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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 5:28 pm 
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Felix just squished a piece of playdough into lump that he decided was a dinosaur, but to me had no discernible features. He was stomping it around on the table and a chunk fell off.
He says, "Uh-oh. He lost his head."

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:25 am 
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Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
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"Stop that, you freaky jerk!" - friend's kid, to pop-up ad interrupting her game.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 7:00 pm 
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We are experimenting with "healthy eating" for Sprog and I made her sesame milk tonight. It came out lovely and we had been talking about the bar my grandmother used to have in her basement and how my cousin and I used to hang out in the bar (and how my grandmother used to love White Russians, which I think are the Worst Idea Ever.
Sprog tasted the milk and said "this is so great, I think I will use it for some Douchey Mocktails".

(i should add that Dushy is the name of a non-alcoholic champagne here, pronounce it like douchey)

[We have just decided that Douchey Mocktail would be a great name for a fox. We're not sure why.]

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 7:04 pm 
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Seagull of the PPK
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And

while I was typing this ^, a strange bird noise was heard outside in the dark- maybe a grumpy toucan or a mutum (which is Tupi for "big forking quail"). Sprog came flying into the room saying "I just heard Gollum outside and I'm afraid he's going to eat my hands."
Where DO they get this stuff???

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 10:11 pm 
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Hearts James Cromwell
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My 12-, 6-, and 3-year-old cousins were visiting over the weekend. The 6-year-old and 3-year-old were being extremely loud, so my aunt told them to quiet down and go see what my dad was doing. Apparently he was in the room where our shrine is, because the 6-year-old came back and whispered to us, "He's praying for peace and quiet!"


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 12:39 am 
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"It's the weekend, I'm an 11 year old, and I need to play video games!"

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 11:17 pm 
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A lady with a kid had me make her a flower arrangement, and she was leaving to go shopping while it was being made up, and her kid ran over to me and did that cupping her hands around her mouth like she was telling me a secret thing, and she said "I'll give you a tip! Put fiddlehead ferns in it!"

We do have fiddlehead ferns, so I did. But I just thought it was too adorable how she said "I'll give you a tip!"

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 1:59 am 
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A friend's son (he's 5 or 6) kept passing gas of the silent but violent variety, so his mom said "I think you need to go to the bathroom, don't you?" to which he responded with "yeah, my poop is whispering."

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 7:31 pm 
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poopiebitch wrote:
"yeah, my poop is whispering."

Oh my god, using that one.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 9:55 pm 
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Before bed every night, I sing the Emperor three songs of his choosing. He almost always demands Baa Baa (black) Sheep but then changes his mind and goes no no, no Baa Baa Sheep, I want (whatever). I don't care, not a problem for me, I don't scold him for it or anything.

Tonight we're in and I'm asking him what song he wants to hear and he goes: "Baa baa sheep! No wait. No Baa baa sheep. (Exasperated sigh.) Why I do that? Why I do that every single time?"

It was hard not to just bust out laughing. Kid, I've wondered that too.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 11:07 pm 
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That is so hilarious, coldandsleepy!

While my friend was on the phone and on hold the other day, her four year old asked if she has to sing along with the music while she's waiting. So cute!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 3:01 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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In the 30 seconds it took me to take Raygold's diaper and put it in the diaper bin, both kids peed on the bedroom floor.
Beetroot: Crabby, I--Raygold peed on the floor!
Crabby: How do I know it wasn't you who peed on the floor?
Beetroot: 'Cause I peed on the dehumidifier!

(Okay, Beetroot doesn't call me Crabby, but he does call me by my first name -- which is an improvement. Until recently, he called me by my Mr. Crabby's first name!)

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 6:07 am 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
Before bed every night, I sing the Emperor three songs of his choosing. He almost always demands Baa Baa (black) Sheep but then changes his mind and goes no no, no Baa Baa Sheep, I want (whatever). I don't care, not a problem for me, I don't scold him for it or anything.

Tonight we're in and I'm asking him what song he wants to hear and he goes: "Baa baa sheep! No wait. No Baa baa sheep. (Exasperated sigh.) Why I do that? Why I do that every single time?"

It was hard not to just bust out laughing. Kid, I've wondered that too.


omg. love. he kills me. kids shouldn't allowed to be as cute as him PLUS have such a adorable personality, it's too much.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 1:39 pm 
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Mikey: Will you give me a hug so I'll feel better?

Henry: No. It is too late for that. You should probably eat some food to help you feel better. Maybe some candy.

and so it begins.... ;)


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 7:11 pm 
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This thread makes me excited for the day that Grey can talk. He is already so adorable with his babbling, but man. The Emperor kills me, so cute! and Henry suggesting candy to make Mikey feel better? That is always my solution!

(On a side note any time any one asks me what I am thinking about I always say candy).


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 9:06 am 
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ol' garly cooch
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Kate wrote:
poopiebitch wrote:
"yeah, my poop is whispering."

Oh my god, using that one.



Dude!


Me: What did you eat at daycare today?

Blasto: Well, I ate an invisible hamburger-(aka just the bun) because I didn't want a chicken patty.

Me: Why didn't you want a chicken patty?

Blasto: Because it's DEAD CHICKEN mommy. You know that. That's why you don't eat meat. And I don't want to eat meat because I don't want to eat dead animals.

((((my brain is clapping and squeeing)))

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 11:26 am 
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yay!!! I wish henry would say something like that!! he is super protective of animals but he doesn't really "get" it yet. He still tells me when he grows up he is going to be "not a vegan" so he can eat whatever he wants. ugh.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 12:48 pm 
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ol' garly cooch
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Megan My Dear wrote:
yay!!! I wish henry would say something like that!! he is super protective of animals but he doesn't really "get" it yet. He still tells me when he grows up he is going to be "not a vegan" so he can eat whatever he wants. ugh.



I wouldn't worry about it. Vin and I have gone around and around about the importance of our children making their own choices, and I don't agree completely with that. We've had an incident where grandpa has taken him to McSlaughters and bought him a hamburger and Blasto couldn't stop perseverating about cows. I had a talk with my FIL about that. Now Blasto will only eat "invisible hamburgers" and "invisible hot dogs."

I don't want to feed my kids poison that has been made from an animal because it's wrong. And it's poison. Your Henry will figure it out. I'm sure Blasto won't always feel that way either. It was just such a cool thing to hear him say, and I felt he really meant that. We came into our own in our own time, our kids will too because they have excellent role models.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:59 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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jewbacca wrote:
I wouldn't worry about it. Vin and I have gone around and around about the importance of our children making their own choices, and I don't agree completely with that. We've had an incident where grandpa has taken him to McSlaughters and bought him a hamburger and Blasto couldn't stop perseverating about cows. I had a talk with my FIL about that. Now Blasto will only eat "invisible hamburgers" and "invisible hot dogs."

I don't want to feed my kids poison that has been made from an animal because it's wrong. And it's poison. Your Henry will figure it out. I'm sure Blasto won't always feel that way either. It was just such a cool thing to hear him say, and I felt he really meant that. We came into our own in our own time, our kids will too because they have excellent role models.

Awesome!

My husband was raised vegetarian (and cheated a little out of curiosity when he was younger behind his parents' backs) and people are always asking me if I am going to let my kids eat meat and cheese if they ask to. The answer is no. If they want to sneak around behind my back, I can't stop them (much like if they tried smoking), but I won't let them eat something I don't approve of while they are in my care and under my guidance. Some people think I am being really mean, but tough shiitake. It's not like my vegan intentions are malicious or anything. ;p

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 4:19 pm 
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I totally agree with you guys, but I do wish there were more vegan equivalents or alternatives. I don't eat at McDo (yuck), but I wish that I weren't facing the prospect of my kid going hungry on a field trip, or not being able to buy anything from an ice cream truck, or just always having to be the odd one out. I don't mind it, I'm an adult, but I don't want her to feel left out or worse go hungry.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 3:30 pm 
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While we were at the park for Zola's birthday, Felix went up to a little girl a little smaller than him and put his arm around her shoulder, super gently like. She started talking to him, pointing at something and saying, "Look!" And Felix looked and said, "Ohhhh!" and then just stood there with his arm around her. It was the sweetest, cutest goddamned thing I've ever seen and I've been squeeeing about it to everyone I know.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 3:57 pm 
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My brother called me to let me know something my niece said. He was getting dinner ready, and he and my SIL were having crabcakes.

Corrine says, "Daddy, what's in those."
My brother says, "Crabs."
Corrine: Are they dead?
Brother: Yes, sweetheart.
Corrine: Well were they alive?
Brother: Yes, sweetheart.
Corrine: Well, that's just not right.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 4:19 pm 
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Smart kid.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 4:36 pm 
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Next-door neighbor kid talking to GG about GG's cousin (who comes over a lot): When Emma comes here, you should spank her butt.

GG: Duh. What else would I do?

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2011 3:15 am 
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‎"Mom, I can't get my penis into my butt! Oh, no!"
"Uh..it's not supposed to go there, honey."
"Okay!"

Beetroot also likes to find rogue handkerchiefs and run around with them stuffed into his buttcrack. However, we try to discourage this kind of behaviour.

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