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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:37 am 
Baking In The Flavor
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monkeytoes wrote:
whichsarah wrote:
wait!! i want to know if my life has value! i am gainfully employed! but i dropped out of university! but i'm not fat! but my job is supporting a student with complex disabilities to attend a dildo liberal arts college! but maybe i shouldn't call it that because it's a jesusy college! also i take antidepressants which maybe means i'm weak! i need answers!

Do you smoke crack? Are you washed, or unwashed? Do you have a lawyer and/or $15 million?


a. no, the smoke aggravates my asthma so i shoot up instead.
b. currently i am unwashed. i wanted to take a bath but decided sleeping was more important. tomorrow i will be washed. that sounds like i am a car. oh! i have a car! but i have huge loans for it! conundrum!
c. no and no. although actually i think a lawyer in berlin still has my power of attorney when i was talking to him about the crasshole museum who fired me illegally and then didn't pay me for 2 months. so um. i've visited a lawyer? does that count?


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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:38 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:38 am 
Baking In The Flavor
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Katiecarlos wrote:
I am going to bed kids, I have to get up in the morning and contribute to society (and I have a hair appointment at 10 that is gonna take forrrrrrrrrevvvvvvvvvver)


nooo! i need to know if i am a valuable member of society! how will i know whether to bother getting up in the morning!


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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:42 am 
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Oh man, that was so satisfying. Like eating a big bowl of minestrone soup. Made by my personal chef and served by my maid while I'm getting my hair and makeup done.


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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:43 am 
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whichsarah wrote:
monkeytoes wrote:
whichsarah wrote:
wait!! i want to know if my life has value! i am gainfully employed! but i dropped out of university! but i'm not fat! but my job is supporting a student with complex disabilities to attend a dildo liberal arts college! but maybe i shouldn't call it that because it's a jesusy college! also i take antidepressants which maybe means i'm weak! i need answers!

Do you smoke crack? Are you washed, or unwashed? Do you have a lawyer and/or $15 million?


a. no, the smoke aggravates my asthma so i shoot up instead.
b. currently i am unwashed. i wanted to take a bath but decided sleeping was more important. tomorrow i will be washed. that sounds like i am a car. oh! i have a car! but i have huge loans for it! conundrum!
c. no and no. although actually i think a lawyer in berlin still has my power of attorney when i was talking to him about the crasshole museum who fired me illegally and then didn't pay me for 2 months. so um. i've visited a lawyer? does that count?

Your case is very complicated. If I had majored in something useful, I would surely be able to help you, but instead I must refer you to a respected adjuticator.

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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:44 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:48 am 
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Man, I contributed to society so hard when I got my eyebrows done on Sunday. What the fork did you poor, unwashed plebs do?

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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:51 am 
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I'm overdue for contributing to society because my stylist is on a leave of absence. When she gets back, I'm gonna get a haircut that will end poverty, disease and oppression.

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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:52 am 
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Y'all, it's just not the same without her. It's just not the same.


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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 1:31 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
Katiecarlos wrote:
You do not have to tell me you like me, all the attention I am getting is proof enough! I am flattered! I wish we could get back on point :(


I wish I could stick my finger up your butt.


Way to cross-post! High-five!

All right, who's going to start the poll-thread as to which famous flouncer is playing a convoluted joke on us?

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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 1:35 am 
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I imagine her hairdresser will be exempt from the draft.


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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 3:43 am 
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I accidentally contributed to society once. :/

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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 10:30 am 
Flounceiad 2011
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vegimator wrote:
Oh boy. First of all, William Shakespeare's Dildo Liberal Arts College has a great Art History program. Leave them out of this.

Frealz. They were at the top of my grad school list; quit harshing my mellow!
TheAmazonProject wrote:
Is it too early to get popcorn??

It's never too early. My only advice would be to make a lot!
pandacookie wrote:
fork you! Lawyer! Daddy! Knee! Watch the sun go around the space in the university of the unwashed massed up on the spreading plain state of my head. I will talk! You cannot stop me and my endless talk. here is a picture.

Okay, I'm convinced; there's no arguing with her. Draft everyone. Immediately. Except me (and the guy who cleans my pool, because I am not doing that shiitake)!

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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 10:37 am 
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fork, I missed the ending of this shiitake!

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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 11:27 am 
Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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i mostly want to know why with 15 mil shes not actually living in the city? brooklyn? cmon KC.


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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 11:30 am 
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graffitipassion wrote:
Oh man, that was so satisfying. Like eating a big bowl of minestrone soup. Made by my personal chef and served by my maid while I'm getting my hair and makeup done and video chatting with my bother in Iraq.


I was so proud of my self for waking up and thinking of that last part, that I had to come here and add it. Except I thought of it 8 hours too late, and I didn't mean to quote myself and repost it. Go me!


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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 11:57 am 
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I am still confused. I am average weighted, I have a history degree but it's from a military school (which may or may not be Dildo University?), no crack habit (yet! I like to keep my options open)...so did I fork up by joining the military? I think I screwed this all up. Goddamn it.

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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 1:08 pm 
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I'm gone for a week and this happens?! Dammit, I've missed the PPK!


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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 1:24 pm 
Flounceiad 2011
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Bun wrote:
I'm gone for a week and this happens?! Dammit, I've missed the PPK!

No fear, Bun; it's early days yet, and 2011 is shaping up to be EPIC!

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Nothing is safe from weiners in my neighborhood... ~ crowderpea
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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 1:54 pm 
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I think you mean "EPPiK."

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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 6:40 pm 
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I'm a chubby art student who sometimes smokes weed... so I guess the military would be an excellent option for my life path! There's nothing more productive than shooting Afghans and bombing their villages!


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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 6:45 pm 
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Ah yes, William Shakespeare's Dildo Liberal Arts College, rival and nemesis of Christopher Marlowe's Buttplug Art & Design Institute.

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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 6:46 pm 
Mispronounces Daiya
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maygles wrote:
Ah yes, William Shakespeare's Dildo Liberal Arts College, rival and nemesis of Christopher Marlowe's Buttplug Art & Design Institute.


Go fighting dildos!!

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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 6:49 pm 
Flat Chesty McNoBoobs
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This is all going to turn out to be an elaborate marketing subterfuge for Community, isn't it? I just KNOW the fighting dildos will show up next episode!

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 Post subject: Re: Patriarchal Military Commercials
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 7:18 pm 
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Man, I knew clicking on a thread that was six pages long (and only one when I last looked at it) was going to be epic. All the best stuff happens when I'm asleep. Stupid time zones!

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