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semiautomatic
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Post subject: Re: May 21, 2011 - The return of Jesus!  Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 1:14 am |
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| Dildo Queen |
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Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:47 pm
Posts: 1750
Location: ontario, canada.
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just what exactly would he be saving us from? and what would the rest of us be condemned to.
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Nothing raises awareness of D3 in soy milk like hardcore anal. - Erinnerung
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hoveringdog™
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Post subject: Re: May 21, 2011 - The return of Jesus! Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 1:50 am |
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| Naked Under Apron |
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Joined: Mon Oct 11, 2010 4:02 pm
Posts: 1766
Location: Spokane, WA
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semiautomatic wrote: just what exactly would he be saving us from? and what would the rest of us be condemned to. I guess you didn't read all the way to the end of the book. Jesus kills all the unbelievers and the birds feast on the corpses. Then he hangs around for a while, ruling over the faithful. Eventually the global theocracy business gets boring, so he raises all the heathen from the dead and casts them into the lake of fire. For the hi-larious hijinks.
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"All PPK gamers should put on their badge of shame right now. You will never leave the no-sex thread." - Vantine
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semiautomatic
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Post subject: Re: May 21, 2011 - The return of Jesus! Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 2:51 am |
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| Dildo Queen |
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Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:47 pm
Posts: 1750
Location: ontario, canada.
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well jesus is mighty quick to jump to conclusions, isn't he?
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Nothing raises awareness of D3 in soy milk like hardcore anal. - Erinnerung
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Rhizopus Oligosporus
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Post subject: Re: May 21, 2011 - The return of Jesus! Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:27 pm |
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| Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan |
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Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:39 pm
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Nicole wrote: matwinser wrote: In actual fact, the verb 'To Cank' means to ascend towards Jesus during The Rapture.
Mat. I have mathematically predicted that this statement is 87.8% correct. This is why I love the ppk.
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"Try to make a spaghetti. That is the best dessert for me. It does not require oven or freezer." -best spam ever
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crowderpea
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Post subject: Re: May 21, 2011 - The return of Jesus! Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:40 pm |
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| Chip Strong |
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Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 1:10 pm
Posts: 964
Location: East Tennessee!
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I guess I better hurry up and read all 87 books of the Left Behind series, so I know what to expect. I'll go ahead and share what little I know already (from this blog): 1.) We will all turn into one-dimensional characters. 2.) We will all spend a lot of time on cell phones and airplanes. 3.) All children will disappear and nobody will care. 4.) The antichrist will be a Slavic guy and will date his secretary. 5.) Rayford Steele will blame his infidelities on a flight attendant. That harpie tempted him. 6.) Buck Williams will be played by Kirk Cameron. He will accept Jesus into his heart while kneeling next to a urinal in an airport. 7.) The only parts of the Bible that will matter will be the Book of Revelations, interpreted literally, natch, and the parts of Daniel that can be forced into that interpretation. 
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Animals are my friends--and I don't eat my friends.
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"God said, kill and eat!" ~ my grandmother
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Friday
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Post subject: Re: May 21, 2011 - The return of Jesus! Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 4:40 pm |
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| We So Excited |
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Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 7:44 pm
Posts: 527
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Jesus is coming for my 40th birthday?!
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acr
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Post subject: Re: May 21, 2011 - The return of Jesus! Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 5:15 pm |
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| No-pants hermit 4 lyfe |
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Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 10:22 am
Posts: 2235
Location: BKLN
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crowderpea wrote: 1.) We will all turn into one-dimensional characters.
2.) We will all spend a lot of time on cell phones and airplanes.
3.) All children will disappear and nobody will care.
4.) The antichrist will be a Slavic guy and will date his secretary.
5.) Rayford Steele will blame his infidelities on a flight attendant. That harpie tempted him.
6.) Buck Williams will be played by Kirk Cameron. He will accept Jesus into his heart while kneeling next to a urinal in an airport.
7.) The only parts of the Bible that will matter will be the Book of Revelations, interpreted literally, natch, and the parts of Daniel that can be forced into that interpretation.
!!! now i'm so excited! note to self: be a secretary by may 21, 2011--just in case!
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"I dont need someone to slather my butthole, I just need them to bring me tasty foods." - Adam Crisis
"I'm ok with people forcing tables in me." - lavawitch
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idatetattooedguys
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Post subject: Re: May 21, 2011 - The return of Jesus! Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 9:39 pm |
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| Nailed to the V |
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Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 7:39 pm
Posts: 564
Location: Joplin, Missouri
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crowderpea wrote: I guess I better hurry up and read all 87 books of the Left Behind series, so I know what to expect. I'll go ahead and share what little I know already (from this blog): 1.) We will all turn into one-dimensional characters. 2.) We will all spend a lot of time on cell phones and airplanes. 3.) All children will disappear and nobody will care. 4.) The antichrist will be a Slavic guy and will date his secretary. 5.) Rayford Steele will blame his infidelities on a flight attendant. That harpie tempted him. 6.) Buck Williams will be played by Kirk Cameron. He will accept Jesus into his heart while kneeling next to a urinal in an airport. 7.) The only parts of the Bible that will matter will be the Book of Revelations, interpreted literally, natch, and the parts of Daniel that can be forced into that interpretation. I caught my non-religious mother reading a book from the 'Left Behind' series and she said, 'If you read it as science fiction, it's not bad.'
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Tofulish
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Post subject: Re: May 21, 2011 - The return of Jesus! Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 9:42 pm |
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| Semen Strong |
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Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
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Location: Cliffbar NJ
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Friday wrote: Jesus is coming for my 40th birthday?! One heck of a party! We should start baking now.
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But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles
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monkeytoes
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Post subject: Re: May 21, 2011 - The return of Jesus! Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:40 pm |
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| Dead by dawn |
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Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:54 pm
Posts: 6234
Location: Seattle
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Friday wrote: Jesus is coming for my 40th birthday?! My bff's 40th is 12/21/12. So Jesus is coming for your 40th and the world is ending on hers. Nothing good happened when I turned 40.
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SuzyHB
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Post subject: Re: May 21, 2011 - The return of Jesus! Posted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 8:06 pm |
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| Banned from Vegan Freaks. |
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Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:22 am
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Mihl wrote: Again?
Wait, I confused this with the end of the world date. Really.... is it too much to ask for all these people predicting the end of the world, to please get on the same page and agree on a common date. I need to know when I can quit my job and plan to stop paying my credit cards.
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That's Ms. Headbanger to you.
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designedtobekind
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Post subject: Re: May 21, 2011 - The return of Jesus! Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 11:23 am |
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| The Real Hamburger Helper |
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Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 10:01 pm
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Location: Maryland
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hoveringdog wrote: Ha, a relative of Harold Camping's--a cousin or nephew or something, I forget--lived in my hometown, and back when Camping was predicting September 6, 1994 as the date, the dude had painted a big notice on the back window of his car with the date of the second coming. It must have been embarrassing on September 7th. I guess he didn't want to upstage my 18th birthday. 
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