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 Post subject: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:37 am 
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Heeeerrrrree's JACKY!
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Cause I could use some nice, neutral responses to when she starts the comments about how the Mexicans are ruining something, and all those Muslims.

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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:38 am 
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Dr Bronners, MD
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I'm guessing a face punch wouldn't be appropriate in this situation. Too bad.

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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:40 am 
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Nice responses? shiitake. That's tough. I'll have to think about it.


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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:40 am 
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amandabear wrote:
I'm guessing a face punch wouldn't be appropriate in this situation. Too bad.


Sometimes, it is like you are in my head.
The weird thing is that it seems like she saves it up for me.

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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:43 am 
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"That's not appropriate".
"The media talk a load of shiitake and people believe it".

I've had to tell my mum off a lot recently for comments she's been making, she doesn't even mean them but it's too sucky to listen to.


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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:44 am 
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Something along the lines of, I'm really not comfortable with this line of conversation, or I need for you to not make comments like this around me/in our workspace. I generally go for shut it down, rather than engage/argue.


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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:46 am 
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kfad wrote:
amandabear wrote:
I'm guessing a face punch wouldn't be appropriate in this situation. Too bad.

Sometimes, it is like you are in my head.

I am no good with subtlety. Violence is usually the answer.

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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:50 am 
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I have the same problem with a co-worker who doesn't like 'Moos-lims' and says they are all the same and can't believe anyone would vote for a Muslim Mayor (we just had a city election). My jaw dropped and I didn't have enough time to think of a response before she got off the elevator.

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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:52 am 
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Shut them down. Like fezza said, "That's not appropriate" should be enough.

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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:55 am 
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There's also "I'm not going to be a part of this conversation," followed by leaving.


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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:57 am 
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amandabear wrote:
I am no good with subtlety. Violence is usually the answer.
Ah, that speaks to me - can I sig it?

I also go for the shut down - "I don't share you views but I don't want to discuss it" - if it's people I don't really care for or want to engage with. On the other hand, I've ended up just leaving the room from conversations with my aunt and uncle - they don't really understand that their comments are racist, and they just get super-defensive if I try and point out what I'm uncomfortable with about what they're saying.

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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:58 am 
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I will try " won't be a part of this conversation." I have tried "That is inappropriate" but it seems like those words are fighting words to her.
This whole thing is pretty toxic for me. Working on a better solution.

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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:01 am 
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Ruby Rose wrote:
amandabear wrote:
I am no good with subtlety. Violence is usually the answer.
Ah, that speaks to me - can I sig it?

Sure!

Seriously though, "I won't be part of this conversation" is probably the best option. Chances are you're not going to change her mind trying to fight with her about it, you'll just cause yourself more stress.

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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:08 am 
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Ruby Rose wrote:
amandabear wrote:
I am no good with subtlety. Violence is usually the answer.
Ah, that speaks to me - can I sig it?

I also go for the shut down - "I don't share you views but I don't want to discuss it" - if it's people I don't really care for or want to engage with. On the other hand, I've ended up just leaving the room from conversations with my aunt and uncle - they don't really understand that their comments are racist, and they just get super-defensive if I try and point out what I'm uncomfortable with about what they're saying.


That's my mum, she only makes comment on race or sexuality if it's someone she doesn't like. I tell her it doesn't matter what colour their skin is or who they sleep with/love, they're just dislikeable because they're a dick. I remind her that I have friends from different races and gay friends so she can't say those things to me and shouldn't be saying them at all. It is so forking awkward when it's an older member of the family, it's very much a generational think in the UK & Ireland because "in their day" everyone was white & straight *sighs*.

It makes me cringe because anyone else would think my mum hates [insert whoever she's commenting on] but she's just being bisque-y and ignorant about how offensive these things are. She raised six kids in Northern Ireland thought the 60s/70s/80s and always taught us acceptance. I hate to hear her say things she would have smacked our legs for saying about someone from a different religion. She does have the good grace to get embarrassed when I make her stop and think about what she's saying.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this at work kfad, you probably have to be even more careful of what way you say things in case it gets twisted back on you (which is what bigots & racists like to do).


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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:10 am 
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You can approach your boss and or HR for this. I think it may even constitute a hostile workplace if it continues. If you dont feel it warrants that, keep repeating that you find the remarks inappropriate and leave the conversation.


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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:13 am 
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kfad wrote:
I will try " won't be a part of this conversation." I have tried "That is inappropriate" but it seems like those words are fighting words to her.
This whole thing is pretty toxic for me. Working on a better solution.


I can see how "That is not appropriate" would trigger anger in some people. I was going to +1 it, but now I see how it can come off as aggressive.

Maybe ignore her when they say those things. Even walk away without a word. Thats a pretty strong statement.


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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:26 am 
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something bland and light-hearted along the lines of "isn't it wonderful how our country is full of such diversity?" or "weren't we all immigrants at some point?"

honestly, the thing that works for me is getting my views out first. this works whether i'm with parents that are into spanking and sleep training, hard-core meat-eaters, conservatives, etc. just make a statement announcing your particular leanings as soon as possible so the other person is now in the position of having to contradict you, instead of the other way around. this doesn't work with people who are totally clueless... but what does? so start off a conversation with her about this news story you read about how poorly mexican farmer workers are treated, and isn't it terrible? or how your neighbour invited you to visit his mosque, and how interested you are to learn about a different religion... then the ball is in her court, and she will realize you are a crazy liberal elite and avoid talking to you.

if you don't want to go there, then just ignore. like walk away, don't respond at all.


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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:57 am 
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littlebird wrote:
something bland and light-hearted along the lines of "isn't it wonderful how our country is full of such diversity?" or "weren't we all immigrants at some point?"


This. Sarcasm is usually the best approach, too.

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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 12:00 pm 
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rocklobster wrote:
You can approach your boss and or HR for this. I think it may even constitute a hostile workplace if it continues. If you dont feel it warrants that, keep repeating that you find the remarks inappropriate and leave the conversation.

I agree. I wouldn't respond, it will only fuel her fire by the sounds of it. That is so unfortunate and if it is making you uncomfortable please do report it to the higher ups. I hope everything works out for you. Sending love and positive vibes your way. (((HUGS)))

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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 12:12 pm 
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graffitipassion wrote:
kfad wrote:
I will try " won't be a part of this conversation." I have tried "That is inappropriate" but it seems like those words are fighting words to her.
This whole thing is pretty toxic for me. Working on a better solution.


I can see how "That is not appropriate" would trigger anger in some people. I was going to +1 it, but now I see how it can come off as aggressive.

Maybe ignore her when they say those things. Even walk away without a word. Thats a pretty strong statement.

"That is not appropriate" works really well for people who don't want to say inappropriate things and were speaking thoughtlessly. It's less successful if the person doesn't give a fork about appropriate.


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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 12:14 pm 
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If you go with something along the lines of "that's not appropriate" you will probably catch the off guard and hopefully shock them into silence.

Oh, I just saw that that doesn't work. In that case, "I don't want to take part in a conversation like this" or "Weren't we all immigrants at some point" sound like good options, but if she keeps on, going to HR is a good step. Racism does nothing for a positive work environment.

Lots of luck.


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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 1:09 pm 
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I am in a similar quandary, but the offending individual is my employer so I just keep my mouth closed.

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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 1:12 pm 
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Kate wrote:
I am in a similar quandary, but the offending individual is my employer so I just keep my mouth closed.


It is sort of like that here. There is no HR dept. I don't really have anyone to go to.

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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 1:13 pm 
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Kate wrote:
I am in a similar quandary, but the offending individual is my employer so I just keep my mouth closed.

yes, i once had a boss that said, "why don't those indians (meaning native americans) just get jobs?"

this is from a woman who runs a nonprofit that is supposed to help disadvantaged teens.


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 Post subject: Re: Do you have responses for a racist coworker?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 1:16 pm 
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