being able to be stationed overseas with a partner without visa papers (part of why husband & I had to shiitake or get off the pot with marriage was that it made it much easier for me to go to language school and move to Amsterdam with him).

I think it can be hard to strike a balance between the ideal of queer liberatory politics and the practical necessities of gay assimilation. I agree that DOMA doesn't, on the face of it, help poor queer people of colour, trans* folks, and others who have, frankly, often more pressing safety concerns than the benefits that equal marriage confer. And my concern is that QTIPOCS are generally told to put their struggle aside for the moment with the implication that once gay marriage is legal the LGBTQ community will put its resources behind social justice struggles that impact the more marginalized members of the LGBTQ community but, as we have seen with any number of movements (feminism, civil rights) the more marginalized members put the group's stated needs before their own and then get forked over in the end.

I do think that every step forward is a good one and that increased queer visibility (even if it is the most "acceptable" queer bodies) is a net positive for all queer folks. And that the rights conferred by recognition of gay marriage are important ones. But I'm also saying that from a position of privilege.

But I am also seeing a lot of what I would consider rightful and righteous anger from POCs who have fought alongside (and within) the queer community to overturn DOMA who are feeling left out in the cold with the erasure of the impacts the Voting Rights Act decision will have, as well as the implication that gay marriage is the most pressing issue facing queer folks today.

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 Post subject: Re: DOMA struck down
PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 9:39 pm 
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Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
She was against same-sex couples being able to adopt because all of them* only want to adopt brand new white babies.


*yes, all of them. She knows.

(I guess I'm just imagining my friends who adopted an African-American brother and sister as toddlers out of the city foster system)


You're also imagining the fact that gay couples are the most likely to adopt older, disabled, and/or multiracial kids.


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 Post subject: Re: DOMA struck down
PostPosted: Mon Jul 01, 2013 1:47 pm 
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Ariann wrote:
Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
She was against same-sex couples being able to adopt because all of them* only want to adopt brand new white babies.


*yes, all of them. She knows.

(I guess I'm just imagining my friends who adopted an African-American brother and sister as toddlers out of the city foster system)


You're also imagining the fact that gay couples are the most likely to adopt older, disabled, and/or multiracial kids.


Make-believe!!! All of it! Teh gayz just want to take our white babbbys!!

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 Post subject: Re: DOMA struck down
PostPosted: Mon Jul 01, 2013 1:48 pm 
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Saturday night in the Castro was pret-ty insane. Although, arguably no more insane than any other pride year. My boyfriend's asparagus got grabbed, he was very excited about that.

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