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 Post subject: WWPPKD? The Advice Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 8:56 pm 
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Lubes With Earth Balance
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Location: Rochester & Albany, NY
Hubby and I split up about 7 months ago, and we agreed that he would keep the house and Cammie would go with me. I moved out and she has been going to his house during the day while I am at work since his house is only a few minutes from my office.

Anyway, without going into all the boring details - he started a fight with me based on a Facebook message that I sent to someone else - he violated my trust in him (not for the first time) to read my messages. As a result of the fight, he gave me all my stuff that was still at his house, including Cammie's food, bowls, and toys that were there for her.

Now he wants her to come back, and I'm not so sure that I should let her. He was very hurtful and I feel like this would be treating the issue like there are no consequences. On the other hand, the pushover in me wants to be nice and say that she can go back?

So - what should I do? Also, what do you want advice on? WWPPKD?


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 Post subject: Re: WWPPKD? The Advice Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:16 pm 
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Heeeerrrrree's JACKY!
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That is a tough one. Have you talked to him at all about the breach of trust? I wouldn't be willing to just let her go without a big long talk about boundaries.

I just need a new job, no advice.

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 Post subject: Re: WWPPKD? The Advice Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:24 pm 
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Lubes With Earth Balance
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I think that he doesn't respect boundaries and believes he isn't doing anything wrong by looking at my personal emails, texts or whatever. I don't intend to let him back into my life, but am less decided about letting Cammie back into his.

What kind of job do you want?


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 Post subject: Re: WWPPKD? The Advice Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:26 pm 
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Sick of Cupcakes
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Help me to help you better. What species is Cammie? (Are we talking about a companion animal or a human child?)

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 Post subject: Re: WWPPKD? The Advice Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:32 pm 
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Heeeerrrrree's JACKY!
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Is there any way to let her have time with him, without him having access to anything of yours?

I don't know. I am currently an ad director and while I love the work, I no longer have challenges and the environment is killing me. I cried at my desk all day. I would love to work in a book store or a museum.

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 Post subject: Re: WWPPKD? The Advice Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:42 pm 
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Lubes With Earth Balance
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choirqueer wrote:
Help me to help you better. What species is Cammie? (Are we talking about a companion animal or a human child?)

you are adorable! Cammie is my doggie.

Kfad - working in a museum would be sweet! I have a good friend who started volunteering at the MFA in Boston and it turned into her full time job. Maybe it would be a good foot in the door for you too.

P.S. I know what you mean about crying at your desk all day, I've had some days like that lately too.


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 Post subject: Re: WWPPKD? The Advice Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:46 pm 
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Not a creepy cheese pocket person
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Where would Cammie go if she didn't go to the house? Is that a better environment for her? Is your husband actually attached to the dog or is this just a way to have contact with you?


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 Post subject: Re: WWPPKD? The Advice Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:58 pm 
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Lubes With Earth Balance
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My brother comes to let her out after he gets out of work (at 2:30) on my short days at work - which get me home at about 7, and on my long days at work he takes her back to his house and I get her on my way home (at 8:30 or 9:00). I know it sucks and wish I could be with her more.

Either way, she isn't alone the entire time I am at work. I know that I trust my brother and sister in law much more than I trust the ex... I think he really does love her and wouldn't try to hurt her.


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 Post subject: Re: WWPPKD? The Advice Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:16 pm 
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Saggy Butt
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Do you mean he reads your facebook updates or something? I think if your ex wants to hang out with the dog you might as well let him, I mean if he likes your dog, and she'd be less bored during the day, why not?


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 Post subject: Re: WWPPKD? The Advice Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:23 pm 
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Lubes With Earth Balance
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No, he read a personal message I sent privately to someone else. He basically broke into my account. He has done the same thing in the past with texts and email...


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