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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 8:27 am 
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Having a Facebook fight with a friend about me being "hypersensitive" about women in positions of power getting public "compliments" on their looks. When he posted something about how people are being hypersensitive, ten men responded "right on," I responded "wait just a sec, here's why this matters," one woman liked my comment and that was the whole conversation. I then posted a follow up article about it and he was like, "this is biased!" Are people aware of themselves at all?


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 9:28 am 
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i would venture, no, sadly. boooooo.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 4:54 pm 
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This isn't so much a challenge as a feminist confusion.

I mentioned to someone I know recently that I'd been on a date with a woman (I am female) and he asked whether I "swing both ways". For some reason I felt uncomfortable with the way he phrased it but I don't know why! Does anyone else feel similarly annoyed by this phrase?

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:03 pm 
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Yes, I'm annoyed by it. I'm glad you can identify that something about that phrase makes you feel blech. I feel like 'swinging' is a strange verb in the context that it's used. Swinging, to me, means going back and forth, (and there's also the sex definition of switching partners.) I usually tell people who get caught up in the gender aspect of dating, that humans date humans, there is really no 'back and forth' aspect of it when there's no binary.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:20 pm 
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Swing both ways brings up images of doors that swing out and in, often used in kitchens. That is the only time I've heard that term used in it's original context. Basically, I think the term is meant to symbolize that you could go either way. Now whether that makes you feel uncomfortable, I can see but I'm not bisexual so I wouldn't have thought a problem with it. I also don't know if I would've used it as a phrase with someone when talking to them though.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:22 pm 
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julialegume wrote:
Yes, I'm annoyed by it. I'm glad you can identify that something about that phrase makes you feel blech. I feel like 'swinging' is a strange verb in the context that it's used. Swinging, to me, means going back and forth, (and there's also the sex definition of switching partners.) I usually tell people who get caught up in the gender aspect of dating, that humans date humans, there is really no 'back and forth' aspect of it when there's no binary.


Thank you! That's really helpful. I've recently been belatedly politicised about genderqueer issues by a friend (even though I've been into LGBT stuff for years on a personal level, somehow genderqueer stuff totally passed me by) so this makes sense. Plus the sense of swinging as a temporary or confused thing.

The other thing which I've been thinking about since writing my first post is the instant unease I felt at how he seemed to be trying to be delicate about it, as though my sexuality was something I would (or should) be embarrassed about or ashamed of. Don't mention the s-word kind of thing (the sex word, not the other one).

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 9:02 pm 
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Imogen wrote:
julialegume wrote:
Yes, I'm annoyed by it. I'm glad you can identify that something about that phrase makes you feel blech. I feel like 'swinging' is a strange verb in the context that it's used. Swinging, to me, means going back and forth, (and there's also the sex definition of switching partners.) I usually tell people who get caught up in the gender aspect of dating, that humans date humans, there is really no 'back and forth' aspect of it when there's no binary.


Thank you! That's really helpful. I've recently been belatedly politicised about genderqueer issues by a friend (even though I've been into LGBT stuff for years on a personal level, somehow genderqueer stuff totally passed me by) so this makes sense. Plus the sense of swinging as a temporary or confused thing.

The other thing which I've been thinking about since writing my first post is the instant unease I felt at how he seemed to be trying to be delicate about it, as though my sexuality was something I would (or should) be embarrassed about or ashamed of. Don't mention the s-word kind of thing (the sex word, not the other one).


I agree with everything! The "back and forth" thing is particularly annoying, the other night I was talking to my sister about a girl I used to like, and she said "but then you realized you like dick, right?" and its hurtful. I didn't stop being queer when I started dating a guy.

Like its not acceptable to ask straight people to explain their sexuality, its kinda rude to ask anyway.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 9:47 pm 
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Shy Mox wrote:
I agree with everything! The "back and forth" thing is particularly annoying, the other night I was talking to my sister about a girl I used to like, and she said "but then you realized you like dick, right?" and its hurtful. I didn't stop being queer when I started dating a guy.

Like its not acceptable to ask straight people to explain their sexuality, its kinda rude to ask anyway.

I HATE that! I hate it on so many levels. First of all, I hate how it implies that all relationships boil down to sex. Then I hate it because I find it disrespectful to refer to people or relationships as dicks and vaginas and whatnot. We are more than our genitals! And, I hate when people use the term "swing both ways" because it sounds disrespectful and assumes there are only two rigid genders that exist. I have the capacity to love, have sex and appreciate anyone regardless of their gender identity!

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 4:37 pm 
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Some guy at the pub on Friday night trying to assert that in any given scenario, men are physically stronger than women.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 5:06 pm 
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he should have been at the bar with me last night, i was next to a guy that made me feel like an absolute moose. of course, he probably would have had something douchey to say about that guy too.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 1:28 pm 
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Ugh. Beer Should Be Like Violence: Domestic

It's a sign from a "local-organic-green" cafe.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 9:08 pm 
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Mr. Shankly wrote:
Ugh. Beer Should Be Like Violence: Domestic

It's a sign from a "local-organic-green" cafe.
The hell???

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 10:04 pm 
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Man that second sign is even more enraging than the first. Come on, you're a small organic restaurant in Houston, do you really think you can afford to pull that shiitake? Really?

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 3:38 pm 
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Oh Louise Mensch, if I didn't know you better I'd think this was a parody.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 4:42 pm 
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heh. I prefer to say "I didn't bother".

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 11:45 am 
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8ball wrote:
Some guy at the pub on Friday night trying to assert that in any given scenario, men are physically stronger than women.


Did he demonstrate by pushing a small human out of his genitalia?

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:05 pm 
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Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
8ball wrote:
Some guy at the pub on Friday night trying to assert that in any given scenario, men are physically stronger than women.
Did he demonstrate by pushing a small human out of his genitalia?
Love.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:09 pm 
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Erika is the best <3

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 1:13 pm 
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More Delhi rape victims - this time a 5 year old girl who was first kidnapped, and a 19 year old who was gang raped. I can't even. (Warning: lots of triggers.) Also, seriously, they put "rape" in quotes? To me, that sounds like the BBC is questioning whether that's the appropriate word to use. Newsflash: It's totally the right word to use.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-22212004

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 2:50 pm 
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That is the worst lutin.

Quote:
The [5 year old] girl was "conscious and alert" and her condition stable, but her injuries are infected and so severe she may need corrective surgery, an official of the All India Institute of Medical Sciences hospital told reporters.

Police identified the accused as a 22-year-old, who they said had fled the capital after leaving the girl for dead in an apartment of the same building where her family lives.B.N. Bansal, a doctor from the Swami Dayanand Hospital, where the girl was initially admitted, said on Friday that she had undergone an operation due to severe injuries.

"We found candles and an oil bottle from inside the child when we operated upon her," Bansal told reporters. "The next 48 hours will be crucial for her."

http://news.yahoo.com/indian-police-arr ... 48117.html

I've read that tourism to India has dropped by 25% among general travelers and 35% among female travelers in specific. I hope the loss of tourism dollars combined with internal pressure is enough to make the government take action to reform attitudes soon.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 7:55 pm 
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From INSIDE of her? Am I reading that correctly???

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 9:09 pm 
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Yup. He raped her with objects. For 40 hours. Left her for dead when he was done.

Her family was offered $37 not to press charges.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 9:16 pm 
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When I read about this in the news I just started crying. I don't even know what to say.

Tofulish wrote:
've read that tourism to India has dropped by 25% among general travelers and 35% among female travelers in specific. I hope the loss of tourism dollars combined with internal pressure is enough to make the government take action to reform attitudes soon.

I hope so, too. Money really is the motivating factor for so many govts. My husband and I had planned to visit India after we graduate. Not anymore.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 8:40 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
Yup. He raped her with objects. For 40 hours. Left her for dead when he was done.

Her family was offered $37 not to press charges.
I really don't know what to say. This story makes me feel like I'm actually going to vomit. I'm just...no.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 6:30 pm 
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While I freely admit to having spent much of today laughing at this, it's still some pretty disturbing shiitake. (I'm also bound to confess my main concern is the behavior of some of the students - who stabs a peanut butter cup? Definitely not having sex with that kid!)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/16/sex-ed-horror-stories-sexual-education-misinformation_n_3095039.html?utm_hp_ref=tw

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