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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 4:30 am 
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Kal wrote:
On Facebook, I saw a list titled "Rules For Dating My Son".
They are as follows.

1. He is not your ATM
2. If you show up to my house looking like a stripper, I will make you go away.
3. If I see any "sexts" on his phone, I will make you go away.
4. Understand that if I don't like you, I will make you go away.
5. Understand that I can make you go away.
6. He's a "mama's boy". Unless you have a ring on your finger, your opinion of that doesn't matter.
7. You are not in charge of him and it is not up to you to change him. Take him for who he is, or see rule #5.
8. He is a gentleman. I taught him that. You better act like a lady and deserve that.
9. I know how to avoid jail.
10. If you weasel your way past these rules and fake your way to a ring on your finger, I will be something much worse than your boyfriend's mom, I will be your mother in law.

Yeah...
I saw that, too, and manfully (see what I did there?) refrained from commenting. Of course, the "rules for dating my daughter" analogue is equally enlightened and progressive.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 4:34 am 
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Maybe we can indulge in some matchmaking. Those two sound perfect for each other, and given their deep insight into interpersonal relationships, chances seem great that they are both divorced.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 5:24 am 
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lavawitch wrote:
Maybe we can indulge in some matchmaking. Those two sound perfect for each other, and given their deep insight into interpersonal relationships, chances seem great that they are both divorced.
It's a match made in heaven; they can make each other's lives a living hell!

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 8:36 am 
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vijita wrote:
I was in a teleconference at work last week and the guy I was talking to kept on referring to every single person who works in our winery/warehouse as "the boys." 80% of our winery staff are female. I told him that and he was like "haha, maybe the office staff!" I ended the call as soon as I could.


I always get emails sent via the "contact submission" thing on our website that say "Hey boys!" or "are you dudes gonna..."

I always point out that I'm a female and depending on the conversation, I enjoy telling them that our keg line and hand bottling line is all female as well.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 10:04 am 
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I was the lone female who worked on a big project that actually panned out for us, and one of the interoffice emails was a "nice job boys, hard work paid off yada yada!" Appropriate or not: I replied to all and said the ladies represented on this project as well.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 2:17 pm 
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This article about what happens when you report sexual assault at your university in the US, practically brought me to tears since it's so true. I know I expected more from Higher Ed until I reported sexual harassment.

Reporting Rape, and Wishing She Hadn’t
How One College Handled a Sexual Assault Complaint

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 2:28 pm 
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I am also horrified by the fact that Joanie Faircloth — the woman who posted on various websites that Bright Eyes frontman Conor Oberst sexually assaulted her when she was a teenager — is now admitting that she completely fabricated the story in an attempt "to get attention."
http://jezebel.com/conor-obersts-accuse ... 1604797078

I really wish that all the MRA activists out there weren't already yelling "SEE VICTIMS LIE FOR ATTENTION!"

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 3:03 pm 
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fork her. I hope she gets the help she so obviously needs. But fork her.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 3:57 pm 
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One of my friends in college let a guy take nude pictures of her because he promised her they would start dating. He never did date her and then she found out that he put one of the pictures up on the wall in the common room of his college house. When she went to a counselor about it, he told her that she probably shouldn't report it because it would just cause a hassle for her.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 4:04 pm 
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Mr. Shankly wrote:
One of my friends in college let a guy take nude pictures of her because he promised her they would start dating. He never did date her and then she found out that he put one of the pictures up on the wall in the common room of his college house. When she went to a counselor about it, he told her that she probably shouldn't report it because it would just cause a hassle for her.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 4:09 pm 
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LazySmurf wrote:
This article about what happens when you report sexual assault at your university in the US, practically brought me to tears since it's so true. I know I expected more from Higher Ed until I reported sexual harassment.

Reporting Rape, and Wishing She Hadn’t
How One College Handled a Sexual Assault Complaint


I just read this and I am glad there is more conversation about the need for colleges and universities to change the practices that they have around reporting sexual assaults. The current system is obvious awful. Stories like these are horrific. What completely confuses me is why there is little conversation about the student culture that apparently accepts this kind of behavior. How is it acceptable to treat anyone that way, especially when unable to consent? These guys were in public and presumably went on to have normal social lives afterwards. Ick.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 4:39 pm 
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There was an article that went to the social ramifications for rapists that I wish I could find again. I think it was on Pharyngula, but basically it said that because no one wants to take sides, and often the victim retreats a bit to heal, their rapist continues to just go to all the same parties, while the victim withdraws to avoid seeing their attackers. So there are no social ramifications, and the people around the rapist continue to see the person as a good person and tend to pull away from the victim. It was so depressing. We need to support victims more.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 15, 2014 7:31 am 
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This sounds like a ...reasonable attempt by a Senate committee to try to make access to reproductive health care more possible in light of the Hobby Lobby ruling: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/15/opini ... ights.html

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 2:26 am 
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An article about an entire village (slum) of women in India who were raped by one man, repeatedly ridiculed by police, spontaneously acted together to kill him and now face collective charges for murder: http://www.theguardian.com/world/2005/s ... dia.gender

I am floored by how they finally managed to create a safe (ish) space for themselves, and that one high court judge has already spoken out in their favor.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 10:30 am 
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The creator of Cards Against Humanity was accused of sexual assault

If you read any articles about this stay away from the comments sections.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 4:25 pm 
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lutin wrote:
An article about an entire village (slum) of women in India who were raped by one man, repeatedly ridiculed by police, spontaneously acted together to kill him and now face collective charges for murder: http://www.theguardian.com/world/2005/s ... dia.gender


Stories like this are why the life of Phoolan Devi was so incredibly inspiring to me. It also really reminds me of this quote about her on a People's History poster: "...But Phoolan's life, and the injustice she suffered because of her gender and her class, only make us wonder why other low-caste women (for Phoolan's experiences were not in any way unique) did not also become bandits." (emphasis mine)

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 7:56 am 
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"Women Against Feminism." Apparently this is an actual thing. Oy vey.

http://womenagainstfeminism.tumblr.com/

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 7:59 am 
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I've heard of that, but I've never worked up the energy to look at it. I know it'll just peas me off beyond reason.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 8:06 am 
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Hollie wrote:
I've heard of that, but I've never worked up the energy to look at it. I know it'll just peas me off beyond reason.
Yes, you should definitely be prepared to have a rage-induced aneurysm if you change your mind. I'm actually sorry I clicked on it, but even sorrier that it exists, and that there are women so fundamentally dim-witted and/or brainwashed that they think the notion that women are people entails hating men, making themselves "victims," or being forced to "grow out their body hair" (seriously?). I'm honestly feeling kind of depressed. I only found out about it because a friend posted the following link of FB. (Again, maybe get some aspirin before you click. Or a drink. Or both.)

http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-vi ... 3c2so.html

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 8:14 am 
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Desdemona wrote:
"Women Against Feminism." Apparently this is an actual thing. Oy vey.

http://womenagainstfeminism.tumblr.com/

A (former) friend of mine told she hated feminism. When I asked her why, she said that feminists ruined it for everyone because now women are expected to work like men, so men don't treat her like the princess that she is. I didn't even know how to react, I was so boggled.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 8:24 am 
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brian wrote:
Desdemona wrote:
"Women Against Feminism." Apparently this is an actual thing. Oy vey.

http://womenagainstfeminism.tumblr.com/

A (former) friend of mine told she hated feminism. When I asked her why, she said that feminists ruined it for everyone because now women are expected to work like men, so men don't treat her like the princess that she is. I didn't even know how to react, I was so boggled.
That is, like, so true! I sometimes have to - you won't even believe this - open doors for myself, which entails making a physical effort (with the attendant potential for oh-so-unfeminine perspiration), and puts me at risk for chipped nail polish, both of which could negatively impact my attractiveness to men who might allow me to serve them in exchange for keeping me in a manner befitting the princess I am. And all this suffering is the fault of those nasty, loud, hairy, angry, man-hating feminists!

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 4:15 pm 
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Seven Studies that Prove Mansplaining Exists

I had my own mansplaining experience this weekend. There was a large group of us having a pretty intense conversation and one guy just kept interrupting all of the women who were speaking but rarely interrupted men who were speaking. I had to say multiple times "let me finish" and "I'm not done speaking yet" and noticed other women having to say the same things.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 4:58 pm 
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Nebraskalaska wrote:
Seven Studies that Prove Mansplaining Exists

I had my own mansplaining experience this weekend. There was a large group of us having a pretty intense conversation and one guy just kept interrupting all of the women who were speaking but rarely interrupted men who were speaking. I had to say multiple times "let me finish" and "I'm not done speaking yet" and noticed other women having to say the same things.


Oh my gosh, nothing attracts mansplainers like a group of women having a respectful, engaging, intelligent discussion.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 8:49 pm 
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Desdemona wrote:
brian wrote:
Desdemona wrote:
"Women Against Feminism." Apparently this is an actual thing. Oy vey.

http://womenagainstfeminism.tumblr.com/

A (former) friend of mine told she hated feminism. When I asked her why, she said that feminists ruined it for everyone because now women are expected to work like men, so men don't treat her like the princess that she is. I didn't even know how to react, I was so boggled.
That is, like, so true! I sometimes have to - you won't even believe this - open doors for myself, which entails making a physical effort (with the attendant potential for oh-so-unfeminine perspiration), and puts me at risk for chipped nail polish, both of which could negatively impact my attractiveness to men who might allow me to serve them in exchange for keeping me in a manner befitting the princess I am. And all this suffering is the fault of those nasty, loud, hairy, angry, man-hating feminists!


There seems to be a weird glorification of the 1950s, or what people thought the 1950s was. Someone I know on facebook said that the 1950s were the best time for women because they could stay home, take care of the house, cook fresh meals, and take care of the children. And men respected them. This was not the case. Women of color were certainly not respected and not all women were able to stay home. Even in TV shows that took place in the 50s, women are seen working as teachers and secretaries. There were so many occupations there were very difficult for women to get into. (Science is a big one)

My mom told me that my grandmothers life pretty much consisted of cleaning the whole house, making dinner (which could take hours) and caring for the kids. When her daughters were old enough, they had to help. My mom's brother was not expected to help with the cleaning and cooking when he was a teenager because his education was too important. My grandfather would be very angry if dinner was not ready or to his satisfaction. My mom also said that this was the case for many of her friend's families. That life sounds like hell. (And it is only an anecdote, so maybe it was just the area where they lived.)

Yet I see some women who believe that things were better for women in the past. Anytime someone asks me what time period from the past that I'd want to live in, I always say now.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 9:25 pm 
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Oh man, this lady I work with today said, I quote "(vijita) loves lesbians. She's all about lesbians and vegetarianism." And everyone in our lunchroom cackled with laughter.

Wow.


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