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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Sun Jan 26, 2014 6:41 pm 
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Oops I also just saw that and posted it to the body shaming thread.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:04 am 
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Lepelaar, I'm so happy you had a good response from your manager. That sort of support makes all the difference in the world.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Jan 27, 2014 11:43 pm 
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Lepelaar, I'm really glad to hear your manager was so receptive and compassionate and awesome about that situation. You deserve to have your concerns respected and treated with the utmost seriousness, and I'm so happy to hear he was appropriately responsive to that.

Missdelaney, that's a tough one. Aside from Fee's awesome retort, I second coroupita's suggestion: just say you are uncomfortable having your appearance referred to by customers. It sounds like you too have an awesome manager who will back you up if you need to put your foot down and educate someone as to what boundaries are. That can make all the difference in the world.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 5:57 pm 
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http://www.newsday.com/long-island/suff ... -1.3612100


A Suffolk jury acquitted a Sound Beach woman Monday of killing a Ridge couple after driving head-on into their car, but convicted her of manslaughter in the death of her own baby, born prematurely as a result of the crash.

(the second time i clicked on this, the rest of the article got put behind a paywall. so..maybe it will be visible?)


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 6:49 pm 
***LIES!!!***
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WHAT.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 7:53 am 
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Ariann wrote:
WHAT.
Seriously. That is crazy.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 11:55 pm 
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I loved my time at Columbia Law, so I was really disappointed to hear that CU has a history of not taking sexual assault claims seriously. I know this is a serious problem at many other universities - but I found everything at CU so supportive and wonderful, that I am really let down to hear about how sexual assault complaints were mishandled, the inappropriateness of the questioning and the general blaming of the victims involved.

http://jezebel.com/columbias-president- ... 1512651506

Trigger warning.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 1:44 pm 
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ugh UGH UGH:
http://guycodeblog.mtv.com/2014/01/29/metal-girlfriend/

I mean, it's forking MTV-so-what-should-I-expect, but still...

and here's an ok rebuttal that still, to my mind, gets some stuff wrong but expresses some of the frustration I feel too: http://www.cultistzine.com/2014/01/30/bra-burning-why-is-there-an-idiot-writing-about-why-there-are-so-many-cute-girls-at-metal-and-hardcore-shows-now/


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 1:52 pm 
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"Talk to cute girls like they are people." Um okay. Good tip. Maybe next time you could suggest treating them like humans rather than prey animals if its not too radical.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 6:27 pm 
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Mike was just looking at some website that's basically a wall of memes*. One of them was a picture of a tall white guy with 2 Asian girls that said something like, "In Asia, too young is just a name."

*Just so no one gets the wrong impression of my husband, most of them were of the "too damn high" meme.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Tue Feb 04, 2014 8:28 pm 
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The rush to defend rape culture is so weird to me.

In all my years and all my working with people in health care and now in law (sort of) I have only ever talked to one person who was falsely accused of rape. One. But I know hundreds of victims who never had their day in court. But gods forbid if we say anyone famous might be a rapist.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Tue Feb 04, 2014 8:39 pm 
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sigh, this is quite the difficult topic. Just like when friends ask "who's the man in the relationship". But that's a whole other topic in itself.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Tue Feb 04, 2014 9:11 pm 
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Darnit, self. Stop trying to have a conversation with people who post mainstream news pop-science interpretations of scientific research by pointing out all the problems with using the research to come to the conclusion that the mainstream news headline tries to do.

Why do I never learn my lesson?


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Tue Feb 04, 2014 9:34 pm 
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I don't even know if I'm ready to get into it yet annak... But would you happen to be referring to the topic of home birth?


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Tue Feb 04, 2014 9:37 pm 
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A-yup!


ETA: There was also a study a few weeks ago though that a NICU doctor friend posted about pacifiers in hospitals not harming breastfeeding outcomes, which made my head explode because it looked at a small sample at the same hospital in two different chunks of time..and did absolutely no follow-up after people left the hospital. So that one drove me kinda nuts too, though it wasn't strictly a mainstream news interpretation but rather the study itself being used to conclude something…

EATA: He wasn't the one who posted the home birth thing, and he's a smart guy, but can I be allowed to maybe not take breastfeeding advice from a childfree gay man, even if he is smart and well educated?


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Tue Feb 04, 2014 10:34 pm 
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Wait, woah. I thought I'd posted the last couple comments in the awkward facebook thread for some reason. It's not really a feminist rant at all, sorry all!!


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Tue Feb 04, 2014 11:28 pm 
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Someone on my friend's list posted this on FB and squealed about how nice and awesome it is. NO. It's infuriating. I hate being accosted on the street for any reason, must less being ordered to smile or casually touched by a stranger. The guy shames the women who don't want to interact with him, and acknowledges on his youtube page that he is supposed to get permission to film people but he blatantly doesn't do it. I would be so angry. I really want to say something but if I do I will be the awful, angry spoilsport who ruins things, so I am hoping that venting about it here will get it out of my system more constructively.

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btw. i AM supposed to but i don't tell them this is going on youtube. i wanted them to GENUINELY feel happy and have their day made. if i go "oh sign this waiver." then they feel like the act was just for show and it's not.




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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 8:36 am 
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Gah! If he wants to see a smile he should go look in a forking mirror!


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 8:40 am 
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annak wrote:
EATA: He wasn't the one who posted the home birth thing, and he's a smart guy, but can I be allowed to maybe not take breastfeeding advice from a childfree gay man, even if he is smart and well educated?

What does his sexuality have to do with anything?

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Last edited by j-dub on Wed Feb 05, 2014 8:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 8:54 am 
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annak wrote:
A-yup!


ETA: There was also a study a few weeks ago though that a NICU doctor friend posted about pacifiers in hospitals not harming breastfeeding outcomes, which made my head explode because it looked at a small sample at the same hospital in two different chunks of time..and did absolutely no follow-up after people left the hospital. So that one drove me kinda nuts too, though it wasn't strictly a mainstream news interpretation but rather the study itself being used to conclude something…

EATA: He wasn't the one who posted the home birth thing, and he's a smart guy, but can I be allowed to maybe not take breastfeeding advice from a childfree gay man, even if he is smart and well educated?

You don't have to take advice from anyone. but I don't know if being a gay man means that he is completely innately ignorant on the topic any more than anyone else is. Having breasts does not make one a de facto breastfeeding mavin.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 9:22 am 
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It means that he doesn't have a partner who's breastfed. I woudn't take advice fro my husband, but he's at least watched the process a lot and sat in on some LC consultations.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 9:39 am 
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Fleurdenoir wrote:
Someone on my friend's list posted this on FB and squealed about how nice and awesome it is. NO. It's infuriating. I hate being accosted on the street for any reason, must less being ordered to smile or casually touched by a stranger.

ugh, he physically halts someone on a moving bicycle and tells her "you're not allowed to leave unless you smile"? nope.

and the clip at the end?! how forking gross.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 11:25 am 
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j-dub wrote:
annak wrote:
EATA: He wasn't the one who posted the home birth thing, and he's a smart guy, but can I be allowed to maybe not take breastfeeding advice from a childfree gay man, even if he is smart and well educated?

What does his sexuality have to do with anything?
annak wrote:
It means that he doesn't have a partner who's breastfed. I woudn't take advice fro my husband, but he's at least watched the process a lot and sat in on some LC consultations.
Obviously I don't know the particular gay man in question, but it's not impossible that he might know someone who has breastfed, and it seems a bit much to dismiss someone's input because of their gender or sexual orientation. For that matter, I'm guessing that there are plenty of male doctors (gay and straight) more acquainted with the minutiae of how the process works than a nursing mother. When I was running a 102 degree fever from mastitis I got on the phone to my (male) OB-GYN, not one of my fellow breastfeeding mothers.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 11:38 am 
Hearts James Cromwell
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EmperorTomatoKetchup wrote:
ugh, he physically halts someone on a moving bicycle and tells her "you're not allowed to leave unless you smile"? nope.

and the clip at the end?! how forking gross.


Yep, that looked dangerous. He could have caused an accident. He's not being nice, he's exploiting people (all women in this particular case) to make money via his youtube channel. It's gross. It makes me feel better that I'm not the only one who doesn't think this is cute. He is epically clueless, some of the women looked like they were smiling very nervously, the way we are conditioned to handle men who get in our faces in order to stay safe and avoid pissing them off.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 1:47 pm 
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I just want to say I've been really upset by the scores of people jumping to defend Woody Allen and essentially calling an incest survivor a liar. I read a great piece today that put it as, if Allen has the right to be presumed innocent until proven guilty (as so many of his supporters say), then surely Dylan Farrow deserves to be presumed innocent of the crime of lying about the abuse.

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