You all are forgetting about the gigantic earthquakes. It's not going to be a bunch of people rapturing up into the sky. Things are going to be rough around here.
What's going to happen here?! How should I prepare?!
Become a devout Christian, I guess?
_________________ Did somebody say Keep on rockin?
No, no, I don't want to be saved. I just want to protect myself from the earthquakes and whatnot.
Survey your devout neighbors. See who has the best, most earthquake-proof house (bonus points if they also have a pool, fully stocked bar, hot tub, and TV in the bedroom). At some point on Saturday, move your things into their house. Laugh while the rest of us sinners suffer the Apocalypse in our plebian dwellings.
Important: Make sure they are gone before you move in.
_________________ Empathy, he once had decided, must be limited to herbivores or anyhow omnivores who could depart from a meat diet. --Philip K. Dick
Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
Posted: Thu May 19, 2011 12:38 pm
Saggy Butt
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:47 pm Posts: 291 Location: Arkham, MA
The article that FootFace posted wrote:
If you hit the lottery, if you win 100 million dollars, that’s the ultimate good day, right?” asks McCann. “This will be a billion times better than that for the believer.”
So then Jesus is going to give the believers 100 million billion* dollars? Won't that, I dunno, kind of mess up the economy?
PEOPLE! The animals will not be dying and we sinners will not be in hell! We will be taking care of the animals after the chosen ones have floated off into the sky! http://aftertherapturepetcare.com/
_________________ "Noooo! Karyn, you have to stop posting old Jensen pics. He looks way too smooth in those pics, like if I touch his face it'll feel like silk or bosoms or something."-mixmaster_mo It's Raining Kale
PEOPLE! The animals will not be dying and we sinners will not be in hell! We will be taking care of the animals after the chosen ones have floated off into the sky! http://aftertherapturepetcare.com/
Someone showed me that last night but sadly my state isn't on it.
_________________ "...anarchists only want to burn cars and punch cops."- nickvicious "We'll be eating our own words 30 years from now when we're demanding our legislators outlaw aerosol-based cyber dildo-wielding death holograms."- Brian
Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 11:02 am
Chip Strong
Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 1:10 pm Posts: 965 Location: East Tennessee!
Okay, I'm starting to get confused.
Without looking anything up, I seem to remember that the Rapture comes first, THEN the Apocalypse. Like, seven years later.
Supposed to go like this*: 1. Rapture (technically only supposed to be around 120,000 that get raptured, so...) 2. seven years of peace brought on by the antichrist (John ate some flavor-changing scrolls and deduced this, naturally) 3. trumpets, horsemen, flying bugs with horns and stingers and stuff, blah blah blah 4. seven years of hell on earth 5. Jesus locks Satan in the basement 6. The End.
* I'm pretty sure about 1,2, and 4, but may be off on the rest.
_________________ Animals are my friends--and I don't eat my friends. ~ George Bernard Shaw
This whole thing really troubles me. My first reaction is to point and laugh. How can people be so stupid? How can people be so gullible?
But my second response is despair. How can people be so stupid? How can people be so gullible?
This slideshow—especially the part about the couple who believes their children will not be rapturing with them—is infuriating and utterly bewildering.
Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 12:42 pm
Dying from Nooch Lung
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:01 am Posts: 3371 Location: Chandler, AZ
FootFace wrote:
This whole thing really troubles me. My first reaction is to point and laugh. How can people be so stupid? How can people be so gullible?
But my second response is despair. How can people be so stupid? How can people be so gullible?
This slideshow—especially the part about the couple who believes their children will not be rapturing with them—is infuriating and utterly bewildering.
Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 2:08 pm
Should Write a Goddam Book Already
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:36 pm Posts: 1048
crowderpea wrote:
2. seven years of peace brought on by the antichrist (John ate some flavor-changing scrolls and deduced this, naturally)
That's excellent news. I'm sure to get into vet school by then!
_________________ "I will rip out your IV and other roman numerals." - pandacookie "The one thing I would not do for Aubrey Plaza is harm a baby, by the way." - strawberryrock
All of this hype just makes me think of the Millerites (currently Seventh-Day Adventists) back in 1844 (called "The Great Disappointment").
To that end, "A History of the End of the World" was a pretty interesting read about Revelation and the how various groups of End-Timers have interpreted it, reinterpreted it, assigned various dates that have come and gone, etc...
_________________ facebook "The PPK: Come for the pie; stay for the croissants." - tinglepants! "Cockblocked by Richard Branson- again!" - Erika Soyf*cker
As much as I laugh at these people who believe this stuff, it's pretty forking scary that they do.
_________________ "...anarchists only want to burn cars and punch cops."- nickvicious "We'll be eating our own words 30 years from now when we're demanding our legislators outlaw aerosol-based cyber dildo-wielding death holograms."- Brian
Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 5:58 pm
Making Threats to Punks Again
Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2011 2:59 pm Posts: 1099 Location: heartadixie
Mr. Shankly wrote:
Yeah, this is not funny.
As much as I laugh at these people who believe this stuff, it's pretty forking scary that they do.
That is forking sickening.
_________________ My last Craigslist ad "Bangable Panda for You" got only a few responses and they all just said 'send pic' or 'black and white or red?' - pandacookie I don't want anyone here who doesn't know every forking line to Willy Wonka. - Fee
I'm scared for all the shiitake that's going to happen tomorrow - not from rapture crepe, but by the crazy people who will decide to do terrible things on this day. I'm going to be in NYC and I'm actually scared that I'm going to be in danger. ughhh.
Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 10:06 pm
Chip Strong
Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 1:10 pm Posts: 965 Location: East Tennessee!
Yeah, there is a really dark side to the whole situation. While I can joke about the looming apocalypse, I don't want to joke about those who have bought into it. This post (http://www.patheos.com/community/slackt ... d-camping/) expresses very well some of the sadder aspects of the situation.
_________________ Animals are my friends--and I don't eat my friends. ~ George Bernard Shaw
Just to bring the humor back to the thread a little bit so that it's not all super sad (although, I will be reading all of that stuff):
_________________ "...anarchists only want to burn cars and punch cops."- nickvicious "We'll be eating our own words 30 years from now when we're demanding our legislators outlaw aerosol-based cyber dildo-wielding death holograms."- Brian
_________________ facebook "The PPK: Come for the pie; stay for the croissants." - tinglepants! "Cockblocked by Richard Branson- again!" - Erika Soyf*cker
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