Post Punk Kitchen Forum

I know that Dan Savage has some privilege issues, but I did really enjoy his response to this lovely hypocrite who is appalled by gay suicide but also opposes gay marriage:

http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2010/10/01/sl-letter-of-the-day-sorry-nothing-fun

Mat.

That was fantastic.

I love Dan Savage. That was an excellent reply.

I know that lots of people have their issues with Dan Savage, but personally I really love reading his stuff. I feel like most of the time I get where he's coming from and agree with at least the heart of what he's saying. Most of the time. And this one was particularly fantastic!

i love him and follow his blog for responses like these. and i think boyfriends and girlfriends (as in anyone in a relationship) would be so much happier if they listened to podcasts with me.

Damn straight. I don't know why I continue to be amazed by the gall of people protesting that their feelings are hurt by the discussion of simple home truths that have contributed to the decision of multiple young people to end their own lives. I mean, talk about lack of perspective: it's okay to be a close-minded, homophobic bigot, we're just not supposed to talk about it. Whenever I hear some "good Christian" spewing this sort of facile hypocrisy, I'm irresistibly reminded of this.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/if-god-had-wanted-me-to-be-accepting-of-gays-he-wo,11500/

"Compassion, tolerance, understanding, basic decency, the ability to put myself in another person's position: God could have endowed me with any of those traits and yet—here is the crucial part—He didn't. Why? Because the Creator of the Universe wants me to demonize homosexuals in an effort to strip them of their fundamental human rights."

(And they say the Onion isn't a "real" newspaper!)

Wow. An accurate translation of what the Christian right is really saying. The sad thing is, I know people who really believe the lies they tell...

i must confess i also am a fan of savage's work even though he is an enormous fataphobe.

That's my only issue with Dan. Otherwise I pretty much always think his advice is spot on.

He also says that bisexual men don't exist. And can be pretty transphobic.

It's hard to love someone who does so much good while simultaneously hurting so many. Pull it the fork together, Savage!

Yeah, I am pretty much with j-dub on this. Check your privilege Savage, you have some great things to say but they shouldn't come at the expense of others.

That said, it has been my experience that the UK gay scene is pretty much trans, bi and fatphobic most of the time.

Mat.

why do you think that is, mat? this could very well be another thread. why do marginalized communities perpetuate some of the same types of behaviors they are trying to dismantle from their oppressors?

Because it feels good to make the rules for a change? Feels good to be on top? Even if it means being a douche.

as well as "please accept me ... at least i'm not as different as these people".

Do you have relatives?

I love Dan Savage, and I'm very often disappointed in myself for loving him, and wish I could stop.

So, at least he got *this* letter, right. I'll go back to admonishing myself in response to next week's column.

I think most of what Dan Savage says is jokes. Sure lots come off mean spirited, but thats how I like mah jokes!

Yeah, I think it is pretty much this and also (sad to say) being a minority is no ticket to non-douchehood. The number of times I have screamed at a gay man for using the N-word is unreal. People really don't make the connection between things they say and things said about them.

I think if you put someone down it makes you (momentarily) feel better about yourself maybe.

Mat.

P.S. The bi-phobia in the gay community has this really odd political dimension where gay men are convinced that bi folk are just not being honest.