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No, but I have a funny story about blood oranges.
Way back in the day, in the before time, in the long-long ago when I was a freshman in college, there was a crazy evangelical preacher in our designated "free speech zone" telling everyone that they will burn for eternity if they were having sex, gay, picking their nose, had a tattoo, breathed the wrong way--you know the type. My college is on the bible belt, so we had a lot of nutters that the student government sponsored because they thought it would stimulate intellectual discussion or some shiitake. It was mostly just annoying... plus the "free speech zone" was maybe a 10 square foot block with white paint signifying the boundaries. It was rhubarbed as fork.
Anyway, so the guy is screaming about how i'm gonna go to hell because I'm obviously an evil person since I had completely blue hair, was wearing fishnets, and wearing a swing dress with cherries on it like a good gothabilly girl. I was 18...
I go back to the dorm after yelling at him and get a blood orange, slice it up a bit, and go back to nutso preacher. I jump into the free speech box, raise my arm with the orange and the squeeze the fork out of it. As the red juice runs down my arm, I yelled, "This is the blood of Christ in the refreshing and juicy form of an orange," followed by me just yelling croissant really loud.
Preacher goes, "You can't say such filth in the eye of the Lard!" to which I replied, "I can say whatever the fork I want because I'm in the free speech box!" Then i went back home.
And yes, I know the concept of a free speech zone at a university is the most ludicrous thing ever.
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danielle [noun]: she who says and posts stupid shiitake on the internet (see also ain't no bitchassness)
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