Post Punk Kitchen Forum

Who challenges feminism in my life?

1) My daughter. Sadly, after her first marriage ended because her husband could never get her to express an opinion on anything, I advised her upon entering her second marriage to be an equal partner in her relationship; reminding her that 100 years of feminists have fought and died to give her the right to be an equal to a man and to be heard within her own relationship. But she thinks I am dead wrong. She thinks that her father must be miserable and suffering because I am so stubborn about being heard and valued. She thinks every disagreement within my marriage is my fault, because I do not just roll over and let her father have his way about everything. Her father, of course, is very old school in his thinking. Things like, he is the man and therefore should have the final word on everything. Even to the extent of making unilateral decisions and expecting me to live with them, even if it violates my ethics. And of course, I don't take that lying down, which causes a ruckus in our relationship. So, to avoid making my "mistakes," she goes as far as she can in the opposite direction. She thinks the first marriage failed because she wasn't submissive enough and is doing everything in her power to be absolutely invisible in this one. *deep sigh*

2) My husband. When we were raising children, and I was having trouble getting them to respect me, he would always say to them, "you respect her because she is my wife." Notice he did not say, "because she is your mother." Nope, he redirected their respect back to himself (as their father) and I was only to be respected by proxy. Thanks. Now, years later, as adults, my children treat me like their father's wife, not their mother. It's as if they have no mother.

It's very, very challenging to teach something entirely foreign to an entire generation of men (and women) about equality. I hope that I have done better with my sons than with my daughter. (Maybe the youngest?)

Horrible, disgusting, misogynistic shiitake like this. In the TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY. I can't even. (WARNING: potentially triggering content viz. rape.)

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-fix/wp/2012/08/19/todd-akin-gop-senate-candidate-legitimate-rape-rarely-causes-pregnancy/?hpid=z2

I saw this on facebook today, and I canNOT get over it.

I'm sticking this in here because it has to do with race involving a female co-owner of a store: http://www.boston.com/businessupdates/2 ... ml?camp=fb



Also, in regards to Akin- has anyone seen his two retorts? He was very clear with what he said, how can he claim to have misspoken? And on top of that, his "oh, I totally understand and I feel for the rape survivors" and then follows it up with a "just to be clear, I still don't think it should be legal for you to have an abortion."

Good forking Lard, ALL RAPE IS FORCIBLE RAPE. http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/08/20/a ... ible-rape/

Thanks for sharing this. I thought "Fast Food Nation" was a real eye-opener in terms of how companies exploit their franchisees if anyone is interested in more information.

Defending himself with 9/11, firefighters, and people who use wheelchairs? Classy.

The entire article makes me ragey. Among many ideas expressed inside:
-Only some rape is forcible
-A non-connection between him and 9/11 responders
-America is unique in that we are the only country that cares about life
-America is a religious country where we all believe in his god

Rape jokes are never funny. http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree ... -funny-now



There are some potentially triggering and upsetting jokes in the article, but it is worth thinking about.

What I think is absolutely fascinating is that these crassholes think that they are being not only funny but edgy.

There is literally nothing funny about "set-up, poorly done misdirect, domestic violence/rape punchline." It's not funny, it's not clever, it's not brave. You are actively promoting the status quo. You, angry young middle class white man (cause you almost always are), are actively, gleefully, promoting the status quo that ensures that 1 in 3 of the women in your life will experience intimate violence in her lifetime. And then, best of all, you have gall to be offended when women don't trust you and don't want to sleep with you. And cry foul when women tell you rape jokes suck, and hurt, and trigger. "It's just a joke! There can't be any sacred cows!" You know who has no sacred cows? People for whom there is no epithet, there is no stereotype that acts as a prison. It's easy to tell people not to be offended when there is literally no word in the English language that targets and attacks you for the simple reality of who you are.

Fork the patriarchy. Fork rape culture. Fork all these crassholes.

Unfortunately, the Sarah Silverman quote in the interview is true:

"Who is going to complain about rape jokes? Rape victims? They barely even report rape."

^ See something like that (Sarah's line) is at least TRYING to do what a joke should do, which is get the audience to actually think deeper or in a different way about what they're laughing at, not just perpetuate awful stereotypes and faux-edginess and try to excuse any offense as in the name of comedy.

In more unbelievable Akin-related news...holy fork Huckabee. I just...wow.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... ds-newsxml

"See? Rape is ok, and we should ALWAYS force victims to have the child born of rape, because rape makes some pretty cool people! A world without rape is a world without Ethel Waters and some other people I think are nifty! Who wants a world without rape??" (Rough paraphrase)

This absolute dumbfuck who I thought was my friend. He began telling me last night that I would change my mind about having children (which I physically cannot do, thanks for paying attention dude!) and that "it would all be worth it" when I was "holding our child" in my arms (?!). Then he was all "I didn't intend to offend you, do you honestly think anything I said was meant to offend?" Same old story, I was "being oversensitive," etc.

I explained multiple times that it is offensive when someone says "I do not want ______" to reply with "You will change your mind, I hope you _______." And to imply that I would ever have sex with him, let alone have a child with him. I assume now that he has this great love story between us set up in his head. What is actually wrong with people?

Whoa, that's creepy!

Seconded. I'm so sorry Drakeredcrest that that happened to you.

As far as Akin goes, in all the apologies I've seen so far seem to completely ignore the obvious falsehood that women who are true victims of rape (as opposed to those who cry rape) can't get pregant. Did I miss his apology where he admitted that wasn't actually true?

I definitely heard him admit in one "apology" that women can, indeed, get pregnant from rape. I keep "apology" in qoutes because his statements address only his specific stupid, unfeeling, totally forking inappropriate remarks, not the fact that at the end of the day he still wants to jam his morals and his bible and his laws up my vag. And people who think I can't be trusted to do with my parts what I will challenge my feminism. Not to mention my humanity. forkers.

Axe. Really? REALLY? I guess I can't be too surprised since it's Axe. http://www.buzzfeed.com/copyranter/new- ... died-boobs

This girl I work with who tanning-booth fries herself until she's orange because her "boyfriend likes it" told me how brave I am for not shaving my legs.

I am just shocked by the fact that so many people, including the defendant, his ex-gf (the victim) and his family seem so shocked that Tony Farmer, a student athlete, was sentenced to 3 years in jail for kidnapping, assault and other charges. It seems to be such a "boys will be boys" kind of response and so many are acting like its a harsh sentence even though the judge is going to be reviewing it in 180 days and may well reduce it.

http://www.cleveland.com/metro/index.ss ... three.html



All you hear is "oh poor guy, he could have made millions in the NBA and now he may never play professional sports!" As opposed to what kind of culture do we have around student athletes that kidnapping someone who doesn't want to get back together with you is considered a "romantic gesture."

That reminds me of the Glen Ridge case from the early nineties or so. Everyone rallying around the "good guys."

I don't know how to post a link from my phone, but you guys should read the HuffPo piece about how Savannah Dietrich "ruined" the life of one if the boys who sexually assaulted her, according to his lawyer . It's infuriating.

Someone posted some link to some thing about the Akin comments on facebook, and then someone posted this terribly offensive rape joke in reply that just stunned me. I didn't even respond to it because I was just so blown back by how horrible it was. And even the original link poster messaged me being like "wow that guy really doesn't get it" but I can't find the words I want to be able to tell him that he's a huge piece of forking shiitake because that's as eloquent as my mind gets when I'm worked up.

Have you read "Of mice and men"?
Because it's basically the same horrible thing.



and there are TONS of such examples...

pffff...

It's a while since I read Of Mice and Men, but I think it is a little more complex than this