| Register  | FAQ  | Search | Login 
It is currently Sun Sep 21, 2014 5:26 pm

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 164 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2011 9:53 pm 
Offline
Grandfathered In
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:41 pm
Posts: 9583
Location: Seattle
joyfulgirl wrote:
FootFace wrote:
You all are forgetting about the gigantic earthquakes. It's not going to be a bunch of people rapturing up into the sky. Things are going to be rough around here.

What's going to happen here?! How should I prepare?!


Become a devout Christian, I guess?

_________________
Did somebody say Keep on rockin?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 10:10 am 
Offline
Keepin' It Seal
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:32 pm
Posts: 3796
Location: PORTLAND!
No, no, I don't want to be saved. I just want to protect myself from the earthquakes and whatnot.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 10:14 am 
Offline
Making Threats to Punks Again
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:48 pm
Posts: 1137
Location: Arizona
joyfulgirl wrote:
No, no, I don't want to be saved. I just want to protect myself from the earthquakes and whatnot.


Survey your devout neighbors. See who has the best, most earthquake-proof house (bonus points if they also have a pool, fully stocked bar, hot tub, and TV in the bedroom). At some point on Saturday, move your things into their house. Laugh while the rest of us sinners suffer the Apocalypse in our plebian dwellings.

Important: Make sure they are gone before you move in.

_________________
Empathy, he once had decided, must be limited to herbivores or anyhow omnivores who could depart from a meat diet.
--Philip K. Dick


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 10:56 am 
Offline
Dying from Nooch Lung
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:01 am
Posts: 3382
Location: Chandler, AZ
Is anyone else going to be doing some post-rapture looting?

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=121968371215699

_________________
Half the lies I tell are not true.
"luckily us vegans dont go into cardiac arrest...but we do go into food comas" - Adam Crisis


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 12:38 pm 
Offline
Saggy Butt
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:47 pm
Posts: 291
Location: Arkham, MA
The article that FootFace posted wrote:
If you hit the lottery, if you win 100 million dollars, that’s the ultimate good day, right?” asks McCann. “This will be a billion times better than that for the believer.”


So then Jesus is going to give the believers 100 million billion* dollars? Won't that, I dunno, kind of mess up the economy?

Way to fail economics forever, Jesus.

*I may also not be too good at math...

_________________
My Facebook | My (infrequently updated) Twitter


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 12:54 pm 
Offline
Countess Vagina
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:54 pm
Posts: 191
Location: Denver, CO
Someone I went to elementary school with posted this picture on Facebook with the text, "It's coming! I can't wait!!!"

Image

I sort of want to make him a shirt that says "I waited to be raptured and all I got was this lousy t-shirt."

_________________
Lacy


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 1:21 pm 
Offline
Has it on Blue Vinyl
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:10 pm
Posts: 2129
Location: milwaukee
ha! please do it.

_________________
i'm not around much, but that doesn't mean i don't love you.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 2:01 pm 
Offline
The Real Hamburger Helper
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 10:01 pm
Posts: 2213
Location: Maryland
Mr. Shankly wrote:
PEOPLE! The animals will not be dying and we sinners will not be in hell! We will be taking care of the animals after the chosen ones have floated off into the sky! http://aftertherapturepetcare.com/

There's also http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/, although it's limited by state.

_________________
"Noooo! Karyn, you have to stop posting old Jensen pics. He looks way too smooth in those pics, like if I touch his face it'll feel like silk or bosoms or something."-mixmaster_mo
It's Raining Kale


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 2:34 pm 
Offline
WELFARIST!
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2010 8:03 pm
Posts: 5229
Location: Gallifrey
nickvicious wrote:
Is anyone else going to be doing some post-rapture looting?

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=121968371215699

I am!!!
designedtobekind wrote:
Mr. Shankly wrote:
PEOPLE! The animals will not be dying and we sinners will not be in hell! We will be taking care of the animals after the chosen ones have floated off into the sky! http://aftertherapturepetcare.com/

There's also http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/, although it's limited by state.

Someone showed me that last night but sadly my state isn't on it.

_________________
"...anarchists only want to burn cars and punch cops."- nickvicious
"We'll be eating our own words 30 years from now when we're demanding our legislators outlaw aerosol-based cyber dildo-wielding death holograms."- Brian


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 11:02 am 
Offline
Should Write a Goddam Book Already
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 1:10 pm
Posts: 1019
Location: East Tennessee!
Okay, I'm starting to get confused.

Without looking anything up, I seem to remember that the Rapture comes first, THEN the Apocalypse. Like, seven years later.

Supposed to go like this*:
1. Rapture (technically only supposed to be around 120,000 that get raptured, so...)
2. seven years of peace brought on by the antichrist (John ate some flavor-changing scrolls and deduced this, naturally)
3. trumpets, horsemen, flying bugs with horns and stingers and stuff, blah blah blah
4. seven years of hell on earth
5. Jesus locks Satan in the basement
6. The End.

* I'm pretty sure about 1,2, and 4, but may be off on the rest.

_________________
Animals are my friends--and I don't eat my friends.
~ George Bernard Shaw


"God said, kill and eat!" ~ my grandmother


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 11:44 am 
Offline
Plays The Sims 2 religiously
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:20 pm
Posts: 7405
Location: Portland, OR
I'm excited too, but only because of all the hilarious news articles posted after the fact.

_________________
i would schmear marmite on a moist scrotum for Mars. - interrobang?!
"Not everything." ~ mumbles (1973-2013) - mumbles


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 12:03 pm 
Offline
Grandfathered In
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:41 pm
Posts: 9583
Location: Seattle
This whole thing really troubles me. My first reaction is to point and laugh. How can people be so stupid? How can people be so gullible?

But my second response is despair. How can people be so stupid? How can people be so gullible?

This slideshow—especially the part about the couple who believes their children will not be rapturing with them—is infuriating and utterly bewildering.

(Here's more on that family.)

_________________
Did somebody say Keep on rockin?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 12:42 pm 
Offline
Dying from Nooch Lung
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:01 am
Posts: 3382
Location: Chandler, AZ
FootFace wrote:
This whole thing really troubles me. My first reaction is to point and laugh. How can people be so stupid? How can people be so gullible?

But my second response is despair. How can people be so stupid? How can people be so gullible?

This slideshow—especially the part about the couple who believes their children will not be rapturing with them—is infuriating and utterly bewildering.

(Here's more on that family.)

That woman quit her job? What a moron. I feel bad for those kids.

_________________
Half the lies I tell are not true.
"luckily us vegans dont go into cardiac arrest...but we do go into food comas" - Adam Crisis


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 12:58 pm 
Offline
Grandfathered In
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:41 pm
Posts: 9583
Location: Seattle
She quit her job! Years ago, they stopped saving for their kids' college.

How must those kids feel? What happens to that family on May 22?

_________________
Did somebody say Keep on rockin?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 2:00 pm 
Offline
Thinks Plants Have Feelings
User avatar

Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2011 12:24 pm
Posts: 65
Location: Wichita, KS
All of this hype just makes me think of the Millerites (currently Seventh-Day Adventists) back in 1844 (called "The Great Disappointment").

_________________
My bloggie!: http://yourmomsavegan.blogspot.com/


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 2:08 pm 
Offline
Making Threats to Punks Again
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:36 pm
Posts: 1126
crowderpea wrote:
2. seven years of peace brought on by the antichrist (John ate some flavor-changing scrolls and deduced this, naturally)


That's excellent news. I'm sure to get into vet school by then!

_________________
"I will rip out your IV and other roman numerals." - pandacookie
"The one thing I would not do for Aubrey Plaza is harm a baby, by the way." - strawberryrock


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 2:16 pm 
Offline
Dead by dawn
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:54 pm
Posts: 7874
Location: Seattle
SuprgrrlJes wrote:
All of this hype just makes me think of the Millerites (currently Seventh-Day Adventists) back in 1844 (called "The Great Disappointment").

To that end, "A History of the End of the World" was a pretty interesting read about Revelation and the how various groups of End-Timers have interpreted it, reinterpreted it, assigned various dates that have come and gone, etc...

_________________
facebook
"The PPK: Come for the pie; stay for the croissants." - tinglepants!
"Cockblocked by Richard Branson- again!" - Erika Soyf*cker


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 5:05 pm 
Offline
WELFARIST!
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2010 8:03 pm
Posts: 5229
Location: Gallifrey
Yeah, this is not funny.

As much as I laugh at these people who believe this stuff, it's pretty forking scary that they do.

_________________
"...anarchists only want to burn cars and punch cops."- nickvicious
"We'll be eating our own words 30 years from now when we're demanding our legislators outlaw aerosol-based cyber dildo-wielding death holograms."- Brian


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 5:58 pm 
Offline
Making Threats to Punks Again
User avatar

Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2011 2:59 pm
Posts: 1099
Location: heartadixie
Mr. Shankly wrote:
Yeah, this is not funny.

As much as I laugh at these people who believe this stuff, it's pretty forking scary that they do.

That is forking sickening.

_________________
My last Craigslist ad "Bangable Panda for You" got only a few responses and they all just said 'send pic' or 'black and white or red?' - pandacookie
I don't want anyone here who doesn't know every forking line to Willy Wonka. - Fee


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 8:52 pm 
Offline
Hip Goiter
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:07 pm
Posts: 8202
Location: Philly/London
I'm scared for all the shiitake that's going to happen tomorrow - not from rapture crepe, but by the crazy people who will decide to do terrible things on this day. I'm going to be in NYC and I'm actually scared that I'm going to be in danger. ughhh.

_________________
@randibop for le tweets & le pics

Laughfrodisiac


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 10:05 pm 
Offline
Bought 20lbs of vegan protein powder
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:37 pm
Posts: 7071
Location: Fort Drum NY
Hmm. I wonder if we should stay home. I mean, there are likely crazies around here.

_________________
"T-shirts are not allowed in heaven, Karyn. They don't do casual Fridays." - Amandabear

"It's because I'm judging them. Harshly. Judgey McJudgerson." - mel c


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 10:06 pm 
Offline
Should Write a Goddam Book Already
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 1:10 pm
Posts: 1019
Location: East Tennessee!
Yeah, there is a really dark side to the whole situation. While I can joke about the looming apocalypse, I don't want to joke about those who have bought into it. This post (http://www.patheos.com/community/slackt ... d-camping/) expresses very well some of the sadder aspects of the situation.

_________________
Animals are my friends--and I don't eat my friends.
~ George Bernard Shaw


"God said, kill and eat!" ~ my grandmother


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 10:42 pm 
Offline
WELFARIST!
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2010 8:03 pm
Posts: 5229
Location: Gallifrey
Just to bring the humor back to the thread a little bit so that it's not all super sad (although, I will be reading all of that stuff):

Image

_________________
"...anarchists only want to burn cars and punch cops."- nickvicious
"We'll be eating our own words 30 years from now when we're demanding our legislators outlaw aerosol-based cyber dildo-wielding death holograms."- Brian


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 11:48 pm 
Offline
Keepin' It Seal
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:32 pm
Posts: 3796
Location: PORTLAND!
Will you be raptured?
http://www.geekologie.com/2011/05/20/will-you-be-raptured-full.jpg


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 9:41 am 
Offline
Dead by dawn
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:54 pm
Posts: 7874
Location: Seattle
joyfulgirl wrote:

Goddammit, I will be left behind for blashpemy!

_________________
facebook
"The PPK: Come for the pie; stay for the croissants." - tinglepants!
"Cockblocked by Richard Branson- again!" - Erika Soyf*cker


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 164 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: joshua, lepelaar and 7 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Template made by DEVPPL/ThatBigForum and fancied up by What Cheer