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 Post subject: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:41 pm 
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ol' garly cooch
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Day one. I'm not in as much pain as I expected, just sad. Fini will NOT drink her milk from a sippy. I tried soy, coconut, sweetening the milk with a touch of agave--nothing. She'll drink water/juice from a sippy, just not the milk. Any suggestions to calm Mr. J's "What to do about vitamins/fats?" fear? I've given her a multivitamin and she looooves broccoli.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 11:02 pm 
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hugs, jewie! i am feeling you. I sometimes want to just stop cold turkey lately. I haven't gotten there yet, but i think its coming soon. In the meantime, a couple of days without milk wont hurt her- in the end it will all even out.


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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 11:31 pm 
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Sneak fats into other foods she's eating? Like extra olive oil here and there, avocado and whatnot, here kid eat some nut butter? No reason her fats need to come from milks, and if she's taking a multivitamin, she's probably covered there too.

Hang in there jewy. She'll be okay.

I thought the Emperor was self weaning... He went 48 hrs without nursing a couple of times and was down to once a day for weeks on end... And then bam, all of a sudden he's asking to nurse constantly. I am trying to take it in stride but ask me again in a few weeks, I might be in this thread.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:53 am 
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Would she drink a smoothie, with increasing amounts of nondairy milk? Or maybe that strawberry coconut kefir stuff from so delicious?


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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 11:08 am 
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ol' garly cooch
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She loves avocados and PB, so I'll give her fats that way. She's only cued once for the breast, so that part is bothering me more than her.

What do you do when the weaned child wakes up in the middle of the night? Do any of you pat back to sleep?

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 2:09 pm 
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The Emperor isn't nursing at night anymore... His choice, but on the rare occasions he does wake up now, the boob is off the table. I pat and stuff and also offer him his sippy cup of water if he's persistent.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 4:22 pm 
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have you tried a straw sippy cup? My daughter nursed till she was almost 2 and had no interest in the spout sippy, I noticed a lot of babies/toddlers who have nursed are the same way. But-the only type of milk she will drink is chocolate soymilk. She eats lots of nut butters, like asks for spoons of peanut/almond butter. When she was getting up in the middle of the night at that age I told her the nursies went night night and she believed me and would go back to sleep.


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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 6:46 am 
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Silas weaned almost 2 weeks ago. The first few days were rough, but he's eating so much more real food now! And drinking tons of milk! I think they have to get over that hump and realize it's time to move on, you know?

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 9:56 am 
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ol' garly cooch
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I'll try the straw approach. This is the second time it has been mentioned, so The Universe is probably dropping a hint.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2011 8:38 am 
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ol' garly cooch
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Y'all, my stuff is hurting. I've been eating a ton of stuff with basil, mint, and sage to dry the ladies up, but what else besides that and hot showers can I do? Ugh.

Plus, Fini is teething again, and I'm frustrated because she wants to nurse and I can't help her other than hold her.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2011 12:40 pm 
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Poor Fini <3 so hard when they are teething!

Maybe wearing really tight sports bras will ease the pain a bit? This helped me when I weaned Silas.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:37 am 
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ol' garly cooch
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Straw approach works! Yay! Now, if I could just get Mr. J. on board with it. He's more attached to using the bottle to feed her than she is!

Boobs still hurt. I don't remember them aching this much when I weaned Blasto.
I'm also really sad about my kids not being little babies anymore. While unpacking, I came across a bunch of newborn photos for both children and got all farklempt.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:46 am 
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It's been about a month since Silas weaned. A few days ago, he saw me changing and got all excited, signing to nurse, I told him that the nursey milk is all-gone because it's in his cup now and he smiled, clapped and ran for his cup.

Who is this kid? A few months ago, that would have sent him into complete hysterics and cups would have flown. Literally.

I still can't believe he isn't nursing anymore. I'm glad, I was done. But I do miss all of the cuddling and the ease.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 9:25 am 
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I'm confused about this whole weaning thing. I was really busy at work on Tuesday, so I didn't get a chance to pump. Turns out, it didn't bother me at all. My boobs didn't hurt, or even feel full to bursting like they used to. Kai didn't seem to fuss any more than usual when I got home and nursed, before bed and during the night. So I thought hey, this is great! I won't have to pump at work anymore!

I think normally, women can do this and their supply is ok for nighttime, right? But, I'm kinda worried that since mine isn't great to begin with, I'll dry up.

On the one hand, I wouldn't mind that so much, because I don't love nursing and wouldn't be too upset for it to end sooner than I'd planned. On the other hand, I don't want Kai to be upset. He definitely still likes nursing at night, and doesn't go to sleep without it.

The thing I really wonder is what happens if I dry up but he still wants it to sleep? Will he just get used to it pretty quickly, or will he keep crying for it and be inconsolable? I don't want that to happen, so I think maybe I should pump today....but then, I think maybe I won't totally dry up and it will be ok not to pump?? I'm so unsure what to do!

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:31 am 
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Auby, it takes a while for someone to dry up their supply. When you pump, you're putting in a purchase order to your body for the next day if that makes any sense.

When I made the decision to wean, I did it quickly for Blasto, but have taken my time with Fini. I phased out the morning feeding first, then the afternoon feeding, then the snack feeding, then I saved the one right before bed for last. I've had a friend tell me she worked backwards the same way. Whichever feeding is the most meaningful for you and Kai is the one you'll want to save for last. At least that is my experience.

If he seems to struggle at first, find an activity that is special that can replace the feeding, like snuggling, brushing teeth, or replacing boob with a non-dairy milk. That's what I do with Fini. She now knows we all brush teeth, read stories, change, and she sips the cup of milk before bed. She even sings the "night night" song when she's done with her milk!

I'm sure you know from reading weaning hurts too. You'll start feeling that achey engorged feeling. I followed Kelly's tight bra advice and have taken hot/cold showers to reduce the ache. I've also been taking ibuprofen for the pain and eating things with basil, sage, and rosemary to dry stuff up. I'm pretty sure I counter balance that with all the kale I devour.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:43 am 
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Thanks. Isn't it kind of weird that I can go from 6AM until 5:30 PM without even feeling full though? It wasn't always that way - when I first went back to work I would feel like I was going to burst and start leaking after 5 or 6 hours.

Last week I pumped once or twice a day, and would get 1 or 1.5 oz per pump. I wonder how much he even gets when I feed him now? He nurses still at 5:30, 7:30, 10:30-11ish, sometimes 1AMish, on bad nights also 2amish, then he gets up again at 4 or 5 AM and I bring him to bed with me and he snacks until I get up at 6AM.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:50 am 
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ol' garly cooch
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Weird? Not really. Same thing happened to me.

Mouth trumps machine. You'll never get very much from a pump over your kid's mouth. How old is he now? I experienced this when Fini started solids.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:52 am 
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He's 9 months. If I don't feel full now though, and I weaned gradually, would it still hurt? I hadn't read that actually...I don't think I've found much helpful info about weaning, thus my confusion.

I guess my biggest question is if I don't pump, will I still be able to continue nursing him at night like I do.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:37 pm 
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yep, you definitely will. pumping and nursing around the clock is important for the first few months as hormones are still fluctuating. once your milk supply is established, it's not so much a use or lose it situation... your body will just keep replacing what is taken out. kai is still getting a lot during the night, so your body will go on replacing that milk for as long as he takes it out (barring a huge hormonal shift, like getting pregnant or something, which can occasionally really affect a woman's supply). tzippy regularly doesn't nurse for 8 or more hours at a time, and i still have plenty of milk. i don't ever feel full or that tingly let-down like i used to, but she's still swallowing. the biggest difference i notice is that let down does take longer, and that she is more likely to nurse for comfort than nutrition (like, she is upset and asks to nurse, and then is better and wants down before let down has even happened). neither of those things are bad for an older baby... comfort is a very important aspect of nursing, which a lot of people take for granted.

anyway, you can definitely stop pumping during the day and keep nursing at night. i do think it's important that he be getting formula to replace the breast milk you aren't pumping for him. under 12 months, i wouldn't feel comfortable with a baby only having solids or non-human milk for such a long time.


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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 9:51 pm 
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this is going to sound really left field BUT i was told to put a leaf of cabbage in my bra when i was weaning, that it would help diminish supply. i never needed to, as my supply basically said "oh thank forking heaven" and immediately gave up the ghost, but it might help someone.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 7:48 am 
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Great, thanks littlebird. It will be a lot less of a hassle not pumping at work. So far so good - last night went ok too, I even saw some milk dribble out of his mouth this morning so it still seems to be coming out!

He drinks about 20 oz of formula a day. (even when I was pumping 3 x a day, I still only ever got 1 - 1.5 oz per pump, so the most I ever got was a bottle a day) I feel a bit bad about that, but a month or two ago a lactation consultant told me I should try to focus on the comfort aspect of nursing, which is really important too. So that's what I've been doing. He's always been sort of a needy baby, wanting to be held all the time and whatnot, so I figure the comfort and bonding is actually pretty important for him. That's the main reason I don't want to wean him altogether yet, even though he is really mostly drinking formula.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 7:56 am 
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ok, i thought i remembered you saying he was getting formula during the day, just wanted to make sure. formula is fine! he is still getting the immune system benefits from breastmilk, not to mention, yeah, the comfort thing is a super big deal, and it's such a good way to reconnect after being apart during the day.


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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 11:24 am 
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Officially all dried up. Sad, but glad the pain is over. Nice to have my boobs back.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 05, 2011 8:43 am 
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Sorry this is going to be long but I'm so stressed out I don't even know what to do. I feel like my nights are a prison filled with some kind of military boob torture. I am so tired. Here's the story:

For some reason, the past 3 nights Kai has slept fine in his crib from 7:30ish - 1:30pm, then wakes up and REFUSES to sleep in his crib for the rest of the night. (before that, he was sleeping in his crib all night, usually waking up 2 - 3 times for nursing) The 1st night I thought maybe he was teething or something, ok no problem, so I brought him to sleep in bed with me. But now it has continued for 3 nights and I really don't want to get into a pattern because I absolutely hate co-sleeping. Now I don't think he's teething, especially because in the 1st half of the night he sleeps in the crib fine. I even saw him on the video monitor wake up around 10:30, cry a little, sit up, crawl around, then lay back down and go back to sleep. So I know he can soothe himself to sleep if he wants to.

So last night I figured I better not just give in because I was tired, and really try to get him to sleep in his crib. I nursed him till he was drowsy and put him back in the crib 2-3 times, but he cried and wouldn't go to sleep. So then I woke my husband up and told him to give him a bottle. (this was the only thing that got him to sleep the night before - even in bed with us, he was crawling around, babbling, poking our bellies and pulling my husband's chest hair, etc etc etc) But this time he even refused the bottle, and just kept slapping it away. He started to cry louder and louder, even though my husband was holding him and rocking him and making shuuuush noises. It was clear he wanted me so I went back in his room and tried to soothe him and give him the bottle but no luck.

So then I nursed him again and tried to put him in the crib. By now this has been going on for over 2 hours, it is past 3:30AM and I'm at my wits end. So I figured I'd try just letting him stay in the crib, maybe he'd finally give up and go to sleep like I saw him do on the video monitor. I sang lullabies, but nope, he just cried and cried and cried. I nursed again and tried again but nope, he WOULD NOT GO TO SLEEP. By now I'm crying, he's crying, I'm having a breakdown and can't take it anymore.

I finally caved and brought him to sleep in the bed. He crawled, then pulled, stretched, yanked and bit my boob for at least another 30 minutes while I lay awake. Finally he squooshed himself in my armpit and went to sleep. I was afraid he couldn't breathe like that, so I had to move over, with half my body hanging off the side of the mattress (it's on the floor). I laid there looking at my husband alseep, the baby asleep, the dog asleep (also squooshed up against my feet, not my husband's of course) and hated the world until maybe I finally fell asleep around 4:30ish.

I don't know what to do. I hate cosleeping, I hate nursing, I want him to wean but obviously he doesn't want to. I don't want him to cry, so I don't know what to do. I feel like a terrible mother and now I don't even want to deal with taking care of him today, probably because I'm racked with guilt. If I could just get 1 night of sleep, maybe I could refresh but that hasn't happened in over a year. (he's going to be 11 months old on 9/11). Luckily my husband is home today and taking care of him so I got to sleep a little, but already my back was killing me and it is noisy and I can't really sleep all day so that wasn't too helpful as far as overall resting.

Incidentally, he isn't nursing during the day anymore and I haven't been pumping. So at least that was better, but now I'd really like to stop nursing him completely around his 1st birthday. I don't even think I have that much milk so all this sucking all night can't even be much more than comfort. Another detail is that he had to be super tired yesterday, because we were at the beach all day. So it isn't like he was too rested to sleep.

Anyway, what would you do? I know most mothers here seem to love nursing and cosleeping, so I don't know what my problem is, but I hate it. I hate staying in the same uncomfortable position all night, I hate not being able to move around, I hate being pushed out of the bed, I hate sleeping with my shirt up, I hate the sucking biting stretching annoying feeling of it all. On the other hand, I hate when my son is upset and I've never let him cry it out before, so I don't really think that's an option. I want to give him what he wants, but it is making me so miserable.

What can I do???? Any practical advice for this mom at the end of her rope?

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 05, 2011 9:55 am 
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OMG now he won't even take a nap. He already wasn't taking his afternoon naps, now he won't take his morning nap either! What is going on? Is he just so excited about life he can't sleep? I'd love to encourage him to be excited about life, but he needs his sleep! I've read some studies show even just an hour less sleep per night can affect a babies' cognitive functioning. So this isn't good for him or me. Ugh.

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