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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 9:50 am 
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Semen Strong
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From http://goatsonstuff.com/: Its rough out there for a goat....

Image

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But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 9:57 am 
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monkeytoes wrote:
joyfulgirl wrote:

Goddammit, I will be left behind for blashpemy!


me too!

tofulish - livi doesn't like that picture.

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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 10:07 am 
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Making Threats to Punks Again
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I think PETA is jealous of the attention this is getting.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/21/us/21 ... tml?ref=us

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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 10:10 am 
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Semen Strong
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Am I a bad person that when I read this:
Quote:
“My concern is for the people that have bought into his lie and have sold their belongings, quit their jobs, left their churches and their families and now they are sitting at home listening to Family Radio and waiting for the end,” Mr. Nederhood said. “I’m terribly concerned.”


I thought:

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But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 11:01 am 
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No, Tofulish, you aren't. It's been done again and again. Apparently some sections of the Protestant community believe that they are specially ordained to look at numbers in the Bible and predict "The End," and never seem to learn that they ought to just wait for it. Other Christians come out to say that Jesus said no one can possibly know or that the Bible dictates that you continue to behave normally until you're zapped up to heaven, but to no avail.

Meanwhile, the rest of us cringe as we hear stories of people using up all their savings when they have a newborn due soon (NPR). But you know what? If they screw up their finances, then that's their irrationality. I feel bad for their non-apocalyptic relatives, but I'm also simultaneously bemused/amused at the power of belief in humans.

Here's where I'm the mean one: I hope the disappointment makes them lose their faith.

While we wait for the Four Horsemen, ponder this: After the Rapture, Who Will Walk Your Dog?

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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 12:23 pm 
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The last line of that NPR story cracked me up!

Here are some judgement day tips:

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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 2:26 pm 
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I like Wonderella's take: http://nonadventures.com/2011/05/21/evading-rapture/


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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 2:42 pm 
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Has anyone seen any people floating up to the sky yet? I had a little bit of a false alarm earlier, when I looked across the street and saw that Guy-who-never-leaves-his-stoop was not on his stoop! But apparently he just went inside to get a radio, and is back out there now, staring blankly at me like usual. It's only 3:30 here, though, so there's still time.

There seem to be very few people on the forums, so I'm just going to assume most of you are now having tea and crumpets with Jesus, in which case I have a few questions. 1.) How does Jesus take his tea? 2.) Are there armadillos in heaven? 3.) Is there any way we can put off the earthquakes and famines until after next weekend? I'm going on vacation then. Thanks!


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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 2:50 pm 
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1.) He takes regular, room-temp water and turns it into hot tea
2.) yes, and they are 30 feet long
3.) no

BTW, the password for the wi-fi in heaven is "goodshepherd12"

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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 3:33 pm 
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crowderpea wrote:
BTW, the password for the wi-fi in heaven is "goodshepherd12"


good to know! or useless, depending, i guess.

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"It's because I'm judging them. Harshly. Judgey McJudgerson." - mel c


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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 3:43 pm 
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crowderpea wrote:
BTW, the password for the wi-fi in heaven is "goodshepherd12"

I heard it's been changed to "lucifergetyourownwifi".


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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 3:49 pm 
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How God is Managing the 2011 Rapture according to The Oatmeal

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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 4:13 pm 
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Oh, PPK! I do so love your snark!

Also: "Some Grey Bloke" is my new favorite shiitake!

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"Mine broad, crisp steak fry will smite thine meager potatoes like an axe splitting a log. For ketchup and empire!" --nickvicious
"I'm sick to death of the world not ending." --Pi_Face


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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 5:53 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 6:03 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 7:16 am 
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am i a bad person because i woke up and said "fork i better get online to see what the crazy people did when the rapture didn't show up in their neighborhood?" (i was drinking wine in a polish cafe last night at 1800, and the Thumper types had a March For Jesus in our city yesterday, but apparently they didn't get the memo about the rapture.)
NYT has nary a mention of disappointed rapturees drinking koolaid and i can't bring myself to check other news outlets (not even sure which one to check? the NY Post?) so hopefully nothing horrible was done to/by said people and their families.

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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 7:57 am 
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On my way home, I saw a car deserted on the side of the road. I'm pretty sure the owner was raptured.

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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 8:02 am 
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Semen Strong
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I wonder what the people who got raptured are having for breakfast. I'm thinking vegan almond croissants and pain au chocolat with cafe au almond lait... Mmmmm, rapturific.

So much better than my granola. But at least I have my dog.

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But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 8:12 am 
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I almost never pay attention to twitter, but I enjoyed this one

Brian Cox wrote:
I think we should all pretend the #rapture is happening so that when Harold Camping gets left behind later today he'll be livid


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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 10:35 am 
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Chipmunk wrote:
I almost never pay attention to twitter, but I enjoyed this one

Brian Cox wrote:
I think we should all pretend the #rapture is happening so that when Harold Camping gets left behind later today he'll be livid


Brian Cox <333


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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 6:27 pm 
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Is that Brian Cox the Scottish actor or the physicist?

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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 6:29 pm 
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Semen Strong
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RandiJM wrote:
Is that Brian Cox the Scottish actor or the physicist?


Or Brian Cox the porn star?

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But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 6:49 pm 
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Now that there's no rapture anticipation, I'm kinda bored. I didn't even enjoy my food today! I think Jesus raptured away my taste buds--they were probably the only good thing about me.

Chipmunk wrote:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LXuNpF6NVg
Whoa. Again, the power of belief in humans.

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"Mine broad, crisp steak fry will smite thine meager potatoes like an axe splitting a log. For ketchup and empire!" --nickvicious
"I'm sick to death of the world not ending." --Pi_Face


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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 1:24 pm 
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Smurfette is advertising designer brands

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 Post subject: Re: Signs of the Impending Apocalypse
PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 4:20 pm 
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The end is fast approaching:
Jersey Shore Love Dolls

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I don't want anyone here who doesn't know every forking line to Willy Wonka. - Fee


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