Post Punk Kitchen Forum

The other night my boyfriend and I went to dinner with his best friend and his fiance. We were walking out to the parking lot and we were behind a couple....the woman was tiny and slender, wearing knee-boots and leggings with her outfit.

As soon as we got in the car the fiance started in on the woman, using words like, "slutty" and "skinny bisque." I was floored at the complete hate that was coming out of her mouth. She doesn't even know this "skinny bisque!" I called her on it and she admitted that she was jealous that she didn't look like that, and then continued with the hate-talk. I just couldn't believe that she would talk such crepe, admit to why she was doing it, and then keep on doing it.

Woman-on-woman jealously hate is the worst.

I didnt want to make a thread in here, but I figured you feminists would like this:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eve-ensle ... 89013.html
(rape culture rant)

That was good and on point.
I just read a newsarticle... local... about an assault that happened on campus. The little bit at the end made me angry even thought it was all good advice. The end bit was "how to stay safe". All I could think was "Don't Rape". I should be able to walk where and when I want. But all of that advice would work to prevent getting mugged as well.

often it's other women who say things like "well i'm not a feminist or anything," as a pre-cursor to a statement about wanting equality or respect between sexes.

I want to scream, "NEWSFLASH: that IS being a feminist!"

"Being a feminist" has gotten so wrapped up in cultural trappings that people associate it with negativity and hatred.

Meanwhile you would never hear someone say, "Well I don't believe in civil rights or anything but", as a precursor to a statement about wanting equality or respect between races.

+1

I think sometimes people just think they need to know more about what feminism is before declaring themselves feminist.

i think its more that calling yourself a feminist is like this big taboo and means you hate all men and want to dress all butch and youre no fun. i went through a phase where i wouldnt say it, but im happy to say ive since grown up and fess up to loving equality.

People who use the term "real women."

Ugh, I am so sick of that term. I can't think of any context in which I'd be thrilled with it, but I get especially annoyed when it's used by otherwise feminist types, talking about female bodies. "Real women have curves" etc. Garrumph.

Yup. I'd really like if we could move past that kind of exclusionary definition of womanhood.

+1,000,000. Aside from the fact that some people are just naturally very thin, are women who have little body fat because of starvation or illness not "real" women anymore?

My own contribution: it drives me nuts when I hear women describe other women as "bisques" or "croissants," especially if the name-caller identifies themself as a feminist. Seriously........no. Don't do that.

Real women like exclusionary definitions of womanhood.

My grandmother says women shouldn't work because we are 'taking all the good jobs from men.' and that we shouldn't be allowed to serve because it's a 'man's job'

augh.

<3

Oh.my.goodness. I don't know what I would've done if my grandmother said that to me.

She's batty.

Me too! What changed my mind was seeing a video clip of Gloria Steinem explaining that feminism "isn't a PR campaign, it's a movement."

I really dislike it when people use the word "raped" like "I just raped that test!" or "I just Facebook raped so-and-so!" It's troublesome and tasteless.

Yes, completely shitty way to describe something that is as unlike actual rape as to exist in an alternate dimension!

Mat.

Woah, that is forked up. Who says that?!

Yeah, "fraping" (Facebook raping) is a thing with the kids. I find it abhorrent. Someone hacking your FB and embarrassing you is in no way comparable to rape.

I hear it in sports a lot - team such-and-such "raped" their opponent (meaning they won by a large margin). Gross.

wow. i'm so very glad i cancelled my facespace account. this just gives me one more reason i'm glad i did it.

I actually called out the last person who I heard using 'rape' in an inappropriate, hyperbolic context, and was pleasantly surprised that he was immediately contrite. He was basically saying how the government had 'raped' him, and I said "I really don't like for people to use that word casually or inappropriately." And he paused, really gave a thought to what he had just said (as in, I could almost see the thought passing over his eyes it was such a moment), and then said "I'm sorry."

Last night my sister was telling me about a conversation she was having with one other woman and two men on Facebook. About how she doesn't want equality because there are some things men are better at. I said "so you find it fine that men are paid more than women for the same job?" She said it depends on the job and if she was a miner, men should be paid more than her.

Sometimes (frequently) I want to smack her. She also uses rape in a similar way to the last few posts.